54. FLARE
Tell me about your wife.
It's not as if he wasn't expecting the request. He's been asked it before, in a room more clinical than this. Yet it's the first time it causes him physical pain. Flares in his chest like a firework. It's his burden, his secret.
He doesn't want her to share it.
But it's no longer his choice.
"I first met Maggie when I was twenty-seven. She was three years younger. I was studying for my doctorate at the time. It was my sister who introduced us. They'd met at some charity function, or whatever it was, and became the closest of friends." He sits back, eyes closed as he remembers those days. Maggie was a ball of energy, drawing everybody in. Burning so bright everything else was dull in comparison.
Everybody else.
Of course he'd been dazzled—who wouldn't be? "When she turned her sights on me, everybody was amazed. Alice most of all, I think. I'd always been the quiet one, the studious loner. When I showed an interest back, they thought I was punching above my weight, that she was slumming it. I guess I probably did, too."
When he leans forward, placing his elbows on his thighs, Bella does the same, unconsciously mirroring him. He breathes, she breathes. He blinks, so does she.
"Looking back, I think I knew, from the beginning, something was off. I wasn't that experienced with women. I'd had a few girlfriends through high school and college, but nothing particularly serious. And Alice...well, she never really behaved like other girls, either."
"Something was off?" Bella reflects his words right back. He's reminded of therapy: white walls, expressionless faces.
"There were times when, while we were dating, Maggie would disappear for a few days. I'd call her frantically, go to her apartment, but she was never there. Then she'd turn back up without a word, as if she'd never been gone."
"Where was she?"
"At the time, I had no idea." He shrugs. "She would never tell me, and after a while I just gave up." He sighs, shaking his head. "All I know is…she wasn't ready for the mask to slip. Not then."
Bella visibly shudders. He has to stop talking for a moment. Collect himself. As hard as it is for him to talk about, it has to be harder for Bella to hear.
"I know I sound weak. I was. Blinded by her beauty, her charisma. I was used to taking things on face value, to believing things were as they appeared. But eventually I cracked, demanded to know where she was, threatened to end it. Maggie begged me not to leave her, to give her another chance. Promised me it was nothing. She kept her word, too. At least for a while. She became more attentive, less distant. Stopped disappearing for days on end. For a few years we were a golden couple. The toast of campus, the apple of our parents' eyes. And Alice's. She basked in the reflected glory, I guess. We all did. Everybody loved spending time with Maggie. Back then she was a different person, too. We were happy. I truly believed it, at the time."
Edward stops again, takes a deep breath, lets it out slowly.
Bella knows there's more to come.
"I was finishing my PhD and she was working in a lawyer's office in the city, so we were both very busy. Whenever we did go out, though, people would stare at her enviously. Men and women. She drew them all in. When we'd been together for five years, it seemed natural we should move in together, but she wanted more. Wanted us to be married first. Of course I agreed."
Who refused Maggie anything? She was a pampered child, an adored adolescent. By the time she reached adulthood, she took worship as her due.
"About three months after our wedding I realized what a grave mistake I'd made."
A/N Hola from Espana.
A few of you have mentioned Rebecca previously in your reviews. There's definitely a nod and a wink to Daphne Du Maurier here. There are some crucial differences too, if you read on.
Next chapter will be posted as soon as I wake up tomorrow.
