Shirou IX

Who am I?

I asked as we shambled down the shattered stairs leading down from Ryuudou Temple. My legs buckled as we went down step by step, moving away from the clashing sounds erupting from behind us. Assassin's attack on the Golden Servant gave us the brief window of opportunity to escape. Something was off about the new Servant. He was different, yet was the only rational thing here.

Archer, Saber, Rider, I couldn't place it, but their existence was wrong. Illya was right, I couldn't ignore it anymore.

Rin lead the way, pausing only to turn around to make sure I was keeping up. Archer trailed behind, half carrying, half dragging Saber's body along our beaten path. I could feel prana drain from Saber, and cursed myself for not being a better Master.

Who am I? The question came back.

There was a connection between me and the Servants. We were all tied together somehow, and I was just missing something. Why am I doing this? Why am I fighting this war? I wanted to protect this city, to prevent the death of thousands; and I am failing. But is that true?

Rin stopped. She stared behind me, her eyes tracking movement.

I turned around.

Illya.

I tensed up, unsure of what to do next. Her Servant is dead, so she is no longer a Master, but would she still try to fight? We would be too weak to resist her she did. Should we run? Maybe if we attacked first we might be able to win.

But a pang of regret rushed through me. Sadness and loss, the anguish of not being able to save someone, of having to watch helpless to do anything. I knew that feeling, and I know that fear. I smiled. Only one course of action.

"You can come with us if you want," I said.

"What?" Rin said. "Shirou, you can't be serious? She's an enemy Master!"
I nodded, "She's not a Master anymore, Berserker's dead."

Rin grit her teeth, I was right. "She's still a Magus, and can't be trusted. Remember Shirou, Masters can form a contract with other Servants."

"You're a Magus too, and I trust you."

She blushed as the flash of anger roared onto her face. "T-that's not the point!" she stammered. "You can't just trust her."

I stared at her.

"Fine! If you want to take her in then I'm leaving," she said. "I don't trust her enough to maintain our partnership."

My blood boiled, would she really? Why would she be so callous as to do this. I'm doing this because it's the right thing! But I calmed down and began to rationalize, we were weak, and would not survive separately. Rin knew that, she would lose on her own. Illya might actually help us.

I called her bluff.

Rin stared back.

"Allow me to weigh in," Archer said as he faded into existence.

"Archer," Rin cheered, "tell him I'm right."

"I agree with Shirou."

"Y-you too?"

"We are too weak right now, we still have to face Caster and Lancer, Rider may still be alive."

"Hmph, fine, do whatever you want!" Rin stormed down the stairs.

Archer and I shared a knowing glance before he faded backing into spirit mode. I guess that meant yes.

Illya stood at a distance, unsure of what to do next. She shrank away as I walked up the steps of the mountain towards her. Like a scared puppy she shyed away as I neared her. Tears ran down her face and onto her dirty winter coat. She missed Berserker.

I held out my hand to welcome her to the group.

She smiled. The fear and betrayal faded away from her eyes. "Onii-chan."