MAX POV
"Mom?" I croak, opening my eyes.
"I'm here,"she whispers, taking my hand.
"What happened?" I ask.
"Iggy called me," she says," And I came, and I gave you something to stop your labor."
"You came, after everything that I've done," I whimper.
"Of course I did," she soothes.
"I'm so sorry."
"Don't be," she says," We've all done things that we wish we could take back."
"Some of us more than others," I tell her.
"You didn't do anything wrong. You were protecting your daughter."
"I know, but looking back now I think that I was wrong with how I did it," I sigh.
"Well, if what Angel was willing to tell me about her is true, you did an excellent job of raising her," my mom smiles, rubbing circles on my hand with her thumb," I hear that she's quit the image of you, in most ways."
"You could say that," I chuckle softly," She isn't me though."
"Of course not, sweetheart," she assures me," No one could ever be you. And speaking of your little mini-you, were is she?"
"She's in Germany, with her husband, and Fang, " I say.
"Wow," my mom murmurs," Already married."
"Yeah, tell me about it. The last time I saw her was when she was eleven. And then two months ago this woman shows up. I missed some of the most important years of her life."
"That tends to be the feeling of all mother, whether or not you miss those years in between being a girl and an adult," she sighs.
"It's really amazing," I tell her.
"Ha," my mom laughs," You're telling me."
"I guess you can relate."
"Yeah," she smiles," How old is she again?"
"She just turned twenty last month," I whisper, not believing it myself.
"And what's her name?" my mom asks.
"You already k ow her name," I breathe, disbelieving that she doesn't know.
"I mean her full name sweetie," my mom laughs.
"Oh," I say, slightly embarrassed," Ashler Ella Marie Ride, but I guess that it's just Ash Mares now."
"Well that's a little bit of a mouthful," she utters," And Valencia isn't even in her name."
"I had just turned sixteen when I had her," I retort," And I'm sorry about not incorporating your name."
"It's fine," she smiles," I was only kidding. It's a beautiful name, honey."
"Okay..." I mumble.
"Do you have any pictures of her?" Mom asks," I think the pictures that Ella showed me are a little out of date, by about fifteen years."
"Yeah," I yawn," There are pictures from her wedding on the top shelf, in my closet."
"Great!" she exclaims, letting go of my hand.
She stands up, and walks over to my closet. I watch as she opens the closet door, and stands on her tip toes. Her hands begin to feel around the right side of , for the pictures.
"They're on the left side," I tell her.
Just as she pulls her hands out of the closet, and brings her feet back to the ground, something falls to the floor. I sit up, a little bit, craning my neck to see what it is. My mom leans over, and picks it up. when she stand back up I can see that she's holding a picture in her hands. Her eyes scan across the paper.
"It's for you," she says, holding it out to me.
"I don't understand," I tell her.
"I think it's a letter," she elaborates," And judging by the look of it, I'd say that it's old. As in probably about twenty years old."
NOTE:
Madhavi is pronounced Maud-vee
Marya is pronounced Muh-ray-uh (Mary is Marya's nickname)
Nani means grandmother
Mata means mother
Pallev is pronounced Puh-lev
FANG POV
"Give Nani a hug before we go," Mary tells me.
"My Marya, always in hurry to get somewhere," Madhavi laughs, pulling me into her arms.
"Yes, yes, I know,"Mary sighs," But we really need to go."
"Oh, fine," Madhavi says, releasing me," You can go."
"Thank you mata," Mary smiles, giving Madhavi a kiss.
"I love you, Marya," Madhavi whispers.
"I love you too, mata," Mary tells Madhavi," But don't call me Marya."
"Always so dramatic," Madhavi rolls her eyes," I'll never understand why she can't just use the name I gave her."
"Because Marya is not an American name, but Mary is."
"Whatever you say Marya," Madhavi chuckles.
I sit up in my seat. When I look over, I find Ash staring at me.
"Did you sleep well?" she asks.
"I guess," I mumble.
"Seemed like you were having an interesting dream," she muses.
"It was about my mother, grandmother," I tell her.
"Care to tell?"
"Why not?" I sigh," I haven't told you about them yet.
MAX POV
I'm about to get out of bed, when she tells me to stop. Right. I'm on bed rest. This is really going to suck. I can't even get out of bed to take a freaking letter from my mom. This is pathetic. She walks over, and hands me the letter. I open it as quickly as I can.
August 5, 2010
Dear Max,
I know that when I left I told not to look for me, but I can't stop thinking about how I was wrong to say that. I realize that telling you all this defeats the purpose of me leaving to protect you, however I'm selfish when it comes to you. I need you so badly. It's nearly impossible for me to live without you. I'm not saying that you have to come, I'm just saying that if you ever need help, and you'll let me give it, I'm here for you.
