Days passed and Malachi could hardly register it happening. His world seemed to be shrouded in an impenetrable haze. Nights became a dreaded time of the day. Something had changed after days of excessively sleeping, likely demolishing his natural sleep cycle. Now he could hardly fall asleep at all and spent many nights tossing and turning in utter misery. There was a despondency that he couldn't escape from. It was always with him and it colored and distorted every little thing he managed to get himself to do. It became easier thinking about Jensen than it did thinking about himself. He felt sick and twisted yet at the same time incredibly empty. It was too much to parse through. Ignoring it seemed all he was capable of doing despite it affecting him so profoundly.
He hoped Jensen wouldn't notice, but who was he kidding? The perceptive child must have known something was wrong, the way he was forever barging into his room trying to distract him or imploring him not to cry and that everything would work out. He was always trying to comfort him. As awkward as that felt for someone so young trying to help him in that way, it was also becoming quite tiresome. No amount of "it'll be alright, daddy"s were going to change his mood. It wasn't as if he didn't say those things to himself or that he was deliberately ignoring him. Malachi felt as if he had no control over it. He knew that it was something internal that had gone terribly wrong, but he had no clue how to fix it.
Malachi soon had Jensen enrolled in a nearby elementary school for the 4th grade. As it turned out, school started in a few weeks. It was the best-case scenario for Jensen. Though Jensen had had some misgivings in the past, he was beginning to warm up to the idea. He'd be amongst his own peers and he could make friends. The latter was the part he was looking forward to the most and Malachi was glad for that. Maybe if Jensen hung out with kids his age, he would begin to act more his age—or at least the age he appeared to be.
School was still a long ways off, however, and Malachi had to occupy his time with something productive—that was what he told himself anyway. Instead, he spent his days wallowing in self-pity. He took Jensen out to almost every kid-friendly attraction possible including amusement parks, recreational centers, local fairs, and even the beach since the weather was still fair. Malachi wanted to be distracted, but that task seemed impossible. Every single moment he had alone to himself, his mind would replay that moment in time as Bra crisply ended things with him. It was a scene that kept repeating in his mind. There was always a small voice telling him that he should have known better, that he never had a chance in the first place, that he'd wasted his time once again, that perhaps it might be time to put himself out of his misery. This cloud that followed him everywhere appeared like a permanent fixture. Would it really be worth it to continue life in such a state? Such thoughts ran through his mind when he spotted something particularly sharp and metal. He would think about Jensen and slowly pull himself away from that deep abyss.
He was too afraid to be around sharp objects at all if he could help it. He avoided the kitchen altogether, knowing that he would soon be tempted and he didn't want to risk even a minor slip in judgement. He stopped cooking altogether in favor of ordering out or going out to eat for dinner. All the time, Jensen was happy. Sadly, it was the only reason he attempted to function on a daily basis. Jensen was always excited to go anywhere with him even if it was to a park—he'd be over the moon if Malachi joined in as well. He did so sometimes, but not all the time. When there were other kids around, Malachi kept his distance.
No matter how bright and sunny the day, night time would come. It only exacerbated the issue. He often distracted himself with video games and slept only in short snatches as he would awaken again and again. After surviving the night, the sun would mercifully rise again.
"Daddy!" Jensen said in excited tones, bright and early as he ran into his room.
"Yeah? What is it?" Malachi said in less than excited tones.
"Is it okay if I visit Yamcha? He said he had a game today and he bought me VIP tickets to come. Gohan will be there too. I told him to get you one too, but—"
"It's alright. I told him long ago that I hated watching those things. Have fun at the game."
"I will. You mean, I can just go there on my own?"
"You'll be with Yamcha, right? And Gohan. I know you'll be able to take care of yourself."
"Thank you, Daddy!"
"Sure, kid. It's not like I bought the tickets."
Just like that, Malachi was left on his own for the first time in a while. The game started a bit later, but Jensen had wanted to spend some time with Yamcha beforehand. Very quickly, Malachi had the house all to himself. It didn't take long for the quietness to begin to consume his repetitious thoughts. When he sat down on a couch intending to watch television, he neglected to turn it on as his eyes wandered to the high white ceiling above. The more he stared at it, the more hollow he began to feel. Though he wasn't wasted or high, it was beginning to feel like he was, that is until he was startled half to death with a knock on the door. His breath caught in his throat and he had some real issue trying to regain his breathing as he choked on his own saliva.
The knocking was loud, almost frantic. It made him a lot more cautious as he was finally able to climb off the couch and make his way to the door.
"Hey, Malachi—it's me, Pan!" she shouted. Her voice was muffled by the thick front doors.
Malachi was a little confused to her presence here. She'd never come to visit him before. He'd also not called her in a while. He had not had a reason for it and Malachi was ever cautious about Bra's tendency to become jealous. Now, it didn't matter so much. Still, he felt apprehensive, he felt he was doing something wrong walking across the room and answering the door.
