Oh!Oh!We've reached the magic episodes!lol I always watch some part of the episode before I write my oneshots, but with these ones it's so hard not to watch the entire episode!lol Anyway, I posted this a bit earlier than I usually do coz I need to have an early night, my final assessment is tomorrow. (it's a presentation so I'm a nervous wreck right now, the only good thing is that it starts at 9.15 and I'm the second one!phew...) Anyway, wish me luck for tomorrow and I'll "see" you tomorrow night for the Dummy Twins!*yay*
Disclaimer: Own nothing, only a reasonable
Episode 16: The Producers: Niles:"This isn't an infatuation!No, this is deep.I think this might really be it!"
Niles had been behaving strangely for a number of weeks now. It had all started on the day when C.C. had overheard him and Nanny Fine talk in the kitchen. He had hinted at being in love with a woman,someone he thought he had to impress to get her attention,someone he was very serious about. Since that day he had been in the house less often, secretely scheming somewhere with Nanny Fine and it bothered her. She knew that she shouldn't be so concerned with it, but somehow she just couldn't let it go. The thought of him possibly leaving the household altogether was too much to take. Never before had she been faced with the possibility of losing him, she had just taken him for granted. The truth was that she couldn't imagine a life without him. Her every day started at the Sheffields' doorstep, started with him. Sure, she had a morning routine at her penthouse, but she really began to live once that pompous butler tossed her the first zinger.
Once she found out that Niles and Fran had impersonated her and Maxwell to produce a play, C.C. had gotten somewhat paranoid. This woman seemed to be worth a lot to him when he was willing to risk unemployment and charges for her. And so, at the opening night party, she found herself scanning the room for women. She observed his every move, whom he talked to, whom he watched, any woman could be a potential threat. However, she didn't get to analyse her actions until later, when Niles dropped the bombshell. As the after show party was nearing its end and people were beginning to leave the theatre, he had approached her.
"Miss Babcock?"
"Well,I gotta admit you surprised me tonight. You finally pulled off something bigger than your shorts."
It was his answer that completely shocked her, never in her life had she seen him struggling for words.
"Oh yeah? Well you...you're a...you walk like...marry me?"
Her eyes shot up at his question and she began to laugh, she had to, if she wanted to disguise the rapid beating of her heart. His words, completely out of the blue, had completed the puzzle,but a little better than she had hoped for.
"I was jealous and yet all this time it was me...I was jealous." she thought and as everything was beginning to spin out of control she snapped:"I would never marry you." and ran out of the theatre.
She didn't know where she was going and only vaguely registered that it was pouring down, all she knew was that she had to get away from his warm, hopeful glance, the very one she had destroyed with her escape. This couldn't be happening...not to her, not to them.
Since the first day she'd known him they were fighting. She had been taught, no, trained by her mother to patronise servants. They were only the help, not even worth looking at. But Niles was different, had always been different. He was nothing like the simple maids C.C. had had growing up, or the silent, dumb butlers. He was always around,sticking his nose into everyone's business. He knew that she was Maxwell's business partner and yet apart from the formal "Miss Babcock" had never made any attempt to treat her differently. He was rather intelligent, with lively blue eyes, and a wit so sharp it could hurt and amuse. And, thank the lord, he was much quicker than Maxwell. She had admitted all of this years ago to Sara, but it still hadn't changed the fact that they loathed each other. Sure, there was a sexual attraction there...the kind that existed very often between people like them. One minute they'd be at each others throats and the next the room would be charged with sexual tension, the kiss they had shared 3 years ago was the best example for that. But that was normal still, according to the Babcock rulebook. One was allowed to have secret fantasies about the domestics, possibly even live out one or the other, after all, butlers were there to serve. But feelings were out of the question, a taboo never to be broken. And a proposal? No, that was utterly ridiculous. Where would they live, in his room? She chuckled even though she didn't feel like it. The undeniable truth though was that she had been scanning the room for competition...it wasn't just an attraction anymore, her feelings ran deeper and it scared her.
The rain that had been warm to begin with had now soaked her clothes and she found herself shivering, and so she sought refuge at the now deserted theatre. She made her way to the back of the stage where they kept the props and plopped down on a sofa. Taking off her blazer and dragging the pin out of her hair in a harsh movement, she tried to find a solution, but there was none. She couldn't possibly have a relationship with Niles, it would never work out. But she couldn't decline his proposal either...if she declined it, she would have to torture him and then, of that she was certain, he would leave her altogether. Lying down on her side she thought and thought until she fell into an uneasy sleep. At some point she dreamed that someone found her,draped a blanket over her and smoothed her hair but she soon discovered that it hadn't been a dream, when she still felt the light weight of something pressing down on her body. Slowly opening her eyes she immediately saw him. He was sitting on the floor, head resting on his arms on the sofa, looking directly at her.
