Authors Note: A familiar face rejoins the team this chapter, and Shepard has to face her fears...and control her temper!

A big thank you to VorchaGirl, for the shout out on Tumblr, about 'Against the Odds'. It was really moving to see, and totally made my day!

Thanks to Impslave, for Beta'ing and VorchaGirl and JediZelda for the reviews last chapter.

Enjoy!

Chapter Forty-Nine

The last two weeks had gone by in a rush of activity.

Their new prothean crew member's name turned out to be Javik, and he was a surly, grumbling thing. Liara pestered him endlessly with questions about his time, and he just sniffed at her disdainfully, and muttered about 'primitives'. He seemed to be able to read feelings, and emotions throughout certain parts of the ship, almost as though he was reading snatches of the peoples lives.

It was disconcerting, and fascinating at the same time. Shepard had though Kaidan was going to die from embarrassment when she, he and Javik were discussing what he could sense, or feel, and he told them he knew they were 'joined' because he could smell their pheromones.

It had been a bit of an 'ick' moment for Shepard as well.

Shepard and various members of the team had gone and cleared out all the Cerberus cells they could find, and re-took them for the Alliance. She had headed back to the Citadel, and helped out a bunch of people there. Found a cure for some turian poison, helped another N7 agent, rescued a bunch of Elcor off Dekkuna, and visited Grunt, who was hating every minute of his stay in Huerta.

And they ran into Jacob Taylor. Shepard had finally taken Kaidan and Garrus out together, to make sure they would both play nice. They had gone to investigate some ex-Cerberus scientists, who had been found out and needed help staying out of the Illusive Man's clutches.

Jacob and his girlfriend, the head scientist, were in charge when she arrived. Needless to say, it wasn't exactly a warm reunion. But she helped make sure he was away from the Illusive Man, and they had provided Hackett with some serious help for the Crucible. All the scientists had headed straight there to help, after Shepard pulled their asses from the fire.

Now she stood in her dress blues, resisting the urge to tap her fingers impatiently on the console in front of her, which she waited for the quarian admirals to arrive.

The Migrant Fleet had sent word to Hackett that they wanted to aid in the war effort. So Shepard was here to play diplomat, and find out what they wanted in exchange. Nobody in this damn galaxy seemed willing to offer up their help without a catch.

The door opened, and she straightened her back as Admiral Raan stepped into the war room.

"Commander Shepard. A pleasure to see you again, though, I wish it were under better circumstances." Raan said smoothly as three other Admirals filtered into the room behind her.

Shepard, nodded at her, then cut to the chase. "I'd hoped for your support in the fight against the Reapers; and yet it has been months, and this is the first we've heard from you. What's going on?"

Admiral Gerrel, another face she remembered from Tali's trial, and not one she thought of kindly, stepped forward. "Seventeen days ago, with precision strikes on four geth systems, the quarians initiated the war to retake our homeworld."

Shepard stared at him, years of practice made her able to keep the shock off her face. He can't be serious. The quarians could not be that stupid.

Admiral Koris stepped forward, and by his body language, he was pissed. "Which was a clear violation of our agreement with the Council to avoid provoking the geth!"

Before Shepard could speak, Admiral Xen spoke out as well. "A treaty violation is nothing compared to recovering our homeworld and the advanced AI technology!"

Swallowing down her temper, Shepard ground out. "Wait. You are trying to take back Rannoch? Now?"

Admiral Raan nodded. "Correct, Commander. Three hundred years ago, we lost our world to our own A.I creations, the geth."

Koris cut across her furiously. "After we attempted to kill them!"

Xen scoffed at him. "We didn't try to kill them, Koris. We tried to deactivate them. It wasn't murder."

Shepard resisted the urge to smack her down, thinking of Legion. Instead she eyed her coldly, and the smaller quarian, shank before her gaze. "No. It was murder." Shepard's voice was quiet, but the menace in her tone made everyone in the room pause and eye her warily.

Raan stepped in to avoid a confrontation. "Commander, the quarians never intended to create a true AI. It was an accident."

"Ohh! An accident! Which you chose to correct by trying to kill them." Shepard sneered at her. Raan, Xen and Gerrel exchanged looks, but remained silent.

Koris threw his hands up in disgust and turned to Shepard. "Don't bother! Getting them to admit the quarians were wrong would undercut the justification for this suicidal plan." He spat.

Shepard planted her hands on the console in the center of the war room. "You're throwing yourselves at the geth. Again. Now? Why?"

Koris hissed. "Oh yes. And this time, we may have destroyed our people for good!"

