Along the road between Willowbottom and Bywater
Green Hill County, "The Shire"
Western Region of "Eriador",
Continent of "Endor", Planet EE-L5
It was mid-morning now, and the sun was shining brightly as the five made their way along the dirt road ahead of them. The landscape around them was simply breathtaking – from scenic mountain peaks down to the verdant fields of green, the quaint rolling hills and villages dotting them. It reminded Miranda almost of... well, what else but a New Zealand tourism commercial?
At that moment, Miranda Riversong was leading the group, perched upon her Company™-made 21-speed Park Trek-80 Touring Bike - in their infinite wisdom, the management had packed several dozen of this over on the Horizonte, probably with the intent that colony personnel would bike whenever possible to conserve fuel and encourage healthy lifestyles. While folks still used bikes for traveling around within each colony, now that the planets had turned out to be a little more dangerous than initial thought, longer bike tours were out of the question. In order to get approval for today's little tour, she had to use her higher rank in the colony management, as well as bringing Dino's dad on board to see if he didn't mind moving a few Credits around to get it done.
Up ahead was a flat stretch of the road with little obstacles, so she had the time to turn her head around and look back. Dino Smith and his dad, Maxwell, were riding on the next two bikes behind her. Dino was a young fellow just like her, who also held one of the higher managerial posts at Beautiful Horizon. His dad, Max, didn't actually work for The Company™, but was a former exec at R.E.Y. Outdoors & Sporting Goods, Inc. He had recently retired from the board there, but the shares he still held in REY were enough that he could afford to pay some good money to get himself a seat on the Horizonte for the ultimate retirement celebration adventure (that, and the connections he had made through his son certainly didn't hurt). Well, what an adventure it sure must've turned out to be for him, even if he hadn't been allowed to leave the colony as much as he would have liked. Max was still pretty young, only in his 50's, and pretty fit, so at least he didn't end up being "the load" as everyone thought he would be. To be fair, no-one in the group really held that "honor" - apart from Max, they were all in their mid-20's to early 30's, had all been carefully vetted by The Company™ when they had all been chosen for this mission years ago... well, most of them anyway. From what Max had said about the month or so he'd just been spending over on L4, not all of staff at Autumn's Frontier were the most vetted, so to speak.
Right behind Dino and his dad rode Christopher Trembley. Chris, like her and like Dino too, was one of the managers working right under Teller and Cheong. He had been with them when they had first gone to Minas Tirith all those months ago, had grown close with the two of them. At that moment, he had been designated the group's unofficial DJ, his MyPhone kept in the front pouch on his bike, the little loudspeaker proving to actually be pretty loud when turned up to max volume, sending its beats blaring across the green hills around them. Right now, it was playing The Zombies' "Time Of The Season" and other hits from around the time period 1968 to '73.
And bringing up the rear of their motley crew was Abigail Flanagan. Abi actually worked for the Bio-Med division over at Crimson EquinoX, but had come on the last inbound Valk; she needed a break from L-Zero, and more importantly, had come to see her. They kept in touch frequently, but things had been so busy ever since they arrived that neither of them had the time to spare a few days to visit each other until now. L5, being the safer planet, was the first choice for a reunion, but Miranda supposed she would go visit L-Zero one day, just once The Company™ had been there a while and things were a little safer there... which would probably be a long while. Regardless, it was good to have her here, and on a world where it was finally somewhat safe to go out of bounds, provided that they all carried appropriate self-defense gear and always stayed together as a group. Abi looked forward and smiled; Miranda smiled back, and then turned back to facing forward as the road ahead of them continued to wind its way across the countryside.
Come to think of it, it hadn't actually been very difficult to convince Teller that they all needed a break, after what they been through at the colony over the last week. Most of the Credits that Mr. Smith Sr. had been kind enough to spring for them actually went towards securing the fuel rations needed for the Falcon ride here and for the return trip when they would be picked up again after the long weekend.
And my god, what a week it had been. The news from Isengard had hit everyone at the colony like a brick. Still thinking about it made Miranda furious - all those poor Rohanian girls, kidnapped from their homes, forced to endure months of all that... that... ugh, she didn't want to think of it now, let it darken the mood on their holiday, but she knew that once they got back, that would be their next big task. Not all of the victims they had rescued could be returned to Rohan at once. Many were suffering from severe health problems or were on the edge of death when they were found, and Rohan just didn't have the capacity to care for everyone. The Company™ and the UN had graciously reached out to take care of the remainder, but that was a daunting task and though the colony had grown much since they had first made landfall, she wondered if they had the facilities to house everyone, let alone the medical supplies and personnel to spare.
