** 49 **

'Shepard?' The worry in Joker's voice and the slight shake in his hands only increased James' anxiety. 'Normandy to ground team, come on Shepard, talk to me.'

There was nothing but static. The flash of the explosion still burned bright in his mind and images of Shepard buried under rubble, dying, gave him waking nightmares. James was rooted to the deck, unable to move as paralysing grief dug its fingers in deep. Stars floated in his vision as he stared at the floor, tendrils of black slid around the edges like oil slicks on water and his lungs screamed for air. He was going to be sick.

'Shepard, come on,' Joker's pleading snapped him out of his stupor.

He gulped in air and Joker glanced up at him worriedly. His vision cleared, the pain in his chest subsided as he pulled in a series of deep, relieving breaths and he swallowed down the bile in his throat. She's fine. She's Commander fucking Shepard.

'Can we replay the footage before the explosion,' he leant on Joker's chair and the lack of his withering glance told James just how worried he was.

Together they watched Shepard enter the mine room, approaching Garneau who sat on the rocks below a glowing orb, a detonator in his hand.

'What is that?' James asked and Joker stopped the vid.

'It appears to be some sort of communication device,' EDI was busy with her hands as she spoke. 'The technology is unfamiliar, the signal it is producing could be responsible for the strange behaviour of the workers. It is intriguing.'

'Save your curiosity for later, EDI,' James cautioned, 'we need to get the ground team back.'

'I've got them,' Traynor's joy was clear over their heads. 'Whatever that thing was it sent out an electronic pulse when it exploded.'

'Normandy … .'

One word broke through the static. It was enough for James though and he fought to bring his emotions under control.

'Shepard,' Joker sat forward and James found himself leaning too. 'Can you hear me?'

'Joker,' Shepard's voice could just be heard through the static.

'Traynor, can we clean this up,' James glanced at the ceiling.

'Trying, sir,' he could hear the frustration in her voice.

'EDI?' Joker glanced across at her.

'Specialist Traynor has accounted for the power surge resulting from the explosion, she is working on the communication systems.'

'Can we speed it up?'

'No.' James was surprised at the shortness of her answer and obviously Joker was too if his open mouth was any indication. 'Specialist Traynor is very competent, she should be allowed to do her job.' The sharpness in her tone surprised James and his eyes narrowed, was something wrong with her.

'Normandy,' Shepard was louder and clearer, pulling his attention back to the screen. The static was an annoying hum in the background and there were still no visuals. 'Ground team is okay but we need a medical pick up and quarantine for the people down here.'

'Roger that,' James responded, hoping his relief wasn't obvious. 'I'll let Hackett know. Do you want Chakwas on the ground?'

'It's probably a good idea, I don't want to leave these people alone,' there was a pause and James had a sense that she was moving so she wasn't overheard. 'I don't know how but these people have been out of it for ten years.'

'Ten years?' He shared a shocked look with Joker.

'Yeah. It's like they snapped out of a trance when that artefact was destroyed. There's something going on down here and we need to find out what it is. Can you send Liara with Chakwas, she might be able to help.'

James nodded even though she couldn't see it. He glanced at Joker's screen to see the shuttle approaching.

'They'll be there in ten.'

'I'll keep you posted.'

'Doc,' James opened the com to medbay.

'Liara and I are already in the elevator,' Chakwas responded.

'Good luck down there,' James blew out a deep sigh and gently clapped Joker on the shoulder. 'Knew she'd be all right.'

'So we won't mention the pacing, or the cold sweats or the almost puking on my deck, which you would have cleaned up by the way.' He half spun to look up at James, a smirk on his face that James was coming to know well.

'Is that like the panic in your voice or the shaking in your hands?' James raised an eyebrow and Joker chuckled.

'All part of the job,' he spun back to his console. 'Don't you have work to do?'

James nodded and made his way to the CIC where he stopped beside Traynor.

'Good job, Traynor,' he grinned at her.

'Thanks,' she was busy on her console but she flicked a glance at him. 'Life aboard a warship is not at all what I expected.'

'Better or worse?'

'It's fantastic.' She beamed at him, 'it's exciting, challenging, I get to play with new tech and I don't have to scrounge for resources. It's brilliant. Of course it's scary and nerve wracking and I'd be completely surprised if I don't have a nervous breakdown before this is over.' She rolled her eyes even though her hands never stopped moving.