Gerrel stepped forward, and if Shepard could see through his faceplate, she would bet the Normandy that the look he shot Koris was filthy. Gerrel punched a few commands into the war room console, images of Rannoch and the quarian flotilla appeared. "We'd driven the geth back to the home system when this signal began broadcasting to all geth ships."

Shepard recognized the signal immediately. She swore softly. "The Reapers."

Gerrel crossed his arms and looked at the images in front of them. "Under Reaper control, the geth are significantly more effective. Our fleet is pinned in the home system. If we're going to win-"

"Win?! You insisted on involving the civilian ships, Admiral Gerrel! We need to retreat or we'll lose the liveships!" Koris howled.

Shepard looked at the Admirals gathered in the room with disbelief. "You attacked the geth…and brought your civilian ships with you? The ones with your families and children on them?"

Again she was met with silence, while Koris shook with anger beside her.

For a moment, Shepard considered ordering them away. How could she possibly help people so stupid? But she thought of Tali, and the families that were now at risk because of the decisions of these few.

"Where is the signal coming from?" She spat.

Gerrel hurriedly punched a command into the console. "Here. A geth dreadnaught. It can outgun anything we've got, and its heavily defended."

"The Normandy's stealth drive can get us in undetected. I could board, then disable the Reaper command signal."

Xen nodded. "Yes. Cutting off the signal should throw the geth into complete disarray."

Shepard leveled Raan, Gerrel and Xen with a hard look. Raan flinched. "And while they're confused, you will get to a mass relay, and retreat." Her voice could have cooled the room by ten degrees. "I will not risk the lives of my people, to further this idiocy."

"Good. Our civilian ships have seen too much fighting already. Are you certain you can disable the signal?" Koris asked, his relief showing in the slump of his shoulders.

Gerrel stepped forward, as though to argue, but Raan clamped a hand tightly on his arm, and Shepard ignored them, keeping her focus on Koris.

"We'll get you out of there safely, Admiral." Shepard assured him.

Raan turned and gestured to the door. "Our newest admiral has also volunteered to offer technical expertise…" The door opened, and a familiar purple-suited quarian stepped through.

"Tali'Zorah vas Normandy, reporting for duty." Tali said, and paused at the top of the stairs.

Shepard's face split into a grin. "Wondered when you were going to show up. Glad you could make it, Tali."

Shepard gazed around the room. "Admirals, I'll ready a team to hit the dreadnaught."

Raan inclined her head. "Thank you, Commander."

She nodded, and headed out of the war room, snagging Tali's arm as she went. "Admiral?"

Tali shrugged. "It's mostly a formality. I'm an expert on the geth."

"That you are." Shepard smiled at her.

Tali sighed, and moved into the small meeting room to gaze out the window at the stars. "I'm glad you're here, Shepard."

Shepard leaned her back against the glass wall, and crossed her arms beneath her breasts. "If I had known it was this bad, I would have come sooner."

"You've had your own troubles. Shepard…I'm sorry about Earth." Tali whispered, and Shepard nodded, not wanting to speak about Earth and burning children. "We've got the largest fleet in the galaxy. If you can help us, we'll hit the Reapers with everything we've got." Tali's hands clenched into fists on the windowsill. "…Or however much is left after this stupid war."

Shepard bit down her acerbic reply. When she had first met Tali, the young Quarian would have done anything to get Rannoch back…but after everything they'd seen… "I thought you'd support the invasion." She said softly to Tali's back.

Her friend sighed, and shook her head. "No. After talking to Legion, I thought maybe there was a chance for peace."

"So why help them? Xen and Gerrel?"

"I'm an Admiral now. People look to me for guidance. Public disagreement would divide the fleet."

Shepard snorted. "C'mon, Tali. People look to me for guidance all the time, and I don't give a fuck about public disagreement. I try to do what is right. And this war is not right."

Her friend just looked down, and wrung her hands together, like she used to years ago when she was feeling overwhelmed. Shepard sighed, and pulled her into a hug. "I'll help you get your people out of here safely, Tali."

The small quarian's arms tightened around her, and Shepard thought she heard a sniffle. "Thanks, Shepard." Tali pulled away, and straightened herself up. In seconds, she looked every inch a quarian admiral. Shepard was proud of her. "Just so you know, I need to keep things strictly business in front of the admirals. Let's talk somewhere private later, okay?"

"Sure thing, Tali. Feel free to check out the ship, there are definitely some people here that would want to say hi."

Tali nodded, and throwing her shoulders back, headed back into the war room.

