Chapter 54: Arm's Length

Almost everything about the start of Sophie's junior year was absolutely perfect.

She was on student government. She made the cross country and track teams. She was loving her classes, even the photography one she thought she'd hate. She had an amazing boyfriend, and two wonderful friends. Sam and Dean had begun to go back on small hunts, leaving her with Cas, with whom she had begun the James Bond movies, starting from the very first one. She didn't even have the same problem that she'd had the year before, with her personal bully Mason, because his father had decided that boarding school was a better fit for him.

It was the kind of perfect school experience that Sophie couldn't have pictured a year before if she had tried.

The only problem, the only smudge of imperfection on an otherwise stainless year, was Remy.

Sophie watched in astonishment as Remy became a part of Lebanon Central's student elite. He ate lunch with the coolest kids in school and ate up all the attention he got from them. They were all completely awestruck by his brooding nature and bad boy attitude and sleek motorcycle. The hottest girls at school practically threw themselves at him, and all of the hottest guys wanted to be him. He ate lunch with them and conversed with them in the halls.

Lebanon Central wasn't quite like the stereotypical school in the sense that the so-called popular crowd was generally bitchy and unapproachable. In fact, Sophie was friends with a few people in that group and could strike up a conversation with pretty much anyone. She sort of transcended the whole clique issue with her genuine personality and sweet disposition.

But it was still strange to see her guardian angel hanging out with the "cool" kids.

As for her and Remy's...unique relationship, they got along. He seemed to always be around where she was, which wasn't too crazy, especially since Lebanon Central wasn't a particularly large school. But still, his omnipresence still got to her sometimes. They would sometimes have small exchanges in classes, ones that Sophie tried not to get too immersed in. And she could tell that even though he hung out with the popular crowd, he was still always focused on her. Anytime they were in the same room and she glanced in his direction, his eyes would meet hers. Anytime she thought about him, she felt the distinct sensation of knowing that he was thinking about her too. She knew it was just on account of the fact that their souls were tethered to each other, and not because she held any of his genuine interest, but it was still so bizarre to her.

And if she was being honest with herself, she was scared of growing close to Remy. She knew that if she let it happen, there was a potential for them to become friends. But he already knew so much about her, and not the kind of stuff that could be written down on paper. Sure, he knew about her past and her mom and Steve and her time with Sam and Dean, but he also knew the parts of her that couldn't be put into words, her character and her essence and the things that made up her soul. And it was scary to have someone know that much about you. She wasn't sure she wanted to make that connection any more tangible than it already was.

So she held him at arm's length at school. It was just easier that way. Besides, she didn't really want Jack to know that she was deeply connected to the one guy at school he seemed to hate. Remy didn't really help that whole issue. Any time her guardian angel was around Jack, he found a way to make a snarky remark that rubbed him the wrong way.

Sophie had eventually filled Jack in on almost everything that had gone down over the summer on her hunting trip. She told him about the vampires and about the bar with the drunk man she'd made an idiot out of, and about all the other adventures she'd had with her dad and uncle. She even told him about Taylor, which was a little hard for him to hear, seeing as he'd been possessed by her. As Sophie told him the whole story about running into her at the gas station and bringing her back to the bunker, he'd been twisting the anti-possession bracelet Sophie had given him, clearly not happy that the demon was still at the bunker with them.

But even after all of that, she never told him about Remy. She just didn't want to open that particular Pandora's box. And the longer she waited, the worse she knew his reaction would be once he finally found out.

But at this point, what was one more person that she held at arm's length?

What was one more little secret?


It was early November when Sam and Dean hit their first real lead in saving Dean's soul from Beelzebub's plot for world domination.

They'd been working a pretty shady case involving witches in Arizona, and Dean was starting to feel the pressure getting to him. He still had about six months until Beelzebub would be coming to collect his soul, but it was beginning to freak him out how his original time had already been cut in half. He, Sam, and even Cas had been using every spare moment trying to figure this whole thing out, but so far they'd had absolutely no luck.

So it was a shock when smack in the middle of their witch case, Sam's phone rang.

They were sitting in the Impala, staking out one of the women they were pretty sure was involved in all of the witchy activity. Dean was chomping down on a burger as Sam drank deeply from a cup of coffee. They were going on hour five, and they were both grumpy and annoyed. They weren't even sure this woman was their witch, they were just going off of a hunch.