'Not all warships are like the Normandy, you could ask for a transfer to somewhere quieter.'

'Not on your life! It's because this is the Normandy that it's amazing.'

'Now that I can understand,' he laughed and she chuckled. 'I need to talk to Hackett.'

'Aye, sir, I'll get him on the QEC.'

James walked into the war room and waited for the QEC to come to life. He rolled his neck, satisfied when it cracked loudly, continued rolling to include his shoulders and shook out his hands to relieve the tension in his arms. Everything was lighter now that he knew Shepard was alive and okay but it felt like he'd been carrying the weight for months. The QEC flared to life and he stepped forward.

'Commander Vega,' Hackett chuckled as James' brow furrowed, 'still not used to it I gather.'

'No, sir,' James saluted and stood at parade rest.

'Relax, Vega,' Hackett's shoulders dropped slightly and James followed his lead. 'What can I do for you?'

'Shepard has asked for a medical and quarantine pick up from Mahavid. The mining colony appears to have lost ten years of time.'

'Ten years?' Hackett couldn't stop his eyes from widening.

'Yes, sir.' James quickly explained the situation.

'So Bryson was on to something,' Hackett's finger tapped his chin as he spoke and James wondered if he realised he was doing it.

'It would appear so,' James nodded.

'We need to follow up on that,' Hackett glanced down at something James couldn't see, 'I can have a ship there in five hours.' He paused as if thinking about something.

'I'm going to order the Normandy in for maintenance, we don't want her falling apart at the last minute and the refit was never completed. I know you've been fixing things but a full check wouldn't hurt. I'm worried about Shepard too, I know she'll run herself into the ground if we don't force her to take a break so I'm also ordering shore leave for the crew. She won't like it so I trust you to make it happen.'

'Yes sir,' James sighed and Hackett laughed. 'Once we get back from meeting with the Quarians I'll see that it happens.'

'Good. Hackett out.'

James leant on the console and dropped his head. Forcing Shepard to take shore leave, she wouldn't be happy. It was his job, and his personal promise, to make sure she didn't burn out, that she was still able to command the ship and take care of the crew. But they could all do with a little downtime because he was sure they wouldn't get the chance later. He straightened and opened the direct com to Shepard.

'How are you doing, Lola?'

'Good,' she blew out a breath and he heard the exhaustion in her voice. 'There don't appear to be too many physical injuries but getting their heads around losing time, a whole different story.'

'Hackett has a ship on the way, should be about five hours.'

'Okay, I'll let everyone know.'

'Do you want me to relieve you?'

'No, I'm fine, not a lot happening so I'm getting to sit down.'

'You know I don't believe you,' James scoffed and the sound of her laughter sent pleasant shivers all the way to his toes.

'All right,' her eye roll was obvious even though he couldn't see her. 'I've been going through the files with Garrus, trying to figure out how all this happened. And just for the record we are sitting down.'

'Any luck?'

'No, we're sending the data to the Normandy though so EDI might find something we haven't. I guess we'll have to go back to Bryson's lab.'

'Roger that,' he agreed. 'Do you need anything?'

'A shower,' she huffed a laugh. 'I'm covered in dust.'

'I'll gladly help with that when you get back,' he dropped his voice to the husky tone he knew she loved.

'Of course you will,' she spoke quietly, 'You can wash my back.'

'Is that all?'

'I'm sure I can think of other places that need washing … .'

'Shepard, I'm sitting right beside you.' James heard Garrus complain and couldn't help the laugh that escaped.

'Keep listening Garrus, you might learn something.'

'I think Kaidan might need a hand.'

'Stop,' she was laughing and James guessed she was stopping Garrus from leaving. 'Gotta go, James.'

'I'll see you when you get back, Lola.'

Then she was gone. She was alive and safe but he wouldn't be truly satisfied until he could see her, hold her. For now though the sound of her voice would keep him going. He made his way down to the mess where he found Campbell getting ready for dinner.

'Campbell, we're going to have a tired, hungry team on board in about five hours, including two biotics and a turian. Think you can have something a little extra special for them.'

'I think so, sir,' she nodded and smiled.

'Good. How are we for supplies?'

'We have enough for now but if we're heading out to the Far Rim we will have to restock once we come back.'

'Okay,' he nodded, 'make sure you put in a full requisitions list because we might not get to restock for a while after this. Order double just in case.'

'Aye, sir.' He was about to walk away but turned back. 'Are you happy with this position, Campbell?'