Shepard headed out to get Kaidan. If she was heading onto a ship full of geth, it was far better to have two people who could hack…and his biotics would come in handy. She was also bringing Garrus, she was going to need the extra firepower. Seventeen million quarian lives were riding on her.

00oo00oo00

Shepard stood behind Joker's chair on the bridge, already in her armour. "We're approaching the quarian home system. ETA to Rannoch, five minutes." He said over his shoulder to her.

"What have you gotten from the comm buoys?"

Joker scrolled through a few screens and grimaced. "Pretty much a big ol' shitstorm, Shepard."

Shepard snorted. Helpful.

"I have detected a couple hundred unique ship signatures engaged in active combat." EDI chimed from the co-pilots seat.

Joker scrubbed a hand across his face. "Yeah…Like I said."

Well, it wasn't going to get any better than it was now. "Take us in, Joker."

He cracked his knuckles, and put his hands on the controls. "Stealth drive is engaged. The only way they'll detect us is if you all start singing the Russian national anthem." He teased, and she rolled her eyes at him. Trust Joker to make obscure references from ancient movies at a time like this.

Snapping her helmet on, she made her way down to meet with Tali, Garrus and Kaidan. Kaidan and Garrus were already waiting by the airlock, and Tali followed her in hurriedly.

"Alright. Once we are aboard, we find whatever is broadcasting the Reaper signal and shut it down. As Tali is our expert on geth software, she'll be handling most of the hacking and security, with Kaidan to back her up."

"Good to see you again, Tali." Kaidan reached out and shook her hand warmly.

"You, too, Kaidan. How's the omni-tool? Still using the Logic Arrest?"

"Hey, it's still the best model." He said, crossing his arms over his chest.

Tali shook her head at him. "Not for using multiple attack processes simultaneously. You need a Nexus."

"Pfft! Nexus shield enhancements are years behind the curve!" Kaidan argued, and Shepard swivelled her head back and forth between them, while Garrus shook his head.

Tali tutted. "That's why you overclock the microframe."

"Huh…" Kaidan said, his face lighting up at the thought of tinkering with his amp for more power. Shepard stepped in, patting him on the arm.

"Okay, you two. You can nerd it out later. Garrus, you and I are going to be laying cover for these two. You're on Kaidan, and I'm on Tali."

Garrus nodded, and gave Tali a hug. "Good to have you back, Tali. With another dextro on board, maybe they'll finally get some better turian food."

"As long as it's sterilized." She quipped, patting Garrus' massive arm.

"Liara did get me some dextro-amino chocolates. You're welcome to them, once were back."

Shepard's head whipped around to face Garrus so fast her neck cracked.

"Liara got you turian chocolate?" Tali said, and Shepard could tell she was fighting off a giggle.

Garrus cocked his head at her, obviously confused. "She said she saw it, and thought of me. Why?"

"Oh, nothing." Tali trilled, and moved towards the door.

Kaidan thumped Garrus on the back and moved in behind her, while Shepard battled off a fit of giggles.

Liara and Garrus sitting in a tree. I… She cut herself off and jogged forward to catch up with everyone else.

They hit the other side of the airlock, to cross to the dreadnaught and EDI spoke over the comms. "Shepard, there is a problem. All the tubes except one, are physically secured."

Joker's voice joined hers. His tone was worried. "I see the free one… It's pretty torn up, Shepard."

"Thanks. It's too risky for the whole team. I'll secure the docking area, then everyone else can follow me over." Shepard ordered, and swallowed nervously. If Joker thought the tube was bad, it would be bad.

"Roger that, Commander. We'll just stay here…you know…quietly." Joker snarked, obviously not too happy at having the Normandy clinging onto the side of a massive dreadnaught in the middle of a war.

"Hang tight, Joker." Shepard teased, and the pilot groaned.

"Lame, Commander…Lame."

Everyone activated their magboots, and Shepard punched the code on the door. It slid open to reveal the docking tube, and the air left Shepard's lungs in a whoosh.

The tube stretched before them, massive holes torn through it, leaving it open to space. In order to get across she would have to traverse the gashes and tears…and pray it held together. If it didn't, she would once more be sent spinning into the icy abyss of space.

"Shepard…Maybe I should be the one to go across." Garrus said softly, moving up beside her. Shepard looked up at him, and knew he could see the fear in her eyes. He had been there through nightmares of getting spaced…been there where she tried to claw her own helmet off on Alchera.

A small part of her screamed to let him go, to keep her boots planted firmly on the ship. The rest of her knew if she didn't go, her fear would continue to grow, crippling her in the long run.

She shook her head. "Shepard, maybe he's right." Kaidan said softly.

