Author's Note: Well, after switching internet companies, flooding, school starting, weird things, and stuff, it's been some amount of days and this will probably be the the last update for awhile because I really want to finish Butters' Guide and finish this story, I'm adding more chapters so I'm probably four-five chapters away from finishing, and on top of that I started some Crenny and- gah. Things. Good things, except I'm procrastinating school work but whatever. Anywho, thanks for reading! Hopefully I can crank out the last chapter of Butters' Guide tonight and tomorrow...
Chapter Forty-Nine: What We Deserve
"Lee, wake up."
"Don' wanna."
"Lee come ooonnn we're gonna be late for school." Butters moaned and wriggled away from Kenny as the strawberry blonde pushed down his elbow softly, not quite shaking him. "It's 6:30."
"Fuck school..."
"My ass ain't that big." Butters snorted as he laughed quietly and raised his head from the warm comfort of the pillows and blankets and saw Kenny fully dressed, looking wide awake.
"You, sir, are crazy." Kenny shrugged his shoulders and ran a hand through Butters' hair. "Why do they have to start school so damn early...?" Kenny took off his shirt, an old ZZ Top tee, and crawled on the bed. He turned Butters around so he lay on his back, which frustrated Butters until he felt Kenny straddle him.
"Because they're mean. Hows about..." Kenny trailed off, his fingers ghosting over the front of his pajama pants, short shorts that barely covered his backside; he only wore them when sleeping. "I give you a little morning... pick me up?" Butters raised an eyebrows and felt Kenny's cool fingers tug softly on the waistband of the tiny shorts and he just stared. He wore a lustful expression as his fingers ghosted over his cock, over the fabric. With every touch Butters' arousal awakened, faster than him at least, and soon his breath was coming out in ragged little pants and his body quivered slightly as he rocked his hips in time with the gentle, teasing ministrations.
Suddenly, however, Kenny pulled away and rolled off the bed. Butters whined in protest and reached down to his erection, which had made an impressive tent in the shorts. Kenny gave him a look, one that caused a shiver to run down Butters' spine and his cock to twitch, and just knew what Kenny had in mind.
"Did I say you could touch yourself?" Kenny asked sternly, yet quietly, in hopes that if Karen did wake up she wouldn't hear. Butters whimpered, mostly with excitement, and looked at Kenny, waiting for a command. He loved to be completely dominated, and Kenny was so good at it. "Get off the fucking bed and strip." A shudder ran over Butters' body as he scrambled up and quickly tore off his purple tank top and fleece yellow shorts. He felt Kenny's eyes soak in his body and he blushed darkly as he saw the taller boy's own cheeks flush slightly. "Good boy. Now..." Kenny said in his ear, his hot breath tickled his lobe and neck; his erection twitched once more. "what would you like me to do?" He felt Kenny's fingernails dig painfully into the soft, fleshy skin of his rump and he whined desperately. "Answer me, Leopold." He growled, scratching the skin hard enough to draw blood; he'd apologize profusely after. But now Butters saw the fierce glint in his eyes, mixed with the lust, and knew he wouldn't stop unless Butters told him to; which, of course, he wouldn't.
"I-I-I... suck me... anything... j-just..."
"No, what do you want." Kenny growled, biting his lobe roughly. In response, Butters yelped and instinctively tried to pull away, even if he wanted it. Kenny stopped him, however, and bit his collar bone. Butters tugged Kenny's hair and gasped as he felt his hips grind against his.
"Suck my dick." Butters blurted before he lost his voice in a mess of grunts and moans. Kenny slammed him against the wall and sank to his knees in one fluid motion,
"Is that all?" Kenny mewled, thumbs pressing into his inner thigh, which always drove him insane. Butters stammered incoherently as Kenny stroked his heavy member slowly, smearing the beads of pre-cum over his flushed head.
"M-m-make me come... a-and swallow." Kenny hummed and looked up at Butters with intentionally wide, innocent eyes as his lips wrapped around his tip. Butters groaned and thrust his head back against the wall, breaking the gaze between them momentarily. Yet as he felt Kenny take him in inch by inch he couldn't tear his eyes away. He should have gagged by now, Butters thought, yet Kenny seemed to live without gag reflexes as he took him completely. Butters could feel the back of his throat and the slight movements of his muscles as he hollowed his cheeks and sucked on him in an almost teasing manner.
Butters covered his mouth and moaned as he tried his hardest not to buck his hips; yet Kenny's hands weren't holding him down. He bobbed his head as if this were a natural gift and suckled on his arousal like it was keeping him alive. All the while he kept his eyes locked on Butters with that innocently mischievous look.
Butters' voice was tight and he found it harder and harder to stay standing. As if he read his thoughts, Kenny grabbed his legs, wrapped them on his shoulders, and pinned him against the wall so he'd stay standing. He cried out, louder and louder with every slight movement Kenny made. His shoulder slammed against the wall as he arched his back, slightly thrusting his hips on accident. Yet Kenny didn't stop or reach to pin down his hips. He did, however, pull his legs back down and still his movements.
"W-w-wha...? Ken, I'm sorry, please just let me-" Kenny shook his head and mumbled something, causing his cock to vibrate and feel the movements of his throat and tongue. "O-oh God..." he whined loudly at first in pleasure, then in misery as Kenny pulled his mouth away with a soft popping noise. Saliva ran down his lips and he wiped it away. He opened and shut his jaw a couple times, then looked up at Butters.
"Wanna fuck my mouth?" Kenny asked in a low, coarse voice. Butters whimpered at the question and felt his mind short circuit. He couldn't comprehend the question, let alone answer. But thankfully, he was thinking with lust, which prompted his answer.
"Yes, yes, fuck yes..." Kenny grinned then suddenly sank his mouth down on his members once more, licked at the tip and grabbed Butters' hand and put it in his hair. He yanked the blonde locks back, tilting Kenny's head back with it, and he felt the younger boy moan around him. Butters nearly came right then, yet willed himself to not totally embarrass himself, and thrust into Kenny's mouth. He felt him moan and adjust slightly to take the sudden strength and force Butters used. "Nngh, K-Kenny, I love your fucking mouth..." he heard and felt Kenny moan in response, and keened as he felt Kenny take him in deeper, which he didn't think was humanly possible. He practically sobbed as Kenny lovingly stroked his balls, urging him to continue his thrusts and coaxing him to orgasm.
When his tongue lapped gently at his frenulum, he tightened his hold in Kenny's hair and felt his stomach knot as he stilled mid-thrust. He gasped in pure ecstasy as he felt him swallow around him, and moan, causing his erection to vibrate. He rolled his hips a few more times, in awe as he looked down and saw Kenny's mouth pressed to his pelvis as he deep-throated to the very best of his abilities.
"K-Ken..." Butters warned, which only encouraged his lover. The taller boy flicked his tongue on the underside of his shaft and hollowed out his cheeks once more, and gave a light tug on his balls. Butters' moans came out in high-pitched keens as he closed his eyes and saw white. He felt his release and Kenny pull back slightly yet keep his mouth around him as he sucked gently, swallowing all of Butters' seed, as he had asked. He gasped and tossed his head back as he shuddered, his body jerked and pulsed as his nerves began to calm down. Kenny pulled off of him with a quiet pop and wiped his mouth. Butters couldn't help but feel even more aroused when seeing the streak of cum at the corner of his lips. Kenny caught his gaze and smirked as he licked it away, then swallowed happily.
"Was that a good pick me up?" He asked hoarsely. Butters let out a breathy laugh as he pulled Kenny into a hug. He kissed him gently and started to undo Kenny's jeans yet he stopped him. "We don't have time, you can help me unwind after work though, right?" Butters nodded with a slightly crestfallen expression. Not only could he not give him a blow job, which Butters knew he obviously needed, but Kenny was back to his beyond stressful schedule. He wasn't sure when they'd have time together again; he was taking college classes so extra homework, plus football, add in working until midnight, and that was Kenny's life. Butters hated it, mostly because it always stressed him out but he was also selfish and didn't look forward to not having him around all the time like he had been. But he knew it would be the hardest on Kenny, so he supposed he could make it up to him tonight; give him something to look forward to.
"Just let me know what you're in the mood for and I'll be ready..." Butters purred, kissing him quickly. Kenny smiled softly and patted his rear end as he shakily ran out of the room. Kenny ran a hand through his ever-messy hair, put his shirt back on, and took a deep breath before he walked out of his room.
He knocked a couple of times on Karen's door, then opened it slightly and peeked his head through. She was laying in the middle of the bed with her brunette hair in tangles after what was usually a deep sleep.
"Kar-bear..." Kenny called gently, walking in and quietly sat on the edge of her bed. She stirred slightly beneath the grey, turquoise, and lime green blankets and mumbled something incoherently. "Kar, ya gotta get up for school."
"Fuck school." She whined, throwing her purple comforter over her head. Kenny sighed and pulled it down; he was met with a bleary glare and he smiled sadly, then took off his shoes. She stared at him, then her smile grew as he pulled up the blankets and laid down next to her. Instantly, and as per usual, she laid on the crook of his shoulder and burrowed her head against his chest.
"You just skipped your sophomore year, you have like one year left," Kenny pushed, "c'mon, you get to see Ruby and Ike everyday and-"
"I did during the summer and I wasn't numbed by the moronic comments of my peers in the process."
"That's because you made yourself too smart. I'm probably just a cretin to you." Karen scoffed and wrapped an arm around him as she closed her eyes.
"The fact that you used "cretin" correctly and know what it means disproves your idea."
"Okay, Ike," Kenny teased, earning a playful shove. "But I'm glad you don't think your older brother is stupid."
"Oh, I do. Kevin's an idiot." Kenny snorted and tapped her forehead with his index finger. "Hey, he's the one who dropped out." Kenny shrugged and gave a nod; she had a point there. "But I guess I know what you mean."
"Now, will you please get ready for school? It starts in like... 20 minutes." Karen groaned and burrowed her head deep in his chest.
"Don' wanna, five more minutes pleeeeease?!" She whined. He sighed heavily and nodded slowly as he played with a few tendrils of her hair. Her breathing evened out as she began to fall back asleep against his gentle, brotherly touches. He even closed his eyes as he felt the warmth lull him to a light doze; his eyes stung with exhaustion and he was more than well aware of the dark bags under his eyes.
But five minutes passed all too soon and Kenny poked Karen on the arm.
"Karen. Up and at 'em," he said, patting her back. She groaned in response and tightened her hold on him.
"We can pretend to be sick can't we?" Kenny rolled his eyes and lifted her head off him, much to her dismay.
"No. Because the state is totally watching my ass and I'm pretty sure if I miss the first day I'll get a talking to." Karen huffed in response and slowly sat up.
"Can I sleep with you tonight then?" Kenny shrugged, then nodded.
"Just don't bring your blanket 'cause with three people it's way too hot and I'm always sweating buckets." Karen shrugged, then nodded in agreement as she pulled out a v-neck t-shirt of some obscure quote from a television show and a pair of skinny jeans Ruby had given her. They acid-washed them together and splattered paint all over the denim, his acrylic paint that he worked his ass off to get, and she claimed them as her favorite clothing item ever.