'Sir?'

'You're a trained marine and you're stuck in the kitchen, if you're not happy I could probably put you on the active duty roster.'

She thought for a moment and James was pleased that she didn't answer immediately.

'Yes sir, I am happy. I know ground missions are important but so is taking care of the crew. If I didn't cook for them who would? There's a good chance many of them would survive on ration bars and coffee.' Shepard popped into his head and he grinned which raised a chuckle from Campbell. 'I think I'm right where I need to be.'

James laughed, 'I should introduce you to Zahedi when we get back to Earth, you sound just like him. Carry on Campbell.'


James stood in the shuttle bay. He managed to stop himself from shuffling and pacing as he waited for the hatch to open, for the first glimpse of Shepard. An Alliance ship had finally arrived which meant the team could come home and he would see for himself that she was okay. Checking in with Shepard on the coms wasn't the same as seeing her face to face, and he needed that. The hatch clicked and slid open.

He stood perfectly still, his breath stopped in his chest. Kaidan was the first off, wincing and narrowing his eyes as he dropped heavily onto the deck and James guessed he had the beginnings of a migraine. That didn't stop him from turning and reaching for Liara who stumbled as she stepped down. She was shaking and even though Kaidan was obviously exhausted and in pain he wrapped an arm around her and helped her stand.

Garrus stepped out slowly, nodded at Kaidan and scooped Liara into his arms, sagging under her weight but quickly pulling himself upright. His blue face markings were barely visible through the dust as he looked towards James. Chakwas followed, taking a quick look at Liara and glancing up as Shepard stepped into the doorway.

James sucked in a breath as her eyes searched the bay, coming to rest on him. She was dirty, there was dried blood on her armour, her hair was a tangled mess and she was hanging on to the doorframe as if she needed it to stay standing. The moment she saw him her eyes lit up, a smile broke through the dirt and she seemed stronger as she stepped onto the deck. His heart pounded as he breathed her in, seeing nothing but beauty and perfection. James' feet were moving before he even thought about it.

'Lola,' he stopped before her and looked her up and down, 'you look like shit.' Beside them Kaidan scoffed a laugh, Chakwas grinned and Garrus simply shook his head.

'Nice to see you too, Commander,' she chuckled and went to step forward but her legs refused to co-operate.

James caught her as she stumbled and held her up as she regained her footing.

'You okay,' he looked down through worried eyes.

'Yeah, just exhausted.'

'I expect you all in the medbay once you've cleaned up,' Chakwas left no room for argument.

'Campbell has food ready for you,' James informed them as Shepard leant on him.

'James, you might want to help Shepard to her quarters,' Chakwas met his eyes with a conspiratorial wink before turning to Garrus. 'Let's get Liara to medbay.'

The three of them walked off as Steve stepped out of the shuttle. Shepard let out a long sigh and relaxed against James who immediately put his arm around her shoulder.

'Shepard,' Steve stepped up beside them, 'if you leave your armour I'll make sure it's cleaned and repaired.'

She was about to argue but James was already at work on the clips to her back plate. He raised his eyebrows at her as she glared at him but relented and helped him remove her outer shell. When she was dressed only in her undersuit James kept his arm around her as they headed to the elevator.

'Hey, Esteban,' James called as he turned and stepped backwards into the elevator, 'don't forget to eat too. Don't make me come down here after you.'

'You'd like that, wouldn't you Mister Vega,' Steve chuckled as the elevator closed on James' grin.

'James, put me down,' she punched his shoulder as he scooped her into his arms once the doors closed. 'I can walk.'

'But you don't have to,' he pointed out as she tried to push away. 'No-one will see us, Lola.'

Whether she agreed or whether she was too tired to fight him he didn't know but she gave in, wrapped her arm around his neck and settled against his shoulder. He could finally let go of the worry and fear, allow himself to relax as her soft breath blew against his neck. She was home, she was safe and she was in his arms. His world was in balance again and he no longer felt like he was sliding off the edge.

'Is Liara okay?' James glanced down to see Shepard's eyes closed but she nodded.

'Yes, she did that mind merge thing she does with some of the asari down there, she's just tired like the rest of us.' She shifted in his arms, 'it was hard, some of them have families they haven't spoken to for ten years, children they haven't seen.'

'I'm sure Hackett will take care of them.'