She looked at him, saw the concern in his warm amber eyes. "It has to be me. If it goes wrong, I will need you and Garrus to get Tali through the dreadnaught. And we can't risk you, Tali. If I don't do this, I will always be afraid. I'll be okay." She said softly, her eyes staying locked on Kaidan's.

"Shepard…" He said it quietly, through their private comm channel this time. His eyes showed he was worried for her, showed the battle he was having about knowing she was right about the fear, and knowing what it would cost her to go out there alone.

"If the worst happens, I'll disconnect the boots, and Joker can send Cortez to pick me up. This time the Normandy is fine. This time, I'll have enough air to wait for a pick-up. I'll get through this, and every time after this will be easier. Trust me."

His eyes tracked her for a second longer, then he closed them. "You know I do. Just be safe, and remember that I love you, and will kick your ass if you don't get back here to me." He switched back to the team comm.

"Okay. We'll be in radio contact the whole time. Keep talking to us." Kaidan said softly, and her heart swelled. Gods, she loved this man.

Garrus stepped back, and Shepard stepped out into the tube, the airlock sealing behind her.

Her breath was harsh and ragged in her ears as she moved a few steps forward. She navigated the first massive hole, and saw the damage to the tube was far more extensive than it looked from the airlock. In several spots, only one piece of metal was holding it together.

"Fuck." She whispered.

"Everything okay, Shepard?" Kaidan asked, and she could hear the concern in his voice.

"Yeah. Things are a little rougher out here than it looked."

"Take your time, and watch where you step. You'll get through." He assured her, and she nodded, even though he couldn't see.

Taking a few more steps forward, she came to a massive tear, and through it, got a perfect view of Rannoch. "Wow…Tali, you should see the view."

"Rannoch…is it beautiful?" Tali's voiced was hushed, and Shepard wished her friend could see what she was seeing.

"Yup. Beautiful. Get Joker to run you my suit feed when we are finished, and you can see for yourself."

"Thank you, Shepard."

Navigating her way around the massive hole, Shepard continued making her cautious way forward. She moved for a few minutes with only the sound of her breathing for company, then Kaidan spoke softly into the comm.

"How are you doing, Shepard?"

"The lack of gravity is definitely a little disorienting."

"Don't worry, once you are on the dreadnaught, you will be back in artificial gravity."

"Yeah…until then I'll just have to trust my mag-boots…you know, the only things keeping my ass from getting spaced…again." She quipped, knowing it was a bad joke, but needing something light to take the ill feeling in her guts away.

Joker snorted, and came through the comm. "Hey, just take your time Shepard. We're fine until they, you know…look out a window." He snarked, and she could hear he was feeling a little stressed at just hanging the Normandy out in the open.

"Geth don't use windows, remember? Structural weakness." She jabbed, reminding him of when Legion had casually informed them of that fact last year.

"Ha!" Joker scoffed. "Like the geth are just sitting there saying, 'Those organics would never try the no windows thing twice!'"

Shepard laughed, and Kaidan said, "What am I missing here?"

"Long story, Major. We'll fill you in later." Garrus drawled.

Still chucking to herself, Shepard saw the end of the docking tube. She was almost to the connection for the airlock into the dreadnaught.

"Okay, I am-" She cut off with a shriek as the tube gave way underneath her. She had one mag boot still attached to it, the other lifted to step onto the airlock. She was locked onto the piece of wreckage as it began to drift away into space.

Panic gripped her as she watched the space between her and the airlock grow larger, and larger. Without really thinking about it, her training kicked in.

She deactivated her mag boots and pushed off of the tube, she drifted weightlessly towards the tube, and she forced the sickening memories of spinning away into pace out of her mind. As she got closer to the airlock, she re-activated her mag-boots, and she was pulled down, her feet locking onto the floor of the airlock.

"Shepard! Talk to me! What's happening!" Kaidan's voice was frantic in her ears. She realised she was making whimpering sounds, and forced herself to stop, to take a deep breath.

"It's okay. I'm okay."

"What happened?" All three of them asked her at the same time, almost immediately followed by Joker's "That was wild, Shepard! Are you alright?"

"Yeah. The docking tube broke away just as I reached the airlock. I disconnected my boots and floated over. I am here now, but you guys are going to need a new way across."

"Jesus…" Kaidan muttered, and Shepard could hear the worry in his voice.

She swallowed down her nausea, and took a few deep breaths' to try calm her racing heart. Then she grinned to herself. She had done it. She didn't freak out like on Alchera. She had made it.