Dean was just about to suggest that maybe their hunch was wrong when Sam's cell went off.

The older Winchester glanced over at Sam's lap. "Is it Soph?" he asked.

Sam looked down at his phone, a confused look on his face. "No. I've never seen this number before." He stared at it for one more moment curiously, and then he picked it up and answered it. "Hello?"

"Um, hi. Is this Agent Vedder?"

Sam looked over at Dean, who was focused on unbending the straw of his soda, and then concentrated back on the call. "Yes, this is he."

"This is Dr. Eugene Thompson. You visited me over the summer wanting information on the demonology behind Beelzebub for one of your cases, correct?"

Sam straightened in interest. "Yes, I did. Did you find something new?"

"I think I might have," Dr. Thompson replied. "There was this archaeological excavation done in August in Israel and they dug up some pretty neat stuff. One thing I was able to translate on one of the tablets that they recovered talks about a Ritual of the Stars, which sounds like something I think you might be interested in."

"Yeah, it definitely does," Sam said quickly. "Listen, my partner and I, we're caught up in a case in Arizona right now. But I can head over there in a day or so to collect whatever it is that you have."

"Alright then," Dr. Thompson said. "I suppose I'll see you in day or so then. I'll see you around, agent."

He hung up, and Sam lowered the phone and looked at Dean. "What was that about?" Dean asked, finishing the last bite of his burger.

"That was Dr. Thompson," Sam said slowly.

"Who's that, your gynecologist?" Dean asked, sucking the grease off of his fingers.

Sam shot him a look. "Cute, Dean. He's that occult scholar in Nebraska, the one we were going to talk to about Beelzebub when the whole thing with Sophie and the Bash happened."

At that, Dean looked over at his brother sharply. "Wait, really? What'd he say?"

"Just that he might have some new info on Beelzebub that he didn't have before," Sam said. "Either way, it's worth the drive over there."

"Yeah," Dean said, nodding slowly. "Want me to go with you?"

"Nah," Sam replied. "After we take down these witches, I'll go see if what Dr. Thompson has is worth anything, and you go back home to Sophie."

"You sure?" Dean asked, uncertain.

"Yeah Dean, we've been gone for two weeks. She's probably about to murder Cas."

Dean grinned. "You're probably right. Okay then. Sounds like a plan."

There was movement inside of the house they were watching, and suddenly the woman they were suspicious of appeared in her window, a large spellbook in her hand, and they could see her chanting dramatically.

Dean reached for his gun, which he made sure was locked and loaded, and looked over at Sam. "But first, let's stop this witch bitch and get out of here."


Sophie woke up the morning Dean told her that he was supposed to get home and was immediately struck with one simple desire—to talk to Taylor.

She wasn't sure what brought it on. Maybe it was the fact that the night before, when she and Cas had been watching Goldfinger, it suddenly occurred to her that while she was out in the bunker having a fun movie night with her angel friend, the demon that had tried to kill her twice was still locked somewhere not a hundred feet away from her. And it had bothered her throughout the rest of the night. She hadn't been able to focus on the movie or on Cas' funny and clueless commentary.

All she could think about was Taylor.

Maybe it had something to do with her growing feeling that whatever it was that Sam and Dean were hiding from her, it was massive. She could feel the growing tension around them even when she wasn't around, and she could especially feel it whenever she walked into a room and Sam and Dean would suddenly stop their conversation, or immediately change it to something she knew they hadn't been talking about before.

She was tired of the secrecy.

And while Taylor was many things, none of which were all that good, she wasn't secretive.

And so, after Sophie performed her daily routine of running, showering, getting dressed, and making herself some coffee, she armed herself with an angel blade and made her way down into the dungeon-like room in which Taylor was kept.

When the door creaked open and she made her way in, the first thing she heard was a laugh. "I knew you'd come down here eventually," a dry female voice echoed in the dark. "It was only a matter of time."

Sophie flicked the lights on, holding onto the angel blade as tight as she could, trying to push back her fear of this demon as she laid eyes on her. Taylor looked a lot different than the last time she'd seen her. Her clothes were ripped, and dried blood coated her entire body. Her hair could barely be distinguished as blonde anymore, but her sharp blue eyes seemed to glow from behind her bloodstained face. Sophie had seen her dad and uncle slip into the room occasionally when they thought she wasn't paying attention, trying to get more information out of the demon, but they never gave her an update. Probably because they didn't want to admit that their "interrogation" wasn't exactly all that effective.