"Oh, Malachi—I'm so glad to see you. Jensen told me everything," she said as she spread her arms open and pulled him into a firm embrace.
He didn't even pretend to be put off by her sudden appearance or her actions at the moment. "I'm so sorry," he heard her say, as he finally reciprocated. Having her there, at the very least, was comforting, but he found he had no tears to spare. He wondered if he had any emotion at all to spare. He was glad to finally remove himself from her hold.
"So…Jensen told you to come?" Malachi asked the sympathetic woman.
"He sounded really worried about you. I had no idea any of this had happened—why didn't you tell me?"
Malachi watched her pensively. "I didn't think it pertinent or necessary."
"But you're here all alone with only Jensen to keep you company," Pan said as if it should have been obvious what his next steps should have been.
"Yeah, and?" Malachi replied with slight annoyance. He didn't like being made to feel as if he'd missed something obvious. "What's done is done and this had nothing to do with you. But since you're here," he said turning now, allowing the other further entrance, "might as well invite you in."
"Well, good. Glad to hear you've come to your senses somewhat," Pan said as she closed the door behind her.
Who did she think she was anyway? They'd spent maybe two days together. He didn't think it was grounds for telling her everything that was going on his life. Sure, they were on good terms, but certainly not to this extent.
"Not much happening today—I was just about to watch some television."
"Okay, that's fine," Pan said as she followed him, "I just wanted to check on you to see how you're doing."
"Well," he began as he took a seat on the couch in the living room, "As you can see, I'm perfectly alive."
"But certainly not well," Pan said giving him a knowing look as she took a seat beside him on the opposite end of the couch.
"I'm fine," Malachi replied in a challenging tone—he'd not meant it to be, but it had come out that way. Was he trying to convince her of something? Why did he feel as if he was in trouble? He'd done nothing wrong—well, not to her at least.
"Malachi, it looks like you haven't really slept in days. I can only imagine the things that are going through your head."
"Let's hope it stays that way," he said with a sigh. "It's not worth discussing."
He felt her eyes on him as he looked at the blackened screen of the television. The remote still sat in his hand and he idly fiddled with it.
"You're right. It's probably not. But I'm always here to listen, Malachi, always. You don't have to go through this alone."
"Geez, you act like somebody died," he said glancing at her, "I'm not 'going through' anything. Our relationship just didn't work out. And pretty soon I'll be too busy to even think about it anymore."
"Tell me what happened," Pan said singularly as she sat back against the couch.
His eyebrows furrowed at this, wondering if he should answer her or continue to brush her off. She'd came all the way out here, Malachi reasoned, out of concern and truthfully perhaps there was something to be concerned about. It was easier to sweep things under the rug and pretend everything was fine, but he knew that was dangerous. He knew he should probably talk to someone other than Jensen. If the past few days had told him anything, he knew he was barely holding it together. Sleepless nights aside, his mind was often going to places he didn't want and it would stay there for long periods of time. It was a bit like quicksand, the more he struggled, the more things became worse. He'd never experienced anything like it before. Usually he would bounce back, he always did. No matter what terrible thing had happened, eventually the sadness would go away and he'd move on.
"Tell me what happened," Pan repeated but with a bit more force.
He looked at her now. Her eyes were full of concern—a fact that still surprised him. Why did she care so much? He sighed. "I told her about myself. That I was like you. I hadn't actually been planning to. I briefly considered never telling her in the first place, but I knew that I would eventually. Before I married her, she would at least have to know that…or else it wouldn't be right. Time was running out. I'd been procrastinating.
"When I told that to her, to a woman like Bra and she was finally able to grasp what I was saying, she looked at me like…" He shook his head slowly recounting the confused, disgusted look she gave him. "Like I was less than human, unworthy of her. Like there was something wrong with me—and maybe there is, but it's not something I can fix. I never imagined she would just do that so suddenly—in the middle of our date no less. It's like everything we did together, everything that I ever meant to her meant absolutely nothing. There was nothing I could say,"—one of his hands clenched around the remote—"there was nothing I could do, there was just nothing there to salvage. I was talking to a brick wall. It was the worst possible reaction. I mean, I never imagined that she would be so drastic, that she would just shut-down right before my eyes."
Pan moved a little closer to him. "Maybe she just needs some time to process."
Malachi shook his head. "I thought so too, but the more I think about it, the more I realize that she probably meant what she said—she was done with me. That was her final decision."
"You guys have been dating for forever," Pan said with furrowed eyebrows. "This all just seems out of the blue. And yet you sound so certain."
"You weren't there. You didn't see what she was like. She'd never talked to me like that before. It was different." He looked up briefly. "All that because I told her I don't feel the same way about sex as she does. Seriously. Who cares? I've always struggled to understand why it's so damn important or why so many people think that it can solve all their problems. Even now. Even more so now. Clearly, I'm missing something. Or it's just me. I don't know."
