I do not own JE's characters, only my own.

A/N: This story is very OC. Steph lives in Miami and has changed her name to shed the stigma of the Burg. She goes by the nickname Isis and she is with Ranger and another OC of mine. Lula is along for the ride.

My rating is for a reason!

Thanks for reading and for all of your messages. I welcome all reviews.


July 23rd Cas POV

I welcomed my guests to the room we had reserved.

"Hello, Mother." No one said I had to be polite about it.

"Casper Terrell Payne, you need to be more respectful!" I ignored her.

"Hello, Jackie." My sister exchanged a glare with me. The stuck up bitch.

"Wow, you must really like Halloween. You named your kids after a ghost and a jack o lantern!" My Babygirl is so funny.

"Fancy, baby, this is my mother and this is my sister."

My baby is wearing her green contacts and she has a black wig on today. She is in a zebra striped dress and high heels with stockings and garters.

She smiles and asks her assistant. "Lacey, who is the first appointment?"

My mother looks shocked.

"What?"

Babygirl explains it to her. "Oh, well, Casper said he wanted me to meet you before the wedding and we have so many events to attend that I have to hire some help. We are interviewing during lunch."

My mother leans forward to try to intimidate her. It does not work. "Help with what?"

"Well, those bitches at the club have kids and I want one too but I am not about to get knocked up yet because the winter fashions for maternity this year are hideous plus, if I hire a kid, they will do what I say. Just get some ribs or something, Miss Bertha."

Lacey clears her throat. "First we have little Keysha Jenkins. She looks mixed so it would be believable."

Callie comes in wearing a sparkly purple halter sundress and her hair in a ponytail. She even has on heels.

She curtsies. "I am Keysha and this money would be for my tuition at Brightwell. I know about hip hop and I have decided to do get me bodied."

She starts her music and dances around and does all the dances.

When the song is over we clap. "That was great, Keysha, but can you also act like you hate me to get close to the gossip wenches?"

She gets an instant attitude and rolls her eyes at Babygirl.

"Yes, you whacked cracker wannabee." Isis claps her hands.

"I like her, Lacey. Have you had lunch, Keysha?"

"Not yet."

She hands her a menu. "Okay, here, Miss Betty was getting some pig's feet sandwiches or something."

"Oh, I do not eat pork and we are on Atkins."

"I hear you. Get what you want. Did you bring some sneakers?"

"Yes, thanks. I will put them on. Daisy will be back in an hour." They are so funny.


July 23rd Isis POV

Lacey hands me another empty folder. "Okay, next we have little Jayson Benton."

Jamal comes in and he is dressed like a hoodrat. He looks pissed.

"No, no no! I am firing Estelle. This is not the boys in the hood musical is it?"

"No, Jayson." He sighs.

"I had a whole breakdancing routine. So is this the kid at a wedding and luncheon thing?"

"Yes."

"Oh well, I am great at tantrums, I will pretend I love watermelon for a dirt bike and I will also go to golf with my fake dad. I am learning Italian and I know Spanish. I cannot believe she told my granny the wrong audition!" He flops down next to Callie.

"Wow, you really brought it with that dress. I saw you at the lunchables thing." She smiled at him.

"I knew you looked familiar." Jamal nods and looks at the menu.

"Yes, I was wearing khakis that day and I was smiling a lot." He smiles like a pureblood.

Callie hands him the bread like it is a bomb. "You were close." He scoffs.

"Please. Mari was a shoe in. Spanish kids are the cool thing these days. Being black is not enough. Granny says we have Indian in our family but she cannot prove it."

"I am part white." He beams a smile at Callie.

"Wow! You do have nice hair."

"Thanks."

"You should try the no more tears thing." She nods.

"I am on the list for that. You know, I think Ice Cube is doing a new movie. You could try to be his kid."

Jamal gasps. He pulls out his phone.

"Estelle? You are fired! You sent me to the wrong audition and I look like I can't read or something plus you did not tell me about the Ice Cube movie. Well, that was the last straw, lady. I am hiring Pookie. I know he is your son, but he is better at appointments. He got me into the dentist in one day. Fine. Bye, Auntie and no hard feelings."

I giggle at him. I cannot help it. He looks at me. "So, I want a salad too, please."