"Go away, I'm changing." Kenny rolled his eyes, as if he'd never seen her naked before, and for emphasis mooned her before he ran out of her room.
"Dammit, Kenny!" Karen cried, "it's too early for me to be blinded!" Kenny snickered and Butters tilted his head in curiosity as he walked up the stairs.
"Too damn bad!" He replied, knowing she was laughing albeit she would never admit it. He turned to Butters, who looked confused, and his smile brightened a little, "she told me to go away so I mooned her."
"You mooned your sister?" Butters asked in shock. Kenny shrugged and nodded. "I could never do that if I had a brother or sister."
"God, as soon as Kevin would get home he'd just shuck off all his clothes and lay in the living room. Trust me, I've seen my family naked more times than I'd like to admit. Besides, Karen and I used to have to shower together. It just happens." Butters nodded slowly and gave him an odd look, "it's not weird. Ask Kyle and Stan, they'll vouch."
"I'd rather not." Butters replied, then brushed his fingers through Kenny's hair, "you need a hair cut, my good man."
"I thought you liked it longer." Butters nodded as he fixed his part. Kenny made a face then began trying to "re-fix" the part because it felt as if it had been messed up. Butters watched in amusement and Kenny poked out his tongue.
"I do, it's just..." Butters picked up a lock, Kenny shrugged, "how does it always stick up?"
"It's anti-gravity hair?" The bright blonde laughed at that and gazed at Kenny fondly. He had stopped trying to fix his hair and now smoothed his shirt. "You don't have to go to practice if you don't want." Butters rolled his eyes.
"And miss seeing you in uniform?" Kenny wiggled his eyebrows, "I have a drama club meeting anyway, but I'll probably go home with Kyle." Kenny nodded.
"Okay, I'll be able to talk for a couple minutes after practice but I gotta be at work by 4:30." Butters sighed heavily and gave Kenny a look, one that was met with a tired expression, and Butters suddenly felt worse for Kenny. "If I could work less, I would."
"Well... I could get a-"
"You don't have to, I wouldn't want to take your money."
"Ken, that's all I've been doing since I moved in," Kenny shrugged and took Butters hand in his once more, as if that answered any questions and solved the same argument they had repeatedly. It didn't, but the exhaustion on Kenny's face made him drop the subject, for now.
Kenny was stubborn and set in his ways. He pushed for everyone else to be successful but not himself. Except he was pretty proud of himself when he earned the promotion to closing manager at the convenience store. Not that it wasn't any different from what he usually did; he just got a raise and a key.
Karen walked out, looking as if she wanted to crawl back into bed yet ready for the day. Butters noted she wore a little makeup, not enough to draw attention to it, but enough to tell her features had been accentuated, making her a little more refined.
"Do we have food?" She asked, walking passed them and to the stairs. Kenny nodded and followed her, Butters trailed behind after him.
"We really don't have the time, just grab a pop tart."
"Ugh..."
"Karen Annabelle," Kenny said in his stern voice, the one that usually made Butters feel as if he were about to be punished, and not in the good way. Karen looked as if she felt the same way, and she turned to face him. "It's not my fault you wouldn't wake up, and I remember when all we had was pop tarts, frozen waffles, and canned green beans. The fact they aren't stale is an automatic upgrade." Karen nodded and looked dismal as she stared at the floor, "be thankful you have options," he added, softer, quieter.
"I'm doing that more often, taking things for granted." Butters felt his heart ache as he listened to both of them. Karen grabbed a package of off-brand pop tarts, which were actually labeled toaster pastries, and handed one to Kenny, who shook his head. She then turned to Butters, who shrugged and took it.
"Me too, just think, some day we'll be just like everyone else saying shit like, "I like Coke better than RC," and, "this tastes like poverty."" Kenny teased, bringing out a laugh and an eyeroll from Karen.
"Dork," She said as the the three walked out of the comfortable house, into the warm mid-August morning that they wished could stay forever so they could lounge about all day rather than go to school. Butters approached his car, which had been miraculously returned in perfect condition the night Kenny had returned. Of course, he hadn't driven since that fateful day, so he offered the keys to Kenny.
"You sure?" he asked, pressing him to come to just forget about what had happened, as if he had never gotten in an accident and killed Kenny. Butters nodded and quickly sat in the passenger seat; Karen sat in the middle of the back; they took turns riding shotgun. "Because I could totally take my bike and-"
"Just drive, Kenny..." Butters replied with a weary voice. Kenny silenced at that and turned the ignition; the motor purred contentedly and he watched as Karen plugged in her MP3 player; a cheap touch screen one she bought at Wal-Mart before she quit her job to focus on school as Ike and Ruby had.
They arrived at school much sooner than they wanted, and Kenny sighed heavily as he pulled into the senior's side of the parking lot. He smirked at Butters, who suddenly felt excited at the thought that this was the last first day of his high school career.
"We can do this," Butters mumbled as Kenny just so happened to park next to Kyle's Hyundai, which just so happened to be next to Stan's hand-me-down Ford. Cartman roared in with his own car not too much after, and he parked next to them with a shit-eating grin.
"Guys!" He cried as he ran out, to the driver's side. Kenny locked the door. "Seriouslah? Fuck you."
"What do you want?" Kenny asked; they had been like this since Cartman was told Kenny was back. He was still shaken up by the fact he had killed Kenny to put him out of his misery rather than pure enjoyment, which made him just a tiny bit nicer. The last three weeks of summer had been just a little bit better for everyone because of that.
"You realize we can totally beat up the juniors for parking in our spot? And... AND we're totally in charge of the school, no one's gonna mess with us."
"You only say that because Spencer Waylan beat the shit out of you last year for parking in his spot."
"Nuh-uh! Fuck you, ya poor asshole." Cartman was still grinning, he looked like a kid in a candy store, and the three couldn't help but laugh as he was practically shaking with excitement. "And I'm running for school president. First decree, no Jews." Kenny rolled his eyes and opened the door, accidentally nearly hitting the chubby boy in the process.
"Karen!" The brunette perked up when hearing her name called. She closed the door to Butters' car and saw Ruby standing by her brother, who looked as if he hadn't slept in weeks. Craig walked away from Ruby without saying a word, to the doors they were all trying to avoid. Butters followed Kenny's gaze as he wore a look of almost confusion, and turned just in time to see the raven-haired boy stumble slightly.
Karen waved to Kenny and ran to her best friend with open arms.
The three walked into the building, to their lockers, with sullen expressions. Although this would be their last year in this hell-hole of a school they still had thirty six weeks of torture. They could only hope it would go by fast.
Kenny approached his locker and Butters snickered as he sighed heavily.
"Dude." The blonde grumbled, nudging Stan's shoulder as he leaned on their lockers as Kyle managed to suction himself to his body. He was sure that if given the chance they'd probably have sex right there, and he kicked his friend's shin lightly. "Hey, I need to get in my locker." Stan raised his hand a little and waved him off; Butters cackled as Kenny facepalmed and shook his head. He expected Cartman to make a comment yet as he turned to see why he was so quiet he smiled softly. Butters found him talking quietly with Wendy in the corner by the large window that showed them how close they were to freedom.
"Stan, Kyle, c'mon..." Kenny whined, poking Kyle's shoulder now. He pouted when Kyle shoved him away as Stan conspicuously palmed him.
"You can share my locker, Ken..." Butters said, as Ike, Ruby, and Karen skipped down the hall together. The three stopped by Butters and Kenny, with their arms locked, and the seniors grinned at the younger siblings. Craig slammed his head into the door of his locker at the sight of his sister and Kenny smirked.
"Hello, Misfits," Butters chirruped; that's what they had decided to call themselves. Ike glanced to Stan and Kyle and sighed heavily.
"Ello, love!" Ruby chirped back as she looked at her brother, who continued to hit his head on his locker. Tweek tried to stop him and Token was trying not to laugh. "The senior hall really needs some rainbows." Kenny grinned and Butters blushed darkly.
"My brother needs a spray bottle," Ike grumbled with distaste as he watched his older brother pin Stan to the locker and quickly looked away; he appeared slightly green.
"Yeah, they're tainting my locker," Kenny sighed as he fit his backpack in with Butters'. Ruby snorted, and Karen just grinned at her brother; it was safe to say the younger siblings were the only ones excited for the new school year. To their surprise, Ruby belched, loudly, and Kenny let out an astonished yet impressed laugh. Craig groaned in agony, then slammed his head viciously against the metal door. Karen high-fived her, and they both laughed hysterically.
Butters supposed that summed up their friendship pretty well.
"Huh..." Ike said as he grabbed Kenny's sleeve and walked closer to his brother, "I'm kind of surprised at this turn of events." Kenny tilted his head as they approached the honeymoon lockers; it was almost too much for him to see; but everyone would take advantage of the fact that the cameras were pointed in the library rather than the hallway. "I always thought my brother was the one who bottomed."
Kenny's jaw practically hit the floor and Kyle retreated from Stan with his eyes glowing with fury. Butters covered his mouth in awe and Ruby and Karen were trying not the burst out laughing. Craig froze in mid-slam and turned to look at the young Broflovski, who seemed completely unfazed by what he had said.
"Isaac!" Kyle yelled, earning an eyebrow raise from his younger brother, "I- gah!" he tore at his auburn curls and Stan choked on a laugh as he sent an impressed nod to Ike, who smirked and outstretched his arm to the lockers.
"Your locker is now accessible."
"Thank you, good sir," Kenny said, fist-bumping Ike before catching his bag that Butters had tossed.
The bell shortly rang after Ike earned respect from the seniors. Craig covered his red forehead with his chullo hat and walked closely with Tweek down the hall. Clyde waved to Bebe and sent her a soft smile which she ignored as she sauntered passed him and smirked at Kenny before heading to her first class. Butters looked to Clyde who sighed softly and Token gave him a sad look before he took Nichole's books and walked her to class.
Cartman and Wendy were in a heated debate as they walked to their politics class; except instead of their usual screaming they were discussing their viewpoints in a quiet manner, which somehow made the argument scarier. Kyle looked to Butters with an expression similar to his own and shrugged before he closed his locker.
Annie, Red, Heidi and Lisa were all talking in their normal group as they walked by the boys. Bebe and Wendy didn't associate with them as much as they used to; instead they talked with the guys and last year had started sitting at their table. Butters figured it was probably based on maturity levels, although the boys themselves were all incredibly immature.
"Where are you guys headed?" Stan asked as he grabbed his calculus book. Butters held up his matching book. They high-fived in excitement, "dude! We can totally cheat off each other!" Kyle rolled his eyes yet smiled; he knew Stan was worried about not being in the same class as he but now it seemed to be better for him.
"I'm heading to Advanced Physics."
"The longest study hall of my life." Kenny chirped, holding up his schedule. "Design history and a visual fundamentals course." Kyle grimaced at Kenny, still more than a little jealous of the offer he had been given. "And then I think I'm with you guys the rest of the day." They pulled out their schedules and read the same six classes, with the same teachers: French III, Parenting, Economics, English, Choir and Independent Art.