"It's not just you," Pan said. "But I've seen so many articles about dating advice that claim that sex is the answer, it's always the answer. It's great for exercise, it keeps the relationship exciting, if you miss out on it for a while, you start acting out. All these things. It's hilarious. Who are we to argue with the experts? It's something that's vital to life so they have to be right."
"I do think it's that way for many people. I'm sure it's quite valid for most. I wish it was for me. I wish I could feel something like I know others do when it comes to that."
"You really think you're missing out?" Pan asked curiously.
"I think I wouldn't be here talking about this if I was just normal," he said wistfully, "Nothing good has ever come of it—it's always getting in the way, making things harder than it needs to be."
"Is it now?" Pan asked as if it was a statement. "You can't think of it like that. From where I stand, you're not the one with the issue and it's completely understandable why you didn't tell her about it so quickly. No one knows how a relationship will end up or whether you'll click or not. To talk about personal things like that, you both needed time to know each other better. The time spent dating is all about learning those things. Nowhere does it say that it needs to happen all at once. You told her when you felt the most comfortable to do so. I bet there's still yet things you don't know about her just as it is for her you. No one can truly know a person in the span of two years sometimes not even a lifetime. She told you something about herself that day too. Now you know how easy it is for her to throw away things that you consider enduring without even a second thought. Bra has always been a bit rash, but eventually she comes to her senses."
"You're right," Malachi said slowly, "I never thought of it like that. In the past, I always felt stupid telling people upfront about things like that. People who aren't like me or you, don't even think twice about describing just how they like things. You learn that eventually as time goes on. It made me feel like we were building a relationship based on how well one could pleasure the other—and that always sounded so silly to me. I wanted to do things differently this time because I was tired of trying to explain myself."
"My thoughts exactly. Of course, my answer became I avoided the whole relationship thing altogether. But, I'm curious—I suppose this question might be a bit personal…"
"Just ask," Malachi said. It was as if they were close friends—the same phenomenon that had occurred the first time he'd met her. She had a certain way about her that immediately drew his trust.
"Clearly, you're not completely opposed to sex if you can still do it convincingly with others. I just don't understand how you do it."
"I was never opposed to it in the first place. I just didn't understand it and…I did what I always do when I don't understand something."
"You researched."
"Yeah, from all the places one is supposed to be turned on. Porn, strip clubs, other questionable settings…It was all quite mindboggling even still, but I'd seen enough to emulate. It wasn't something I did on my own—I can't take all the credit. With Bra, it's different. When you actually care for a person even if you get no enjoyment out of it, it's enough that she does."
"I see. Guess I've never loved anyone quite that much before. You said before that you weren't looking for a soulmate, but the way you talk about Bra…"
"I suppose it's different now—or at least it was. I don't know and I don't want to jump to conclusions. It's a little late to be thinking like that."
"I don't think this so-called break-up is as permanent as you think. This is more like a 'Bra seriously needs to cool down and think' period."
"Hm. Well, you know her better, but I'm not holding my breath."
"I'll talk to her," Pan volunteered.
"Don't," Malachi said stolidly. "Please don't. It won't amount to anything and it would be so…desperate. Nothing worse than trying to pursue someone who isn't into you anymore. If I was in that person's shoes, I'd be annoyed. I've said all that I could and she's made her decision," he said with a sigh. His eyes had returned to the television, finding solace there once again.
"So, doom and gloom. All this 'it's final' talk is getting really tiring. If she called you right now, would you take her back?"
"Like a fool, I would."
Pan giggled which drew a glance from him. "Sorry—it's just sometimes you're so open with your feelings. I like it."
"Only with you, Pan. Maybe you missed your calling in life; being a psychologist."
"I'll take that as a compliment though I've never been told that before. I'm largely ignored in my very small group of friends unless there's a fight involved."
"Shame," Malachi said singularly.
"I hope you're ready for what I have planned today," Pan said with a smile. "I didn't just come here to talk, you know. From what Jensen told me, you 'need to hang out with more adults'."
"He said that?" Malachi said with a laugh despite himself. "If I wanted to do that, I would."
"Gonna' call up your celebrity pals? Too big to hang out with us commoners?" Pan teased. "I'm only joking," she said when she saw his face. "Marron's gonna' be here any second. There may or may not be karaoke involved."
"You're killing me, Pan, I really didn't want to do anything today," Malachi said with a sigh as he looked towards the floor.
"All the more reason to do it. You can't just stay cooped up here like this all by yourself."
By now, Malachi noticed that Pan had moved closer to him. She was all smiles and positivity yet none of it seemed to be rubbing off on him. He could tell her to leave and shut her out completely, but something told him that she'd done some actual planning for all this. How long ago had Jensen called her?
"I could," Malachi said back.
"But you shouldn't and I'll drag you out the house if need be."
"I wouldn't put it past you. When's this Marron supposed to be here?"
"Anytime now," Pan said shaking her head. "She's not the most punctual person in the world."
"Good," Malachi said. "Prolonging the inevitable."