To that end, the Elves who had come to Isengard had been a huge help. They were graceful, elegant, and yeah pretty arrogant know-it-alls as well, but they had done more than their fair share of the work in caring for and healing the victims of Saruman's atrocities. To make sure there was as little conflict as possible between the parties, it had been agreed that Lothlorien and The Company™ would divide up which refugees either side would take custody of, although there would still be close coordination between the two at the operations level - not least of all because The Company™ had taken an active interest in the market value of Elven thaumic potential and this whole affair had been a great opportunity to reach out to these otherwise notoriously isolationist folk. Miranda secretly hoped that she would be chosen to be their ambassador to the Elves; the realm they hailed from must have been every bit as beautiful as the people who inhabited it. And she secretly wished Abi would join her too - from what she had gathered, L-Zero's own brand of the Aelfus species were considerably less hospitable...
Yeah. Suffice to say, they all needed a holiday. Teller needed one too, but it was near impossible to convince him to let things go for a bit. She couldn't fault him.
Before long, they came across their first native encounter. Miranda held up her hand, and came to a stop on the side of the road, and the rest of her fellow touring cyclists followed suit. Up ahead, moving in the opposite way they were heading, was a large wooden wagon, pulled by four head of oxen. It was loaded to well above what looked like a safe maximum limit, with dozens of canvas bags tied tightly and secured to the wagon with liberal applications of rope, and as a result it achieved a top speed probably not much faster than walking at a brisk pace. Yes, it sure had a long journey ahead of it. The driver of this cart was seated at the front of it, grasping tightly in his hands the reins and a driving whip for keeping his beasts of burden in-line. He was yet a few dozen meters away or so, but Miranda could already make out some of the details.
He was a male of diminutive stature, just like the rest of the hominid subspecies that inhabited this region, and looked comically tiny next to the large wagon and oxen he was attempting to control. His clothes were simple, like some yeoman farmer that almost made her think of stereotypes about the Amish (most of which weren't true; most Amish now lived pretty modern lives out on the Colonies, since 3D fabrication tech granted their communities a lot of amenities without sacrificing their belief in self-reliance. Still, though, some stereotypes are hard to kick). His stature made him appear a child from a distance, but as he drew closer, Miranda could make out some of the details of the furrows and poor facial complexion on his face that showed that clearly he was in fact much older.
By now, the driver had noticed the group of tourists who were pulled up on the side of the road just ahead of him, and understandably, his face showed a mix of shock and confusion and perhaps curiosity as well. The wagon trundled to a stop, as if he didn't know how best to approach these strangers in their strange clothes, atop those strange two-wheeled carts, or if it was just preferable to ignore them altogether and move along. They'd been warned of course that the hominid subspecies who inhabited this region were notoriously insular even by the standards of the rest of the world. Miranda turned and quickly commanded Chris to turn off the music, which he did so (it was now blaring away with Norman Greenbaum and the "Spirit In The Sky").
"What's he got loaded up in that wagon?" asked Abi, pulling her bike up alongside Miranda's.
Dino took a good whiff and wrinkled his nose. "Yeah, I can smell it from here. Is that... what I think it is?"
"It sure is, son!" spoke Max, clapping Dino on the shoulder. "Ah, brings back old memories. Back in my day, we used to grow our own stuff, not like you kids and all that artificially-synthesized garbage you smoke today."
"Well, what're we waiting for?" smiled Chris, "they speak Westron, which is English. And they'll accept those Gondorian coins we brought from the colony."
Max, ever the businessman he was even in retirement, had already lain his bike down and was now striding over to where the native's wagon was stopped, smiling and waving. He addressed him as such: "Good day, old chap! Splendid day to be out and about, isn't it?"
The Hobbit continued to stare wide-eyed at him for a moment, before he finally replied: "Yer not from around 'ere, are ya?"
"My name is Max," spoke Dino's dad, cheerfully, "my companions and I are just travelin' around these parts, looking for interesting new places to visit and new things to do. And we were wondering if maybe you could help us out. And you, my good sir, are...?" As he spoke, he casually reached down and started playing with the pouch he kept on his belt.
The Hobbit continued to stare blankly at him, but now Miranda could see that the sound of the coins clinking on Max's belt was starting to overcome any initial compunctions he may have harbored.
"Lotho Sackville Baggins, at yer service," spoke the Hobbit as he put down the reins and stood up from his seat. He was only a mere four feet in height, but thanks to his perch atop the wagon, he was now looking down on Mr. Smith.
"Lotho, it's nice to meet you," continued Max, "so... if I may ask, where's an enterprising lad like you heading out today with all this... stuff?"
"Just to a... very important customer."