"Sure thing, Jayson." Casper's mother cannot stand it anymore.

"This is ridiculous, Casper!"

"Wow, you got named after a friendly ghost. That is a tough thing to escape. Maybe you can change your name to Chas or something?" He smiles at Jamal.

"Thanks, but I am not an actor. I am marrying this woman."

"Wow. Is she rich?"

"Yes, but so am I."

Casper's mother bangs on the table. "Stop interviewing children!" He turns to her.

"Mother, just eat your lunch. You asked me to come and I am here." Lacey clears her throat again. I know she is loving this, plus we are paying her. She also has a date with Marco later. Lester told her that he was too old for her.

"Next we have little Benjamin Morgan."

Eli comes into the room dressed like a stuck up kid in a sweater vest and dockers. He is also wearing glasses. He is on his Gameboy and he sits there.

I clear my throat. "Ahem?" He looks at me like I am a bug.

"Yes?"

"Are you going to audition?"

"Look, number two, just get some fat free water and leave me alone. If you are quiet while I play my game, I will not tell daddy about you naked wrestling with the pool guy."

He glares at me and goes back to his Gameboy. Callie and Jamal clap.

"That was awesome! He stayed in character the whole time! I really thought he hated you, ma'am."

I turn to Eli. "You are really good, Benjamin."

"Thanks, I really do have a wicked step mother. She bounces. I want this job to get away from her."

"Casper, you cannot marry this woman! Who hires children?" Before we can answer her, threre is another arrival.

"Someone who wants a professional to do the job, Big Mama. Hello, I am Mari Ruiz."

"Why!"

"Calm down, Keysha. They cannot pull off a Mexican kid." Fifi looks at Jamal with a fake smile.

"I am not Mexican, Jay Z."

"Chiquita, I am not really that hood. I am able to play many parts. All you can do is cry."

She glares at him menacingly.

"I can also make people cry, want to see?"

"Kids, calm down, please. I will put you in a time out." They stop arguing and look at Cas.

"That was good. Have you been on television?"

"I am not an actor, I am going to marry this woman."

Fifi smiles. "Oh, that is nice."

Eli warns him. "They will lynch you!"

"Shut up, Benji." He turns to Fifi.

"Mari, I thought we made friends. I sent you a box of Krispy Kremes and everything."

"You know I am on Atkins!"

"These kids are ridiculous. Casper, you should come home. Besides, there is no way, you could have a Mexican little girl."

Alex comes in and poses. "Sorry, I am late. I just got a taco bell commercial!"

"Hello, Juan." They all say it like they hate him. He is wearing a suit like Miami Vice and he has on ray bans.

"Hey, Mari!"

"Hello, Juan." He turns to me.

"So, this gig might not work out but you will need friends for your kid, lady. We are diverse and we can make you look good to your friends. Here is my agent's card. He is a wiz at getting the job done. So, Mari, can I have my driver drop you off?"

"Fine, but we have to call daddy so he knows he can stay at the club. Bye guys and good luck. Here is my nannies' card. I can pretend to be friends with Freaky Jayson over there if I have to. Bye Keysha!" They leave and Callie and Jamal glare at the empty doorway.

"I hate them."

"Me too."

Eli decides to mess with Cas' mother. "So, Big Momma, will you come to visit a lot and are you allergic to anything?"

"Leave me alone little boy."

"Wow, I thought black grannies were nice."

Jamal smiles. "Mine is nice, but she said that is because she spends time with the slow music and with her bedroom door locked. Maybe Big Momma does not have any friends to sleep over."

Callie looks at the food she is eating with disgust. "Maybe she still eats pork. Look at that roll, she is eating bread!"

"Calm down, Keysha."

"Have you seen fat rolls on a lady, Jayson? They are gross and that is not happening to me. Poor Miss Brenda."

"My name is Belinda!"

"Okay, calm down. She might have high blood pressure. Is she drinking? Wow, I feel like maybe I do not want this job if there will be an angry alcoholic fat granny at the family dinners."

"But, Keysha, your song was so great!"

"Miss Fancy, I cannot deal with an angry fat black granny. I am going to have to leave. See you guys at the mcdonald's rehearsal."