The warning bell rang and Butters and Stan sighed before waving to Kyle and Kenny and headed down the hall to their class. Kenny held up his schedule teasingly and Kyle flipped him off before he ran to get to class on time.
Butters cracked jokes with Stan as they made fun of the syllabus and the way their teacher spoke. They had him for math the past four years and his drawling, nasally voice always made them laugh. Stan usually tried imitating his voice when he was told to answer a question, which always made the class laugh hysterically. Craig sat back and tossed pencils into the ceiling; they usually fell down by the end of class, and Bebe passed notes with him and Stan as she texted Kenny. The four were carrying on a conversation that seemed much funnier than it probably was.
Stan Kenny said you should do the circumference again. Bebe had written. The three burst out laughing and Craig rolled his eyes as Clyde looked wistfully at Bebe who paid him no mind. The sound of a quiet thump was heard and a quieter "yes!" from a monotone Craig was heard as he managed to get a pencil stuck above the teacher's desk without the middle-aged man even seeing it. Clyde high-fived him from under the table and Stan sent him a thumb's up; Craig nodded and a tiny smirk pulled at his lips; Butters swore that was the closest expression to a smile Butters had ever seen on him.
"So we'll be discussing the inner workings of trigonometry as well as the fundamentals of... Stanley Marsh, what are you doing?" Bebe ducked her head on the desk as she shook with giggles. Her blonde curls splayed in front of her and even Craig was trying not to crack up.
"Uh..." Stan trailed off, "my uh... I thought I had a bug in my pants." Butters bit hard on his lip as he recorded the scene to send to Kenny.
"Well, do you?" Clyde coughed loudly and covered his mouth with his arm to hide the fact he was laughing. Token was staring at his hands and trying so hard not to lose his poker face. Craig's face was twitching.
"No, I do not, sir."
"Then sit back down!" Stan cleared his throat loudly and sat, pulling his pants down to his hips so his entire backside was exposed. Token pulled his math book over his face and Clyde was having a terrible coughing fit. Bebe snapped a picture of Stan's ass and covered her mouth as she snorted.
"Mr. Tucker, you have a question?" Everyone looked to Craig who had raised his hand slightly, fist clenched with one finger poking up slightly.
"Uh, yeah. I can't... this is embarrassing."
"No question is stupid, Mr. Tucker." He sighed heavily, as if struggling, and swallowed.
"I just can't remember if it's the radius or the diameter you use to find the circumference of a circle. And would that work to find the area of a globe?" Butters wasn't sure if it was his monotone voice or the fact he showed no emotion whatsoever as he asked the question that made him burst out laughing. Thankfully, he wasn't the only one because the entire class roared with laughter.
"No laughing! That was a wonderful question, Craig, although it takes us back to first year geometry rather than calculus-"
"I'm just having a difficult time wrapping my head around this. I can't grasp it." To everyone's disbelief Craig had held his hands up as if holding something round and made a squeezing motion.
"Oh my God it hurts!" Bebe exclaimed as she was overcome by giggles. Token had tears in his eyes as he laughed silently and Stan turned slightly so his back faced Craig. Butters heard a guffaw from the back corner and looked at Craig with wide eyes as the ghost of a laugh faded from his face.
"And you take the diameter times pi to find the circumference. Does that help, Craig?" The raven haired boy nodded once and bit back a smile as he caught Butters looking at him.
"Uh... what about a globe?"
"You take pi times the radius squared. It would work for a globe."
"What about two split hemispheres?" Butters nearly fell out of his seat as he giggled silently.
"Did you not pay attention your sophomore year?!" Their teacher exclaimed.
"I was a little preoccupied with hemispheres and finding how much it would take to fill a hemisphere with a vertex." Stan threw his head back as he laughed; his skin squeaked on the seat and everyone snickered once more; even Craig let out a chuckle.
"That wouldn't work, hemispheres have no edges or points."
"But what about bottoms?"
"Bottoms?" Their teacher asked, confused. Craig nodded, "like... rear-ends?"
"Uh... no. Mr. Dawson you shouldn't be thinking about rear-ends during class. I'm talking about bottoming. Y'know, the bottoms of hemispheres."
Bebe nearly fell on the floor and flailed as she laughed in silent hysterics. Her phone clattered on the floor and Butters quickly picked it up so she wouldn't get caught texting.
Stan eventually pulled his pants back up and everyone finally calmed down and pretended to pay attention to their teacher as he read the rest of the syllabus. Everyone had a newfound respect for Craig, however, yet he seemed content with throwing his pencils in the ceiling and putting tape all over his desk.
The bell rang and Butters went to psychology while Stan went to physics. They passed Kyle in the hallway, who put a finger-gun to his head and went to his trigonometry class. Karen waved at him in the hall as they passed and Ruby blew him a kiss as they headed to their junior humanities class. The Misfits were also known as the school geniuses; they all had skipped at least one grade, and Ike alone had managed to skip four years.
His second hour class was incredibly boring and he suddenly found himself missing Kenny. He wondered how his first day was going yet he had quit responding to Bebe in the middle of first hour and no one had heard from him since. He'd see him next hour and at lunch he and Bebe would show everyone at their table the video he had recorded; Craig would legendary for the rest of the year.
Third hour came around and Butters sighed when Kenny still hadn't shown up in class. Kyle, Cartman, and Stan sat at the table with him, and one empty chair remained. He was sincerely hoping no one else would take it, or Kenny would show up soon, he just wanted to talk to him.
"Did you seriously pull of the circumference again?" Kyle asked, Stan nodded and looked to Craig, who was now flicking rubber bands across the room. Butters briefly wondered how he stored the excess school supplies but found himself nearly getting hit in the face with one. Craig shrugged and aimed one at the ceiling.
Butters watched as he aimed one at the door and bit his lip as he launched it. He heard it snap on the wall and the door close. He turned and saw Kenny, with his hood slightly falling from his head and his glasses still perched on his nose. He shot the band back at Craig, who put his hand up and caught it. The black haired boy raised an eyebrow at the blonde, who kept his eyes on him for a moment before he sat down next to Butters and sighed heavily.
"Do you have a pass, Kenny?" Their French teacher asked. Kenny groaned in annoyance and opened his binder. Butters read the signature and saw it was from the guidance office rather than his study hall teacher. "This is time-stamped seven minutes ago."
"Well, talk to Sarah," Kenny huffed, running a hand through his hair.
"Sarah?"
"Sorry, Ms. Carlson." Kyle looked curiously at Butters, who shrugged, and watched as their teacher sighed softly and took the post-it note. "Or do I have to go back and get another one?"
"This is fine, Kenny."
"Cool, so can I go to the bathroom?" Stan snickered and Kyle rolled his eyes. Butters hit his forehead with the palm of his hands as he looked between Mrs. Moreau and Kenny. She gave him a look and he sighed dramatically, "or I can wait..."
"That would be wise." Butters stared at him and Kenny took his hand under the table. The bright blonde tilted his head and Kyle looked at him curiously as well.
"I'll explain later," he whispered, then opened his binder and rested his head on the notebook paper. Butters ran a hand through his hair comfortingly, until their teacher looked at him sternly as she walked to the board and he quickly pulled his hand away.
Third hour passed by with a breeze, mostly because the syllabus to French III was extremely easy to discuss and then their teacher allowed them to talk, and Kenny to go to the bathroom. When he came back Butters could smell cigarettes and weed on him yet said nothing.
"So what was that all about?" Kyle asked, "I didn't know you still talked to Ms. Carlson?" Kenny shrugged.
"Dude, I talked to her like twice a week during the summer." Kenny replied simply as he doodled on a piece of notebook paper. Kyle and Stan gave each other looks and Cartman scoffed.
"'Cause you need faggy therapy?" Kenny rolled his eyes and stabbed at his hand with his pen. Cartman cried out and punched Kenny on the shoulder in response.
"No, we usually talked about movies and stuff. She can sing every song from "Cannibal! The Musical" so my respect for her is high."
"That movie is shit." Stan said, Kyle gave him a look and he raised his hands, "well it is!"
"That's why I love it!" Kenny replied, Butters smiled and rolled his eyes as he took Kenny's pen and doodled on the paper; they all usually ended up creating a monster that ate some defenseless animal. Butters usually drew the defenseless animal. This time it was a puppy.
"So did you do anything for your online classes?" Kyle asked.
"Yeah it took like twenty minutes each so then I just chilled with her. We watched Youtube videos and ate candy. I haven't ever eaten so much chocolate, she has a huge stash in her bottom drawer. Like, she showed me this one with shmings!"
"What's a shming?" Butters asked.
"A mini hedgehog thing, and people floated them on their backs in water. And then I showed her some of our videos, Stan."
"Of TAB?" Kenny nodded, "what'd she think?"
"She appreciated your covers of REM and Blue October. But seriously, if I can just chill and watch Youtube all year for the first two hours then this year is gonna be awesome!" Kenny chirped.
"Well did you actually talk about anything?" Kyle asked, looking at Kenny.
"Well... yeah... but she's cool so... Youtube." Kyle rolled his eyes and Kenny imitated him, "look, it's cool. Most of what we talk about is off the record and like... she asks my opinion on stuff for her too."
"Like what?" Cartman asked; in freshman year he had the biggest crush on her. Kenny smirked and shrugged his shoulders.
"Uh... stuff. Like her cheating boyfriend. I told her to write him a note that bashes him and put it on the bottom of the toilet seat. She's gonna do it, after she throws all of his shit out of her house." Kyle huffed at that and Kenny sighed softly. Butters took his hand and brushed his thumb comfortingly over his skin. "Fine, Kyle, she asked me about progress I've made getting over the rape," he murmured quietly yet several people heard the word and looked over curiously. Kenny ignored them and looked at Kyle, who was flushed, "and how I've been dealing with my stress and if I'm doing okay with work and paying for stuff and taking care of Karen. Because that's exactly what I want to focus on and Mrs. Moreau I'm going to the bathroom." Before Butters could stop him and their teacher could say a word Kenny picked up his binder and was out the door. Cartman whistled lowly and shook his head at Kyle, who groaned.
"Nice going, Jew, you pissed off the poor boy." He drawled, Stan shot him a glare yet looked at Kyle with raised eyebrows, as if asking "what was that all about?"
"You were wondering too," he grumbled, "dammit..."
"Butters," Mrs. Moreau called. He perked up and turned around; he couldn't be in trouble. He hadn't done anything. She smiled softly at him though, and he settled slightly, "will you please make sure he's alright?"
But Butters couldn't find him, and he didn't show up for fourth hour or lunch. At this point Kyle was feeling pretty miserable and Butters did feel bad yet he was more concerned with Kenny; Kyle had pushed him and it was his fault. He received no replies to calls or texts and he wasn't in any of the hiding places Butters knew about; which worried him.