"I should've known you'd come back here." he said quietly "It would've saved me a trip to your penthouse."
"Why are you here?" she hissed, scrambling to her feet "What part of "no" didn't you understand?"
She hated herself for her cruel words, but her natural instincts had kicked in when she had felt cornered by him again.
"Believe me, I understood every single part of that." he said, still sitting on the floor "It's just your reaction that astounded me. Why are you so upset,Miss Babcock?"
"There's nothing more to say, Niles." she said cooly "Now leave me alone!"
And she walked away to stand as far away from him as possible. Safely hidden in the shadows she allowed her conflicting emotions to take over and the first tear made its way down her cheek. Why wouldn't he go?If he stayed she would have no other choice but to insult him...he'd force her to drive him away.
"Why are you hurting?" he asked softly,getting to his feet "What have I done to cause such agony?"
"Don't be stupid, I'm not hurting!" she spat "I'm just getting fed up with you."
"Are you lying to me or to yourself?" he asked,slowly getting closer "Just look at yourself!Your arms aren't crossed in front of your chest, they're wrapped around your body. You're not angry, you're trying to protect yourself from more pain."
And at that a realisation hit C.C. Maybe true knights didn't wear a shining armour...maybe they wore an invisible one that was so strong that they could keep fighting for their love without feeling any pain.
"You ruined everything." she whispered,her resolve crumbling "You're a servant,Niles, I could never marry you."
To her surprise a small smile had appeared on his handsome face.
"Are you mocking me now?" she hissed angrily.
"No. he replied, perfectly calm "You keep telling me that you can't marry me, yet you never once mentioned not loving me."
"I-I..." she struggled with the words,unable to dash his hopes. "Leicester and Jocelyn." she said and he arched an eyebrow "My sister and her gardner...they thought it would work out, thought it was their true love, but it just ended in heartache."
Throughout her speech his features softened more and more and he inched closer.
"Noel and his maids, he toys with them. I could just play with your feelings, Niles, I could toss you aside if I wanted to." and she stubbornly lifted her chin.
He was so close now that she could see his eyes, see that he knew she was bluffing. She closed her eyes, taking deep breaths and then said,working down a mental list:
"Servants steal, they're beneath Babcocks,they want your money,they break your heart. You don't let men hurt you, C.C. Babcock, you hurt them first."
He carefully wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. She was still hugging herself and so her arms served as a barrier between them, and her elbows dug into his chest but he ignored the pain and still pulled her closer.
"That's your mother talking, C.C., and you know it." he whispered quietly "What happened between your parents doesn't mean it's going to happen to us."
She laughed humorlessly and with a voice devoid of emotion said:" That's because nothing is ever going to happen between us."
"You're so tense." he said, ignoring her remark and instead moved his left hand to gently massage her neck.
But upon his touch he felt her stiffen even more, struggling to remain composed.
"You don't have to be strong all the time, C.C. I know that you trust me on some level, so trust me to hold you."
"I honestly don't think I know how not to be strong." she whispered.
"Of course you do. You might only temporarily have forgotten how." and he soothingly rubbed her back.
After a while she released a shaky breath and lowered her arms and her body instantaneously began to tremble. He strengthened his hold on her and carefully rested a hand on the back of her head to reassure her.
"I was so nervous to tell you about my feelings that I just blurted out the proposal." he explained quietly "I realise my mistake, of course. All I'm asking you is to trust me with your feelings,trust me to be there for you. I don't want you to change, C.C., your fire is among the things I love the most about you,but trust me to be there for you."
She pulled away to look at him,and she knew that she didn't have to say a word, he understood her without.
"I'm scared too." he answered, softly brushing a strand of hair behind her ear "More than you know."
And he tenderly pressed his lips to her right temple, before trailing kisses down to her chin.
"I'm scared that I'm not good enough for you,scared that I'm too old and above all I'm terrified of losing you."
"Why aren't you afraid that I'm going to use all this information against you?" she said, attempting to sound cold.
"Because" he said with a smile, cupping her face "you haven't pushed me away."
He tenderly stroked her cheek one last time before turning around and walking over to the sofa. He took off his jacket and sat down,leaning back his head and closing his eyes, knowing that it was up to her now.
His eyes instantly fluttered open again when, after a while, he heard footsteps approaching him. She stood in front of him, biting her lip, a clear indication of how nervous she was feeling. He gave her a reassuring smile and lifted his right arm invitingly. Once she had sat down next to him, he put his warm jacket around her shoulders and wrapped his arm around her until she rested her head on his chest. They had a long way to go still, but the first step was taken...