It was wrong of me to leave you in the way that I did, but I think that looking back, even you can understand how there was really no other way for me to leave. I knew that I had to leave when you weren't there, or else it would have been too hard, for the both of us. We've been through so much, and been hurt so many times, but when I left you it was by far the most painful thing that I've ever done.
I know you may never forgive me for what I've done, and heck I may never forgive myself, but if you're willing to try, so am I. I miss you, Max, much more than you will ever know. The thing that I want to tell you most of all is that I love you. I love the way you smile, the way your hair hits the light, the way you kiss, and the way your warm chocolate eyes glow in the sun. I love you. I love you. I love you.
I really should stop now. This letter isn't to process the love that you already know about, but to reaffirm it. It's also to tell you how to find me. I never told you this, but when I went to Dr. Gunther-Hagan he told me about my mother. He explained to me that some years ago he worked with a man named Jefferson Carlyle. Jefferson and his wife Madhavi had a daughter named Mary. When Mary was sixteen she got pregnant. Jefferson took this as an opportunity to copy what Hans had don with his on grandchild, and experiment on Mary and her unborn child. When Mary gave birth she was told by her father that her baby had died, when in reality the baby was taken to the School. Mary had gone through her entire pregnancy not knowing that her baby wasn't normal. The only person who knew anything about what the baby really was was Jefferson. Madhavi, and Mary never knew that the baby lived. They never knew that he grew up in a cage, or that he had wings. Most of all, they didn't know that the past would show up at their doorstep.
When I showed up Mary almost immediately accepted who I was. I had barley even told I was her son when she pulled me into her arms. Maybe there was always a piece of her deep down that tilde her that I was still alive. And while Jefferson had died a few years before, and he couldn't back up my story, it was clear that I wasn't lying. Even Madhavi knew who I was.
"He looks just like Pallev," Madhavi said, when she saw me.
As it turns out, I'm three quarters Indian. Madhavi, and Mary have been teaching me everything about the culture. It's truly beautiful. I only wish that you could see all the colorful saris that Madhavi wears. I've only been with them for two weeks, and yet I don't think I've ever felt so at home. It's amazing to finally know what it feels like to know who your family is, and where you belong. For once I don't wonder about who I am, even if Mary is keeping Pallev (my father) a secret.
I know that the past six months can't have been easy for you, and so I'm taking this chance to try to fix what I've done. I realize that i said this was for if you needed help, but in all honesty, I want you to be with me Max. I'm in downtown Chicago, waiting for you. I won't be too specific about where I am, since I know that I could simply tell you that I'm in the eastern United States and you'd still find me.
Oh, Max, I could go on forever, but I know that if I do you'll never be done reading, and you'll never find me. Please remember how much I love you.
I'm waiting,
Fang
I drop the letter on the bed. Normally I would try to hold back my tears, but right now I can't. I never saw this letter. I could have found him. My mom leans over, and takes the letter from me. She must be curios as to what could bring me to tears.
"He never really left," she whispers.
""The date," I cry," What was the date?"
"August 5th, 2010," she answers.
That was four months after I left the Flock, and a mere two weeks after I had given birth to Ash. I I hadn't have left I would have been there when this letter came, and I could have found Fang. Ash could have had a completely different life. She could have had a father, and siblings that aren't twenty years younger than her. She could have always had me there, but instead I left the Flock. I never knew that I could have found him.
ANGEL POV
"I really should have heard from her by now," I sigh, setting my cell phone down on the counter.
"She's probably off exploring with Ian," Nudge tells me.
"Seriously, Nudge?"
"What?" she asks, reaching up into the cupboard, to grab a box of macaroni.
"I have talked to her nearly every single day for the past eight months. She's one of my best friends. Do you really think that she wouldn't call me?" I rant.
"Maybe her phone died," Nudge offers, setting the box down onto the counter.
"They went to Germany, not the moon, Nudge," I huff.
"Look," Nudge says, pulling out a pot," I don't know what to tell you."
"Not like you ever do," I mutter.
"What is that supposed to mean?" she asks, setting the pot down, with a loud noise.
"You aren't exactly the best person to go to for advice."
"Oh, really?" she demands, narrowing her eyes.
"Yes," I say.
"And how, may I ask, did you come to this conclusion?" she presses.
"Oh, just forget it," I hiss," This isn't worth it."
"I don't think I will," Nudge says," This is worth it to me. I want to know what you mean."
"Fine!" I growl, letting my voice begin to raise," You want to know what I'm talking about? Well I'll tell you! You think that it's only normal that Ash should go for long periods of time, since she wasn't raised talking to her mother everyday! I'm sorry if Max didn't keep her daughter on such a tight leash! In case you forgot, Max couldn't really be there. It's not Max's fault! You'd think that after she raised you you'd have a little bit more sense! I can't honestly believe that you can't see that you're ruining your daughters life. If that girl so much as get fifteen feet away from you you freak out! All you do all the time is micromanage that poor girl. I know you pretend that you're going to let her do ally these things, but you never do! Like with the boarding school thing, she wants to go so badly, but she knows you'll never let her. And when you tell her that she can't go she won't even say a word against your decision, because she always knew that the answer was no. Did you ever even think to ask what she wants? Bo, you didn't, because if you did you would know that all she ever wanted from you is some space, and a younger sibling!"