They left the lunch room and headed to choir after messing around and goofing off at lunch. Bebe had nearly yelled at Kyle until she was practically blue in the face but Butters eventually stopped her. She was still fuming even when she apologized.
In choir they lounged about on the floor as they went through vocal tests. The seniors were up first, mostly because they hardly had to test at all, considering most people never left the section they were placed in from freshman year. Butters was still a tenor, as was Kyle, and Stan was baritone. Bebe was once again a soprano while Wendy was an alto.
Butters sighed as he laid down on the ground next to Bebe as he finished testing. Kyle was reading a book and Stan was writing in a notebook. Bebe turned on her side and rested on his arm.
"Still no word from Kenny?" She asked, cuddling him. He shook his head and sighed heavily. Kyle looked at them with a miserable expression yet said nothing as he pushed his glasses higher up on the bridge of his nose.
"He'll be fine, he's probably out smoking or something." Bebe shrugged and nodded. But both of them knew that wasn't the case. Stan hummed as he read the words he had written, then furrowed his eyebrows and scratched out a word. Then he bopped his head along to a rhythm in his head; Bebe snickered and Butters smiled as they watched him.
The raven-haired boy slowly looked up from his notebook and blushed deep red as he saw them watching him.
"I'm writing a new song, shut up!" He cried, earning several 'shhs' from the juniors as they began their vocal testing. The piano played a scale and a tenor voice sang in nearly perfect pitch.
"Karen McCormick?" Butters watched as the brunette shot up and ran to the piano excitedly; last year she had been a soprano with Bebe. The two had been considered the leaders of the section. Bebe had sort of taken the youngest McCormick under her wing, a kind of older sister, Butters supposed with a smile. The blonde girl watched as the lanky junior closed her eyes and repeated the high-scale with ease. This time she managed to earn a spot as a "Soprano One" instead of a "Soprano Two", along with Bebe. She seemed excited as she ran back to Ruby, who said something along the lines of, "damn girl!" and Ike high-fived her.
Eventually there were only ten minutes of class left; Mr. Clements would continue the vocal tests with the sophomores and freshman the next day. He took off his glasses and stood up to look at his lounging class of nearly 80 participants.
"Are there any other juniors or seniors who haven't tested yet? I have time for a couple more who would like to re-test as well." Tweek tried to disappear; he managed to avoid testing; last year it took a week for him to finally agree to doing a single scale. Butters had to admit though, he had a very strong baritone voice.
Red stood up to re-test; she wanted to be a soprano rather than mezzo-soprano but she could never hit the highest scales to earn the title. Yet still she tried, and still she missed it. Butters thought it was a shame, considering she was one of the best mezzo-sopranos they had.
"Anyone else?" There was now three minutes left in class. Butters sighed heavily and sat up as Bebe rolled off of him. Stan was quietly humming a melody and Kyle skimmed the page of his book, hoping to finish the chapter by the end of class. "Oh, Kenneth McCormick, come to grace us with your presence at the last second?" He sounded upset but Butters knew his sense of humor; half the time he didn't care if people showed up late. It only mattered during performance weeks.
"Sorry," Kyle looked up and nearly bounced from his seat yet settled back when Kenny looked sheepishly around the room as eyes fell on him, "I'll take a detention if you want." Mr. Clements shook his head and ushered the lanky boy over. Karen grinned and looked to Butters; Kenny had no idea what he was in for.
"No, that won't be necessary. Ever since last year's... eccentric performance at the pep rally I've been hoping you'd join our choir."
"Uh, well... here I am?" Stan looked up from his notebook and Karen watched with a gleeful expression.
"Great, now, will you run some scales with me? I have just enough time to place you in a section."
"Cool." He sounded so nonchalant; Butters wasn't sure if Kenny had ever sang a scale. Although he had a spectacular voice he honestly wasn't sure how he managed to sing so well. It was as if he had training yet never took a single music lesson.
The piano played a low scale and Kenny sang it with ease; Butters recognized it as the basic bass scale, to determine the lowest voices in the class. Mr. Clements nodded, then bumped the pitch; each time Kenny sang it in perfect tone, with perfect breath. Butters shook his head; how did he do that?
This seemed to baffle the choir teacher as well as he continued playing higher notes until he reached the highest tenor pitch. By now everyone was watching; his voice hadn't cracked at a single note. Butters wasn't even able to sing that high; he had tried once, at home, and the noise that managed to come out of him sounded more like a dying chicken than anything.
"Interesting..." Mr. Clements said, "now, try this." He played the highest alto line and Kenny repeated it. Kyle's eyes widened and looked to Stan, who watched his dear friend in pure astonishment. Karen shook her head; the notes seemed so easy for him to sing.
Mr. Clements played mezzo-soprano notes now, and Bebe was slightly pink in the cheeks as she watched in admiration at Kenny, who sang purely, like an angel. Everyone had grown silent as they watched the boy who appeared to have no musical talent whatsoever sing nearly every section of the choir. His voice finally cracked, and his cheeks flamed as he clutched his throat.
"Well, that was awkward." he mumbled, earning a quiet laugh from Mr. Clements as he shook his head. Everyone clapped and Stan cheered; Kenny blushed even darker, which was incredibly uncharacteristic, and scrubbed a hand through his hair.
The bell rang and everyone poured out of the room in excited murmurs as they headed to their seventh hour classes. Karen waved Ike and Ruby off, and Butters did the same with Kyle, Stan, and Bebe.
"I'll see you in art," he told them. They nodded, and the three walked together, yet slowly so they could hear what Mr. Clements said to Kenny.
"Son, have you ever been in a choir before?" Kenny shook his head. "Do you realize what you just did?"
"Uh... I sang?" Butters smiled and Karen walked closer to him as she mouthed, "holy crap." Butters nodded and turned back to the conversation. He noticed the others were lingering by the door, waiting to hear where Kenny would be placed.
"Yes, you sang!" Mr. Clements laughed, "beautifully! I have never taught a student who can sing every section of a choir!"
"...is that a bad thing?" Kenny asked.
"If I may, how did you learn how to sing like that?"
"Well, my friends and I saw Cirque Du Cheville when we were little and we wanted to start a circus troupe but they told me I sucked at singing so I listened to "Con te Partiro" over and over and then I had a tour in Romania and sold some CDs." Kenny said, glancing over to Stan and Kyle, who looked shocked as they remembered that brief moment in their lives.
"Singing must be a natural gift in your family, then," Mr. Clements said as he shook his head in wonder at Kenny, who shrugged. "Did you know that you have a four-octave vocal range?" Karen squealed and jumped in excitement. Kenny turned to look at her curiously, then looked at the teacher in confusion.
"Is that good?" Kenny asked as the warning bell rang. Yet all of them remained. Mr. Clements scoffed and patted Kenny's shoulder.
"Good? Mr. McCormick, Freddie Mercury himself had a four-octave range." Mr. Clements sighed and took a step from his piano, "Kenny, it's an honor for me to be your teacher and I assure you this year will give you more opportunities than you could ever dream of, if you are willing to be in more than just the choir. There are several competitions you could compete in, I'll be discussing that tomorrow, but think about that okay?"
"Alright," Kenny simply said, "uh, thanks for... telling me all this."
"You're more than welcome, I'll see you tomorrow, all of you," Mr. Clements addressed the rest of them. Kenny smirked as his friends blushed and quietly murmured their goodbyes as they walked up to Kenny.
The doors to the choir room closed and Karen squealed in excitement as she jumped in Kenny's arms. She squeezed him tight and laughed happily as she fed him enough compliments to make him feel sick. Butters noticed he didn't look very happy as he brushed off her encouragement and Stan's "I told you so's.
"That was amazing, dude!" Stan cried, "I mean... c'mon, you could be the next Freddie-fucking-Mercury, that's like... gold. And you can use it!" Kenny shrugged and set Karen on the ground; she still grabbed his arm as they walked down the hall.
"I dunno, I don't have the time for all that. I'll think about it." Kenny mumbled. Bebe looked at Butters, who raised an eyebrow and shrugged.
"Kenny, I've never seen Mr. C have such a music boner before then," Bebe purred to Kenny, who smirked and shrugged his shoulders.
"I have that effect on most people, babe."
"I can tell choir's going to be fun this year," she teased playfully as she walked backwards in front of Kenny, who winked. "But seriously, that was really fucking awesome. I have to go to the debate club meeting, I'll be in art soon. Don't miss me too much."
"Pssh, who're you?" Kenny replied, then sneered as she shoved him lightly before she hurried down what was called the "eternal bog of stench" hallway; otherwise known as freshman central.
They arrived in their independent art class several minutes late, but the teacher liked Kenny so she dismissed them. Considering it was an independent course she didn't really have to teach them anything, and most of the students were gathered around computers watching videos.
"There you are, Kenny. For a second I was worried you dropped the course."
"Ha, right, the only class I enjoy I'd drop." Kenny replied sarcastically as he walked up to their teacher. Butters never realized the almost friendly relationships Kenny made between certain teachers. It was nice to see that he at least had that to get him through the day.
Butters sat at a table with Kyle and Stan, who huddled together and watched the video filmed in math class. The bright blonde pulled out the doodle he and Kenny had started; there were now flowers and random vines over the page, as well as Kenny's random lines that made nothing. He wanted him to finish whatever he had begun to draw, though, so he left it open for him.
Except Kenny returned to the table with a large book and an X-Acto knife. Butters looked at him curiously as he set the heavy book down in front of him and took off the lid to the knife.
"What're you doing?" Butters asked as he watched Kenny flip the front cover and bend it backwards.
"First art project. It's something I never got to do last year, book art." Kyle watched with wide eyes as he started cutting the pages of the book. Deep gouges took chunks of pages out and he pulled them away every so often.
"Oh. What're you gonna make?"
Kenny got in a certain way when given something to do; usually in art. He was serious and focused only on creating and it's as if all other traits are shut off except his creativity. He'd spend hours in his room drawing and painting, while Butters attempted to call him to the bed. The bright blonde recalled one time he had even jerked himself off to try to see if that would break Kenny from his "zone". It didn't.
"A cityscape," Kenny replied. Butters watched as he hacked away bits of pages; apparently there was some method to his seemingly random cuts. He also noticed how careful he was around the edge of the blade, as if a tiny prick would be the end of him; but he knew it easily could be. "Stan?" He asked in a distracted voice as he flipped the book.
"Uh... yeah?"
"Put on Pandora or something... I need music," he murmured, on his knees on the tall stool. Butters didn't question why he didn't just sit, because he knew not to question Kenny when he was in this state.
An obscure station started playing from Stan's Pandora, playing what Butters swore was The Smiths as well as Husker Du yet Kenny didn't even seem to pay attention to the music. He wondered if he had ignored Kyle on purpose, and it appeared Kyle wondered the same thing, and the redhead finally sighed.
"Kenny, I'm sorry if I pissed you off." Kyle finally blurted. Kenny glanced up for a moment; his tongue poked from his lips, a habit of concentration, and his eyebrows were slightly furrowed. "I just... didn't know you still talked to Ms. Carlson and wanted you to feel okay with opening up if you needed to."
