Revised and Adapted 10/15/10

Chapter XLIX: The Unclouded Wish

The memories of the past

Are sad and lonely, filled with pain

And now I stand fast

With those memories sucking like a drain,

If only I could ignore them,

Look past their strange facade,

And stop what is condemned

What is an act of God.

I swear that I have tried,

I have looked for a meaning,

I have looked far and wide,

But still the answered tilted, leaning.

So lay me on the chopping block,

Go on—take my head,

I do not care to walk,

For without you I am dead.

Come to me Kagome,

Change my lot in life,

Do this for me only

It is my only strife.

Flower Twenty-nine

Kagome looked at the white space around her that was filled to the brim with flowers of every color she had ever seen, as well as others she had never known existed. In her hand rested the one white flower that had been all that was left of Airashii. It was the only white flower in the entirety of the field.

She gulped and looked around her, the closest flower to her was a beautiful blue one—almost teal. She reached for it and touched one of its silken petals with a smile. Carefully, she plucked it from the ground and brought it to her face, smelling it with calm uncertainty before bringing it down to her lap, placing it with the white flower.

Her gaze traveled to another flower, another one that was close by. It was a delicate red—almost pink. She reached for it, removing it from its earthen home and smelled it as well. This flower smelt vaguely familiar to her, it reminded her of Inuyasha. She placed it next to the white and blue one in her lap before looking around for the next flower to add to her bouquet.

It came in the form of a green one—an odd color for a flower. She reached for it despite this and took it into her hand with gentle care before smelling it and grinning. It smelled familiar also, like lavender. She brought it away and stared at it for some minutes, wondering why the scent was so deliciously upsetting. It then too went into the pile on her lap, nuzzled between blue and red.

Lazily she let her vision take in one last color, a purple daisy that rested a few feet away. Stretching herself to her limit she reached for the flower and just barely caught a hold of its stem. With a snap the flower was broken from its green neck and Kagome brought it towards her, studying it with care filled eyes. She smelled deeply and was instantly reminded of someone very dear to her. She placed it into the bouquet and then brought all the flowers in front of her face in wonderment.

Kagome looked at the white flower then, studying it and vaguely wondering what it might smell like. She brought it to her face with every intention of taking a deep breath but stopped. For whatever reason Kagome was unable to bring herself to smell this one, it just didn't seem right.

"Red, blue, purple, green—white." She named each color and looked at them with earnest eyes, as if she wanted them to give her some sort of answer but the flowers, unfortunately, could not reply, even if they had wanted to.

Kagome dropped her hands and held the flowers close to her stomach as she looked at the field around her. "Why am I still here?" She asked the air lightly as she turned her head slowly back and forth taking in the world around her. "I purified everyone, Mika, Shokuro, Akkanka, and Seika," She named each person off. "Even myself, so what's left to do?"

Kagome looked down at the flowers and wondered briefly what these colors represented. "Red," Kagome said in a small voice. She gulped before she could bring herself to continue. "Stands for Inuyasha." She gently took that flower from the bunch and set it on the ground. "Blue, stands for Shippo." With this flower she did the same. "Purple, stands for Miroku." This flower too was placed upon the ground. "Green, stands for Sango." The flower joined the others leaving Kagome with only the white one in her hand.

She studied this last flower with intent eyes. The only person left was herself and yet this was Airashii's flower, the flower she had left behind. Kagome gently set the flower on the ground and looked off in the distance. She furrowed her eyebrows when she felt the wind move around her, touching her back in an almost caressing way. She brought her hands around her body and hugged herself as she thought of more important things than white flowers and colorful bouquets.

"What could I possibly have left to do?" She muttered as she looked up at the white sky. Her brow knitted in confusion at the sight of the whiteness—it didn't seem so white anymore. "Blue?"

Kagome looked around her at the changing white abyss. The ground that the flowers grew in was now green, the clearing was now surrounded by forest and life, there were birds flying overhead, everything was alive.

"Am I still in the Shikon?" She questioned as she stood up and looked at the now blue sky with eyes full of curiosity. Her eyes closed as a gentle and calming breeze hit her full on, it felt wonderful as she inhaled the scent of every flower, one by one.

