For mysteriesabound1
'My Obsession' by Cinema Bizarre
Let us make thousand mistakes,
Cause we will never learn,
You're my obsession,
My fetish, my religion,
My confusion, my confession,
The one I want tonight,
You are my obsession,
The question and conclusion,
You are, you are, you are,
My fetish you are,
What they had shared had never been exactly healthy, and in some deep dark part of his mind he had always known that. They had been the fire that had burned too hot and too bright. Two volatile and combustible elements that would one day explode, the resulting destruction hurting anyone too close to it. They were a matching pair of hot-heads. They were a train wreck just waiting to happen.
He hadn't walked into a church with religion a forethought since his father had died. First one parent and then the other had been taken from him, so even if there was a God how could he be worth believing in. But he would have gotten down on his knees every single day and worship the ground she walked on. She'd dragged him up from the darkness and given him a reason to live again. And in return he had been her rock, the one solid thing that anchored her to real life when her world seemed to fall down around her.
The way he thought of her bordered on obsession, but it hadn't matter because she was equally transfixed by him. They were too intense, people said, too involved, too fixated, too full on. And everyone was waiting with baited breath for the moment they would become just too much.
But they hadn't. The implosion everyone, themselves included, had predicted had never arrived.
Yet he had still known that what they were was something unstable, that would crack and fracture as easily as spun glass. But it was a knowledge that was easy to ignore, and the more time past the easier it became to turn a blind eye to how unhealthy their relationship really was. It had been easy enough when it was just the team looking on, but when it was just the two of them and nothing but the empty road…
That he had made her into an object of passion and dependents that could only result in abject destruction didn't matter. That he had built his whole world around her until everything in his universe revolved around her was something that he didn't have to care about. Even as he made her into his everything, he knew that it was an insane thing to do, but it didn't matter that he needed her more than then air he breathed. None of it mattered because he was also the half that made her whole.
They were insane and crazy and always just one breath taking moment away from falling apart, but it was of no importance because if they were together nothing else counted.
The more time they had spent on their own the less they had seemed to need anyone else. Friends, even family, had almost become an abstract concept, something that they needed to know was there but didn't need to see or even acknowledge all that much. If they had each other then they had all that they could ever want. After all, apart from the two of them, who else, what else, was there?
They had run naked through rainstorms, the water washing them clean like the tears of a god he no longer believed in. Made love on the hood of his car out in the open, under a sky so full of starts that he hadn't even known where to begin counting them. Danced on a deserted beach, the surf lapping at their feet and her laughter, crazy and wild, filling the warm salt scented air. She had lain over him and told him her dreams and her stories and her fears, he was in everyone.
And as he stared at the photo in his hands, the knowledge seeped slowly into him. It flooded his mind with the understanding that even with the passing of time nothing had changed. She was still his all, his everything. What was between them was all consuming, unhealthy in its hunger for acknowledgement and could not be denied.
She was alive and that fact alone was enough. Somewhere she was out there and now that he knew it there was no power that could keep him from tracking her down. Over land and sea, it didn't matter if he had to run halfway around the world to get to her. He would find her, take her in his arms and then never leave her side again.
It had cost him dearly to leave her in the first place. His heart had shattered and splintered as he had crept away from her in the middle of the night, knowing he would never be able to go if she were awake. If he tried she would just turn to him and tell him to stay and he would be powerless to disobey. It was only with the cover of darkness that he had found the strength to walk away, his soul shredding a little more with each step.
He had planned on a separation of a few months, half a year at most, just enough time to get the cops off of his back and give them room to breathe. And even that had been hard enough for him to deal with, but when news of her supposed death had reached him…
Even now, knowing that it wasn't true and that she wasn't forever lost to him, it was impossible to describe how he had felt when hearing his sister's words. Suddenly the world had been spinning crazily, everything was wild and out of control with him at the centre of it all. One point of perfect stillness, frozen in place, unmoving and hardly breathing. The world had ended and yet he still lived, he hadn't been able to comprehend how such a thing was possible.
Being with her had been like flying, and losing her had turned that flight into a free fall. He could see the ground, all jagged rocks and shattered stones, rushing up to meet him and known that there was nothing he could do to prevent the crushing impact. Not a damn thing because someone had stolen his wings, burned them to ashes without a second thought.
Yet here he was suddenly being given a second chance and she was rising like a phoenix from the ashes. And it was as if the world had relined, once again he had a purpose, a reason. Like the wildly spinning needle on a compass that suddenly finds true north he knew the direction he had to go.
He used to be half of the whole that was the two of them, until they had been ripped apart. But now somewhere out there she was just waiting for him, all he had to go was go out and find her. All he had to do was find her and then they would both be whole again.
(A/N) Sorry for the long wait guys, it's all normal crap, life and laziness and losing my muse, there will be updates I just can't say when. All that being said I stumbled across this song on YouTube and my imagination kind of went wild. Hope you like it.
Lamanth xx