"It's fine, Kyle. I get it, I'm not mad." Was his lazy reply as he pulled his face closer to the book and peered at the pages. "The only thing I'm upset about is I'm stressed, and I thought we were passed worrying about me."
"We are, I just thought-"
"That's the problem, everyone thinks. No one actually knows..." Kenny trailed off without giving his sentence much thought; he didn't have to.
"Knows what?" Kyle asked. Stan shot him a look, and he shrugged his shoulders. Kenny grabbed Butters' hand and set it on the corner of the book cover. He then turned the book slightly and sliced through every single page in a quick, swiping motion. The corners scattered over the table and on the floor in a paper shower.
"I guess "think" and "know" were the wrong words. I should have said "expects" and "accepts." This is the stuff I want to do. Not competitions, not catching footballs, not standing on stages. I want music and I want art. But somewhere down the line..." he paused, took Butters' hand again, and had him hold a chunk of pages, "people saw that I wasn't just the poor kid with no future. Now I can sing and run fast and memorize a few lines and suddenly it's what can you do, just try a little harder. This... this right here was my football dreams, my AP classes, my lead in the play. Just sitting on this stool making things. But now..." he trailed off as he hacked off the adjacent corners, "I'm the poor kid who can make things and takes college classes and works thirty hours a week and take care of his sister, who holds a high school record and- shit." he cursed as the knife sliced the webbing between his index finger and thumb. Dark blood dripped heavily from the wound onto the paper in a pooling crimson. Butters jumped back and Kyle's eyes widened as Kenny clutched his hand. "Shit."
The fact that Kenny told him he once died from a paper cut made this deep wound an emergency in Butters' mind. He ran into the adjacent industrial arts room and into the bathroom. He grabbed an excess amount of paper towels then high-tailed it back into the art room. Kenny squeezed his hand and bent it on the table; their teacher was hurriedly searching for the first-aid kit only used on Kenny, and Butters took his trembling hand.
"You okay?" Butters asked, kneeling on his stool as he wrapped Kenny's hand with the towels. Stan was standing by the trash can looking ashen and Kyle stood next to Kenny and looked about ready to cry. The dark blonde nodded and used the sleeve of his hoodie to wipe at the blood on the table.
"Kenny, do you need to go to the office?" Mrs. Peters asked as she approached with the first-aid kit in hand.
"Thanks but if I go to the office one more time today I'd probably go home and shoot myself." Butters felt anguish in his heart as he heard Kenny's sarcastically cheerful voice. He knew Kenny probably would do that; apparently that was his favorite way to go to sleep when he was twelve.
But his teacher laughed and he cracked a smirk as he reached to open the box with his left hand. Butters unlatched it, however, and pulled out an alcohol swab, a cotton pad, and a roll of gauze.
"I'm in good hands," Kenny said with a smile directed at Butters, who blushed as he opened the packet with the swab.
"This will sting." Butters mumbled as he unwrapped the paper towels from Kenny's hand. His blood nearly soaked through the top layer and Butters felt slightly woozy as he saw the dark red ooze from the deep cut. "But it's 'cause I love you."
"Well that makes it worth it then," Kenny teased, then bit his lip and grimaced as Butters cautiously dabbed the swab on his cut. Blood continued to flow and he sighed heavily. "It'll stop, or I'll die."
"Not funny..." Butters said as he gave a sad chuckle. "I'm sorry you cut yourself."
"It was bound to happen someday," Kenny joked; he poked his tongue out and Butters rolled his eyes. Kenny usually wasn't one to make self-harm jokes, considering his close relation with such behavior. "But it's okay, not a big deal. I'm sorry, Kyle." Kenny said, smiling sadly at the redhead, who gawked.
"You're sorry? Dude! I pissed you off enough to lose concentration and..." he pointed to his hand that still shook. Kenny rolled his eyes and shook his head.
"It's not you, it's today. Just, we're cool, kay?" The sound of Stan gagging was heard and Kenny sighed, "well, for the most part." Kyle gave a quiet chuckle as he walked over to his lover. Butters wrapped the gauze around his hand one last time, and kissed over the cut.
"There!" He chirruped happily, "all better!" Kenny smiled and glanced to see their teacher talking to another group of kids. Kenny quickly kissed Butters and found it difficult to break the comforting touch. Yet he did, with a grimace, and Butters sighed contentedly.
"Thanks, Lee." Kenny murmured, looking at the carved book with blood staining the page. Butters looked at Kenny's artwork and smiled. From the little amount of time he worked on it, the outline of a sky scraper was carved into the pages.
The bell soon rang, announcing the end of their last first day, and Butters wasn't sure how to feel about it. Honestly he wanted to just skip the drama meeting and go home and sleep but getting the lead was his dream for this year's competition. He wanted it and he would make sure Bridon Gueermo wouldn't even dare to take it from him.
He packed his back and earned a quick kiss on the cheek from Kenny before the blonde left with Stan to football practice. Butters sighed softly and shut his locker, then gave Kyle a tired expression. The redhead nodded and looked at his phone.
"I'll be on the bleachers doing homework if you get out of practice early," Kyle said, with a sheepish expression. Butters nodded and waved as he walked to the auditorium. He was the third person there; the other two were Wendy and Bebe.
Once everyone arrived they discussed he and Bebe, as co-captains, explained the three plays they would be performing this year, and the tentative schedule they had created the week before. It seemed to work with everyone, and after catching the names of the new freshmen, they began the list of who wanted to act, who wanted a major or minor part, who wanted to do makeup, and who wanted to be a crew. Most people signed up to be crew; it was an easy task to get out of school. But they had more than enough people sign up to act, and Butters felt confident about their prospects.
After answering questions and going over the current weeks's schedule, which basically consisted of three different times to audition for the play, they ended the meeting, feeling excited. He, Bebe, and Wendy laid on the stage as they tried to pass the time. Karen joined them as well, until Ruby showed up from volleyball practice and dragged her to her house.
By the time football practice was over Bebe had left to go on a date with an unnamed person, which bothered Butters to no end, and Wendy had been called to a student council meeting. Butters decided to wait with Kyle out by the football field on the bleachers; he found the red head laying comfortably on the bleachers with his bag under his head.
"Hey," Butters said, sitting down next to him. Kyle opened his eyes and smiled, then closed his eyes once more. "You're not watching them practice?" the redhead shrugged and looked to the field, where they were all running suicides. Butters felt his stomach knot at the thought of those God awful exercises and gratefully sat down next to Kyle.
"Same as it always is on the first day. The freshman screwed around and now the whole team is in trouble."
"Go figure," Butters mumbled as he watched Kenny run from the sixty yard line effortlessly.
"This is their second one, too. Crazy..." Kyle trailed off, then closed his eyes.
Butters watched the team run their laps with a sad look on his face. He felt awful for them for having to run so much but also for the upperclassmen; it wasn't their fault. But he figured it was because they were all a team and they all have to go down together. Or something stupid like that.
Finally they finished their laps and the coach blew his whistle to announce the end of practice. Kyle slid off the bench and yawned as he stood up. Stan waved to them both, then took a puff on his inhaler as he waited for them to catch up. Kenny ran up to him as well, helmet in hand, and sent a smile toward Butters as they approached. Both boys were drenched in sweat and red-faced as they puffed for air.
"Are you okay?" Kyle asked Stan, who nodded as he took another puff from his inhaler. Kenny wiped his brow and ran a hand through his long hair as he looked at his three friends.
"It's just... the stupid... freshmen..." Stan panted, then grabbed on to Kenny as he struggled to catch his breath, "I can't... my legs, man..."
"I can carry you in the locker room," Kenny replied; Stan appeared to consider this idea, but then shook his head, "at least you didn't puke like Connor did. Kyle, you have to nurse him back to health." Kenny commanded with a wink. The redhead rolled his eyes but ran his hand through Stan's waving, sweat-drenched hair. He grimaced yet repeated his actions as Stan dragged himself along with Kenny's movements. "God, I think you're heavier than fat ass."
"Shut the fuck up, I'm muscle." Stan grumbled, earning a smirk from Kenny as he helped Stan up the stairs from the field. Butters felt Kenny grab his hand, and smiled as he locked their fingers together.
Kyle and Butters waited on the bleachers in the gym for them to return from the locker room. Of course, Kyle was worried about Stan but Butters assured him he'd be fine. But Kyle watched the door with worry creasing his brow, and Butters rubbed his back comfortingly. He figured Kyle couldn't help but worry about his friends; they were like his brothers and he grew up with Sheila Broflovski as his mother.
When Kenny and Stan stepped out they both looked refreshed and Stan laughed at something Kenny said. Kenny yawned as he stepped up the bleachers and pecked Butters' lips.
"I have to head to work, do you want me to take you home?" Butters shook his head and looked to Kyle.
"I'm gonna go hang out with Kyle and Stan for a bit, and maybe I can bum a ride from them."
"Well it's your car dude, you sure?" Butters nodded; he wasn't stepping behind the wheel for anything.
"Yeah! It's no big deal." Kenny sighed and stroked his cheek with his thumb for a moment.
"Kay, well I'll be home by 1 so don't stay up." Stan furrowed his eyebrows.
"Butters is still at your house?" Kenny nodded and sighed heavily; not out of annoyance, it was just a long story that he didn't have time to explain. Butters knew that, and he squeezed his hand once more, kissed him chastely, and swatted his backside to get him to move.
"We'll see what happens, get to work, you." Kenny grinned and managed to pull Butters' bag from his shoulders; he didn't understand how.
"Love you."
"Love you too, now get." Kenny sighed and waved before he ran out of the gym. Kyle and Stan turned to Butters with raised eyebrows. The blonde blushed darkly as he caught their growing grins and slightly cowered in slight fear.
"So... you're still at Kenny's house?" Stan pressed innocently. Butters nodded.
"Um... I told my parents t-they had to either a-accept me being gay and being with Kenny or... I'm gone. So I told Kenny what happened and we went and got my stuff." Butters cringed as he recalled that what he said never truly happened but the lie felt to easy as it rolled off his tongue. Part of it didn't even feel like a lie.
"Whoa... you seriously said that?" Butters nodded and sighed softly. "That's great but... you actually moved out? I'm sorry... that they wouldn't even consider it."
"Especially since my dad's bi himself?" Stan and Kyle both nodded, "I don't care, it's nice. I feel like I actually have a place to call home now. A-and it's like a permanent sleepover!" They sighed and smiled at him, as if they had expected him to say something like that. He didn't mind though; because it was the truth. The only difference was he didn't feel like he overstayed his welcome.
"I'm sorry about your parents," Kyle said softly as they walked to the parking lot. Stan left his car as he got in Kyle's passenger seat. Butters sat in the middle of the back and took their backpacks.
When they arrived to Kyle's house they all piled in the living room. Cartman ended up coming by about an hour later and they all decided to play video games. Kyle's mom invited them all for dinner, and they all decided to stay except Cartman who said he'd rather eat his own shit than a Jew dinner, though not to Sheila Broflovski. Though Butters had a feeling he was going to see Wendy.