The breeze encompassed her then in a beautiful and cool whirlwind of sensation. She brought her hands up around her body tightly and held herself, as if reassuring herself that she was alive. She inhaled again and was met with the scent of nothing. Kagome opened her eyes quickly and looked around her in shock—the white was back, the flowers gone.

"I'm still inside the Shikon." She concluded and looked towards her feet only to be surprised once more. Still sitting where she had laid them were the five flowers from before. Kagome brought her hand to her chest and looked at them with cloudy eyes before she bent down and picked them back up.

She brought them to her face and inhaled deeply only to find out they no longer had a scent. Kagome felt tears come to her eyes—why had the beautiful flowers lost their smell? She lowered the hand that held them and kept them at her side in a tight grip as she looked into the colorless void.

"Why am I still here?" She screamed and threw the flowers away from her. They hit the ground of white and shattered, petal by petal, their colors fading at the action. Kagome had the decency to feel bad and fall back to her knees. She reached for the petals but it was too late, they were already fading away, except for one.

Kagome reached forward and took the only flower left into her hand—the white one—Airashii's.

"Airashii," Kagome blinked back tears. "What is left, what could I possibly have left to do?"

The flower, just like any other flower, did not answer Kagome. She stood back up again and looked with sad eyes at the white void around her. She missed the beautiful flowers that had spread over it, the life that had filled it, if for only a minute.

"Kagome—," Her eyes snapped open at the sound of someone or something calling her name. She looked around her, making a circle, looking into every corner of the void and yet—she didn't see a soul.

"Whose there?" She called out, hoping that the individual would respond but no voice came. She looked up and she looked down in search of the source of the voice but saw nothing. "Maybe I imagined it." She concluded softly as she twirled the flower in her hand without giving it so much as a glance.

Suddenly out of the corner of her eye Kagome saw a flash of color—red. She turned towards it but nothing was there, no one was there. Perhaps she had imagined that as well, maybe she was going insane. Kagome shook her head and looked back in the opposite directly only to catch that same flash of red out of the corner of her other eye. She turned completely around attempting to fix herself on the one color in a white void but saw nothing.

"Show yourself." She called out sick of the games that were being played with her head.

"Kagome—," Was her response.

The sound of the voice made her spin tingle and Kagome took a step back clutching the flower to her chest. "What do you want?"

"Kagome—," The voice answered.

Kagome looked around from left to right, up and down, backwards and forwards, but no matter where she looked she didn't see a thing. Just as she was about to give up hope something caught her attention, a vague color in front of her—white with a hint of gray. Kagome put her hand to her chest as she approached the spot that was ever so slightly different than the other spots.

When she reached it she stopped, taking in the texture of this particular spot in the white void. It almost looked like a dirty mirror, but offered no reflection. Kagome reached her fingers forward, the set that didn't clutch the flower and touched the surface of gray and white.

Her hands were met by something hard to the touch, something firm. Drawing her hand away in confusion Kagome tucked it to her chest. "What is that?"

"Red and white—flower—."

She quickly jumped back as the voice that had been calling to her came to her ears vividly through the color lapse. She brought the hand clutching the flower away from her body like a shield and looked at the petals transfixed.

"Red and white?" She mumbled out as she brought the flower closer to her for inspection. "But the flower's white."

"Tainted and pure." The phantom voice announced.

This time Kagome's heart didn't race at the sound, instead it just beat steadily in her chest. Tainted and pure? Red and white? What did it all mean?

"Do you not hear me, Kagome." The voice came again and Kagome snapped her eyes upwards at the mirror like gray spot. Now sitting within it was her own reflection, holding the white flower.

"I hear you." She responded looking her reflection in the eyes.

"Look closer." The voice said again and Kagome obeyed.

She looked into the mirror her muscles tensing at the effort. At first all she saw was what she had seen before, her own face, her own body, Airashii's flower but then—then she saw something much different inside of the flower.

Its color of white turned bright red before swelling back to its beautiful white. It seemed to flow over Kagome then turning every bit of clothing she wore a beautiful white before the mirror shattered into a million pieces.

"White Hakama, white Haori." This time the voice came from behind her causing Kagome to turn and take in a new scene—a scene filled with Inuyasha.