"Okay!" She leaves.

I growl at Cas' mom. "You made me lose my daughter! Do you know how many mother daughter events there are between now and Christmas?! Do something, Casper!"

"Mother, I think we will be going."

"But what about the trust?" His sister finally speaks up.

"What about it?"

"If you get married, you get control of it."

"Jacqueline, stop bothering me about money."

"I need more money!"

"You spent your money on that failed chicken wing delivery business." The kids whistle.

"Wow. That must have been a lot of chicken."

"Anyway, I am leaving." Cas motions to me and I turn to the kids.

"Benjamin and Jayson, I like your style and you have good banter. I would like you both to come out to the house and see if you like the atmosphere. Are you okay with dogs?"

They nod. "Yes, ma'am. Here is my card. Please call Pookie to schedule the visit. See you, Benji!"

"I have to wait for my Auntie."

Zee comes in and she is a whirlwind.

"Come on, Benji. Did you get it?" She does a convincing stage mom.

"Oh, I am doing a home visit to see how I fit in."

"That is great. Was she here?"

"Yes, but Little Miss Perfect cannot cry her way into being black."

"Good. Let's go. Here is my card." I take it.

"Thanks."

"Thank you Lacey. They were great kids." She packs up her empty files.

"Well, first I went to that lean on me school and asked them questions like can they do the dougie and if they liked white people. One of the teachers gave me some contact names and I was able to pull this crew together." I smiled.

"I loved that dress she had on too. Maybe she can be a friend that visits. She can sing and dance! Casper, make your mother go away so I can call little Keysha back!"

"Okay, Babygirl. Calm down. You don't want wrinkles, right?" I kiss him and we both moan.

"I love you, Cas."

"I love you too."

Lacey turns to me. "So, I can go back to the house with these notes, Fancy."

"Thanks, Lacey. You are a star. See you."

"So, Mother, when are you leaving town?"

"We are leaving after this. You are really going to marry this white girl?" I lean forward and hand Cas the messenger bag.

"Show her the book, Cas!"

He pulls out the pink bridal book from hell. "See, these are the sailor dresses and the sailor hats. This is the rumpshaker contest at the reception. We are jumping a broom, too!" He said all of that with a straight face. His mother looked horrified.

I took over the explanations. "We are playing all hip hop at the wedding! It will be so fun."

"You will look like a damned fool! Why is everything so pink?"

"It is my wedding color like on steel magnolias."

"Oh this is so crazy. I am not coming to this monstrosity, Casper!"

"Miss Bernice, I know we can get Sergio to make a pink mother of the groom dress big enough for you."

"I am not fat!" She isn't, but no woman likes to be called fat.

"Okay, calm down." I turn to Cas and kiss his cheek.

"Did you tell her about Ricardo?"

"No, Babygirl."

"Who is Ricardo?"

"He is my mister."

"What?" I explain it to her like she is a kindergartner.

"You know how men can have a mistress? I can have a mister."

Casper's mother must wish she had liquor in her iced tea by now. "Is this little girl trippin?"

"No, Mother. She said I can get a mistress if I want they just have to be black and they cannot go to her country club or to her same spa. I am still looking."

"What?!" He shrugs.

"I want to have sex every day and when she needs a break, the mistress will come in and when I want to go to the game or to chill, the Ricardo guy can fill in for me. It is really win-win."

He looks at his watch. "He is late. You might need to call Enrique."

"He will be here, Casper."

"Well, Babygirl, I have that basketball game with the guys."

"Okay. Do not get hurt."

"I will be fine. Bye Mother, Jaqueline." Carlos comes into the room and he looks so delicious in his blue suit.

He hugs and kisses me. Casper's mom gasps.

"Hola, Querida."

"Hey, Ricky! I knew you would be here. So, Cas is leaving."

"You have condoms right, man?"

"Yes, Casper."

"Okay, make her tired because I will be when the game is over and we are getting some drinks afterwards. Bye Babygirl." He kisses me and waves. I take the check and wave to his mother and sister and leave with Carlos.

In the car, we laugh all the way home. We left a couple of guys on them to make sure they leave town.

"You were late, Ricky."

