Monday 11th November 2013

I walk into the restaurant with feelings of nervousness, I'm only meeting my Mother in law for lunch, taking time from the office to entertain her, simply because she wouldn't take no for an answer. But that's Grace. I'm beginning to learn when she really wants something done she will get it done and that is true for just having lunch with one of her daughter's in law.

I spot her sitting in the furthest booth, her hair pinned back showing off her elegant neck and smooth face. She's so beautiful and she doesn't look even half her age. As her eyes find me, she smiles sincerely and I feel a little more confident in walking to her as she stands to greet me in a hug and kiss.

"Oh Ana, where have you been hiding?" She scolds as I sink into the booth, Grace has moved the table more in her direction, it's obvious, because no way would my bump fit otherwise.

"Sorry Grace, it's been hectic at the office." I shrug, it's true. I couldn't lie to Grace if I tried.

"Hmm." Grace says passing me a menu, something tells me she has some opinions on that but isn't planning on sharing yet.

I order a simple potato and leek soup to start while Grace opts for the shrimp cocktail and while we wait she examines my face and what she can see from my body.

"Even pregnant you manage to lose weight." She says, I frown, how's that even possible and how the hell could she tell. "Your face, it's gaunt, your eyes are withdrawn. You've lost weight in your face." I roll my eyes.

"I feel like a puffer fish."

"Well you don't look like one. What has your midwife said about this?"

"She's monitoring it." I reply, I saw Sally yesterday and she lectured me continuously about how I've lost weight, not too much really but enough that it could affect the baby. Thankfully Christian had important stuff at the office and I persuaded him he didn't need to be at the appointment, he would have gone thermonuclear if he'd heard everything Sally had to say.

"Good, I'm glad someone is, that son of mine obviously is too busy to notice that his wife's getting pale and looking sick."

"Oh he's noticed." I say sarcastically and she frowns in my direction. "He just doesn't need to know the details Grace, he worries too much as it is and I worry he won't have any damn hair left of he continues to run his fingers through it."

"Would you love him any less if he was bald?" She teases and winks just as our starters arrive.

"Of course not." I chuckle before digging in.

As we eat we talk about the most mundane things, Mia's life in LA and the little Bistro she went and blew some money on, money we both know Christian gave her but we won't say out loud. I love that he has given her the start-up fund for her career, it's not like we'll ever come across any monetary issues.

Once our starters and order our main meals I can see Grace's demeanour change before my eyes, something is obviously bothering her and there's something she wants to say but she isn't sure how to get it out.

"You shouldn't be working." She eventually says as I sip at my juice, I almost choke but manage not to perform a spit take.

"I'm sorry, right now it's necessary."

"No it isn't, not if you hired another PA. You should be resting, getting the AMA's out of the way and enjoying what's left of your pregnancy." Grace isn't saying this softly, it's almost unlike the woman I have gotten to know and love.

"I can't right now Grace, I still walk into AG expecting Hannah to rush over to me with everything I need for the day. I can't comprehend hiring someone else."

"She'd want you to."

"I know that." I scowl, I do, Hannah wouldn't want me to be in the third trimester of my pregnancy, rushing around doing the most menial of tasks that normally she would complete on my behalf but for my own sanity right now I'm not thinking of hiring someone else.

"Then think about that Ana, Are you enjoying being pregnant and preparing for the baby to arrive?"

"We're ready. Christian is preparing to have the nursery done while we're on the babymoon and India's with you for the weekend, we have everything we need because of all the shopping I did with Luke in preparation for baby Hannah's arrival and I'm not doing this for the first time." It's so hard right now not to snap but I'm already being accused of pushing people away and Grace is one of those I don't want to push away.

"How's Luke settling in at your house?" Grace kindly asks, finally changing the subject as our main meals arrive, mine some boiled potatoes with chicken and her, a seafood pasta.

"He's ok, getting there. We help him with Hannah as much as he'll let us but he seems to be handling it all now, he's calmer and he seems happier."

"Are you sure it's not a front?"

"No." I smile, I know Luke, I know his happiness because I got to witness it first time. "There are times where you can see his sadness so clearly and my heart breaks for him Grace but we talked, he mentioned a few things he wanted to do over the next couple of years, things Hannah wanted to do. I told him maybe some of them we could do together because Hannah mentioned them to me. Silly things some of them like see the northern lights but I guess it's something we could do to remember her by."

"That would be nice."

"Yeah." I agree with a smile.

"Do you think he'll be staying with you long?"

"I don't know." I shrug, we haven't given Luke any hint that we want him out because he is welcome in our home as long as he wants to be, he's taking time off and I'm using Ryan and Oreon as my security. I do miss him though, as my best friend and security, but I understand he needs time. "He did mention something about going home in time for Christmas but we'll see."

"Well maybe he has a goal, I mean he's still working with a psychiatrist isn't he?"

"Yeah, he's getting there Grace, he will be ok."

"You wouldn't let him be anything else." She smiles holding my hand over the table, she's right there. I wouldn't.