Kagome rubbed her eyes before she looked at Inuyasha fully. He wasn't moving and protruding from his chest was an old arrow covered by old vines. Forcing herself to step forward, Kagome took in the scene more fully as it materialized around her like a water color painting.

From Inuyasha's body came the tree, its deep roots created by swirls of black and brown. Those same roots reached out to become the ground and then reached up to become the many branches of Wagakoiki/Goshinbock. It then went into the sky becoming shades of blue and white and yellow as it formed the sun before it seemed to explode and turn into a million falling stars. Those stars became the scenery around the tree; they became bushes, and flowers, birds and squirrels, fruits and vegetables, insects and mammals.

And in the center of all of this was Inuyasha pinned to the tree, pinned by the same arrow that had pinned him originally in the same red clothing she knew all too well.

"Inuyasha." She whispered as she moved towards him, her eyes trained on his peaceful face. It was the same face she had seen nine years ago pinned to the very same tree.

Kagome climbed up on the roots in the very same way she had all those years ago and placed her hands on his chest, attempting to see if his heart was still beating within his rib cage. Much to her relief it was beating, a solid pattern under her fingertips, that seemed to comfort her in a way words never could.

"Thank goodness." She mumbled as she laid her head on his chest and took a deep breath.

"Red and white." The voice drew her away from him, she looked back and her eyes opened so wide she was sure they would have come out of her head had she been Whoopi Goldberg, an actress she was surprised she still remembered.

"Kaede-baa-chan." She barely got out as she looked at Kaede in front of her, young and vibrant.

"I'm surprised you recognized me, Kagome-chan." Kaede said with a smile as she took a step towards Kagome.

Kagome was surprised she had recognized the young woman in front of her. She was most diffidently not the woman Kagome had known in her life. Kaede was thin and stood tall with no hunch in her back. Her face was smoothed and lacked the wrinkles of old age and the fine wise lines of progressed years. Her one good eye was wide and beautiful, a solid chest nut brown that was trained on Kagome as she took a step towards her.

"I am surprised to see you wearing the color of your trade."

Kagome looked down at the cloths, the white Haori and—white—Hakama. "My Hakama's white?"

Kaede smiled at her, as if she knew some strange secrete. "So it appears. How very appropriate."

"Why is it white?"

With a chuckle Kaede explained. "We are all born with two sides, pure and tainted, white and red. Even a Miko is born this way, with the possibility for good and evil. This is why they wear the white of purity and the red of taint, to symbolize the two sides of humanity of demonaity."

"But mine's white." Kagome reiterated.

"Look at the flower in your hand Kagome."

Kagome glanced down at the white flower and shrugged. "It's the flower Airashii left over when she was purified."

"No Kagome," Kaede said with a grin in her now young eyes. "It is the flower which symbolizes yourself. It was created when Airashii was purified from you—to show that you are now purified."

Kagome looked at Kaede dazzled by her words. "So the white flower stands for me, stands for purity?"

"A woman with eyes unclouded by hate," Kaede confirmed. "Only she can see the path to purification of humanity, demonanity and—the purification of her own final task."

"Final task." Kagome repeated as she looked back at Kaede.

"Yes, you must finish what was started five hundred years ago with the Airashii in Midoriko."

"What was started?" Kagome said in a small voice.

"The thing that first brought you here."

"Kagome," A groggy voice entered the conversation causing both women to turn and look at the place the tree still stood, the place Inuyasha still rested.

Kagome rushed forward when she saw his opened eyes and quickly climbed back up the roots of the tree. She reached him so fast, Kaede thought for a moment she was a demon, as she placed her hands on each side of his face.

"Are you okay?" She asked in a shaky voice as she noticed the look of pain in his eyes.

"Yeah," He managed to say as he looked at her with a half-smile. "I'm fine." A cough cut him off and he hissed in pain as the arrow in his chest made it agonizing to move. "Kagome—," He said in a shaky voice as he appeared to come to his senses slightly. "I'm not gonna lie." He took a deep breath and tried to lean his head back. "This hurts."

"Says the man whose had holes in his stomach and not complained." She tried to joke but tears were already filling her eyes at the sight of him.

"Kagome," Kaede said from behind her, drawing her attention back towards the old woman.

"Is that Kaede." Inuyasha said in a small voice. Kaede smiled.