"You look tired," Pan said after a long moment when nothing was said for a while.
He'd been looking down, head in his hands for longer than he'd anticipated. His eyes were closed but he wasn't asleep as usual. He felt her hand on his shoulder probably out of concern. Maybe it was his imagination, but it seemed as if she was inviting him to move closer. He didn't feel like trying to figure out if this was the case or not. Instead, he did what he realized he wanted to do at that moment and laid across her lap. He received no protests from the other. In fact, she readjusted herself to make it a bit more comfortable for him. Just like the other two Saiyans that he'd met, she was warm like a furnace and as always, he was the opposite. Though he probably still wouldn't fall asleep in this position, it was nice nonetheless. He preferred the closeness of a woman over all other things designed to make one feel comfortable. His eyes were still closed—it was better than staring at something for an eternity.
"You know I can't just go out like you guys can," Malachi finally said to her. "It's not so easy. Even disguises don't always work and when it goes wrong, it turns into a shit-storm."
"Yeah, I know. Must be so weird having so many people know who you are at any given time."
"At first," Malachi admitted, "But then I got used to it. I try to be as accommodating as possible to them. I'm forever looking through my e-mail. I'll never actually get to see all of them, but I try anyway."
"You've done that recently? Looked through your e-mail?"
"No, actually. I guess I've been…distracted."
"Hm," Pan said thoughtfully, "Maybe you should. It might be helpful."
"Helpful to what?"
"To put things more in perspective. Sometimes we get stuck in our own heads, in our own world, focusing on the negative instead of the positive. For you, it's a little different. There are literally thousands of people who you affect on a daily basis for the better. Your music enriches people's lives."
"Thank you," Malachi said instead of all the negative thoughts that had come to mind. Praises were always hard to take when he thought so little about himself as he did then.
"I really mean that," Pan reinforced.
"I know," Malachi replied. "I'm really glad for that. I love all my fans."
"That's relieving to hear," Pan said. "I've always wondered about things like that—whether people just get tired of getting all the accolades after a while. It's on such a regular basis, so commonplace that it might lose its significance."
He felt as her hand gently ran through his hair. He made no protests to this.
"I doubt that would ever happen," Malachi said. "Without their support, well, I certainly wouldn't be here. Who knows if I'd even be alive."
"You seem like a resourceful guy. Don't sell yourself short. Look how easily you caught on to fighting. It's kind of inspiring to see a human learn so quickly. Maybe we're not as helpless as everyone assumes."
"You ask any other person and I'm sure they'd think the same. I've never thought of myself as weak, most people don't anyways. Sure, training is helpful, genetics as well, but it's the mindset that matters the most. If you treat someone as if they're weak, then they will be, but if you encourage them, if you tell them that they are strong, then they will be. All this 'he's strong because he's a Saiyan' or 'you can't do that because you're human' will pretty much stanch any growth there might have been otherwise."
"A bit of a tangent, but I can tell you feel strongly about that."
"I do," Malachi admitted.
"Maybe you'd be interested in demonstrating your skills to me again eventually—just like last time."
"Not right now," Malachi said wearily. "Think I just want to get back into the studio again. It's been a while."
"I see. You really do like doing music. The way you trained so hard it seemed like you were passionate about fighting as well."
"Can I not like both?"
"You can, but it's a rare thing. A world class entertainer who can also hold his own in a serious battle."
"Sounds silly," Malachi said at once. "On paper, it would sound worse."
Pan laughed at this. "Perhaps you're right, but that's exactly how I think of you."
He wondered if she would continue showering him with compliments—it was becoming only a little annoying. He didn't have anything to say to this so he didn't bother with responding. At the very least, he felt quite relaxed after days of anxiousness and sleeplessness. She was talking again, but he wasn't listening as he began to drift off. Were it not for the eventuality of having to go anywhere that day, it would have been perfect. Maybe they'd just go without him if they saw how tired he was and that it would be rude to be awakened for something as frivolous as an impromptu outing.
"Malachi?" Pan said when the other hadn't responded. She'd inquired about when he was planning on working again. When she called his name one more time, she realized that he was likely asleep—a fact which brought a smile to her face.
"This won't last long," Pan said out loud as she continued to stroke his dark, silky hair. "You two will find each other again. I can see that you really love her and I can't imagine Bra not feeling the same way—not the way she bragged about you. It's just like her, you know, to crush people's hearts without even a second thought to the consequences. She's done it to me plenty of times and yet I still want to be her friend. That's the kind of person you fell for. I hope it doesn't destroy you in the end. There's only so much emotional pain one can take and Bra, well, she's never aware of those kinds of things."
Pan thought back on that time when Bra had called her, completely irate about yet another thing that Malachi had done. She'd receive calls like these from time to time from Bra with any guy that she happened to be dating. Often it was petty and Pan would try to steer her towards understanding rather than conflict. That was easier said than done as it was difficult to convince Bra to see things from other's perspectives and that she was just as fallible as the next person. In general, people didn't just do less than savory things to others for no reason. Usually there was a reason and in many of Bra's cases, it was a valid one.