"Sorry, Baby. The DMV op was so much fun. These kids are so adorable and funny. I saw some of it. Fifi and Alex were hilarious."

We watch the video when we get home and the guys are on the floor laughing at the kids.

"Oh man! When Alex showed up like a freaking movie star with a suit on!"

"No, when Jamal showed up in the wrong outfit! Then he fired his aunt."

"I thought Eli was hilarious at being a brat."

"I still loved Callie's dance! She wore the heels I got her!"

"My mother almost exploded with her anger. Then they kept giving you their cards."

"Oh man, I love these kids! They are funny."

"I loved how they kept asking Cas if he was an actor, too." I reach over and take the remote.

"Save that wedding book. It will come in handy in Atlanta."

"Okay, Babygirl. Thank you all for helping me to get my mother to go away."

"No problem, Cas. The DMV op went great and Jordan is telling his contacts in Boston and Atlanta about us. We are getting a great rep."

"That is great Carlos. Where are the kids?"

"They are having a driving and shooting exercise."

"Oh well, they deserve to unwind."

"I bet you people really do things like this."

"Hire child actors? Maybe they do."

"What is for dinner?" He kisses me.

"We are having spaghetti."

"Okay, Baby. I am taking a shower." He left the room with a bounce in his step.


July 23rd Alex POV

"Today was so fun guys."

"That lady was awful. We should have Magood her."

"We can call Snake and Lox."

"Yes!" So all agree.

"Fine, where is Nelly?"

"He is taking a nap." Fifi dials a number on speed dial.

"Hello, Snake? This is Fifi. Yes, we do like the dvds of a different world and new jack city. We wanted to know if you are still watching Cas' mother and sister. Great!"

We all crowd around her phone because she has it on speaker. "So, can you come get us and take us to her hotel room? We want to do a Magoo. We have gloves. Bobby gave us two boxes. We are going to be funny! Just come and watch."

We have on all black and jeans and baseball caps. We are in the lobby of the hotel with OPP playing and picket signs that say, "are you my daddy", "I am your little homie", "take me home", "how much for those Jordans in the window".

We have pictures of Jamal smiling on the picket signs and every time a black man gets off the elevator, we swarm him and act like reporters. We ask if their name is Jeff. One guy runs away screaming after throwing money at us. While we are doing that, Jamal and Fifi are doing the Magoo.

We know people take the shampoos from the hotel so we are putting nair and blue dye into them and rubbing the scratchy stuff on their clothes. They come back and get into the picket line with us. We changed the song to respect and sing along.


July 23rd Jamal POV

So, we went to the police station and our homie Detective Kent said he would handle our paperwork, then we gave him some muffins and he called Nelly for us. We left out the back way and he promised we were not on video. Being the great homie I am, I let Alex and Fifi go inside first. Heh heh.

"Hola, Mami!" Miss Prada glares us, but them mostly. "Hello kids. I am not pleased that you left without telling me."

"Sorry, Mami." She crosses her arms over her chest. That is a nice dress.

"No more black ops, kids. You will tell me or you will not go. I will take your guns away."

We all nod.

"Okay, that is a deal, Miss Prada." She kisses all of our heads.

"By the way, I saw the video of your distraction in the lobby and it was hilarious. I took it from Snake. You planned a good op and you had extraction plans. Very good."

"Thanks, Mami!"

"Great, now eat your dinner." She strokes my hair.

"Miss Tessa is here, Jamal." I turn and see her.

"Granny! I got arrested!"

"What?"

"Sike. They took us in because we had no grownup. We told the guys not to be with us on purpose because we do not want people to know that we are cool with the Wiz. We got all the video and no finger prints or anything. Plus we turned these ladies blue for being mean to Ghostface."

She hugs me. "Well, that is good, Jamie. Just let little Cricket know what you are doing. I almost went upside her head."

"Really?" She winks at me.

"Yup. I will smack someone over my little grandbaby."

"Thanks, Granny. You know she has guns right."

"I said almost, Jayse. Now find out what she puts in this spaghetti sauce for me."

"Okay, Granny." Miss Prada laughs.

"I will tell you Miss Tessa if you tell me about your chicken and dumplings." Granny sucks her teeth and walks away.

"That is not an equal trade, Cricket. " I love my Granny.