What Once Was (A Steins;Gate 0 Story)

Chapter 54-A Sense Of Familiarity

Disclaimer:I don't own Steins;Gate, only this story...

"What should I do?" Kurisu asked, speaking to the empty air in the room.

Although it was phrased in a manner that suggested she was expecting an answer, she wasn't. She would have accepted one, but there was no one there to provide it. After leaving the café, she had returned to her apartment. She was currently lying on her bed, looking up at the ceiling, with her long crimson hair spread all around her like a fiery halo. She had always seen things from the perspective of someone who believed in science and all things rational. She required scientific proof before she would believe that the event in question was possible.

In this case, though, she had no proof that what she had seen in the café was real. Seeing it with her own eyes would have been enough for her normally, but this situation was so strange, so bizarre, that it wasn't. She couldn't trust her eyes and mind not to be playing tricks on her. No, she needed physical proof, something she could hold in the palm of her hand. Otherwise, there was simply no way that she could accept such a thing was possible. It DID make her wonder, though. Was it possible to have memories of someone you'd never met? If nothing else, it was something that deserved to be added to the list of notes that she kept on her research about memories.

Kurisu knew that the only way she would get the answers she was looking for was if she found Okabe and talked to him. There was one major problem with that, however, since she had no idea where he lived. Looking back on it, she shouldn't have left the way she did.

If she had left in a more sensible manner, then she could have gotten his cell phone number at the very least. Oh well, even if she knew where his place was, he probably wouldn't want to see her after the way she had ran away from him like he was some sort of scary monster that had emerged from under her bed. There was something special between them, or there used to be anyway, and if the feelings she felt when they met were any indication, it was still there.

The next day, Kurisu decided to go back to the café on the off chance that he might be there waiting for her. When she arrived, she sought out the table that they had sat at the day before, finding it to be vacant. She was surprised that it once again seemed to be one of the only tables that had no one at it, but it wasn't like she was complaining. If she sat in the same place as before, maybe it would be easier for him to spot her if he came in.

She waited and waited, getting more and more disappointed the longer she sat there. Before she knew it, it was 3:00 in the evening and she was still alone. She sighed sadly, deciding to face the facts. He wasn't coming. He would have shown up if he wanted to see her again, and no matter how much she wanted to be in denial about it, the truth was that he didn't care.

If you knew nothing about a person but their name and that they visited a place often, wouldn't you keep coming back just in case you saw them again? Her mind was screaming at her that she had blown it and now she would never be able to solve the mystery of her missing memories.

"I've been waiting all day, and as much as I hate to admit it, this is clearly a lost cause." She put her head in her hands, covering her face. "What am I doing with my life?" She said to herself, gloomily.

"I mean I wasted most of the day, hoping I would see some guy that I've only met once! I barely know him, and yet…what is this strange feeling I get when I'm near him? It's hard to explain because I haven't ever felt anything like it before, but it only happens when he's around. I'm not sure why I'm stressing so much over this! I'm probably better off without him, aren't I?" Kurisu ranted, at war with herself. This was a battle of the heart, and her less rational side was slowly gaining the upper hand.

"However, if I take into account the scene that popped into my head yesterday, it would mean accepting the possibility that what I thought I knew was a lie. I MIGHT know him after all, and I just can't…Ugh! Why is this so difficult to understand?" She slumped over in defeat, lying facedown on the table. "So much for my normal life. Oh, who am I kidding, I've always been the odd one out." She chuckled, pathetically. If she couldn't laugh at her own misfortune, then what else was she left with?

"Excuse me, miss. I was instructed by a young gentleman to deliver this message to you the next time you were here." A man informed her. She recognized his voice, identifying him as the manager of the café.

Kurisu raised up almost instantly, snapping out of her funk at this news, at least to some degree. "This 'gentleman' you mentioned just now. What did he look like?" She was fairly certain that there was only one person who would do something like this, but she needed confirmation.

"Well, he was tall, with black hair, and his choice in attire was particularly strange. He was wearing a lab coat, I believe." The manager explained, scratching his chin.

"I see. Thank you very much, sir." Kurisu told him, smiling gratefully.

"You're welcome. Now, if you'll excuse me, I am needed elsewhere." The manager said, handing her the note and moving to another part of the restaurant.

Kurisu was trying her best to remain calm, but on the inside she was excited. The thought of seeing him again, instilled a sense of happiness in her that she hadn't felt in a while. It was like she had been sent back in time to when she was a kid, looking forward to every time she got to go to the candy store.