"I can't believe what that bastard has done," Bra had said angrily over the phone one night to Pan. It was quite late, in fact, almost midnight.
"Malachi?" Pan asked wearily. At this point, Bra had broken it off with Malachi since he was apparently too dangerous to be around.
"Yes! Who else? He had my hopes up the entire time—he knew exactly what he was doing. He just ignored me and pretended to be way more interested in Machi. Yeah right. Then he just drops this bomb on me: he's been seeing this slut Lilith and now she's pregnant."
"What?" Pan said surprised. "That seems…so unlike him at least what you described about him." At this point, Pan had not really hung out with the actual Malachi other than that time at the karaoke bar when he'd first met Bra, but he'd been in disguise the entire time.
"Can you believe it? You know how long it took for me to fuck that guy and now he just gives it away like it's free candy?"
"Something else must be going on."
"Like what?"
"He's hurting too just like you."
"I am not. I broke it off with him."
"For the past year, you've been bragging about him. He sounds like a really sweet, sensitive guy. It hurts when you break it off with people. You don't just bounce back from that. And isn't he still dealing with Laputa? Like, didn't he have to move far away so that he could regain some sense of normalcy or something like that? I guy like that isn't exactly thinking straight."
"So he ignored me for no reason? I don't even think Laputa is really affecting him as much as he says. I mean, he seemed fine and he's already seeing some other girl."
"Alright," Pan said taking a deep breath. This was going to be a long conversation and she'd first have to get to the bottom of things. Information directly from Bra would already be slanted in her favor. She would have to try and see through this. "How did he ignore you? Did he never make eye contact with you? Did he not acknowledge you when he stepped in the house? No 'Hi, Bra'?"
"No, it wasn't like that. We talked. It's just…" her voice was becoming a bit unsure, struggling how to bend the story in her favor without outright lying. "He seemed so happy to see Machi—I didn't expect that. Like maybe he was overexaggerating."
"Overexaggerating? You've never seen him that excited before?" Pan asked.
"Well…no, I don't know, but definitely not about babies."
"You've seen him react differently to other babies that were his?" Pan asked with a subtle sarcastic tone, but Bra caught on.
"Okay, smart aleck, you know what I mean."
"I don't," Pan said with a chuckle. "Did you ever stop to think that he might be excited about your pregnancy that perhaps he wanted to have a child with you? You realize that Machi is his first born. Everything that's happened since Laputa has been completely out of his control and yet it's the reason you two aren't together anymore. That doesn't mean he's completely done with you emotionally—it just doesn't work like that. I don't see why he wouldn't want to be a part of Machi's life—the real Malachi not the…Laputa version. Did he ever give you the impression that he was upset that you were pregnant?"
"No…" Bra said thoughtfully.
"Then he's the opposite. This was his first meeting, right?"
"Yes," Bra confirmed.
"Alright then. There you go. Doesn't seem out of the ordinary for him to be excited perhaps even more so than usual. If there was any underhandedness in his reaction, maybe it was in trying to convince you that he wanted to be part of Machi's life."
Bra didn't respond immediately and Pan hoped the other was finally able to see a fuller picture of the situation. "I never thought of it that way. He was a natural with her, you know. He said he did a lot of research on babies so that he'd know what to do. Really, it was kind of cute. It made me feel…" her voice had become solemn, but then just like that her anger returned. "That's not what I called you for. He had an affair with another woman and impregnated her in the span of a few months."
"It's perfectly fine for him to see other women if you're not with him anymore and it wouldn't be called an affair."
"Who's side are you on anyway?" Bra growled.
"The side of levelheadedness and fairness."
"What about the pregnancy part? This is Malachi we're talking about."
"I have no idea what was going through his head. My guess is that he's like you—he doesn't do well on his own and he doesn't like it so he tries to fill that gap with someone as soon as possible. Maybe one thing just led to another. What I don't get is why you're so angry if you already broke it off with him? You still care about him, don't you?"
"He should have known, Pan. He should have just known. I want to start over with him, but it's impossible now."
"I'm sorry. I really am. He's fallen for someone else?"
"No," Bra said at once. "He told me he only saw her as a friend."
"Oh, I see…A friend with benefits. I wouldn't say it's impossible then. It'll just be a bit more complicated and it depends on how much you're willing to compromise."
"I don't compromise, Pan."
"Then I think you have your answer."
In the end, she did compromise. She took him back, but not after hearing the news about Lilith's death. Pan couldn't help but wonder if the situation would have been different had Lilith been alive. Still, the entire thing sounded so odd. Knowing what she now knew about Malachi, it sounded even stranger. The looming threat of loneliness must have been a powerful driver for Malachi to the point that he would do things he didn't particularly like just to avoid it. He desperately wanted a friend, likely a female one, and that desperation was never more apparent than with Lilith. She'd taken advantage of him—at the very least, it seemed that way. She'd asked Malachi about Lilith and he seemed to support her suppositions. Perhaps he wasn't the best at choosing friends.