James carried her into her quarters and gently placed her on her feet outside the bathroom door. She braced herself on the wall as he carefully unzipped her undersuit, sliding it off her shoulders and down her arms. The kisses he placed on her shoulders were pure instinct and he loved the taste of her after a mission, salty but sweet. She sighed and leant against him, nuzzling his neck with her nose.

'Shower, Lola,' he kissed the tip of her nose before placing his hand on her shoulders and pushing her tenderly into the bathroom.

'You did offer to wash my back,' she reminded him.

'Joker's got the ship for now and I have every intention of making good.' He crouched and helped her step out of her suit and underwear as she slipped off her bra.

'Hmm,' she turned to face him, her tired eyes alight with want, 'I'm looking forward to it.'

'You're insatiable, Lola,' he turned on the water as he undressed.

'Only with you, James,' she grinned as he found her lips.

Before they started something she really didn't have the energy for James ran his fingers through her hair and reached for the shampoo. She moaned in pleasure as he massaged her scalp, making sure her hair was thoroughly clean before working his way down with her shower gel. He paid extra attention with his ministrations, massaging and rubbing where he knew she would hurt the most. She relaxed under his fingers and at one point he was afraid she was falling asleep standing up.

When he was sure she was clean he wrapped her in a towel before wrapping one around his waist then ushering her towards the bed. Her hands on his bare chest were hot and his own need was building but he knew she needed food and rest more than she needed sex. She didn't appear to be thinking the same as her hands ran down his chest to the towel around his waist. He grabbed her hands as she went to remove it.

'Lola,' he brought her hands to his lips. 'As much as I'd like to go where you want to go I think you need to see Doc, get some food and some rest.'

'Spoilsport,' she pouted at him.

He laughed and claimed her lips, sucking on the bottom lip that stuck out and she giggled. That was when he knew she needed to sleep.

'Dressed, doctor, food, sleep,' he kissed her rapidly between each word and she groaned.

They did manage to get dressed and minutes later they were on their way down to the crew deck. When he was satisfied that she was under Chakwas' care he returned to the mess to find Kaidan digging in to a hearty casserole that Campbell had prepared.

'You okay, Alenko?' James sat across from him.

'Yeah,' he swallowed another mouthful before continuing. 'It was pretty rough down there.'

'Too many Reaper troops for you, Major?' James smirked at him.

'Nah, that was the easy part. It was the people, lost, in place, in time,' he broke off a piece of fresh baked bread, Campbell had really gone all out. 'I know Shepard was gone for two years but it never hit me until today what it must have been like for her, coming back when everyone else she knew had moved on.'

'She said it was tough,' James nodded and Kaidan looked at him for a moment.

'See, I never asked her about it,' he waved his bread in the air. 'I was too deep in my own grief and pain to even think about what it must have been like for her.' He dunked his bread into his bowl, 'I found it impossible to believe that she'd come back from the dead. I stuffed things up and I always hoped for a chance to make things right.'

'Is that why you came back to the Normandy?' James forced down the anger that slowly rose from his guts.

'Honestly,' Kaidan chewed on his bread and paused, staring hard at James before adding, 'I don't know. We're both different people now,' he smirked at him. 'Don't get me wrong, I'll always love Shepard, … .' James tensed, just as Shepard came out of the medbay.

Both men turned as she looked towards them, her eyes instantly falling on James and a smile breaking out before she quickly pulled it back. James missed the grin Kaidan buried behind his bread.

'James,' she dropped into the seat beside him and eyed off Kaidan's bowl. 'That looks good.'

Campbell placed a bowl and bread before her and she moaned as she closed her eyes and inhaled the aroma.

'Damn, Campbell, this smell delicious.'

'Thank you, ma'am,' she blushed but continued, 'Commander Vega asked me to put something special together because you'd all be tired when you got back.'

'Knew I made the right decision making you XO,' she nudged his shoulder before dunking her bread.

'Speaking of,' James stood up. 'I'd better let Joker know to get underway, assuming we're clear to go.' He looked at Shepard who nodded.

'Can you ask Hackett to check the colonies on Arvuna, they've been dealing with T-GES all this time. It's probably a good idea to make sure they're not under control too.'

James nodded and left them to their food. His doubt about Alenko resurfaced but he forced it down. If he did have intentions towards Shepard he knew she'd set him right. He trusted her and believed in her, and she loved him. His grin was back as he stepped up to the galaxy map and he didn't bother trying to wipe it away.