I watch as she takes a couple of steps backwards. I know I shouldn't of said those things, but I've been holding them in for too long. I'm so tired of her being a control freak. She thinks that if she controls everything she has a perfect life. To her it's almost as if she thinks that she'll feel normal. But in case she forgot, we aren't.
"Do you really think that?" she ask, with her voice wavering.
"Yes," I say.
"Then, if we're being honest, I don't think that you should stay here anymore," she tells me.
"Alright, I'll be out of here by tomorrow, and Mark too."
I can tell by the her face changes that she also regrets what she said. However much regretful it is, it's also just as equally truthful. Looking back now, I can see that this has been coming for some time. I was always bound to snap, it was just a matter of when.
"So that's it then, I guess," she sighs.
"I guess," I counter, as I begin to make my way to the door," Well, I'd better go start packing."
NUDGE POV
"Can I come in?" I ask, knocking on the door.
"Yeah," Kinsey calls.
"Hey," I say, pushing open the door," Can we talk?"
"Sure."
"I've decided something," I tell her, sitting down on the bed.
A worried look crosses her face. Maybe Angel was a tiny bit right.
"What is it?" she asks cautiously.
"I've decided to let you go to that school in New York," I say.
"Really?" she gasps," What did dad say?"
"He didn't say anything," I answer," Because he doesn't know that I'm letting you go. He's wanted you to go all along, but I said no, but you probably already knew that."
"Thank you so much!" the cries, throwing her arms around my neck.
"No problem," I mumble.
"What's wrong?" she asks, pulling back.
"I never told you why I didn't have any more babies after you," I start," And I think now is a good time to tell you."
"Alright," Kinsey says.
"You had a twin," I sigh.
"I did?"
"Yes," I confirm, letting Angel's words replay in my mind," When I lost the other baby, I felt so helpless, and not in control. I decided that since I couldn't control what happened, I wouldn't ever put myself in another situation where I wouldn't be in control, which meant no more kids. I became more controlling after that, as you can tell, and that's pretty much how we got to where we are now."
"So does this mean that you're giving up some control?" she asks.
"I guess it does," I tell her.
"And does mean I might have a younger brother or sister one day?"
"Maybe," I laugh," Just maybe."
ANGEL POV
"Alright," I say grabbing the remote off the bed," We need turn off the tv. I really need your help packing. I told her that we'd be out of hear by tomorrow."
"You can't be seriously be going through with this," he says, giving me a blank stare.
"I am, now get up," I tell him.
"Shhhh," he hisses.
"Don't you dare shush me," I growl.
"No, seriously!" he exclaims, not taking his eyes off of the tv ," You need to stop talking, this is really important."
I move my gaze over to the tv. Whatever movie is that he's been watching has been interrupted for a National announcement. I watch as the White House seal fades, just as a representative approaches the podium.
"First, fore mostly I would like to apologize on behalf of the White House for interrupting your evening. As much as we would prefer to not interrupt your activities, we feel that this currently takes precedence. At 14:00 President Hudson formally resigned from his duties. At 14:05 Vice President Larson formally resigned from his post as well. While Secretary Alderson has taken office, she has elected to not permanently retain the position. President Alderson has stated that it would not be fair for her to permanently assume the duties or president, as she did not run for the position. President Alderson feel that a new president should be elected, from a pool of candidates. The candidates will be chosen by their previous actions, and by that of which that the nation desires expressively. The new president will be voted on blindly. The nation will fairly select a new president based on qualities, and not gender or bias. On November 18, 2030, in one months time, information regarding the presidential candidates will be released. While President Alderson will not be officially sworn into office, the White House asks that you treat her as would treat former President Hudson. We would like to thank you in advance for you cooperation, and your understanding, as we know that it is no small task on your part. Good evening
I watch, dumbfounded, as she steps away from the podium, and disappears behind the White House seal.
"What does this mean?" I whisper, dropping the remote.
"I don't know," he says, taking my hand," But there's definitely more to it than they're willing to tell us."
"This isn't right," I tell him," Alderson should have taken the position."
"Unless she was told not to."
"But who would tell her not to take the presidency?" I ask.
"Someone who has tactic, and power," he answers," And someone who wants to be elected."
Well that was a little bit of a lengthy one. It took me two whole weeks to finish this, so I hope you like it. This chapter had a ton going on.
PLEASE REVIEW! AND GIVE SUGGESTIONS!
~Lillie :)