Pan wanted to prevent a repeat of last time. She'd be there for him so that he didn't wound up doing something stupid. It was easy enough for her to do especially since she adored him. Any excuse to be around him more often would do. She held no illusions about their relationship, however. While she thought she'd be perfect for Malachi, he simply did not see her that way. Love couldn't be forced and she knew that he loved Bra even after all of this. She hoped the feeling was still mutual so that she wouldn't have to continue seeing him like this. Even if this split was permanent, it didn't guarantee that she would have a chance with him in the first place. She couldn't bring herself to sabotage whatever he had with Bra; she wouldn't be able to live with herself.
She took out her cellphone after a while not willing to move and disturb his precious sleep. She texted Marron inquiring where she was and if she was on her way. Marron confirmed that she was with a simple response no more than three words long. One would find it difficult to hold a decent conversation with the taciturn woman. The front door was unlocked as far as Pan knew; she hadn't seen Malachi lock it after he let her in. She told Marron to just come in once she got to the place and the security code to get past the gate—one that Jensen had told her.
As it turned out, it was almost an hour later before Marron set foot into the house. She'd come from her boyfriend's place which was a long ways out closer to where Pan lived than Malachi.
"Geez, this guy is filthy rich, isn't he?" Pan heard Marron say as soon as she stepped in. "There's a gate and everything out there."
One thing that could easily put Marron into a good mood was being around expensive things. Pan didn't think it made her shallow, but, at the very least, predictable.
Pan wanted to shout and say she was in the living room, but settled with a text. Soon, Marron made her way to them.
"Not even five seconds and you have that man laying all over you," Marron said teasingly.
"It's not like that," Pan argued at once. "We're just friends and…he's really tired."
"Yeah, yeah," Marron said dismissively as her eyes looked around the place thoroughly examining everything. She made her way to the impressively large flat screen TV. "Man, this TV is razor thin. I bet the picture quality is insane. Of course, rich people get rich things."
"You better not take anything," Pan said as she watched the other run a hand over the edge of the TV.
Marron laughed at this. "Calm down. I'm not that desperate. Yet." She was turned away from Pan as she continued to run her hands over it. "So wake him up already. It's already the afternoon. I didn't come all this way for nothing."
Pan nudged Malachi only a little and he was quickly stirred to wakefulness. Clearly, he hadn't been sleeping all that deeply despite her efforts. It hadn't been that long, but it still concerned her that he looked no less tired than before.
"What?" he asked confusedly. He'd been turned away from her and he must have already seen Marron standing in front of the television.
"Time to get up. Marron's here," Pan said cheerfully.
He sat up slowly, giving her a brief glance.
"I don't think you two have been introduced properly," Pan said just as Marron turned to look at him. "Malachi, this is Marron. And Marron—
"Yeah, I know who he is. Everybody knows who he is," Marron said matter-of-factly. "Now that the introductions are out the way—where in the world did you get this TV?"
"Ugh, Marron, really?" Pan asked wearily.
Malachi shrugged at this. "I have no idea. I had someone else furnish the place."
"Hm, must be nice. Guess you don't know how much it cost you either."
"No, but I could find out."
"Nevermind that," Marron said seemingly already done with the topic. "Let's get going already."
"Sorry, didn't know I'd fall asleep," Malachi said apologetically. "It's going to take me a little bit to get ready—that's if you guys still insist on going somewhere."
"Well…" Pan began slowly.
"No, we are definitely going somewhere. I haven't been out the house in forever," Marron said with crossed arms.
"Well, then that settles it," Malachi said with a sigh.
"I promise it'll be fun," Pan said drawing his eyes to her. "I think it'll be good for you."
"Chin up, superstar," Marron said. "In the grand scheme of things, you have everything to be happy about."
"Right," Malachi replied as he stood. "Well, I'll be back in a few."
And that was that as Pan watched him disappear.
"Can you believe that guy," Marron said as she began to walk slowly around the room touching other paraphernalia. "He looks like his dog just died yet lives in this kind of luxury all day."
"Money isn't everything," Pan said wearily.
"Sure, but it can buy anything. If Bra let him go, then why waste time still thinking about her? I bet she hasn't even spared him a second thought. I don't get why people do that when they break up."
"We can't all turn off our 'relationship' switches at the drop of a dime like you, Marron," Pan said rolling her eyes.
"It's not that. It's just. Why care for someone who doesn't care about you?"
"You know, Marron, I could ask you the same thing."
That shut her up quickly. Anything referring to the dicey situation she was in with her boyfriend had that same affect unless she actually wanted to talk about it. It was private and only Pan knew about it. Not even her parents knew.
"It's not the same," Marron said with a frown.