The small paper in her hands was folded over a few times, and she eagerly unfolded it, the sound of crackling filling her ears. What could possibly be written within? Once she had opened it to see the message, a huge grin spread across her face. The contents of the note had cleared all doubt from her mind. It was the proof she had been searching for, but given up on. Proof that he DID care.

"Thanks, Okabe. This is exactly what I needed."

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Okabe spent most of the next day in bed, lamenting his choices in life. While there were several examples to choose from, the one currently bothering him was the most recent one. It had only occurred yesterday, so the memory was definitely fresh. When she had run out like that, why hadn't he stopped her? Instead of trying to follow her, he had simply sat in that chair, letting the shock of the situation freeze him in place. If he had gone after her, what would have changed?

Would he be with her right now, instead of alone with his misery? There was no use wondering, but it was a hard habit to break. Ever since meeting her the day before, it was like he had been infected by a virus that rapidly took over his brain, until the only thing he could think about was Kurisu. It wasn't long before those thoughts consumed him, showing him a future that he would never have, and leaving him sleepless as well as depressed.

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Meanwhile, in the main room, there was a knock at the door. Daru went to go see who it was, looking through the peephole. He stumbled back in shock, instantly recognizing the woman that was standing outside. It was Makise Kurisu. He was trying his best not to freak out, because to him, this girl was basically a celebrity, at least when it came to the world of science. Daru was about to open the door, but he stopped right before his hand reached the knob. Mayuri had also heard the knock, and she stared at him in confusion.

"What's wrong, Daru? Who's at the door?" She asked, curiously.

"I, uh, don't think that I should do this. I'm not sure what it is, but I've got the strangest feeling that Okarin should be the one to open it. I'll go get him." Daru left the room, heading for the bedroom. Mayuri was left sitting on the couch, and wondering what was going on.

When he made it to the door, he didn't bother knocking, opening the door so quickly that it almost slammed into the wall. "Okarin, I know that this probably isn't the best time, but someone's here to see you. It's Makise Kurisu, you know, that 18-year-old genius girl? I mentioned her to you before, but you might not remember. I'm not sure why she's here, but I'm guessing that it has something to do with what you didn't tell us. You need to go see her, man." Daru told him, before leaving.

"So, she came, after all. He's right, because I'm the only reason she's here in the first place. I left her that note with this address on it, but I didn't think she would actually show up. That was some particularly good thinking on my part, I must say." Okabe got out of the bed, and tried his hardest to make himself appear presentable, before heading towards the main room, as quickly as possible.

Kurisu was starting to think that she had gotten the address wrong, or that he had written it down incorrectly, when the door opened, revealing the very person she was looking for. With the kind of stance that could only have been practiced, and a line that had been rehearsed many times in case anyone new stopped by, a devilish grin spread across Okabe's face.

"Good evening, Kurisu. Welcome to the Lab." He gestured with his arm at the interior, beckoning her inside.

Kurisu laughed at his over the top acting, but she had taken no more than two steps inside when the word 'Lab' began repeating itself in her head, echoing inside her mind. Okabe had no idea that it would have this effect on her, and unfortunately, also on him. It was a struggle to remain on their feet as their knees began to buckle under the weight of all the memories rushing into their minds at once. All the times that she had been here, and all the times that she hadn't, flooded their minds at a speed faster than anyone could reasonably be expected to process. Their brains were never meant to store that much information, but just when they were certain their heads would burst, the flow of images stopped.

Mayuri and Daru were shocked by what they had seen. It was almost like a white light had blinded them for a moment, and by the time that they could see again, Okabe and Kurisu were standing. They were stunned into silence, having never witnessed anything like that before.

Okabe and Kurisu needed to confirm what the other knew, or if they had even experienced the same thing, but there were two major things preventing them from doing so.

"Uh, Okabe? Would you mind if we discussed this somewhere more private?" Kurisu asked, uncomfortable with the way Mayuri and Daru were looking at them.

"No, not at all. I know just the place." Okabe said, closing the front door, and leading her back to the bedroom.

Mayuri and Daru were left alone in the main room, having fainted from the shock.

When they arrived at the bedroom, Okabe closed the door, and took a seat on the bed, inviting Kurisu to join him. Neither one was sure how to begin, but she was the one to speak first.

"So, I guess you can tell that I got your note. I'm sorry that I didn't come sooner, but I didn't think you would want to see me after I left you like that. I was just SO confused, and it's all your fault, you know."