"Hello, love." Kaede said as she looked past Kagome at Inuyasha. "This will only take a second and then you will feel no pain, but you have to not talk."

"Sure." Inuyasha said without argument as he smiled almost dreamily before closing his eyes.

Kagome choose to ignore the somewhat odd exchange and looked at Kaede, one hand still resting slightly on Inuyasha's chest. "Kaede," She began softly, "What do I need to do, what is left to complete?"

Kaede's smile made Kagome's heart clench tightly in her chest for some reason. Maybe it was the way she smiled, or maybe it was the fact that she was smiling for her, no matter what it was it made Kagome feel protected in a very strange way.

Stepping away from her mate Kagome put her hand to her heart and looked at the young and old woman. Her eyes were questioning her but her voice was speechless, Kaede appeared to understand the unspoken words and shook her head.

"If you complete this task Kagome," She said without preamble. "You will never be able to return to your own world again. It will be the sacrifice you have to make. Will you do it?"

Kagome looked at Kaede and furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "Will I be able to stay with Inuyasha."

"Yes." Kaede said with a light in her eyes.

"Then I will do it. I want to finish this. I'm sick of games Kaede, let's put it all to rest."

Kaede nodded and pointed at Inuyasha with one smooth hand. Kagome followed the hand to where it pointed and then looked back at Kaede innocently. "The arrow?"

"Yes." Kaede supplied, "What do you see."

Kagome looked at the arrow, her eyes glancing up to take in Inuyasha's face, he appeared to be sleeping peacefully. She smiled lightly at the sight and then looked back down at the painful wound surprised to see some blood seeping from it with each breath he took. She shook her head and looked back at Kaede her eyes sad. "I see an arrow, its killing him isn't it?"

"It is, but you Kagome are only seeing with your eyes."

"My eyes." Kagome whispered at the obscure words.

"You must look differently, Kagome, if you wish to see."

Kagome's eyebrows went straight into her bangs as she turned around and looked at Inuyasha. What was it she was missing? How could she see without her eyes? What did she need to do differently?

"I don't understand." She voiced as her eyes stayed trained on Inuyasha.

"Eyes only see so deep."

She heard Kaede speak behind her but when she turned the young version of her mentor was gone. "Kaede!" She panicked and looked in all directions for the woman but came up with nothing. "No—why do you always leave." She yelled out. "First Sugoi, then Airashii, and now you? How can I figure out what the hell to do with only riddles?"

Kagome felt the tears on her face, they were tears of frustration and loss. She wiped them away angrily and looked at Inuyasha. "I guess I have no choice." She said to his sleeping face. "All I can do is answer the riddle."

She moved forward and looked at the arrow in his chest, the little bit of blood that matched his Haori. Was there something she needed to see on his person, she wondered. Maybe it had nothing to do with the arrow at all; maybe she had misunderstood Kaede's pointing.

She took in his appearance and frowned, he looked the same as he always did, except asleep. His ears were normal on his head and his nose and eyes remained the way they always had as long as she had known him. His skin was even the same tan she remembered before they had ended up inside the Shikon no Toma. So what was she missing?

"Eyes only see so deep." She repeated Kaede's words out loud and paused. "My eyes see only so deep?" She wondered out loud. Kagome took a deep breath as she pondered the statement. How could she see without her eyes? Had she ever done something like that before?

Kagome snorted in a very un-Kagome like way. She could not think of one time she had been able to see without sight. She was not a demon with an enhanced sense of smell or with enhanced hearing. She was nothing more than a woman with an uncanny ability to use magical spiritual powers and none of those powers were able to let her see without her eyes—

She froze suddenly at the thought and looked back at Inuyasha on the tree. "I have seen without my eyes before."

More than once her powers had given her the ability to see without eyes. She had seen Akkanka's string without her eyes. She had done that before even long before she was a trained Miko, with Yura of the Hair—with Yura's own form of strings.

Kagome snapped her eyes towards Inuyasha as another thought struck her. There had been one more thing Kagome had been able to see without even trying, one more thing she had looked at more than anything else with her powers.

"The Shikon." She said out loud as she looked at the arrow where Kaede had pointed. She stretched out her power, pushing it forward and towards Inuyasha. His body glowed when her energy made contact with his and Kagome gapped as a faint glow showed around his chest area. "The Shikon is on Inuyasha!"

