Cornodopia - Ha, you reviewed just a couple of minutes before I posted! And thanks!

DarkLadyRebel - Of course! The hallway was boring enough to make his eyes hurt...

A - Tybalt's in for torture

Oreoskidz - Yay! You missed him, didn't you?

It is time for the Capulets to have a lovely family lunch together :) Will things go to plan?


"IT'S READY! COME AND GET IT!" called Regina.

"Oh God" groaned Allegra, from where she, Hermia, and Mercutio (still in his sleeping suit) had been setting up the room she was going to stay in.

"You guys have to eat it!" sniggered Hermia "You threw up last time, didn't you, Mercutio? I filmed Child Swap and I watch it daily!"

"Shut up. I'm going to tell her, I actually am. I don't care what Tybalt does to me in revenge, as long as I don't have to eat that shit!" cried Mercutio.

Still laughing, Hermia waddled down the stairs. Regina was standing in an apron eagerly at the bottom of the stairs.

"Come on, it's getting cold! Oooh, Mercutio, what a surprise! What are you doing here? Have you come for tea?"

"Ssh" said Mercutio, watching as Tybalt walked past, then Rosaline, then Juliet, then Ricardo, then his target.

"Did you miss me!" exclaimed Mercutio, leaping on Theobald with a hug. Theobald elbowed Mercutio in the ribs and he landed on his bottom.

"Well, that's not very nice" remarked Hermia "Be polite to the guest, Theo"

"He's not a guest!" snapped Theobald!

"Go home to your drunkard father" Tybalt added, to show off.

"I assume it was you who burnt the word 'Drunk' on my dad's lawn. I guess it finally proves to me that you can actually read and write" retorted Mercutio, getting up.

"Guys, stop it! It's not funny!" commanded Juliet uselessly.

"Well, I can. And I can count too" hissed Tybalt.

"Oooh, get you! Aren't you intelligent, Tibby? Bet you can't do your times tables yet" taunted Mercutio.

"I can actually" snapped Tybalt.

"What is going on out here?" grumbled Tancredo, wandering out of the dining room and into the hallway where they had gathered around the stairs "Hey! It's you! The one who hangs out with the Montagues! What are you doing in the Capulet Manor? Get out of here!"

"No!" cried Hermia "He's our guest. He's come to stay with us"

"No, he hasn't!" protested Tybalt, Theobald and Ricardo.

"What?" asked Juliet "I thought you were staying at your dad's?"

"Oh, yes he has!" chanted Allegra and Hermia over Juliet. The rest of the Capulet family turned up.

"What's the matter? Why is there shouting, already?" asked Lord Capulet.

"There is a Montague ally in the house!" snapped Tancredo.

"Uncle Egues, those two brats are pretending that Mercutio is staying with us for Christmas" said Tybalt.

"They aren't brats, Tybalt, don't be so mean!" scolded Juliet.

"Yes, he is! I mean, I just found him sitting in Allegra's bed-" Hermia began.

"Sitting where?" coughed Tancredo.

"My bed" replied Allegra.

"And doing what?"

"You don't wanna know" said Mercutio, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. Both Hermia and Allegra burst into fits of giggles. It didn't help when Mercutio ran his tongue along his upper lip. Even Juliet cracked a smile.

"Get out" said Tancredo.

"But he doesn't have anywhere to go!" protested Hermia, flinging her arms around him protectively "And I said he could stay. Pretty please or I'll cry?"

"You can cry" snapped Tancredo.

"Well, this is my house, my rules, and Mercutio, you better be on your best behaviour, or I'll call your mum and dad and they'll take you back home with them!" commanded Lord Capulet.

"My mum and dad don't live together anymore" replied Mercutio.

"Awkward" stated Allegra.

"I'll call your uncle then!" Lord Capulet said quickly.

"Ok. Thanks Eugene! You're such a babe"

"My name is Egues! I said that you could call me Egues, as long as you stopped calling me Eugene!"

Mercutio paraded into the dining room and sat himself down in Lord Capulet's place at the head of the table. Tybalt grunted angrily, and slumped down between Juliet and Rosaline. The rest of the family took their seats and ignored Mercutio's evil dominating grin.

