101 Attempts - Halloween
Title: Boo
A/n: Happy Halloween for those in America :)
Also… you guys know what I mean by fruit, right? Before anyone gets mad at me for this, I'll apologize in advance: I'm sorry, but it's a parody and none of the characters in the series are actually gay (accept maybe Jerry). No pairings, no slash. There will NEVER be romance unless the pairing is official (which… I don't think there are any).
._.
Halloween was a fun time for children and teenagers. For adults, it was another excuse to drink. Either way, it was something to celebrate if you lived in the right area. Dressing up as someone else to masquerade around a block to ask neighbors for candy was one of the highlights. Another was going to parties in said costumes. Prizes could be distributed and so forth. Haunted houses would definitely be open, along with the last minute shops for costumes.
Unfortunately, the Black Order did not celebrate this holiday ever since someone had TP'd the hallways, someone had drank too much, and someone may or may not have activated the Komurin to protect his or her little sister from the "scary monsters." Despite the Black Order not celebrating this holiday, everyone saw this as bullshit and rebelled. Who cared about the rules, anyways. Just because someone had caused trouble, that didn't mean everyone else had to pay for their mistakes.
By "someone," Allen meant: Lavi, Cross, and Komui.
Because of the idiots who nearly ruined the holiday for everyone, everyone agreed it was best to throw these people into the jail cells for the rest of the day.
Kanda, wanting peace and quiet, had agreed to lock them up so everyone else would be able to enjoy Halloween. Allen made note to bring him soba later (especially since he was going to have to put up with Cross).
"Allen," came the voice of the drunkard. The apprentice turned around to see his master behind bars, and sighed in relief. For a second there, he had thought Cross had been right next to him.
Cross waved Allen over, and reluctantly, Allen obeyed. The general sat on the edge of the metal bed in his cell, hands folded and feet firm on the ground. He seemed serious, as if he had something important to say for once. Allen decided to listen when he saw Apocryphos peek out at them from the cell one row down.
"Be careful out there, OK, idiot?" Cross stood from his seat and grabbed the metal bars separating them. He leaned as for as the barrier would allow him, and his hand reached out to slip past the bars. Allen felt like shrinking when his master started to pat him on the hair. Cross continued to talk, "And..." he glanced over at Apocryphos, who looked immediately away when they glanced at him, "If I don't make it out of here..."
Cross suddenly froze up in his actions and Allen looked at him to see what was wrong. The man's face was masked by his long red hair, hiding it from him. Allen checked his master's forehead to make sure he wasn't ill. Normal temperature, but he probably had a headache. There was no way Cross was embarrassed or anything.
But he was.
"... I just want to let you know," he took a deep breath and rushed out the words as if they were poison to him. "ThatIloveyoubecauseyou'remyidiotapprentice."
Allen blinked, having missed his master's message. He asked Cross to repeat it three times before giving up; Cross was clearly in a flustered stated and would need time alone before approaching again.
Awkwardly, Cross tugged at Allen's uniform to catch his attention.
"Can I at least see your costume?" Cross seemed too tired to ask for anything else (not even a beer) so Allen complied.
Earlier Allen had dressed into his costume for trick-or-treating with his friends. His outfit was simple: he was a banana.
"FUCK NO!" Cross shouted. "ALLEN, GET OUT OF THAT THING!"
Allen shrugged and walked away. He stopped in the doorway out of temptation. "Lenalee is a watermelon, Kanda is a grape, and the generals are going to walk around as a fruit bowl. You're not invited into their group because of your fruit trauma."
"You poor, sick fucks," Cross shook his head out of pity. "Allen, I swear I'll save you," he promised. "I'll take you away from this madhouse and we'll go anywhere you want. Just… take off the banana suit."
Is master bargaining with me? Allen frowned.
"Master, it's just for one day," Allen tried to reason with his master, but Cross refused to listen.
"Fine, have it your way," Cross seemed angry that Allen wasn't going to obey him. "But I will save you."
Allen rolled his eyes and closed the door behind him after letting Kanda in. Not his problem anymore.
._.
Cross was determined to rescue his idiot apprentice. Not because he cared, but because he cared. He glared out at the world before him from behind the bars that kept him inside the cell. The guard fell asleep and while that was all fine, Cross couldn't reach the key that would let him out.
He scratched his head in frustration, but then remembered he could use Grave of Maria to escape.
"Maria, make that bastard give me the keys," he ordered the corpse.
Soon enough the keys were passed over (while the guard was still asleep) and Cross used them to open the cell. He dismissed Maria and then exited the prison to see what was happening outside.
It was worse than he imagined.
Every person in the building was dressed up as fruit, which made Cross cringe. Why the hell was everyone in this building gay? He swore under his breath and prepared himself mentally before sending himself out into the raging madness of the Black Order. And Allen wondered why he hated coming here.
Being a straight man, Cross knew he would be singled out the moment he went outside. However, he was bent on saving Allen and god damn it, he was going to do just that. He pulled a finder into a dark hallway and mugged him for his costume, then grimaced when he saw that it was also a banana.
Reluctantly, Cross put on the suit and set out to find his moron.
First he blended in with the crowd as to not draw any attention. Cross knew he couldn't walk alone, so he used his womanizing powers on some random ladies and went around with them. He chatted with them but blocked them out after a while- they were busy gossiping about some coworker of theirs.
Step two: ask around. The younger portion of the Order was trick-or-treating, whereas the adults were either getting drunk or aimlessly wandering the hallways. One thing both groups had in common was that they were socializing. Since asking where someone was in this building wasn't strange at all, Cross questioned random strangers.
His third step came into effect the moment he spotted his moron. Allen was hauling a huge bag of candy behind him, looking even more like an idiot in that stupid banana suit. Cross scowled at the thought of his idiot being trapped in that monstrosity, and was driven to tackle said idiot to the ground.
"Wha?-" Allen was knocked down and Cross ripped off the banana costume on his idiot.
"Hold on, idiot, I'm going to save you!" Cross shouted over Allen's terrified screaming.
Quickly, Cross threw the banana costume over the edge and tore off his out of disgust. To stop Allen from resisting, Cross knocked him unconscious and stole his candy. He could use that later to get Allen to stay, although he wasn't sure how long it would last.
"Allen-kun?" Lenalee turned around to see Allen not only beat up, but costume-less and with his master.
Naturally, she was alarmed by this.
"Shut up Lenalee," Cross told the Chinese woman. "Go away, no one wants you."
Lenalee went away.
Now that there was no one to stop him, Cross threw Allen over his shoulder and began to leave the Order with the idiot. Mission accomplished.
._.
In case You Missed It
Attempt: Locking Cross away so he can get away for one day
Foiled by: Cross escapes to save him
Oh wow I feel a little bad for Lenalee at the end there xD But to be fair, she was wearing a watermelon costume and this version of Cross wants nothing to do with the fruits.
I planned on putting this one up on Halloween, but it I'm going to be out with my friends that day so I'm not sure if I'll even have time. In any event, happy Halloween and stay safe! :)