She was not perturbed for long as her eyes were drawn to the riches that decorated the room. A painting caught her attention and she stood in front of it for a while. Pan decided to drop the subject and instead talk about what they were planning to do that day. Karaoke was a must, but they would go there last. Marron really wanted to check out the national park. She insisted that it would look beautiful at this time of the year, but it was a little ways from here. If they couldn't make it there, Pan suggested a huge new mall that she'd never been to before that they could browse through—not to mention a new soft pretzel joint that was drawing a lot of attention.
They were soon enjoying watching television though they hadn't decided which place to go to. Pan had expected that they'd already be off, but time was growing short. Malachi didn't come out until almost an hour later and he looked quite different. He wore black cargo pants. A zipper went across each knee and he chose to wear them unzipped revealing dark mesh material beneath. Metal spikes decorated the area above and below the zipper. He wore black military styled boots that were loosely tied up and the lid was spread open like a blooming tulip. Though the boots had a faded, used look to them, Pan suspected that it was intentional. His mostly mesh shirt was a bit revealing and showed a good portion of his chest. Five black belts that were buckled across his midsection showed small portions of his abdomen. The light cotton material of his shirt darkened right across the bottom section. The sides of the shirt, the shoulders and back were all covered with the same material, but his sleeves were completely mesh.
Clearly, he was wearing a wig because his hair was lime green, but it seemed to suit his face, at the very least. It was a bit curly, framing his face and fell down to his shoulders, full and voluminous. His eyebrows were still dark along with his eyes though she noticed he was wearing heavy eyeliner. Surrounding his head was a black loose-fitting hood like one might find on some elaborate cloak, but instead this hood was attached to a very tight-fitting partially mesh shirt. He at first wore a very unamused expression, but Marron's shocked reaction was hard to ignore and he soon wore a subtle grin.
"What the hell are you wearing? Are we supposed to take you seriously?" Marron asked.
"I'm in disguise," he said. Pan noticed his voice was a bit lighter than usual. "Might have painted my nails, but that would have taken too long," he said casually as he briefly brought up his hands and observed them with a swift movement of his fingers.
"Wow…I don't think anyone is going to recognize you now," Pan said studying him thoroughly. "Didn't know you were pulling out your douche gothic disguise today," she finished with a laugh.
"Alright, quite gawking. Let's just get this thing over with."
It was hard to stifle her laughter. He'd taken a complete departure from his usual style and only needed a guitar to finish the look. Karaoke would be interesting. For now, they were finally leaving the house. Marron suggested they take Malachi's top down convertible and he had no objections to this. Pan decided to do the driving. Marron sat in the passenger seat after Malachi claimed that he liked having the backseat to himself.
"So where to first?" Pan asked them when she started up the car.
"The national park," Marron said immediately.
"Or the new mall," Pan suggested.
"But it's not like we could buy anything crazy at the mall—at least I can't."
"We've been to that park a dozen times before," Pan argued.
Malachi hadn't said a word as the two discussed once again the pros and cons of the places they chose. This wasn't nearly as planned out as she had wanted it to be and Malachi seemed largely unengaged. When she turned to look back at him, his eyes were closed and he sat back against the seat leaning against the door's interior. She could sense that he wasn't asleep however.
"Where do you want to go?" Pan asked aloud to Malachi.
He was silent for a moment longer before answering. "The park. Been to the mall a lot. Less people to recognize me."
"Hm? Don't want to wound up spending money on us?" Marron asked teasingly. "Of course."
"Marron," Pan said warningly.
"Then the mall," Malachi said before Pan could say anything further. "Less walking. Safer. I heard those pretzels were quite good too."
"You never had them?" Pan asked. "But you've been there before?"
"Never had a mind to. And I'm feeling generous. You ladies can get whatever you want."
"Suddenly, the mall is sounding like a much better venture," Marron said with a grin. "Isn't it, Pan?"
"Oh, stop it," Pan said hitting the other playfully in the arm. "You're being so obvious."
"What would you say to getting me a new TV," Marron said as she turned in her seat to the nonchalant Malachi.
He shrugged in response. "Whatever you want."
Marron tested the waters further. "How about a new TV, a huge grill, and a car?"
"I don't care," he said with a sigh.
"Seriously, Marron?" Pan asked.
"What? The man said he'd get us anything," Marron said with a laugh. "Isn't that right?" she asked to Malachi.
"Right. I hate repeating myself," Malachi said back.
"Think I'm starting to like this guy," Marron said with a full smile now. "Hurry up, already, Pan. Let's go. Daylight's burning!"
Pan sighed exasperatedly as she finally pulled out of the driveway. Marron was right. Time was getting away from them, but that didn't mean she liked how things were turning out.
"Malachi, you know you don't have to do all that for us," Pan said.
"It's not a big deal. Didn't you want some pretzels? Get as many as you like."
"Seriously, Malachi. We're not here to make you spend money on us," Pan said back.
