March 3, 1991

Hi Diary,

We're in L.A. Again. Today was my first official day babysitting for Susie. She's what Grandma and Elizabeth would call a "trial." It's not that she's really difficult, but babysitting her is a challenge. I got to the apartment today at about 8:45. I had to babysit until 3. Susie's parents were going to her new school for day, to see what it's like. We had a talk and I found out what I needed to do. First things first was to give her breakfast. A lot of autistic children have eating and sleeping problems. Susie is one of them. She rarely feeds herself, and when you try to feed her, she simply won't eat. She just won't open her mouth. When she refuses to sleep, she'll wander around the house making noise. Susie's parents actually debated locking her in her room at night, just so they could get some sleep, but then couldn't bring themselves to do it. I was glad.

I found out something today about Susie that amazed me She can play any song on the piano, even if she only heard it once. It doesn't even matter if it was played on another instrument, like the violin. She memorizes it instantly. That amazes me because even though it's impossible to test Susie's IQ, it's thought to be below 60, which is extremely retarded. Susie hasn't been diagnosed as this, but she and other people like her, are referred to as "idiot savants", which means although they seem retarded, they have a talent which would require them to be what's considered smart.

Susie also seems to have a calender in her head. If you were to give her any day and year, she can tell you the day of the week it was. I tried it with Daddy's birthday, which is August 29th 1958. She said "Friday," which is correct. That is the only time Susie talks by herself. If you ask her if she's hungry or needs to go to the bathroom, nothing. She won't answer.

When I got to the apartment this morning, Susie was playing the piano. Susie's mom she'd do that 24 hours a day if she could. It's difficult to stop her, but Susie's mom said I'd have try in order to feed her. I went to her playroom where her piano is, and told her it was time for breakfast. Of course, she didn't answer. I tried to take her hand and lead her to the kitchen, but she wouldn't let me touch her. Some autistic children don't like to be touched. I thought for a little bit, and then came up with an idea. I put my hands on top of hers. Susie tried to keep playing, but I think she realized it was hard. I began to tighten my grip, not enough to hurt her, but enough to make her stop, which she did. Right before I removed my hand's from Susie's, I swear she looked right at me for a split second. She looked away right after that. That makes me wonder where her mind goes.

I was able to take her into the kitchen and feed her cereal. She ate it all. I guess she was hungry. I would be too if I hadn't eaten in 3 days. Right after breakfast, Susie ran right back to her piano. I took the time to look around the playroom.. Besides the piano, it was full of toys that would interest a two year old. That's the age that Susie became autistic, so I wonder if she's sort stuck at that age mentally. I'll have to find out. Maybe Claudia knows.

I went back to the kitchen and found a note asking me if I would mind straightening up a bit. I didn't mind, so I ran the dishwasher, vacuumed, dusted, and took out the trash. While I was straightening up I found a copy of the Los Angeles Times. I found an ad for an agency that finds nannies for kids with special needs. I thought it might be helpful for Susie's parent's, especially since I'm not here all the time, so I circled it. If someone can help out when I'm not here, that would be great.

When lunch rolled around, I made Susie chicken nuggets. When I put the plate down, I thought she' wouldn't feed herself, but she did. I guess it just depends on her mood. After lunch, I took Susie to the bathroom to change her diaper. She's still in diapers, because when she became autistic, she seemed to forget she was potty trained. That was a challenge in itself, since Susie doesn't like to be touched. She wouldn't let me take off her pants, and she just kept screaming. I honestly became afraid that people in the other apartments would think I was abusing her or something. Susie's parents came home during the ruckus, and knew right away what was going on. I apologized for not being able to finish the job. Susie's mom told me not to worry. She took over and got the job done. I got paid and went home. I went right to couch and lay down. Next thing I know, Daddy had come home and was shaking me awake. I was so exhausted I feel asleep! Daddy had been at the studio again. He was recording one song, a demo sort of thing. It doesn't have a name yet, and I'm not sure what it's about. Daddy had ordered some Chinese food. We went out to the back porch and ate dinner while I told him the babysitting story. I told him about Susie's piano and calender talent, and asked him if he thought the way I got Susie to stop playing the piano was bad. He said no. I told him about the diaper change fiasco. All he could do was shake his head. I think he felt bad for Susie and I, that we have this issue.

I'm tired, diary, so it's time for bed. Talk to you soon.

Katie