But Sophie didn't want the information that Taylor couldn't give her. She just wanted anything at all.

"What is it, baby Winchester? You mustered up all this bravado to show up down here and now you don't know what to say?"

Sophie glared at the blonde bitch in front of her. "I have some questions for you."

Taylor rolled her eyes. "All of you Winchesters have so many questions for me. No one ever just comes down to chat. Do you know how boring it is in here, all day long, no interaction whatsoever?"

"I don't care about you at all," Sophie deadpanned. "I don't care if you're bored, or in pain, or dead. The only reason you're still alive is because my dad and Sam seem to think you might be useful to them."

"That's because that's true," Taylor said, eyes glittering.

"But how?" Sophie asked, taking a step closer to the demon. "How are you helpful? Every time they walk in here, they leave with no more answers than they had when they walked in, and yet somehow, you're still here. Why is that?"

At that, Taylor looked intrigued. "You mean you don't know?"

"Don't know what?" Sophie asked, eyes narrowed.

At that, Taylor threw back her head and laughed. "Well, hot damn, would you look at that? You actually don't know. They managed to keep you in the dark about it for this long? How is that even possible? Are you some sort of idiot? Did mama drop you on your head as a baby?"

Sophie stepped forward, pointing the angel blade at Taylor in anger. "What don't I know?" she asked again, this time through gritted teeth.

Taylor grinned, and Sophie found that the expression sent a shiver down her spine. "What do you know about a demon named Beelzebub?"

Sophie froze, confused. She racked her brain for why that name might sound familiar. "Isn't that another name for the Devil?"

"Depending on your theology," Taylor said. "But this Beelzebub, he's his own person, a powerful demon of Hell's First Hierarchy. The only creature in Hell more powerful than him is Lucifer. And Beelzebub is in the middle of a power struggle of sorts in which he needs Lucifer dead. And for that, he needs your father."

At that, Sophie flinched back from her. "My dad? Why the hell would this Beelzebub need my dad for that?"

"I'll tell you, but only if you do something for me," Taylor said slickly, a grin on her face.

Sophie crossed her arms, glaring at the demon in front of her. "You're a freaking idiot if you think I'd let you out of here just for a piece of information like that."

"I'm not asking for you to bust me out," Taylor said with another roll of her eyes. "I just want some entertainment. Maybe a book or something. Anything to make me not want to blow my brains out."

"I'd actually be totally okay with you blowing your brains out," Sophie snapped.

"But then I couldn't give you the information you want," Taylor replied with a grin.

With an exasperated groan and knowing full well that Taylor was just toying with her for pure entertainment, Sophie stomped out of the dungeon and returned five minutes later with two books in her hands. Silently, she tossed them into the demon's lap.

When Taylor saw the covers of the two books, she laughed. "You're clever, Winchester, I'll give you that. Angels & Demons and the Bible."

"You could probably use some Jesus," Sophie snapped. "I don't know him all that well, but I hear he's a pretty stand-up guy."

"You know, I like you," Taylor mused. "I'm almost regretting trying to kill you."

"I'm touched, truly. But I want my information now," Sophie cut in, not in the mood for Taylor's word games. "No more talking in circles."

"Alright, alright," Taylor conceded.

"Why does Beelzebub need my dad to kill Lucifer?" Sophie asked again, shifting the angel blade from one hand to the other. "And why is Beelzebub interested in killing Lucifer in the first place?"

Taylor leaned back in her chair, eyes focused on Sophie. "Lucifer and Beelzebub are both in the First Hierarchy, but since Lucifer is the highest ranking member, he holds all of the actual power. If Beelzebub were to kill him, then he would have all of those powers. He has a ritual to open Lucifer's cage which requires a soul, a very particular soul. And Papa Winchester meets all the qualifications. Actually, so does Uncle Winchester, but I'm pretty damn sure Beelzebub's pretty committed to using your dad now."