She stepped forward till she was so close she could have simply tilted her head to kiss him and touched the spot where the material glowed as she looked at him without her eyes. Her hands touched something round and hard that was logged underneath his Haori.

Without a second thought Kagome worked the cloths opened pulling the fabric down the arrow and away from him so it hung loosely at his sides. There, flush against his skin was the Shikon no Toma, pierced by the arrow in his chest.

For a moment Kagome thought her mind was going to explode. If this was the Shikon no Toma and she was currently inside the Shikon no Toma, then how was she looking at it pierced to her husband's chest?

Kagome shook her head violently, trying to eradicate the thought and instead turned her eyes onto the arrow in Inuyasha's chest.

"I guess," She whispered, "I can remove it the same way I did before." She finished as she brought her hand up and wrapped her fingers tightly around the arrow.

An unnatural glow came over her body at the contact and she closed her eyes as she channeled every bit of strength she had into the arrow, gripping it as tightly as she could she closed her eyes. With one short burst of power the arrow disintegrated and the Shikon jewel fell. It hit the ground with a slight thud and bounced a few times before it rolled a good ten feet away and stopped.

Kagome watched it fascinated as a hand came up and wrapped around her waist. She looked back shocked and then smiled with all the love in her eyes that she had in her heart. "Inuyasha."

He looked back at her—the same amount of love matching in his own. "Kagome."

The two were overcome by their love in that instance and allowed themselves to bend into the other, their lips meeting in a loving sea of bliss. Inuyasha's arms wrapped around Kagome's midsection pulling her flush against him in a heavy needy way. The sensation made Kagome gasp into his mouth and he took advantage of the action, diving his tongue into her tasting the sweet task that was Kagome. Her hands came into his hair pulling him more firmly against her as his hands traveled up and down her back.

It felt like it had been forever sense they had seen each other, felt each other, or been with each other. And because of this, their need began to overwhelm them. They wanted to confirm that the other was there, that this was real and not an illusion of the Shikon no Toma that they were both within and in front of.

Both exhausted they parted and rested their foreheads together with their eyes still tightly closed. "Kagome—," He said airily. "I'm sorry I couldn't help you."

Her eyes snapped opened and she looked at him with a mild tremor running down her back. It stopped at her spin, where his hand rested and then went all the way back up to her neck causing her to smile at him softly. "You did help me." She said as she reached up a hand and touched his cheek. "You were there for me, in my heart."

He smiled and kissed her lightly, pulling back quickly so she wouldn't deepen the kiss and make his resolve shatter. "Thank you, for choosing me."

"What?"

He looked at her with eyes so in love that Kagome was scared to be on the receiving end of his look. "I saw, I was the human Inuyasha—I thought," He whispered while bringing his hand up to scratch the back of his head. "I thought you would choose the human me but—you didn't."

"Inuyasha, I love you for you."

"I know—but,"

She watched him with her head tilted to the side and her eyes clouded over with both happiness and sadness. "But—sometimes it's hard to remember that someone loves you for you, when the whole world tells you that's impossible."

He huffed and shook his head at her with a half grin on his face. "You know me too well."

She giggled and rubbed one of his puppy ears causing him to growl in delight.

"I can't believe how pure you are Kagome."

His words caused Kagome to blink and turn away from him to the spot the jewel now sat behind them. "I'm supposed to purify it."

Inuyasha looked past her at the jewel and nodded confused. "I thought you already had."

"No—the first time I wasn't ready—I made the wrong wish—and the jewel ended up in Mika."

"The wrong wish?" Inuyasha licked his lips, he wasn't even sure what she had wished the first time. Kagome had never told anyone how she had purified the jewel, only that it had been done. "What did you wish for?"

Kagome looked down as if embarrassed as she separated from him and wrung her hands together. "I wished for something selfish," she whispered out as she refused to look him in the eye.

"What selfish thing could you possibly wish for? You're the most unselfish person I know."

Kagome gulped and looked down at her outfit, the hakama was turning a soft pink, she felt her heart leap in her chest. The very thought of her last wish was causing her cloths to turn back to the tainted color of the original Miko. Closing her eyes she collected herself. The only way to be pure right now was to admit her faults and accept them. "I wished," She said in a faint voice as she opened her eyes just in time to see Inuyasha's ears twitch on his head. "I wished to stay with you."