After eating until it was impossible to take another bite, Butters filled Kyle's parents in on how Kenny was doing, although it seemed like Kyle had done a pretty good job at that. He thought it was nice that they were concerned, and as he thought about it they were kind of like all of their parents. They were the ones who acted the most normal out of all of the parental units.
When Butters finished telling them about Kenny's classes and his promotion Sheila sounded worried that he was stressed. Gerald thought it was great he was able to have the opportunities he did, but agreed with his wife that he could get stressed easily. Which they all knew had happened; Butters didn't remember a time Kenny's mind wasn't racing and his anxiety wasn't high.
After they went to Kyle's room and worked on what little homework they were assigned, Kyle looked up from his books and grinned.
"I have an idea," he chirped. Stan looked at him curiously and Butters dropped his book as he waited for Kyle to talk. "Why don't we go visit Kenny? And then we can hang out over at his... and your house for awhile." Butters shrugged, then nodded at this. It wasn't a bad idea at all. He never had a chance to visit Kenny at work, mostly because he didn't want his dad finding out.
Kenny hadn't called him yet, which meant he hadn't had his break, so he hoped he wasn't too busy. Then again it was a convenience store; he doubted a lot of people went there, so as manager there probably wasn't much to do. In fact, knowing Kenny he had finished it all and was reading magazines.
They pulled in at the back of the store and hurried out of the car. Hoping to be sneaky, they quietly crept to the door and opened it; then flinched when hearing an electronic bell.
"Dammit," Stan grumbled, leading the way. Kyle smiled softly at him and Butters rolled his eyes. "Hey, why have we never thought about doing this before?"
"Because..." Butters trailed off, and grimaced. That was a great question and one he couldn't answer. He had only visited Kenny at work a couple of times in the past three years he's had the job at the convenience store. "Probably because we don't come this way often." Stan shrugged, then nodded as he ran up to the register and slammed his hand down.
Only Kenny didn't freak out because Kenny wasn't there. The stand was empty and he turned to give Kyle a weirded out look. Butters figured he was probably in the kitchen making an order, so he wasn't too concerned. But Stan and Kyle were.
Butters watched, and shook his head as they counted down from "five" on their fingers. He facepalmed as they looked around, to make sure no one was in the store, and grinned.
"KENNAY!" They both screamed, then high-fived and laughed as they pronounced his name the same way. Butters couldn't help but jump at the loudness and the sound of tennis shoes squeaking on linoleum was heard as the blonde ran out, looking worried. The concern faded from his face as soon as he saw his friends, and he grinned. Butters saw a clipboard in hand and his hair was messier than usual.
"What are you guys doing?" He asked happily as he stepped from the customer service station over to them.
"We were bored so we wanted to visit you," Stan replied simply, "we had Cartman too but I think he went on a date with Wendy." Kenny gave a nod and scrubbed a hand through his hair. He looked worn down and had dark bags under his eyes. "Aren't you supposed to be out here all the time?" Kenny shrugged.
"Honestly? I usually only deal with people if they want food or something. They usually just pay at the pumps. Other than you guys I've had like five people come in the past four hours. I fucking love it." he took a breath, "but it's totally sweet you guys came, I've been taking inventory in the back and I've contemplated death by price gun multiple times and fell asleep once." Kenny mumbled, "and some asshole's drawer is like $90 short so there goes my paycheck until douche nugget figures out how he can pay it back, which he never will. Fucking asshole." Butters grimaced; they were already running low on money, and he knew that $90 would come out of their food... Butters would think of something.
"How would you die by a price gun? Sticky yourself to death?" Kyle teased. Kenny grabbed the price gun and shot his forehead with as much ease as if he had waved; Stan even flinched at the quiet trigger being pulled. Kenny peeled off the sticker and grinned. "Sweet, I'm worth $2.69."
"Oh Kenny, you are so bored..." Kyle murmured. The blonde groaned and nodded as he tossed the gun onto the counter. "Why does it have to come out of your paycheck?" the redhead asked, "you should get douche nugget to cough up the money." Kenny barked with laughter as he shook his head.
"Already tried that. I called him after I counted it, 'cause he's just a clerk and I'm manager, and he came down to talk to me about it. Well apparently his dog is either eating forty pounds of dog food a day or he is his dog because he... mentioned something about a dog that was really important... but I didn't pay attention. Forget that. He doesn't have the money to pay it back until he gets his check and it's not like I can write his check now. So since he can't pay until payday the managers cover their asses... but his payday will be spent in the candy aisle like last time because he's a fucking douche nugget!" Kenny groaned and slammed his head on the counter; it sounded painful. Butters rubbed his back and lifted his head slightly; his forehead was reddened from the impact. "I'm screwed... and I'm pretty sure someone's been taking shit because I've had to order stuff we got last week. And why do people like gas station pizza? I mean, really? It's fucking awful. I work my ass off to make it taste edible and even then it's questionable."
"Kenny... breathe." Butters said. The strawberry blonde boy closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He held it, then finally exhaled heavily and groaned warily once more. "A little better?"
"I'm so tired..." he whined, "and I've got five hours left. Like... my eyes feel like someone poured bleach in them." Butters truly believed Kenny knew how that felt. He wouldn't doubt his experience, anyway.
"Can you call someone else in?" Kenny shook his head.
"We have three managers. Alex worked morning, Clare worked afternoon, and I took over for her. Fuck!" Kenny cried suddenly and ran in the back. Stan looked at Butters and Kyle with a sad expression.
"That's rough," he mumbled. Kyle nodded and ran a hand through his hair.
"I've got enough from my summer job that I could give him the $90, if he'd take it, that is."
"Which he wouldn't," Butters quipped as he poured a large cup of coffee. He poured a little bit of creamer into it but knew Kenny preferred black coffee and waited for Kenny to come back so he could buy it. Yet when Butters handed it to Kenny to ring up, the blonde raised an eyebrow and shook his head.
"You're not payin' for that, here..." Kenny pulled out his wallet and Butters sighed in slight annoyance.
"Ken, it's for you. I'm buying, I gotta treat my baby to somethin', don't I? 'Specially 'cause you're working so hard. Like eighty-nine cents is gonna bust my balls." Kenny chuckled and smiled quietly at Butters as he watched the bright blonde swipe his card.
"Better not, I'd miss 'em." Butters blushed and Kyle made a gagging noise as he looked to Stan. As soon as the receipt printed Kenny crumpled it and sighed when Butters pushed the coffee his way.
"So what do you do here? Like, what does a manager do?" Stan asked. Kenny shrugged.
"Uh, well I pretty much cashier and take peoples' food orders. But I'm taking inventory now, I have to make sure everything's running okay, check the drawers, maintenance and that kinda shit. I make myself checklists every night and usually between 11 and 1. I try not to pass out... I usually do. It's just so quiet here."
"That's fucking awful, how do you stand it?" Kenny scoffed and shrugged.
"It's money, I could be doing worse things too so..." Stan grimaced at the words and what he meant by that, and Butters looked sadly at Kenny, who yawned once more.
They decided to leave when a few customers walked in, much to Kenny's disappointment, and chilled back at Kenny's house. Butters wasn't used to the idea of calling it "his" house or "their" house because although he lived there it still wasn't "his." Even though it felt like home, and was his home, he couldn't claim credit to Kenny's hard work.
After nearly three hours passed Kyle and Stan decided to head home, and fifteen minutes later Karen was dropped off by Ruby. She looked ready to keel over but giggled as she stared at the staircase. As Butters approached her, he could smell pot on her, and shook his head. Kenny wouldn't care as she was now, sometimes, included in their partaking.
"Butters your hair is like..." she trailed off as she flicked a lock of his bright blonde bangs, "poof!" He furrowed his eyebrows as he helped the giggling girl up the stairs. "I have no legs..."
"Yes you do, Karen, you might not be able to feel them, but they're there." She looked down and made a horrified face.
"I have ugly feet!" He looked down and saw her normal looking feet with long toes; a McCormick trait. He shook his head but let her rest on his shoulder as they arrived to her room, "Butters I think Ruby may have kissed me but I'm not sure." Karen murmured as she sat on her bed. She undid her jeans and pulled on her shorts, Butters turned but was used to seeing her in nothing but her under attire due to play performances and the fact that they now lived together. She didn't change her shirt and laid on Butters' shoulder with a pouting expression.
"Was it your first kiss?" She shook her head.
"Ike kissed me last year... but that's it. I've been too scared to tell Kenny." The sad thing was Kenny already knew; it was the reason he and Ike acted more like brothers. Butters remembered the long conversation they had and the fear in Ike's eyes as Kenny dragged him on a walk one day in July; they had all laughed at his expression and knew Kenny was just trying to intimidate him. After that Ike seemed to look up to Kenny, almost more than his brother, and was often included in their antics.
"You shouldn't be scared... but why do you think Ruby kissed you?"
"Because she's bi," she replied, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Butters bit back his shock, and rubbed her back comfortingly, "but I'm not... and I've told her. I'm not... and what if she likes me?"
"Well, that's something you shouldn't worry about right now," Butters mumbled, brushing her long hair off her shoulders. She moaned sadly and looked up at Butters with the most innocent puppy eyes he had ever seen. Damn these McCormicks, he thought with a grimace. "You're high, she's probably high and if it's awkward tomorrow just talk to her, okay? You can't help who you like and don't like, besides, I know girls like to kiss and not say they're bi or lesbian or whatever."
"I'm weird, Butters." She mumbled, biting at her thumbs. He pulled her hand away and saw her skin reddened from her anxiety. Butters was well aware she struggled with anxiety and had depression as a young child, that's what Kenny had told him, and probably still did. But he wouldn't let her harm herself, neither would Kenny, and she knew that.
"Everyone's weird. Kenny's a dork, it's a family trait." Karen smiled softly but shook her head as she clasped her hands. She then pulled at the pony-tail on her wrist and let it snap on her skin; a temporary fix to a permanent problem.
"Can I tell you something... personal?" Butters stiffened but nodded; he knew what she meant and he wasn't quite sure he could be of any help in this department. It was moments like these he wished he understood girls more. Maybe he'd have to take Bebe up on that offer she keeps pestering him about... "I don't know if I have the ability to be physically attracted to someone. The thought of sex just... I don't like it. Why can't it be about love and emotional attraction? And Ruby talks about like her hormones and all that, I'll spare you the details, but I've never... um... had any urges or anything. And I'm scared something's wrong with me." Butters sighed softly and laid down on the bed with her. She curled up into his side, much like she did with Kenny, and clutched his shirt gently.
"Well, there's stuff that doesn't fit any label. There is so much about human sexuality we don't understand. Like, have you ever heard of bigender? Or non-gender? 'Cause apparently I fit there, but... I don't. Like, that doesn't even describe how I feel, or who I am. I'm a little grey in the mix of rainbows and black and white and... there's so much we don't understand about ourselves. Did you know Tweek is asexual?"
"Huh?" Butters nodded.