Sophie just stood there, shocked. Some demon was after her dad's soul. That's what this whole thing had been about? "Well, there's no way that'll ever happen," she finally said. "No spawn of Satan is getting a hold of my dad's soul. There's just no way he'd go down that road again. Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt."

"I'd agree with you," Taylor said smoothly, "if not for the fact that good old Dean already signed his soul over to Beelzebub. Made an agreement to hand it over to him on a silver platter whenever he comes to collect."

Sophie took a step back, the hand holding the angel blade falling to her side. "No," she said calmly, surely. It didn't cross her mind for a moment that Taylor could be telling the truth. "You're lying. He would never do that."

"But he did," Taylor assured her. "That case in Raleigh that they never finished? The one they cut off early? That's when it happened."

Sophie's mind was racing a million miles a minute. When they had come back from that case, she had been able to tell that something was off. Their demeanors had been dark and defeated, and she had just hoped that it was because they were tired after a long, hard, fruitless hunt. She never would have guessed that Dean would have just signed over his soul to a powerful demon.

"No," she said, shaking her head. "That's not…it's not possible."

"Sorry, sweet cheeks," Taylor sung happily. "But your daddy doesn't have more than six months to live."

Sophie was still in a daze when he heard a clamoring from behind her. "Sophie, I'm back!"

It was Dean, calling out to her from the door of the bunker. His voice froze her where she stood. "Sophie?" she heard him call out again. She immediately tucked the blade back into her jeans, knowing if he caught her in there with Taylor she was a goner. "Soph, where are—" She turned to leave just as Dean barreled into the room, watching as his eyes widened at the sight of her standing in front of Taylor.

"Sophie!" he yelled, grabbed her elbow and yanking her behind him. "Get the hell away from her!"

Still in a state of shock, Sophie let him pull her to the side. He turned his head towards Taylor. "I'll deal with you later, you ugly bitch."

Taylor just laughed. "See you later, darling!"

Dean turned back towards Sophie, roughly grabbing her and pushing her out of the room, slamming the door shut and locking it behind him. She remained silent as he pushed her towards the main room, and once they stepped into it he let go of her. "What the hell were you thinking?" he yelled at her. She wasn't sure she had ever seen him more furious in her life.

When she didn't answer, he kept yelling. "I gave you one rule when Sam and I left. One damn rule. Don't mess with the demon. It's a very good rule, one that keeps you alive! You don't go in there by yourself and talk to her! How could you do something so stupid? What if I hadn't been here?"

At that, Sophie felt herself begin to slowly thaw out, and her anger and grief began to unfreeze her. "She was chained and locked inside of a devil's trap, Dad, she wasn't going anywhere."

"I don't care!" he yelled. "Monsters escape traps sometimes, Soph! And then people get killed!"

She rolled her eyes at him. "I wasn't going to get killed. You're overreacting."

"Don't you dare roll your eyes at me over this, Sophie!" he practically roared at her, causing her to jump. "You're a smart kid, you really are, but what you just did was the stupidest thing you've ever freaking done! Sam and I were both gone, you had no idea who or what that bitch is or is capable of, and I could've walked in on her standing over your dead body!"

"Are you sure you're angry because it wasn't safe, or because of what she might've told me?" Sophie challenged.

Dean launched himself forward, prepared to yell more at her, but then when her words registered, he froze. "What?"

"Yeah!" she snapped, feeling anger rushing through her body, pure and white hot. "I had a great chat with the demon that's tried to kill me twice. And you know what? Turns out she's been more honest with me in the last ten minutes than my damn father has been to me for the last six months!"

The look of surprise and dread on Dean's face did nothing to lessen her fury. "What did she tell you?" he asked unevenly.

Sophie couldn't help the tears that sprang to her eyes. "Please, Dad," she started in a more vulnerable tone, her voice conveying her despair. "Please tell me you didn't sign your soul over to a really, really scary demon named Beelzebub. Please tell me you have more than six months to live."

The heartbroken look on Dean's face said it all. His eyes grew dark, and his jaw grew taut, like he was gritting his teeth. He stared at her with hard, pained eyes, and Sophie choked on a sob she was trying to hold down. Dean stepped forward, every ounce of his anger gone, replaced with shame. He gently placed a hand on her shoulder. "Soph—"

"No!" she yelled, pushing his hand off of her and stepping back. "You've been lying to me for months! You and Sam."

