Welp, I am just wrapping things up now. I am posting these chapters so close together because the first chapter was posted on Jan 5th 2017 and I am fitting it in so the last chapter will also go up on the 5th. THE DATES HAVE TO MATCH. I am a bit OCD like that. ANYWAY HAVE FUN PEEEEEPS.
NOVALIE
The day was here. I was finally being discharged. Levi was waiting at the front door of the hospital for me. I still ached all over, but I really didn't care. I just wanted to go home. I struggled to do anything, and completely gave up on my harness. It wasn't like I was going to be able to use ODM anyway… Buttons, laces, anything remotely fiddly, was incredibly difficult with one hand. I took about twenty minutes just to get dressed, and I refused help from the nurses. I would have to learn to live with one arm. I also kept reaching for things and wondering why my arm wouldn't respond. It often felt as if I still had it.
I stared out of the window of the carriage for the entire long journey back. Erwin was standing at the front gate waiting for me. It was like the day I clambered up this hill to join the Scouts all over again, although this time it was plus one person and minus one arm. Levi and I wordlessly reached the commander.
'Welcome back Novalie,' he nodded happily, leading us through the gates. I was allowed my old room back, since it had been left empty. It was still pretty bare when I moved in however, because my belongings had got thrown away when I "died". The only things I had were the clothes on my back and my spoon. After all this time, I still had my spoon. I almost faced the gallows with it.
Erwin told me I had today to get used to being back, and tomorrow morning he would discuss my duties. I spent a while just sitting in my room at my desk, trying to take in the fact that I was here… It had almost been a year. The familiarity of my humble little space was a comfort, and my recollection of it a year ago was hazy, like I was looking at it behind warped glass. Probably because I was virtually empty on the inside back then. I never thought about it, I never had an opinion on it, but now I just associated it with good memories.
There was a rap at the door. 'Come in.'
The door opened and revealed Levi, who was leaning against the door frame. He wandered in and scanned the room. 'Last time I saw this room… They were locking it up.'
I said nothing.
'Feels weird… Seeing you in it again.'
'It feels weird being in it again,' I replied. 'Anyway, I have somewhere I have to go…' I stood up and took a deep breath. This was going to be hard… I glanced up and saw that Levi had picked up on this.
'Where are you going?'
'To see Grace's parents,' I almost whispered.
He blinked at me. '…Why?'
'Her body was never recovered, and her head was cremated. They deserve to know how brave she was…' I trailed off. I had never met someone so innocent yet wise as Grace, and so blindingly compassionate. I bit my lip, tears threatening to spill from my eyes. Levi's eyes softened.
'Want me to come?'
'I'll be fine,' I shrugged. 'I'm sure you have things to do.'
'Yep, paperwork up to my goddamn eyeballs,' he grumbled. I nodded and wriggled my arm into my jacket, pulling it over my other shoulder. It slipped a bit, which annoyed the hell out of Levi as soon as he saw it. I found it quite amusing.
'See you later,' I said, skirting around him. As I made for the door, I saw him reach over in my periphery and pull my jacket up on my shoulder.
I knew he wouldn't be able to resist.
I knew where Grace lived, it was in the local town. She had pointed it out to me once. I rapped on the door, my stomach suddenly twisting in knots and a sweat breaking out on my forehead. An older woman opened it. She was a small woman, almost as small as me.
She looked me up and down. 'Hello?'
'My name is Novalie,' I began. 'I hav-'
'Come in, come in,' she stepped aside and waved her hand, suddenly a lot less wary of me than she had been. I stepped inside in mild confusion. The house was small and dingy, a fire roaring in the hearth. An old man was slumped in a rocking chair next to the flame, rocking back and forth rythmically. He stared into nothingness. His eyes looked dead.
'We have heard about you Novalie,' the woman said, motioning for me to sit down. She sat down heavily on a stool by the fire.
'You have?' I reluctantly perched on the edge of an armchair.
'Grace told us a lot about you,' she smiled sadly. 'Hasn't she Fords?' The woman turned to the man in the armchair.
'…Yeah…' His voice was broken and weak. My heart sank. I could almost FEEL his devastation like an aura.
I met Grace's Mother's gaze. 'It's hard… For both of us… She was our little girl, you know?' She used her sleeve to wipe at her eyes.
'It is hard for me, too,' I said. 'I saw… I saw what happened…'
The woman's mouth opened a little with a gasp. 'We never knew what happened… All we got…' She broke down in tears. '…Was her head…'
'She died protecting her patients,' I said, trying to steady my voice. 'She never left their side.'
With that, Fords lifted his head and turned to me with his empty eyes. 'You saw her die?' He rasped. I nodded.
'You are a Scout… Why did you not help her?' I felt pinned under his scrutinising gaze.
'Fords, please,' the woman pleaded, but weakly. She was probably silently wondering the same thing.
'I was too injured to move,' I replied, casting my eyes down to my lap. Fords rested his head back without another word. Silence filled the room and the fire crackled.
'My name is Georgi, by the way,' Grace's mother said.
I swallowed, hard, and nodded. The atmosphere in the room was horrific. 'I just wanted to tell you how much of a good person she was…' I was really struggling now to keep myself audible. 'She did not die in vain.'
Georgi sniffed. 'Thank you Novalie. She had a lot of respect for you, you know, and you have ours too.'
I stood. 'I should probably leave you in peace, thank you both.' Georgi got up herself and bustled to the door.
'Novalie…' She stopped me as I went to leave. The cold wind blew in through the open door and stung my face. 'My husband… He is dying… Ever since our Gracie, he has just withered away.' Her eyes glittered, almost begging; I didn't know what to say.
'Well…' I said slowly, wondering why on earth she was telling me this. 'I certainly know how that feels. Although, I have noticed, through all I have seen, life's beauty still shone through. Life is not all dark… You have to find the light.'
Her face lit up. 'I will tell him that.'
'You do that. Goodbye Georgi,' I nodded to her and she waved as I left. Sadness hit me as the icy wind did as I walked away, and I sucked in a long breath. Keep it together. Her Father was dying… Of pure heartbreak… He simply refused to live now that his daughter was gone. I saw the look in his eyes, although he may physically be breathing, he was already dead on the inside. The last part of willpower had crumbled to dust. Whether he can be brought back to life, I do not know, and maybe once I would have said no, he can't. The truth is… After I was "fixed", I really can't tell who can and can't be mended mentally. I barely understand it myself. The mind is infinitely complicated, almost as if everyone's is totally unique and doesn't have any pattern between anyone elses. The only two minds I really understood were my own and Levi's, and we were already similar.
Grace's words were the wisest. They were so simple yet they meant so much to me, and they sparked a fire that had long since gone out in me. Levi was left to make it flare into a flame, and here I am now, a roaring blaze.
I feel like a real person again.