"Yeah, but even then it's not really how he feels, you know? Because yeah it's easier to label but... Karen, you've been through a lot. I mean, you woke up from a coma barely two years ago. You shouldn't have to worry about stuff like that. All you need to do is be comfortable with what you do and who you do it with." Karen nodded and nestled her head in his chest.
"So it's okay if I'm weird?" Butters nodded and kissed her forehead.
"The best people are," he replied quietly. He stared at her ceiling, at the glow in the dark stars she sticky-tacked to make various constellations, and listened to her breathing gradually even out, telling him she fell asleep.
Butters stayed with her for awhile, like he usually did when Kenny was at work, then kissed her cheek and carefully crawled out of her bed without waking her. He tucked the blankets up to her chest and left one of her hands out; just the way she liked it. He knew in a couple of hours she'd wake up and make her way into Kenny's room. Most nights she did. He often wondered why she just didn't sleep in the same room but then knew if that happened there would be way too many awkward confrontations and conversations.
Yawning, he walked to the kitchen and opened the fridge. He still had an hour and a half before Kenny was off work. Although he was told not to wait up for him this had been completely coincidental and sleeping now seemed pointless, until Kenny came home. So he examined the contents of the fridge to make a one-person meal, for Kenny when he got home.
Butters settled on grilled cheese. Considering how late it was for Kenny to be eating, and he'd be going to bed soon after, he didn't want him sleeping with an upset stomach... not that Kenny would care. Food was food to him. He only made one sandwich, because Kenny still had a ridiculously small stomach from living off of one frozen waffle or one toaster pastry every couple of days. Even after living with the Broflovskis he would still get full easily.
After making the sandwich and putting it in the oven to keep warm, Butters curled up on the couch and turned on the television. He watched the re-run of the local news that they played for the night owls, which turned into a re-run of a show he had never seen. He only half paid attention, and with every minute he felt his eyes growing heavier and heavier.
He must have dozed because what felt like ten minutes later there was a rattling of keys at the front door. Butters startled awake, feeling refreshed, and rubbed his eyes as the door opened. Kenny looked at him with a sad expression and shook his head as he set their backpacks by the door.
"I told you not to stay up," he sighed softly as he set his keys on the keyholder Butters bought. The bright blonde shrugged and yawned as he stood up on shaky legs.
"I technically didn't..." Butters mumbled and Kenny smiled as he wrapped his arms around him.
"I can see that. C'mon, let's get you to bed, sleepyhead." Butters shook his head and made a whining noise as he burrowed his head in Kenny's chest. He felt Kenny's lips kiss his neck and his arms held him tightly.
"I don't want to sleep, you just got home and I made you food." Butters told him, voice muffled by Kenny's body. The strawberry blonde stroked his hair and then rubbed at his own eyes as he led Butters to the kitchen.
"You didn't have to, but thanks." Kenny said as he walked straight to the fridge. Butters stopped him.
"Oven," he mumbled as he sat at the table. Kenny opened the door and grabbed out the sandwich, without using an oven mitt which annoyed Butters to no end.
"I haven't had grilled cheese in forever!" Kenny chirped excitedly, then opened the fridge as he grabbed the carton of milk and the pitcher of green tea. He poured them each a glass, Kenny took the milk, and balanced the two in hand as he sat down. He split the sandwich and offered one slice to Butters, who eyed it warily. "C'mon, you know I feel weird when I'm the only one eating." Butters sighed at that and took the half of the sandwich.
Butters couldn't help but laugh at the child-like expression on Kenny's face as he ate his half of the sandwich. He first bit off the crust, then squeezed the bread so the melted cheese would gush, and then finally finished off the bread. It was an incredibly weird thing to watch, but it was so incredibly Kenny that it was adorable.
"So, when's the last time you had grilled cheese?" Butters asked; he had to. This was honestly something he had no idea about Kenny; and the thought of not actually knowing something about him was slightly thrilling. Kenny looked at the few bites of his sandwich and grimaced.
"It was the last time I saw my grandma. Every Saturday we'd go visit my grandparents and my cousins would be there so it was really cool. And she made all of us kids grilled cheese sandwiches but she always added an extra slice of cheese in mine because I was the only one who didn't want the crust taken off 'cause it's my favorite part of bread. But she was making dinner one Saturday and she collapsed and hit her head on the counter. I always felt guilty 'cause she was making grilled cheese sandwiches and it had crust on it so I figured it was mine."
Butters stared at Kenny with his mouth slightly parted in awe. He watched as Kenny stared at his sandwich with a sad look in his eyes. He reached for his hand and Kenny smiled softly as they locked fingers.
"That's... wow. That's really sad. But it started off cute so I'm not sure how I should feel. How old were you?"
"I was six," Kenny replied, then finished his sandwich with a quiet gulp. He wiped his hands on his jeans and yawned quietly. "But it's okay, she's in heaven so..." Butters looked at him for a moment; he never knew he could see his family when he died. That was something he didn't talk about.
"Have you seen her?" Kenny nodded and swirled his glass of milk a couple of times.
"Yeah, her and my cousin Jake and my uncle Steven."
"What about your..." he trailed off, unsure if that was out of line. But Kenny knew what he was getting at, and he sighed softly.
"My mom?" Kenny asked quietly, as if he didn't want to say the words too loud. Butters cursed himself as he nodded, and Kenny bit his lip. "I'm not sure where she's at. I've seen her, I've talked to her... but I don't exactly know where she is."
"You've talked to her?" He couldn't help but ask. Kenny nodded and looked slightly uncomfortable.
"Yeah... couple of times. But... it's hard, Lee. She should be here... she should be the one making me grilled cheese sandwiches when I come home from work. I mean, don't get me wrong, that was a great surprise... but she deserved better than what she got. And she was so close, she finally kicked the rock and she tried not smoking pot but... she was gonna make a better life for us. And... I could have saved her."
"Ken..." he felt Kenny squeeze his hand and he rubbed his eyes and shook his head.
"I... I miss my mom." This was the first time Butters had ever heard him say that. He wrapped his arms around Kenny, kissed his cheek, and just held him in silence as he waited for him to speak again. "Today... yesterday was her birthday."
Everything clicked in Butters' mind. Now it all made sense. The reason he probably talked to the counselor, was a little more than slightly moody, and was so tense was because...
"I didn't know, I'm sorry." Butters murmured. Kenny shook his head and looked at him with a smile.
"No, it's okay, I just didn't want to bring it up. But, I just want my mom. I miss her... so much. And I get it. I get why it was so difficult for you to leave your house, and leave your mom. Because that was the most difficult decision I've ever made in my life and... she should be here right now. Oh my God, Lee, if she were here... you'd love her." Although he was tired, he wanted to hear Kenny talk about her. Because this was the first time Kenny opened himself up about his mother; he only met her a couple of times and his interactions with her were mostly brief. All he remembered of her was she was tired from working so much and upset with their father for not looking for a job to help her out.
"What was she like?" Butters asked. He saw Kenny's face light up and a smile pulled at his lips.
"She was the coolest. Like, take away the drugs and the drinking and she was the best mom in the world. She worked hard for us, took as good of care of us as she could, and she was fun. When she wasn't working she'd play with us, even when I was like 14. She didn't treat any of us differently, she just got upset with Kevin because he was drinking when he was ten, and Karen was fragile so she took more time with her. But at night she and I had our time together. I couldn't ever really sleep and we'd always just stay up and play games or talk... she'd ask me about school and my friends and then we'd play question games or come up with riddles.
"She had to take extra care with me though 'cause I'd die from the littlest injuries. I died from a bruise once, so every little cut and scrape was a big deal for her. She really liked simple things. She liked Christmas because she got a day or two off with her kids, and that was her present. New Years was a time to begin again, and Halloween was her chance to act like a kid. She was always just a kid at heart, 'cause she was thirteen when she got pregnant with Kevin, and sixteen with me. We always went outside during the first snowfall and caught a good luck snowflake, and the first flower of spring at our house was put in her bible. She loved winter the best because we'd go sledding and have snowball fights... but she was a mom too. She was strict, didn't let us get away with stuff, and she knew exactly why we cried or what was wrong even when we couldn't or wouldn't talk.
"She'd sing me lullabies when I couldn't sleep and she'd end up falling asleep with me, and then Karen would join us. Or we'd all listen to her read us bedtime stories, Kevin too, and we'd all fall asleep on whoever's bed we were on.
"I told her a lot of things because before I had you I only had her to talk to because why would I tell Cartman stuff? And she didn't judge me at all... I told her when you told me you thought you might be gay, and when Kyle and Stan told me too. She asked me right then and there if I was too and I cried so fucking much that night... and I told her I was confused and I didn't understand what I felt or why I did and she just told me she'd love me no matter what, all she wanted was grand-kids. She knew I always was into sex and girls and stuff, like Kevin was into drinking, and she got why I'd be confused and scared. But she said there was nothing wrong with wanting to be with another boy, as long as he was a good boy. She asked me if I liked any girls and I said Bebe was my favorite in our class and then she asked me if there was any boy I might have liked and I remember I just got really quiet and... it's like she knew. I remember her saying, "well I'm just saying that Butters is a sweet boy, not like that fat boy Eric you run around with." She was the one who gave me the idea that Kyle and Stan would be together, actually. It's like... she just knew. It was crazy that she was right but... she was like that." Kenny finished; somewhere between his memory purge they made their way into the living room, on the couch, sitting cross-legged in front of each other on each cushion. They held hands and their knees were pressed together.
Kenny appeared to both want to laugh and cry, and Butters felt tears sting his eyes as he looked at Kenny. The way he just opened up and spilled his heart, and spoke so highly of his mom made Butters wish that he could have a moment with her. It made him wish she was still here; he felt as if he could imagine her reaction: a scoff and a laugh as she told Butters how happy she was of her middle child. It also made him miss his own mother, in an unsettling way and it ached his heart. She was by no means as wonderful as Carol McCormick sounded, after all she tried to kill him, but she was still his mother. And he loved her all the same.
"She sounds amazing, Kenny... I wish I had known her better. I'm sorry..." Kenny shrugged and pressed his forehead against his.
"She liked having you over that one time when we were little, and that it wasn't because people wanted their kids to get sick."
"Which is dumb, my mom wouldn't let me go over after that though."
"Yeah, 'cause you stayed up late... I hated that rule."
"That extra fifteen minutes was worth it though!" Butters said with a quiet laugh. Kenny grinned and nodded. "So would your mom be 35 this year?" Kenny shook his head.
"34," Butters shook his head; she was twelve years younger than his mom. She had been way too young; most people were staring families at her age. It made no sense how God would let someone so young die, but then he looked at Kenny and... he just didn't understand.
So he leaned forward and kissed him gently. Which seemed to be the right thing to do, because the kiss left them both breathless and tingling. Kenny gave him that look, the one that gripped his heart and made him want to high-tail it to the bedroom; but this time it was different. His eyes were sad, wistful, and Butters wrapped his arms tightly around him. His hand raked through his long, soft hair and rubbed his back gently.
