Wow, I'm almost at chapter fifty! Should I wrap this one up pretty soon because it's dragging on or should I continue? I'm sure I can think up some more adventures for the Cabot-Bensons if there's still interest!

Alex made it to Lily's school in one piece and clung tightly to her daughter's hand as they walked home together, to ground herself as Lily chattered about an art project they'd done at school, the book they'd read at circle time, the centers she went to with Lydia, the Lego tower she and a boy in her class had built. "Mommy," Lily announced, "I have a boyfriend."

Alex startled out of her reverie. "Really?"

"Yeah, Jackson. We're gonna get married!"

Alex smiled. "When's the wedding?"

"Next week, at recess," Lily said seriously. "Lydia's gonna be the bridesmaid and Sara's gonna be the flower girl."

"Are Momma and I invited?"

Lily shook her head. "No, silly! It's a school wedding. You don't get to come to school. Just me and my friends."

"Is Ms. Dannenfelt invited?"

Lily considered for a moment. "I guess. She's the recess monitor, so she'll be there anyway." She lowered her voice conspiratorially. "Mommy, I kissed him!"

Alex's brain was firing. They were four. She didn't think this would happen so soon! "Where did you kiss him?"

"On the cheek." Lily beamed. "It was special. Is it like that when you kiss Momma?"

Alex smiled back. "Yes, it is. So tell me about this Jackson, my future son-in-law."

"He's dreamy."

Alex almost laughed out loud. "Really. How is he dreamy?"

Lily shrugged. "I don't know. But that's what the big girls say about boys they like."

"What big girls?"

"The ones who come in during centers to help out Ms. Dannenfelt. They're always talking about dreamy boys."

"Dreamy means beautiful, sweetie, but you usually use it when you're talking romantically about someone."

"Jackson and I are romantic. He made me a flower in arts and crafts. Look." She fished the flower out of her backpack and showed it to Alex. "Out of pink and purple tissue paper, 'cause those are my favourite colors, and pipe cleaners."

"That was nice of him," Alex said. She was so glad that her daughter had found another friend.

"Mommy, how come some people have a mommy and a daddy but I only have two mommies?"

Alex was prepared for this one. She'd thought about the right way to explain it to Lily and settled on this: "Families come in all shapes and sizes, Lily. Some people have a mommy and a daddy, and some people have two mommies or two daddies, and some people just have one mommy or one daddy. Some people don't have a mommy or a daddy, and those people might live with their grandparents or other friends or relatives."

"How come?"

"Because sometimes something happened to their mommy and daddy."

"Like something happened to Oliver?"

"Yes, like that."

Lily sniffled. "I miss Oliver."

"I know you do, baby. I miss him, too."

"It makes me sad that he's not here."

"It makes me sad, too, sweetie."

Lily squeezed Alex's hand. "But I'm not too sad, 'cause I have you and Momma, and you guys make me happy."

Alex smiled. "You make me very, very happy, too, Lily. You and Momma."

Lily narrowed her eyes. "You make me the happiest times a million, Mommy. No callbacks."

Alex chuckled. "Okay, you win."

Lily beamed. "Is Momma at work now?"

"Yes, she is, sweetie. That's why we're walking home."

"Is she always going to be working?"

"Not always, baby. She'll be home for dinner." Alex lowered her voice conspiratorially. "Do you want to help me make something nice for her for dinner?"

"Like Kraft Dinner?"

Alex laughed. "No, not like Kraft Dinner!"

"Then like what?"

"Well, we can make banana bread for dessert."

Lily wrinkled her nose. "Bread with bananas?"

"Kind of. My mother – your grandmother – gave me her banana bread recipe awhile ago. She used to make me banana bread for my birthday."

"When you were four years old too?"

Alex smiled. "That's right. I helped her sometimes."

"Mommy, where's my grandmother? I never met her, but Lydia's got her grandma and grandpa and her nana."

"She died before you were born, honey."

Lily's face fell. "Like Oliver?"

"Yes, like Oliver."

Lily looked at the ground. "What about Momma's mommy and daddy?"

"Her parents weren't very nice people," Alex said carefully.

"Did her daddy hurt her mommy like the man hurt you?"

Alex was startled. Where had that come from? "Kind of like that, sweetie."

"What about her mommy?"

"She wasn't very nice either."

"And she hurt Momma?"

Alex hesitated, then nodded slightly. "Kind of."

Lily's eyes widened. "How could anyone hurt Momma? She's a police officer, and she's big enough to carry me on her shoulders!"

"She was little, Lily."

"She was little like me?"

"Yes, she was little like you."

"I didn't know mommies could hurt their babies," Lily whispered, and Alex suddenly felt horrible for ruining her childhood innocence. There hadn't been much of it to begin with, and Alex felt guilty for depleting what little was left.

"Sweetie, remember how Momma explained to you about nightmares during the day?"

"Yeah."

"Momma's mother had nightmares during the day sometimes too."

"And that's how come she hurt Momma?"

"Yes."

"Are you gonna hurt me then, when you have nightmares during the day?"

Alex stopped and knelt so they were eye level. "No, Lily. I promise I am never going to hurt you again."

Lily sniffled. "'Kay, Mommy." She held out her arms to her mother. "I love you, Mommy."

"Come here, baby." Alex wrapped Lily up in her arms. "I love you, too. Always."

Review for chapter fifty!