"You're beginning to sound like a broken record," Malachi replied now with some annoyance in his tone. He sat up a little straighter in the seat. "Turn on some music already."
Marron pressed on the radio icon on the flat screen dashboard and immediately turned it to her favorite channel which played all the recent popular music at the time. Then she turned up the volume much further than what Pan had anticipated as a song was already playing.
"I love this song!" Marron shouted over the noise.
Pan had half a mind to turn down the ruckus—it wasn't a song that she particularly liked, but she'd heard it many times. Marron was already singing raucously to it not paying any mind to staying on key. Pan reached her hand out, to touch the volume controls, but stopped when she heard Malachi joining in. He'd leaned forward as well. It was the most animated he'd been since he'd stepped into the car. With a sigh, she simply let it be and then joined in herself. The melody was hard and driving. Clearly it drew its roots from a more country sound, but the words were easy to catch on to. Her hands were clapping, his hands were clapping—they both sang with reckless abandon. At the very least, she enjoyed that they were having fun. It was getting a bit difficult to even pay attention to the road—she might have sped up a little bit in her growing excitement.
"Hold on, hold on!" Marron shouted after the song was over. She turned down the radio as another song started playing. She looked over at Malachi. "Shit, you can really sing. That sounded surprisingly good."
"Thanks," he said modestly though laughing as well.
"Seriously, I always think people are doing stuff to their voices to make them sound better on stage. I mean, it's a big thing now. Everybody does it. A little autotune here, some tweaking there and viola. They got special mics for that kind of stuff. And you know they manipulate people's voices in the studio."
"Well, I've never done that—at least when it isn't absolutely necessary. Listen, that's really me out there singing and that's really me out there dancing—I work damn hard for every gig. I put everything I have out there."
"That's incredible. That's really something," Marron said nodding in acceptance. "I might even start actually listening to your music."
"I would be honored," he said.
Marron went to turn up the volume again, but Malachi stopped her.
"So," he said leaning a bit on Pan's headrest. "What is it you do, Marron?"
"Nothing you need to be concerned with," she said with a grin.
"Any boyfriends? Girlfriends?" Malachi asked.
Pan glanced over at Malachi wondering if such a question was appropriate.
"One boyfriend," Marron said back playfully.
"I see. So you have a job that I don't need to be concerned with and a boyfriend. And that's all I know about you. Aside from being Krillen's daughter."
"That's all you need to know, stranger."
"Oh, I'm a stranger now," he replied in an amused tone.
"Yep. We'll see if that changes by the end of the day."
Malachi reached forward and turned up the music once again. Pan could tell that Marron didn't know this song half as well as the last one, but she was all too willing to sing to it with Malachi. He eventually sat back in the backseat taking advantage of all the space. He didn't bother with a seatbelt as he overdramatically sang out loud. Yes, Pan thought to herself, he would most certainly enjoy karaoke. Pan hadn't been completely sure how much joy he got from singing until that moment.
Though they didn't carry on for the entire ride to the mall—thank goodness!—it did continue for some time. Pan joined in the best she could, but she didn't know nearly as many songs as the other two. She felt a little left out as a result. Despite this, her own anticipation for their destination increased as they got closer. In the last thirty minutes of the ride, they'd all settled down again. Marron was in rare form talking her ear off about what she wanted to get at the mall. Pan was only now growing used to the idea that she could get anything she wanted—she still hadn't figured out just what that was. Pretzels were a must, but anything else, she supposed she would just have to see once she got there. She lived in a small apartment, so she wasn't going to get anything not befitting of such a place. Malachi, on his part had stretched out on the backseat, laying down on his back and perusing through his e-mail. Whenever he found something particularly funny or strange, he'd read it out to them.
"Aren't you glad I dragged you out the house?" Pan asked to Malachi when there was a lull in conversation.
"Too early to tell," he said with a snort. "Depends on how good those pretzels are."
"Well, I'm having a blast," Marron said excitedly, "And all I've done is sit in a car for over an hour. I'm a simple girl with simple wants."
"Yeah, who simply wants a TV, a car, and a grill," Malachi said with a laugh.
"That's the icing on the cake," Marron said back, "But it's nice to get out the house every once in a while."
"Are you a stay-at-home mom or something?" Malachi asked.
"None of your business, stranger," Marron said teasingly.
"We're back to that again?" he asked clearly amused.
"Convince me otherwise," she said grinning.
She winked at Pan after she said this, but Pan wasn't altogether certain what she was doing.
"Maybe I will," he said back.
Marron quickly typed something on her phone and then held it up to Pan's face so that she could read: Just trying to get him more involved. Seems like he likes a challenge. Pan shook her head with a half-smile. In her own way, Pan suppose she was helping, but she was just being her usual, mysterious self who didn't talk about personal things to most people. Pan suspected that she knew more about Marron than anyone else in the world.
Pan was glad when they finally made it to the mall. Marron was quite energetic and Malachi's lukewarm energy was, at least, a little more jovial. Tonight was going to be fun.