Butters looked up, at the ceiling, and then to Kenny. The light blonde bit his lip nervously, took Kenny's hand, and looked out the window, at the stars.
"Happy birthday, Mrs.-"
"Carol," Kenny mumbled with a smirk. Butters blushed.
"Happy birthday, Carol McCormick." Kenny squeezed his hand and looked out the window with him. Their temples rested against each other, and Butters sighed.
"Happy birthday, Mama."
Kenny was silent for a couple of minutes as he looked out the window. Finally, he turned to Butters and yawned.
"You should go to bed, Lee." Kenny said. Butters tilted his head, silently asking why Kenny wouldn't follow. "I have homework."
"Ken, you're about to pass out... I'll help you do it real quick and then I'll sleep."
But Butters wasn't used to staying up this late. His head was pounding, his eyes stung, and his body felt weird as he tried to focus on Kenny's homework. Thankfully they hadn't had much for the first day, and it was basically questions to refresh the memory of information from last year.
A half hour passed and finally Kenny closed his English book with a tired sigh of satisfaction. He looked to Butters, whose head had slumped forward and was breathing deeply and smiled softly. After putting away his books he turned off the lamp and gently lifted the smaller boy in his arms.
Butters moaned quietly and rested his head on Kenny's chest. His eyes fought hard to stay open, but the slight movements jostled him.
"Sleep," Kenny murmured as he walked up the stairs with ease. Butters grumbled without actually saying anything, and clutched Kenny's shirt. Butters shook his head and blinked slowly.
"Didja know Ruby's bi?" Butters asked. Kenny gave him a look, then gave a nod. "Oh..."
"Why?" Kenny questioned as he quietly opened the door to his bedroom. Butters curled into the bed as soon as he was laid down on it and grimaced when Kenny unzipped his pants.
"Not in th' mood, Ken..." Kenny rolled his eyes and smiled affectionately as he tossed Butters' skinny jeans in the laundry hamper. "An' 'cause she kissed Karen." The strawberry blonde's jaw dropped as he took off Butters' boxer briefs. "Ken, I said no." He whined.
"I know baby, I'm putting your pajamas on, now what's this about Ruby kissing Karen?" Butters groaned and tugged at the waistband of the shorts as Kenny slipped them up his legs; they hugged his bottom in a way that always made Kenny grow lustful. But he turned away and pulled the blankets over him, then shucked off his clothes briefly. Usually he slept in just his boxers, or naked, but Karen had been coming in during the middle of the night lately and that was more than just a little awkward for all parties concerned.
"They smoked an' 'pparently Ruby kissed Karen an' she's scared. An' Karen's kissed Ike but she's too scared to tell you. She also is repulsed by the idea of sex. Kenny, come t' bed..." Butters slurred and reverted back to how he spoke as a child when he was too tired. It always made Kenny smile, which he found difficult to do because of the information he was given about his sister. But he did, anyway, pulled on his Batman pajama pants, took off his shirt, and crawled into bed next to Butters.
Instantly the blonde burrowed into his side and tangled their legs together. Butters pulled Kenny's arm and wrapped it around him so he could lay in the crook of his shoulder. Kenny constantly radiated warmth and Butters loved it, as well as hearing his heart thump in his ear.
"We can talk 'bout it tomorrow, kay?" Butters mumbled, "promise..." Kenny nodded and kissed his forehead as he ran his hand through Butters' hair.
"Kay," he wouldn't be home until after midnight tomorrow, either, "I love you."
"I love you too. Now shh." Kenny hummed with laughter but grew silent as he stared up at his ceiling. His eyes stung but he couldn't will himself to fall asleep. The silence was deafening and the moon shined brightly in his window.
His mind wouldn't stop racing and Kenny had given up on sleep for the night. All of the events of the day ran through his mind like a movie reel that he just wanted to break. Thoughts of his mom joined the clutter, and the worry for his sister whirled it all around like a hurricane. He groaned in dismay and threw his head back.
The quiet sound of the padding of feet hitting the cold wood floor sounded and Kenny lifted his head slightly from his pillow. His door creaked open and Karen poked her head in with splotchy cheeks and bloodshot eyes.
"Oh, Kar..." he whispered. He heard a quiet sob and she ran to his side of the bed, quickly falling into the blankets with them, and in his arms. She burrowed her head in his chest, paid no mind to the fact he wasn't wearing a shirt, and tried to bury herself into him. Tried to hide from the world. He lifted his hand and caressed her hair, soothing her the way he had seen their mom do so many times. It's why he always did it.
Kenny felt her shake and sob against him and all he could do was hold her tight and kiss her head. Her arms wrapped around him and every tear and every breath was comforted by a quiet hush from Kenny.
"What's wrong, Kar-bear?" he whispered, just as he always had. For a moment he felt like he was ten again, and she was eight, and they were back in his tiny closet of a room. Karen sniffled and shook her head, "you smell like pot."
"So do you."
"Touche," Kenny mumbled with a slight smile. Karen laughed through her tears and took a shaky breath before she looked up at him.
"I-I want mommy..." the last time he had heard those words were when they had been briefly put into foster care. He felt himself tense, tears burned his eyes, and he bowed his head to her. She whimpered and he felt her tears drop down his neck.
"I know..." he trailed off, voice wavering ever so slightly, "me too..." he finally admitted, which caused his sister to cry even more. "I-I miss her so much and... I'm sorry." His voice broke yet no tears fell from his eyes, "I'm so sorry," he told his sister, his mother, Butters, everyone. Everyone except himself because everything was his fault. Maybe he was a little sorry for that.
"I had a nightmare... and... I haven't in a-a long time," she whispered, resting her head on his chest as Butters had done. "And... something happened tonight and..."
"What?" Kenny asked gently. Karen sniffled and rested her hand over his sternum, next to Butters'.
"Ruby kissed me... and I'm straight." Kenny sighed heavily and tucked a lock of her brunette hair behind her ear.
"Did you kiss her back?" Karen shrugged her shoulders and lowered her eyes. Tears fell again, and Kenny wiped them away quickly. "It's kind of instinct..."
"I don't want to screw things up, Kenny... I... Ike likes me, and I like him and... I've been keeping all this from you because I'm scared that you won't let me date and-"
"Karen," Kenny interrupted her, "just because I don't want you hurt doesn't mean I would stop you from being with someone. You're my little sister and all I've ever wanted is for you to be happy. If that's with Ike, then don't be afraid to tell me, I'd rather see you off on dates than you sneaking behind my back. You already smoke pot with me, you can date," he said with a small laugh. Karen sobbed and smiled and hid her face in his shoulder. "Is there anything else you want to tell me? I know it's late and you need sleep but... I want you to talk to me... about anything. Everything."
"Is it... weird to not exactly feel physically attracted to anyone ever?" Kenny looked at his sister with a small smile and shook his head.
"Not weird at all, not wanting to have sex or not having interest in it is kinda normal. You are who you are and whoever you end up with is gonna have to be okay with that, or they're not good enough for you."
"You think so?" She whispered with drooping eyes.
"Karen, the most perfect guy in the world won't be good enough for you. But you have so much time to find him, and figure out your own... feelings and... stuff." Karen couldn't help but laugh at that and closed her eyes as her tears finally dried and a smile tugged at her lips.
"Did you always love Butters? Or was there someone else?" Karen asked; Kenny sighed heavily and closed his eyes. That was a can of worms he tried extremely hard not to discuss. Ever.
"Butters wasn't my first relationship, no..." he mumbled, "but I knew when I was eleven years old that I liked him, and that changed to love, but I didn't want him to be stuck with me." Karen lifted her head from his chest now. Although she looked tired, she was curious, and Kenny knew she wouldn't fall asleep until he told her.
"Who was your first?"
"Bebe and I always had a thing, up to when Butters and I started dating. She wasn't my first girlfriend though, remember Tammy?"
"Do fourth grade relationships count?"
"That one did, I got my first blowjob then." Karen covered her ears and pulled away from him harshly, "hey it's true... a part of life, Kar-bear."
"I'm never giving one of those..." she trailed off; Kenny just smiled and put his arm on her back. "But first real girlfriend, who was that?"
"I guess Bebe, but she was dating Clyde... but they broke up for awhile, then got back together after that summer. That was a really good summer." Karen saw the distant look in his eyes and rested on her elbow.
"Was she your first...?" Kenny nodded.
"Most embarrassing moment of my life... but she was cool about it." Karen would ask him about that later, maybe. But he could tell right now she was cherishing the fact that he was opening up to her.
"So then you dated Butters?" Kenny shook his head, causing Karen's eyes to widen. "You dated someone else before him?" Kenny nodded; now he was feeling ready to clam up. But Karen deserved to know.
"I uh... I was with Craig for awhile." The brunette's jaw nearly dropped to the floor and he felt his cheeks heat.
"You hate each other!" She gasped. Butters stirred on his other side and Kenny stared at the ceiling. "Is that the reason?"
"We don't... hate each other, we just... there were issues we never worked out and there's no point in going back. Craig thinks he understands and I think I understand but neither of us do, we're just too stubborn to admit that." Kenny murmured, then rubbed his eyes. There was definitely no way he'd sleep now. And it looked like Karen felt the same way.
"What happened?" Kenny sighed heavily and laughed a little.
"More like what didn't happen," he grumbled, and caught the look on Karen's face, "it started because he knew I could die and he used that as stress relief."
"W-wait, he killed you?!" She barked angrily, Butters moaned softly and burrowed deeper into Kenny. She blushed and whispered an apology to Butters, who snuffled and rested his hand on Kenny's hip bone.
"Yeah. So that's where it began... and that's when I was uh... working under dad's orders so I didn't really care. And so we agreed on a no-strings attached kinda deal. Only strings ended up being attached and they were painful strings and trust was called into play and..." he trailed off, "what it comes down to is we got so caught up in being second best that in our minds we were the best we could get. That's how it was for me... I don't know about him. So when I began to date Butters and he... we never saw each other again and I guess... that's that."
Silence filled the room and Kenny waited a few moments for Karen to say something. He looked down at her, saw her eyes closed, but by her breathing he knew she was awake.
"Did you..." she trailed off sleepily, "did you love them?"
"Yeah," Kenny answered, "as fucked up as I was they helped me. And Butters too... I guess it's different but I don't regret being with them because they made me happy. But it's the past and we were young and stupid and... all I've ever wanted was him. And I have him, Karen, and I don't understand how. But the love I had for them was different than how I love Butters. And you'll understand that, you'll get what I'm saying... unless you're lucky and end up with your soul mate on the first go. Which you should, you only deserve that."
""We accept the love we think we deserve"," Karen quoted before she drifted off to sleep. Kenny was quiet as he contemplated those words. For the first time he finally understood them, and understood how true they were. As he glanced at his sister he smiled softly and brushed her hair back with his fingers. Then he turned his gaze to Butters and stroked his cheek with his thumb. The smaller boy stirred and squeezed Kenny tighter. It's what he needed to feel as his mind wandered to places he kept quiet.
There was no chance of sleep tonight.