"Sausage Surprise" said Regina, walking in from the kitchen carrying a steaming vat and placing it in the middle of the table.

"It looks lovely, Aunty Regina" lied Juliet "Doesn't it, everybody?"

"Yeah. It looks great" said Rosaline "It's our favourite, isn't it, everyone?"

"Yes, I've missed having it so much" Tybalt stated blandly.

"Here you, sweetipops. Let me give you extra, since you've been such a clever boy lately"

"Thanks mum" muttered Tybalt, as she dumped a spoonful on his plate.

"Aren't you going to taste a little bit, then, Tybalt? See if it's the way you like it?"

Cringing, Tybalt stabbed a piece of sausage and popped it in his mouth. He chewed, trying so hard not to look disgusted. Finally, he swallowed.

"Mmm, it's exactly the way I like it, mum!"

"Aww, isn't he a good boy! Such a good boy! Aw, it's so, so lovely, us all being together again. It's such a shame Ludwig couldn't make it this year, he loves sausages"

"Yeah" said Rosaline, taking her serving and passing it down the table.

"You know what I was thinking we could all do tonight?" Regina went on "Seeing as we're all together. How about, a board game? You used to love playing board games when you were little. Do you remember, Tybalt?"

"Yes"

"I used to beat you at everything" said Allegra.

"I'm not surprised" said Mercutio.

"Shut up" snapped Tybalt across the table at him "And you never beat me"

"No. I didn't. Because as soon as I was winning, you'd throw the board across the room and have a little tantrum in the corner. Diddums"

"What a bad loser" stated Mercutio.

"I did not. That was you. Stop deluding yourself"

"Tybalt, you're the one who's delusional. You have ginger hair, you see it everyday, and yet every time someone says you're ginger, you're either strawberry blond or brown. Make your mind up. Or just admit it. You're a ginger!" said Allegra.

"I'm not ginger!" yelled Tybalt.

"There's nothing wrong with being ginger, Tybalt" said Hermia, twirling a strand of her own ginger hair "There are support groups and everything!"

"No, no, my Tibby's not ginger!" clucked Regina.

"Exactly" said Tybalt.

"He's got golden hair. Just like a little angel. Don't you think?"

Theobald and Ricardo both started to snigger, so Tybalt shot a death glare their way. Mercutio and Allegra shared a glance, and then began to giggle to themselves.

"How long have you hated him?" whispered Mercutio.

"Since I was a few days old. He held me as a kid, I took one look at his face, and screamed the place down!" Allegra whispered back "What about you?"

"Since the minute he pushed Benvolio over in the nursery school!"

"The dick! What did you do?"

"Tipped my juice down the front of his trousers!"

Allegra snorted "Throw a sausage at him!"

"I'll get sent home!"

"Not if they don't catch you! Go on, I dare you!"

Mercutio grabbed a pot of salt, lay it on it's side, and then lay his spoon on top so that it was facing Tybalt. The family had slowly began to start talking again. With a shudder, Mercutio picked up a sausage and laid it on the spoon. Allegra was watching, and Mercutio suddenly felt an urge of confidence and the desire to show her what he was made of.

He slammed his hand down on the opposite end of the spoon. The sausage flew into the air, and hit his target on the shoulder.

"Who was that!" yelled Tybalt, leaping up. Allegra burst out laughing, and the whole table looked at her.

"Sausage Surprise" giggled the girl.

"Go to your room!" snapped Tancredo.

"Gladly. Who'd want to eat this crap?" Allegra got up and left the room, still laughing. Regina was stunned. The Capulets looked around amongst themselves for a moment. Hermia was tucking into her takeaway eagerly. Tybalt angrily wiped off the sauce, whilst Rosaline helped dab at it. Mercutio couldn't contain his sniggers any longer.

"I'm sorry. I have to leave you to go and laugh" he got up and chased after the young Capulet girl, laughing hysterically. As soon as she was in sight, he exclaimed "Did you see his face? His face! Oh my God, his face!"