Inuyasha's eyes went wide as he and Kagome looked at each other with a new understanding. "To stay with me?"

Kagome nodded embarrassed. "I wasn't sure if the well would close, if we would be separated forever or not and I didn't want that. I want to be with you always and this was the only way I knew how. So I made the wish and it was wrong—it was selfish."

Inuyasha shook his head and brought her into a tight hug. "I'm glad you made it."

"You are?" Kagome pulled away and looked at him pointedly, he smiled.

"Who knows where we would be if you hadn't."

The stared at each other for some time both lost in their own thoughts of love and pure devotion for one another. The sweet moment was only interrupted by and unnatural wind hitting them, causing them to turn and look at the source.

Their eyes became fixated on the Shikon no Toma which was gusting wind on the ground, its pink visage a familiarity they both enjoyed but wanted to end.

Inuyasha reached out and pulled her to himself again as he looked at the jewel. He had been trapped in this spot for almost two weeks—aware of every battle Kagome had faced alone—but now, he stood at his rightful place by her side, his arms shielding her from all harm. He smiled and dropped his lips to her forehead briefly before looking down at Kagome who looked back up.

"Do you know what to wish for now?" He asked.

"Yes." Kagome replied without hesitation. "There is only one correct wish with the Shikon no Toma."

"One pure wish, right?"

"Yes, a wish for no personal gain. Only when we live life without personal gain, without hate, anger, jealousy, greed, envy, or pride, can we really be pure." Kagome thought about all the people she had purified in the white void. Each one of them had to overcome a part of themselves that was not pure—a part of themselves that was clouded with hate. "The only way to purify the Shikon no Toma," She said as she looked up at Inuyasha. "Is to make a wish not clouded, with no taint."

Inuyasha nodded but he really didn't understand. "I trust you," He said instead of anything else he ever could have. "I know you'll do what's right."

Kagome reached up and pressed her lips to his own. It was a sweet kiss with none of the intensity of their earlier one. She pulled back too soon for him and closed her eyes as she looked down at the ground at their feet, it was still brown—still dirt.

"Shikon no Toma." She called to the jewel as she thought of the one correct wish. "I'm ready to make my wish."

The Shikon seemed to grow more immense at the promise of a wish. It burst into an array of color that reminded Kagome of the flowers she had been surrounded with before. The colors danced around them like the northern lights, bright and captivating. Both Inuyasha and Kagome found themselves enlightened by the lights, it was like they were slowly being purified and yet both of them knew that anything involving the Shikon no Toma would not do anything good but only cause harm.

Kagome took a deep breath as she cleared all other thoughts from her mind with closed eyes. She saw before her the people she had saved from hate—Sasuga who had assisted in killing the innocent because he had no will of his own—Kyoudai whose jealousy and envy had caused him to take a life in greed— Meiyo whose envy had made him bitter and vengeful—Sugoi whose own prejudice had caused her to hate those who had done nothing but been born—and Airashii whose anger and blame had caused her to hate the innocent including her own son.

Kagome opened her eyes then and thought of her own tainted feelings. She thought of her jealousy for Kikyo and gently tucked it away into her heart—if she could simply accept that part of Inuyasha, the part that would always love her then she was pure. She thought of her anger at Akkanka for trying to ruin her life and gently let it go as if it was carried away on a breeze—she knew that Akkanka had not been himself in his anger. She then thought of her anger at Meiyo and let it gently run away from her—he was a man wronged and he had acted according to his grief.

She thought about the people who scorned her for having a demon for a husband and spawning his child and grinned—prejudice could not sway her feelings—so she forgave them. One by one Kagome forgave everyone who had ever wronged her, every person who had ever done her poorly, until finally she opened her eyes fully to the scene in front of her—the one correct wish floating to her on the breeze.

There was only one way to get rid of the Shikon no Toma, to make a wish so unbiased, so untainted, so pure, that there was no way the Shikon could possibly manipulate it.

"Shikon no Toma," She said with confidence in her voice. "Disappear."

With those words, the Shikon no Toma shattered into a million pieces, never to be seen again.

End of Chapter

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