The Messenger chapter 54: I am the TRUE SHADOW!

(At the fortress of the colours)

Shade is in the corner of a large room. All the others are away from him. Tears and a crazy cackling and eccentric dark gestures coming from the dark one. "Kyahahaha what's the point! Yes, I deny myself everything. So I'll just take it from everyone else!" Shade takes out the tarot card of eight of swords. "Come demons, angels and shadows. I reject my existence. I wish for my destruction. I shall become a being that will destroy itself. Grip me with fear and become part of this darkness. I'll end everything..." Black and white masks which were freaky and emotionless respectively appeared and flew in the air. They had an occasion small smile in them that soon died. Pools of dark living liquid covered the being. They merged into a human form with rams horns and black feathered wings. The new Shade walks slowly into the faces of the other colours, doll like and emotionless. "What did you say?" Red speaks "I didn't say anything" Shade smiles "Ah... you've been quite useless lately. Your a failure so..." He reaches out with his hands. Red backs away. "I touch you, I the true shadow of hearts... it'll kill you!" Shade punches Red who's eyes become void of awareness.. then impales himself upon his own sword. He becomes a bloody mess. "Brother...." Shade charges at Blue who attempts to run but Shade's fingers tap her hair and she collapses into dust. "Don't worry. I'll wreck your pasts and then come back for your lives... if your still here Hahahahahaha hehehe!"

(Cu)

I'm embarrassed at what I did yesterday. Sure it was fun but... that was at someone else's expense, that's not right. I feel something coming for me. It's disturbing. I'm starting to remember almost everything and despite what I said against Black, some feelings I can't shake off. This thing coming for me is a much darker future then Black. Can I face it? I flex my hands. When I woke up my arm recovered. But that's not important at this moment. What am I truly. What type of person am I? Shade is here. He crashes from the roof and we all go out to face him. Iron appears out of nowhere. He grunts and becomes a steel sword. It looks really battered up... like, what I imagined when... dammit. Shade lifts the sword and a black arrow bursts forth from it, my feet stay in place and don't move. It hits me dead centre in the heart. A black slime drips from it. It envelops me and I am held prison by it, a dark watery drowning feeling. My head is barely free. I yell out but now I'm trapped.

"Ahhhhh your the one I have to eliminate first. I can't have you change in anyway, so here's the torture!" I know what's going to happen next and I can't stop it. My thoughts of those times. "You know... when I realised my brother was more talented then me and that I probably couldn't repay my parents for what they did for me... for supporting me. I wanted to protect always. I didn't think anyone could love me so... all their expectations should be fulfilled by him. He can do it and make them happy. I'm a waste of space. They are so many people more deserving then me. I eat food that would be better for another person. I drink what someone else could. I breathe the air that may very well run out one day". It's my mind talking. Part of me wishing for it and another part rejecting it. The others are listening.

"Why do I need to live by human rules. Why do I have to bear the responsibilities of a living human being! That destroys all it touches and sins ignorantly! I step on plants and insects... eat the meat of animals which have been hunted. Animals go like this right? Survive. And for each animal its a hunt to see if you survive or not. Life cycles though, and balances itself out. And even though unfair in some respects it doesn't damage the Earth. Humans don't even give a chance to run. But I eat the meat and say to myself "its already dead"... urgh I contradict myself. Why can't I die and let it be over and done with?"

Damn this. "Why do I live? I don't feel content living just to live. Why? I used to be fine with that. I guess I started feeling that I need purpose or something. The last time I had a friend. He was like a big brother to me. And well he wouldn't mind role playing in broad day light. And I could act how I liked around him without feeling judged. He was smarter then me so he left for a good school. I said to myself "I shouldn't stand in the way of his dreams" So I let him go. I kick myself for not at least trying to be smart enough to join that school. He was the only true friend I had. After that I stupidly copied other people for entertainment. It was dumb and this made people hate me. And pity me. And then love me. How is that love? This is when I hated myself, I no longer liked what I was".

It's freaking hard to face myself. "So I slowly isolated myself from everyone and I guess I died inside. I couldn't accept the people I met now. They were silly vulgar and immature. They still are. I hate them. I think of children as pure innocence. That should never be corrupted. But then I started to think... the people I met now, are they kids? Maybe I wanted my own perfect world. Trying to fit everyone in but couldn't... a part of me is a selfish take everything for granted brat! And the other part wishes for everyone other then myself to prosper. And he never ever stands up for himself. Neither are very good. I can't grab the pieces of myself and bring them together. It just breaks apart".

"I really want a person full of life and happiness, courage and strong free will to guide me. So I who have a weak spirit can grow and face my problems. This makes me think, if I could find a person who is loved by everyone... then I could throw away my emotions and become a blade to serve them And make them the ruler of all life. I wouldn't need earthly desires. I wouldn't need love. I would just need to feel my body be battered up and ripped apart and nothing else". That's what the sword in Shade's hand looks like. "But if such a person appears do I truly face the problem? I wouldn't have done so on my own strength. I wouldn't have confronted the problem! Why is it so hard to..." I think I can answer the question now. Maybe friends are suppose to support you to break through that darkness... only I can truly get rid of the problem but, their there to support me!" The dripping liquid loosens and I start to pull it apart. "What your going to use force to break out of your problems! Face it a person like you can never enjoy yourself without someone else suffering! You can't love or live! You don't have the right! I know I'm the TRUE SHADOW I AM TRULY WHAT YOU THINK!" Shade roars... maybe he's right about that...

(Here are some options.

Use force.

Stay still.

Let darkness take over

Decide okay?)