"Sophie, please, listen to me," he started, his green eyes begging, his expression one of utter heartbreak.

"No!" she exclaimed again. "How could you? How could you do that? Give your soul over to some demon? Haven't you learned anything about how that never works in the long run? How could you sign up to leave me?"

"That's not what I wanted, Soph, you've got to know that," Dean tried, taking another step closer to her. "He was threatening someone that I cared about, and I just broke. I told him he could have my soul. It was a choice I didn't want to make, but—"

"You should have at least told me!" Sophie yelled at him. Tears were running down her face now, and she wasn't even making an effort to wipe them away. "You let me just go on for six months, thinking that this whole routine…this whole life…could be something I could get used to! You let me believe that this family was working!" She screamed the last word just as her voice cracked, and she felt her own body quaking with the cries of pain and anger that she was trying to shove down.

Dean took another step forward, placing both hands on her shoulders. She had never seen this look in his eyes, this look of fear, like he was holding on to a rapidly deflating life raft. "Sophie, sweetheart, it is working. It's working so well. That's why Sam and I have been trying to find a way to fix this whole situation. We didn't want to worry you."

"Oh, bull!" Sophie yelled, pulling herself away from Dean again. She tried to pretend she didn't see him flinch from her anger. "A parent hides the fact that they're a month behind on paying the rent so that their kid doesn't worry, not the fact that they signed away their soul to unleash freaking Lucifer. You should have told me!"

Dean stepped back, the look of pain on his face clear as day. "I know. And I'm sorry, Sophie, I am. But I can't change it. So what do you want from me?"

Sophie stared at the man in front of her. What did she want from him?

She wanted him not to leave her. She wanted him to be there when she graduated, when she moved away from the bunker, when she got married and had kids. She wanted him to pick up the phone when she called him after a stressful day at work, so she could talk to him about her life and his life and realize that even on the worst days, at least she had this one man who cared enough about her not to leave her.

She wanted him to be the one person she didn't need to hold away from her at arm's length.

And she could understand Dean dying. Hunters died. That was a basic fact, like two plus two equals four or that Christmas Day is on the twenty-fifth of December. She had come to the dark but necessary understanding that while Dean was the best at his job, there was always a chance he might walk out of the door and never return.

But this. This wasn't what Sophie had signed up for. This was Dean, throwing himself away, intentionally giving up his soul.

Intentionally giving up her.

This wasn't the person she'd grown to love so much. Because that man didn't keep secrets from her, not ones that affected her so much like this. He didn't lie to her and keep her in the dark. He didn't give up on her.

This wasn't him.

"What do you want from me, Soph?" Dean asked again, this time yelling, his voice imploring her for some sort of answer.

She didn't even know who her father was anymore. The thought made her burst into sobs, and she said the first thing that came to her mind, what she felt deep in her heart and in her bones.

"I want my mom!" she cried, and then she fled the room.

She heard the sound of a chair being thrown angrily to the floor in the room behind her as she rushed into her room, slamming the door behind her. She stood there, sobbing with her back against the door, for about thirty seconds. She practically choked on her cries as they burned their way out of her throat, and she didn't even know she was capable of producing so many tears. She cried for what felt like a century, but was actually less than a minute. And then, in a sudden moment of clarity, she took a few deep breaths to calm herself and then made her way over to her school backpack.

Shakily, tears still falling down her face, she dumped the contents of her bag into a mess on the floor, and then proceeded to shove clothes from her closet, a pair of shoes, and some toiletries from her bathroom into it. Then she grabbed her phone, her keys, and her wallet, and then she burst back out of her room and made a beeline for the garage.

As she passed by the main room, where Dean was picking up the pieces of a chair she guessed he'd broken, he looked up. "Where are you going?" he asked in a broken voice.

She didn't answer, determinedly avoiding looking at him and continuing towards the garage.

"Sophie, where are you going?" he asked again, this time more sharply.

Her pace quickened, and she heard him call out to her again before she slammed the door to the garage and jumped into her car, racing out of there before she could change her mind.

Trouble in paradise. Tune in Wednesday to see what happens next (and if not Wednesday, then Saturday. My poor laptop is old and feeble and dying on me, and there's a chance he dies on me this week, so if that happens it'll be Saturday). Thanks for reading! ~ Lacey :)