"Kurisu, I'm aware that it's my fault, and I'm sorry. I didn't seek YOU out because I was afraid that you didn't want to see me, either." Okabe sighed, "I suppose it would have been better for us to have never met at all. I didn't mean to come into your life and ruin it for you."

It hurt her to see him looking so dejected, so she had to let him know how she really felt. "Okabe, don't ever say that again! The only way you could ruin my life would be if you left me all alone. I don't see how I could be better off without you, when being with you feels like this. I'm happier than I have been in a while, especially since I…well, we can talk about it all day, but the best way for you to see what I mean is for me to show you." Kurisu decided, scooting closer to him, until they were side by side.

Okabe turned to look at her, and as they stared into each other's eyes, hazel and navy blue respectively, they both felt it. For that moment in time, it was as if their hearts and souls were one, and what came next seemed natural. Their faces were now only inches apart, eyes half-lidded in anticipation of what was to come. It didn't take much for them to close the distance, lips meeting in a display of passion. Her lips were so soft, and he couldn't help but melt into the kiss, as she did the same. It didn't last as long as they wanted, but it couldn't last forever, and when they pulled apart, they were dazed from the intensity of the act.

"You remembered, didn't you?" Kurisu realized happily, "Out of all the times we've kissed, this was the best one, I think. I'll be honest with you, there are so many memories bouncing around in my head right now, that I'm having trouble discerning what's real. That kiss just now, though, there's no doubt in my mind that IT was. Although all those memories are things that have transcended time and space from other worldlines, they prove the one thing I've been questioning this whole time. We DO know each other, and we're meant to be together. After all, if pretty much every other version of ourselves ended up as a couple, then what's stopping us from doing the same?"

"You're right, I remembered everything. I agree with you about us being together as well, since that's the feeling I've been getting ever since I met you." He paused for a minute, thinking hard about what to say next. "I'd like to make it official, even though I know that it's set in stone already. Makise Kurisu, will you be my girlfriend?" Okabe grinned.

"Of course, I will, Okabe!" Kurisu exclaimed, hugging him tightly. He returned the hug before they separated, every bit as happy as she was.

"I realize that you may be wondering why I didn't take it a step further, since we have memories from certain other events too, but I won't propose to you until I get a ring first. Besides, with all that's happened in such a short length of time, this is enough for now, don't you think?" Okabe reasoned.

"I understand, Okabe. I'll hold you to it, though, so you better get me a ring someday soon, all right?" Kurisu replied.

"I will, I promise." Okabe knew that there was one more thing that he had to address before it was all settled, so he continued on.

"By the way, I wouldn't worry about those other memories too much, because I'm sure we'll get used to them eventually. If either one of us starts acting strange, then we'll know that it's because we're getting our memories confused. If that happens, then we'll just have to set the other straight, all right?"

Kurisu didn't respond, because of the exact scenario that he had mentioned a few seconds ago. She examined her left hand for a while, before lifted up her shirt enough for her belly to be barely visible. She managed to tear her gaze away from her body, and looked at Okabe in confusion.

"Okabe, this is going to sound strange, but I'm not pregnant, am I? Also, we're not married, are we? I couldn't find the ring on my finger, so I was wondering what was going on." Kurisu explained, making it obvious that she hadn't heard his warning about getting tricked by their memories.

"No, you're not pregnant that I know of, and we're not married, or engaged." He chuckled, "I saw the memories that you're talking about, and that was from another world. In fact, based on all the memories I've seen so far, that couple has gone farther than any of the others, especially if you include us. It seems that for the most part, every world is the same with slight differences, but in their case, they've managed to create a whole list of brand new memories that exist in no other timelines. My only hope is that one day we can advance as far as they have." Okabe explained, helping Kurisu to snap out of it.

"I understand now, and I feel the same way, Okabe." Kurisu assured with a bright smile, as she laid her head against his side.

Okabe wrapped an arm around her protectively, a smile to rival hers spreading across his face. "We're going to be fine. I'm sure of it." Kurisu hummed in agreement. They were exactly where they were meant to be, which was coincidentally also where they wanted to be.

On that worldline, far removed from Steins;Gate, two people learned secrets about their past that they were never meant to know, and came out of it better than ever before. This wasn't the path Fate had in store for them, but that didn't matter, because it was something even greater. It was one path out of the many that they had chosen, which led them to a future of hope and joy, allowing them to experience the happy ending that everyone deserved. Yes, marriage and possibly a baby or two were coming later on down the line, but there were some things that had to happen before that was possible.