(Days later...)
Tim entered the bullpen, glad to start working again, although there was some palpable tension in his body. How weird was it to be clean again.
'Clean', he thought. 'Now I am the kind of guy who could have gone to rehab because of some drug I haven't been taking willingly.'
Hopefully, it seemed like he wasn't the 'kind of guy' turning into an addict. 'Hopefully', he thought again, grinning ironically.
''Hi, Tim. Tim ?'' the voice repeated.
''Uh ?''
He faced Ziva, smiling.
''It's good to see you back'' she said.
''I was here yesterday.''
''I know.''
''Well, thank you again, Ziva. It's good to be back, too. I think.''
''You think ?''
''It's weird, that's all.''
''What if you just go straight to the point, Tim ?'' Ziva asked, amused. ''It'll make the both of us save time.''
''Let's say I just don't want another birthday in here.''
''I'm sure you don't."
Tim nodded and smiled again, Ziva patting him on the shoulder, and then walked to his desk.
"Don't worry, Tim'' she said, sitting down. I'll stop being too emotional when I greet you.''
''Oh, so you are being emotional ?''
''Ha-ha. Sorry I can't give you more than that. Anyway, as I said, I'll stop soon, I promise. But I can't say the same about Abby.''
''Everyday is a resurrection'' Tim confirmed, chuckling.
He sat down and logged in, silently thinking. He had killed a fake Abby, thinking she was the real one. Then she was finally not dead, but he had killed her anyway...well, kissed her, too...before stealing that key...and killing her. He shrugged and tried clearing his mind, knowing the one he'll be seeing at work was actually the real one. It'd be weird. Really weird at first. He just hoped it would pass.
''Lost in your dreams, already ? It's only 9am, McGee.''
''What do you think of drugs ?'' he asked straight away.
''Drugs ?''
''Yeah, I mean we all say 'In Vino Veritas', so is it the same for...''
''Wait, what is that ?'' Ziva questioned him, grabbing a notepad, ''is it another American idiom ?''
''It's latin, Ziva'' Tim explained, smiling.
''Ducky would love this conversation.''
''It means truth comes out with wine.''
''Well, that is quite understandable...''
''Then should it be the same with drugs ? I mean, if we feel like we want to do things, or even tell them when we have some in our body, do you think that it is because we really want to take these decisions, deep down ?''
''Did you want to kill Rebecca ?''
Ziva. Always so direct.
''I knew I had to'' Tim answered, knowing inside he wasn't thinking of that event.
''Exactly.''
''So ?''
''I think drugs, or even alcohol, can give you the strength and courage you need to say or do things, but that doesn't mean you deeply want them. For example, alcohol can help me talk to someone in order to ask him to have sex with me, something I wouldn't have dared saying while being sober, but that doesn't actually mean I really want to have sex with him. It simply makes me braver to do anything.''
''I understand, now.''
''But again, that's just an example'' Ziva specified.
"You don't need alcohol to ask such thing, right ?''
''DiNozzo would have loved that conversation'' the female NCIS agent confirmed, grinning, crossing both arms behind her head.
''Yeah.''
''Whatever your question is,'' the woman continued and finished, sitting up, ''ask it to yourself again when you are sober. It'll provide you the answer you need.''
''Alright. Thanks, Ziva.''
''My pleasure, Tim.''
— — — — — — — — — —
''So we have a new BOLO on this man, Clayton Pinter, I finally got his name after days of research in the system, it is such a relief ! I mean, not that this guy is still alive, obviously this is a shame that this guy can still be free after all that he's done, but...''
Tim didn't really listen to everything she was saying, Abby definitely speaking too fast, as usual, her mouth sharing words when not sucking an umpteenth sip of her precious Caf-Pow...
''Did I already tell you how much I was glad to see you back, Timmy ?!" she asked in the middle of her speech, dramatically.
"Three times, today'' Tim answered, smiling.
''And how much I was sorry for...''
''Four times, yes. And this wasn't your fault.''
Abby miraculously seemed to slow down and relaxed for a minute. It was only when she was feeling sad.
''Still...'' she said. ''I'm sorry for what happened. For everything, Timmy.''
''I know. Thanks. Abby...'' he added, all of a sudden.
''Yeah, Tim ?''
''I...''
He deeply stared at her, numerous pictures of life events running through his mind.
''Are you okay ?'' she asked, worried.
''No...yes. I don't know, actually.''
No, that was too weird.
''Earth to Tim, are you alright ?'' the woman insisted.
No. Something was definitely missing.
''Do you know where is Gibbs?'' he suddenly pronounced.
''I think he should be back soon from...''
''I'm coming back, Abbs.''
— — — — — — — — — —
Tim finally found Gibbs behind his desk, working on the current case.
''Anything new with Abby ?'' he asked, starting the conversation.
''Yeah...no. I don't know, actually.''
"You don't know ? Are you alright, Tim ?''
''Can we talk, boss ?'' he asked straight away, feeling a bit impatient, if not nervous.
''Now ?''
''Yes. Can we talk in your office ?'' he said.
''My office ?'' Gibbs kept asking, strangely staring at the desk he was currently sitting next to.
''I mean...your office...you know.''
Gibbs' eyebrows suddenly slightly furrowed, the man now understanding.
A minute later, they were both prisoners of the dark silver cage, both men still not believing McGee had been the one entering it willingly.
''What's wrong, Tim ?'' Jethro finally asked, neutral.
''I want you to talk to Tony.''
''We've already talked'' Gibbs retorted immediately, calmly sighing.
''No, I mean...I want you to apologize to him'' Tim said straight away, now expectedly waiting for a death sentence.
Jethro's eyes confirmed his thought.
''I beg your pardon, McGee...?'' Gibbs asked and stared at him, visibly more than shocked.
''Listen, I've thought about it...''
''About what ?'' Jethro seemed to seriously wonder, now terribly calm.
''I weird, not...'complete'. God, I don't know how to say it... Boss, truth is that I focused on Tony getting back to NCIS, but I was wrong, and selfish, making of it all a story about me. I don't care if Tony decides or not to go back to NCIS, I just...I just want him to know that you're sorry. That's the only way for him to turn the page...with or without us. Boss,'' he added, quick as a flash, as if to avoid immediate revenge from him, ''there's too much anger in Tony. Too much pain... And I can definitely tell, because I haven't felt that much anger in my entire life until that previous case we've all been through.''
''Alright, that's enough, let's get out of here'' Gibbs reacted, now being the one about to start the elevator again.
"Wait, boss'' Tim exclaimed and insisted, not believing the words he was about to say. ''You...you don't get it.''
''Oh really, Tim ? Then what ? What is it that I don't get, uh ?''
''I want you to apologize to Tony. Otherwise...''
''Otherwise what, McGee !''
''Otherwise there'll be another agent leaving the team.''
Jethro now really got closer to Tim, confronting him with his crazy blue eyes.
''Is it blackmail, McGee ?'' he slowly questioned him, angry as hell.
Tim painfully swallowed, as if a heavy stone had just fell down his throat, feeling his cheeks about to burn. He deeply breathed in and out, secretly begging for air.
''Yes. It is, boss.''