"So…I'm guessing you'd rather not solo the dreadnaught?" Joker quipped, and Shepard couldn't help but laugh. Hearing him joke about it, knowing he must be worried lifted some of the stress off of Shepard. She had been through worse. This was something she could do.

"Not if I can help it." She teased. "Tali, get on the dreadnaught schematics. If you can point me to another docking tube, I'll override the controls and let the boarding party on." Once she was finished giving the team their orders, she entered the airlock.

Time to help the others find a way in.

Working with the dreadnaught schematics, Tali directed Shepard into a hull breach, and advised her that there was an undamaged docking tube on the other side.

As Shepard maneuvered through the debris caused from the hole in the hull, Tali explained further the quarians decision to attack the geth. Tali and Koris, the only Admiral Shepard felt any respect for after this shit show, had opposed attacking. The others had been for, and as one of them was the admiral for the heavy fleet…this is where they were now.

Shepard gritted her teeth, and resisted the urge to scold Tali for not fighting harder to protect her people. Politics' aside, it was the wrong decision, and now millions of lives were riding on Shepard and her team.

Again.

She made it to the console that would allow her to open the airlock, and got them through.

"See any action?" Garrus called, while Kaidan and Tali looked at the tech around them in awe.

Shepard snorted. "Nothing. I would have to say they don't know we are here yet."

"Big place…" She heard Kaidan mutter as he climbed the ladder up to her.

Shepard grinned. "I've heard you say that before, Major."

He looked at her in confusion, then blushed and groaned. "Oh, man… That was the day I called you beautiful. It just slipped out and I was mortified. You still terrified me a little at that point."

"Kaidan, you were scared of Shepard?" Tali asked, as she hacked away on some terminal to get more details on where they were going.

Kaidan just shot her a look. "Weren't you when you first met her?"

"Point to Alenko." Garrus chuckled, then hastily cleared his throat as Shepard glared at him.

"Ha! And some of you still are!" Shepard jeered, and nudged Garrus with her elbow while Kaidan and Tali laughed.

"Har har, Shepard. You can be pretty terrifying." Garrus rumbled at her.

She smiled at him, a full powered, beautiful smile, and the big turian blinked as though blinded. "You know I only want to scare the enemy, Garrus. You should be safe."

"With a smile that like, we all need to watch out. That thing is deadly." Kaidan quipped, and he and Garrus howled with laughter.

"Alright, I am through." Tali called, and the trio joined her at the console.

They moved through a few levels of the ship, then Tali came to another console, and after reading the info on it, groaned.

"What's up." Shepard asked, leaving Kaidan and Garrus watching the exits.

"Well, I found the path to the operations center. From there we can disable the Reaper signal."

"Okay…what's the bad news?"

"It takes us past their defense network and through a sensor cluster…which means vents. Gah, always the vents." Tali hissed the last in frustration.

"You did fine at the Collector base!"

The small quarian whirled to face her, her body language screaming her outrage. "I was almost set on fire!"

"Exactly, Tali! Almost."

Tali slapped a palm against her face plate, and they began to descend.

00oo00oo00

Shepard groaned, and wished desperately for a pain killer. They had been in the dreadnaught for over three hours now, and the geth definitely knew they were there.

They had taken out what felt like thousands of the damn things, and they'd received word that Admiral Koris' ship had been shot down, and crash landed on Rannoch.

They had made their way through the main gun battery, which normally would have sent Garrus into spasms of delight, except for the fact that every time the guns fired, a shockwave followed that killed their shields and knocked them on their asses if they didn't make it to cover.

Once they had made it through that, Kaidan had made them all stop and eat an energy gel, while he tweaked their frazzled shields. They were almost to the drive core now, and that was where Tali had pinpointed the Reaper signal was originating.

Garrus, Kaidan and Shepard leveled their weapons at the door in front of them. At Shepard's nod, Tali punched the command and the door slid open. Shepard moved silently and quickly up the ramp in front of them. They were in the drive core.

The dreadnaughts core was massive, the blue glow glinting off the team's armour, making it shine and glimmer in the cavernous room.

"This is definitely Reaper tech… but where the signal coming from?" Shepard murmured, and Tali executed a command on the console in front of her. The bottom of the drive core dropped out.

Shepard looked up at the scene in front of her in horror. There was a geth strapped into the drive core, held into place by tubes and chains. Flashes of light moving in and out of the tubes into its body. It sagged as though in pain.

It focused in on her immediately. "Shepard-Commander. Help us!"

Shepard voice was rough with her shock. Disbelief and horror filled her face as she looked up at the tortured geth.

"Legion?"