Miranda frowned. Maybe she was just naturally suspicious after all she had seen, but she could only think of one "very important person" in this region that would warrant being so secretive about. Maybe he was just innocently referring to some other noble person living in the southeastern part of The Shire. Maybe. But from the looks of it, Max too had caught onto this...
"Well, good luck," said Max, "be careful though. It's not safe. Even with Isengard defeated and Saruman dead, I heard that some of his ruffians are still wandering around these parts, except probably more dangerous now without someone to command them."
Sure enough, Miranda's suspicions were vindicated. The look on Lotho's face said it all. "Sorry, uh, could you repeat that?" he asked.
"Sure," replied Max, matter-of-factly, "didn't you hear the news? Rohan and some Elves along with some people from beyond the stars attacked Isengard and wrecked the place, and killed the White Wizard. They rescued a couple thousand young Rohanians that Saruman had been keeping prisoner and doing awful things to them. And now Dunland is in complete chaos; bloody savages, at least Saruman kept them in-line."
"Oh..." muttered Lotho, "I... was not aware of that. Uh... yes, forgive me, news travels slowly in these 'ere parts."
Miranda shot a side-glance at Abi, who just rolled her eyes. Yep, it seems they knew now where this fellow had been going...
"Anyway," continued Max, "sorry about holding you up, I'm sure your 'very important customer' doesn't want to be kept waiting."
"What do you want?" blurted Lotho.
"Directions, first and foremost," said Max, pulling out his MyPhone, "we have a map of The Shire Gondor gave us, but it's old and probably out-of-date. Moreover, it doesn't say, for example, where are all the best places to eat, where are the best places to stay, all the best sights to see, where can we get the best rates on everything. The Shire doesn't exactly have Priceline or anything. And I see you're busy, but if you know anyone around these parts who'd be a good tour guide, that's one. Two is..." he rolled his eyes towards the pile of sacks stacked high in the wagon, "...I spoke with a... Mr. Gandalf? His name ring a bell? I think he's pretty well-known around here. Before we left, he told us that the finest stuff, grown fresh and organically here in the Shire, runs at about a dozen silvers for a pound. Of course, seeing as we are only poor tired travelers here, if you might be willing to offer a better price..."
It took a few more minutes of haggling, though clearly the news of Isengard's abrupt downfall and the loss of whom they imagined was Mr. Baggins' biggest customer meant that they were the ones negotiating from the stronger position, and by the end of it, Mr. Smith Sr. walked away from it with whatever little space he had left in his and in Dino's and Chris's backpacks too all taken up, and a grin on his face wider and more childish than even his son's. Mr. Baggins bade them good day, and set off again on his merry way - if not to Isengard, then perhaps to one of the other townships in the South and East Farthing districts of The Shire.
"Should we do something about him?" asked Abi as she watched the wagon trundling off away from them, "report him? He had dealings with the White Wizard."
"Report him to who?" replied Max, "it probably won't do much at all. Saruman's gone for good; Mr. Baggins can't do much harm now. Besides, at least he seems smart enough to know that it's always better dealing with the winning side."
"Yeah, and it looks like he didn't know anything about what Saruman was up to," added Chris. "I don't think we could hold him complicit in that. He's just trying to make a living."
"A lot of guys serving in Saruman's army and in Mordor's army are 'just trying to make a living'," muttered Miranda, a little annoyed.
"Guys, let's worry about this when we get back to the colony," piped up Dino, "no point arguing 'bout it now. Dad, any useful info?"
Max checked the notes he had taken down on his MyPhone. "Yeah. It's another twenty miles to Bywater from here. We'll have lunch there and move onwards to Hobbiton in the afternoon. How's that sound to everyone?"
The group remounted their bikes, and Abi took a moment to chide the boys: "frankly, guys, I don't think we'll nearly be able to smoke all of this stuff in just the long weekend."
"You kidding? Most of this is for my own consumption once we're back at the colony," laughed Max, "and if it's really as good as Mr. The Grey says it is, I'll have to track down Mr. Lotho again before we head back to Earth, make sure I've got a lifetime supply. Might have to make, ahem, special arrangements with UNASEC customs, but should be done. Alright kids, let's get a move-on."
Everyone agreed, and as they kicked off back on the trail, Chris put his music back on with the next song on his playlist...
Green Shire
"Well, take me back where the green hills roll, yeah,
Let me remember things I do love,
Stoppin' at the top where the Ringwraiths bite,
Ridin' along the riverbank at night,
Barefoot elves dancin' in the moonlight.
I can hear the One Ring callin' me,
Wonder if my hole's still there and homely.
Love to kick my feet way down the shallow water,
Shoo, fly, Dragon! Fly back to your mother!
Pick up a Ring, skip it 'cross the Green Shire.
Well..."
