49. Tris: Against all odds

Saturday

Christina is getting mad about her wedding. Now the Home's opened, I promised to help her, along with her mother and sister. It's not for my skills about fashion and decorating so I wondered why she insisted so much at first and now I got it : someone has to keep her head clear out of us, and it seems it's gonna be me. Oliver takes good care to avoid the house when we're having wedding councils, and there are moments I wish I could do the same and flee. The problem is candor say everything they think about, so they keep arguing over nearly every detail for hours.

I got to give advice on her dress, even if I'm a waste at fashion things. Abnegation does not prepare you best for an ex-Candor wedding. I can say I like her dress though: it's a really beautiful ball gown dress. She designed a white top with delicate lace, that wonderfully underlines her bare shoulders and below the waist, it's just a full black skirt. I helped her choose between her 4 different ideas of dresses, because her mum and sister kept changing minds every day. I did not like the plain white and plain black ones as I thought the mixed colored one reflected better what Christina really is. I put this dress first from the two left only for the shape of it that felt more stylish to me than the slim other dress. I also imagined the way her brown bare shoulders would appear above the white strapless bustier, and I found it good. The other dress had lost of white lace over the black top and skirt and laced sleeves too…I believed it was a little too much. Against all odds, she trusted me in this and I hope she won't regret it…

That's why I'm in for the first fitting today, along with her mother and sister -again. I'm not fond of it but I owe her so much I can't refuse her anything right now, she's my best friend and she did the same for me. The big difference is that SHE liked that. When she steps out of the fitting room I stay speechless. She looks just gorgeous. I feel I might like fashion and shopping someday.

xxx

I come back home at 5.30 and I notice Tobias fell asleep on the couch. There's something unusual but I can't get what. I take my shoes off and I suddenly realize what's wrong: silence. A deadly silence. I call " Adam? Natalie? Mum's back." while going to the room. The door is closed and I open it carefully maybe they're asleep too that would explain why Tobias…

"Oh my god, what happened!" I yell "Tobias help!" to wake him but he's already up at the door. Natalie is lying on the floor blood dripping from her head. Adam seats prostrated beside his bed, his arms clutched around his knees. He's rocking frantically back and forth.

"I'll call an ambulance," says Tobias.

I feel Natalie's pulse…it's beating faintly. She has probably just fainted but I don't know how much blood she lost. I run to the bathroom to find gauze and a bandage to stop the bleeding. I wrap it tightly while I try to speak to Adam.

"Adam, it's mummy, look at me. Adam… can you tell me what happened?"

When Tobias gets back, I give him a sign to try helping Adam out of what looks like a state of shock. He takes him in his arms and he seems to awaken but he looks dead frightened. I hear Tobias speaking calmly to him "Did you have a fight?" Adam nods. "Did you punch her?" He nods again. "How did she hurt her head?" Adam shows the nightstand where a little blood shows on the corner.

I think my bandage is OK. The door bell rings and minutes later I'm in the ambulance with Natalie. Tobias decided to follow in the car with Adam. He seems badly shaken, as he wouldn't says a word to any of us.

I feel a pang of guilt, I should have seen this coming and let them in separate rooms. I knew Adam could be violent and I underestimated the risk. I feel paralyzed by fear and I'm hating myself at the same time, for not having anticipated this. I won't be able to forgive myself if anything happens to Natalie.

As soon as we get to the hospital a young nurse comes around and takes us to a separate room. She takes a look under the bandage and says that it stopped the bleeding which is good. She and explains they will make an X-rays and make stitches to Natalie's head because the wound is too wide to heal.

I'll have to wait outside the exam room because X-rays are dangerous for pregnant women. Tobias just arrived with Adam so I decide to stay and try to talk with him, while Tobias stays with Natalie. I sit with him in the rest room and take him on my lap. I start stroking his hair and I decide maybe words are not the best way to communicate right now. I try to choose the best song to break this silent wall he built. What comes to my mind is a lullaby from the old world named Brahms. I hum the tune and I invent words along to say it's OK. I feel his tension release a little and when Tobias comes back 20 minutes later, Adam is asleep.

He sits next to me and says that the checkup is finished, there's nothing serious. He explains "Natalie had a small concussion which provoked her passing out. She will have to stay overnight, because she's quite weak and they want to be sure nothing happens during the night. They say that if she does not have any headaches or vomits during the night, she'll be all right. As it is not too busy tonight, they found a double bedroom, where one of us will be able to stay with her overnight.

I cut him "I will. This is my mistake; I want to be here when she wakes up. Anyway I won't be able to stay home worrying and not knowing what happens."

He looks at me worried "Why on earth would that be your fault?"

"I knew he was trained to fight and be violent, and you know what he has been through with Marcus and… and I should have helped him controlling this. I should have felt and done something. I'm his mother!" I feel tears of frustration coming to my eyes.

Tobias frowns and tilts my chin up "I forbid you to feel guilty about this. I'm the one who fell asleep, and we are both responsible for them now. I'm their father. We will sort all this out tomorrow at home Okay? I'm sure she'll be fine, the doctor didn't seem too worried about her state."

I nod but inside I'm still frozen by fear… fear she won't wake up or have a brain damage. I cannot stand being into another nightmare.

He takes Adam in his arms and when I leave to Natalie's room he adds "Try to get some sleep. Hopefully there's no harm done yet and we will find a way to help him. I will help him. The nurse said I could come back at 10.30 for the doctor's visit."

I lie on the bed and I try to take my mind away from the thought of Natalie having any brain damage because of my carelessness. I look at her and I try not to cry but I'm just too worried and I finally let go and tears fall down on the pillow. I don't know how long after that, I eventually feel so tired that I fall asleep despite my angst.

A/N : Thank you all for your nice reviews.

Shout out to NayNay2014 for reading everything I write straight, and nearly always reviewing.

Guests and others, please go on with advice on the baby's name because I'm still searching. I will take any suggestion and make a choice when I get there. Thank you for taking time to help me anyway.