Kili was fresh from a bath with damp hair as he made his way through the labyrinth that was Erebor, headed towards the royal bedchambers. He had enjoyed the hot baths that morning after his daily training and only went by breakfast long enough to snatch a piece of fruit. He had not visited with Ila for a few days, wanting to let her rest and get to know her baby, before he bothered her too much. He had come shortly after Thora's birth to hold her for the first time, though uncle Thorin had seemed hesitant to let him do so. Ila had insisted however and Kili had enjoyed it very much. He as proud of himself, first for being so natural at it as Fili was stiff and unsure, and secondly for getting past the initial sorrow the newborn dwarfling had brought him. Not that he didn't wish she was his, but once he had gotten a closer look at her precious face he could not feel anything but joy regarding her.
Ila had taken to calling him and Fili "uncles," as that would be the more natural relationship they would take on with Thorin and Ila's children given their age difference. Truly he did not think of the little babe as his cousin anyway, no more than he really thought of Ila as his aunt. Had he not been in love with her she would have felt as a sister to him, but as he was very much in love with her he saw her as his heart's only desire, even though he knew it was treason to do so.
Kili has seen uncle Thorin at breakfast, so knew he wouldn't be interrupting anything which is why he chose to go at that time in particular. Uncle took every spare moment he could to be with Ila and the baby and he knew how very protective and possessive he was of them both. In Kili's opinion he was becoming too possessive of Ila, as she still had not come downstairs nearly two weeks since giving birth, and he knew Ila well enough to know that was Thorin's doing. Ila had a free spirit…she needed to wander open spaces and breathe fresh air. Just like he did. They couldn't help that they were restless…it was just their nature, as un-dwarflike as that may be. They were two of the same kind really, though no one saw that but him.
Kili came to stand before Ila's door and knocked, not wanting to catch Ila in a compromising position. He heard footsteps and Dwala opened the door, a great amount of laundry under one arm.
"Good morning," she said happily, seeming happier than usual actually and gave him what little bow she could with her load.
"Ila can receive you, she just put Thora in her crib." She spoke before Kili could say anything, then moved past him out the door, obviously very busy. This suited Kili, as he preferred to be completely alone with her anyway.
He thanked Dwala and strode towards the open bedroom door. Knocking as he peered in, he saw Ila sitting at her vanity raking a comb through her long dark tresses.
"Yes?" she turned to see Kili, and broke into a broad smile.
"Kili!" He exclaimed as she jumped up from her seat. "I thought you'd forgotten about me," she teased as she laid the comb down and crossed the room to clasp both hands with him. He took her hands and squeezed them affectionately; a happy and broad smile of his own returning hers.
"Never, especially not now that there are two of you," he said looking to the crib, hoping Thora was not asleep. He had entered the room without thinking to soften his steps or voice.
She was close by in her crib carved from the same stone as the rest of Erebor, intricate patterns trimming it and the inside lined with the softest of bedding. She was awake and trying to bring one of her feet up to put in her mouth, quite the little contortionist already.
Ila followed his eyes and giggled, reaching over to gently push her little leg down and replace it in her hand with her finger to grip instead.
"Stop that you silly little goose, that is not very becoming of a princess," Ila teased her little angel.
"She looks so much like you, even already." Kili observed.
"You think so?" Ila asked. "She has Thorin's eyes at the very least, and there was no question that she would have dark hair."
"She has uncle's eyes yes but your features. Your nose, your lips, your bright and happy disposition."
Ila laughed. "All babies are happy," she replied as she lightly ticked Thora's belly and she cackled in response.
"Can I hold her? Kili asked.
"Of course! You don't have to ask." Ila exclaimed.
Kili smiled and stepped over to reach into the crib. Thora shifted her gaze from her mother to him now and smiled anew, kicking and giggling up at him.
"I wonder that she doesn't remember the last time you held her, she seems rather excited to see you." Ila mused sweetly.
Kili felt his heart warm as he gently picked her up. He placed a hand behind her head just as Ila had instructed him the first time and held her to his chest. She wiggled a little but seemed pleased to be in his grasp, reaching out for his face. Unlike all of the other dwarves she had encountered he did not have a beard for her to tug, but she tried as she might to grab his scruff.
This was hilarious to Ila, who laughed heartily at her babe's determined attempts to grab a handful of Kili's face.
"You're lucky you don't have anything for her to firmly grasp, she loves to pull Thorin's beard and braids. He allows it but sometimes she doesn't want to let go."
"Yes, by the time I have a beard you'll be too old to play that game." Kili said to Thora who laughed at him, having no idea what he had said, but enjoying him all the same. She reached for his nose now and Kili indulgently allowed her to grab and slap at his face. She wasn't strong enough to hurt him, though he did think her strong and vibrant to not be two weeks old yet.
"But by the time you have little dwarflings you'll have a great beard for them to tug I am sure," Ila pointed out and went back to her vanity to retrieve her comb and set to work at her hair again. She had taken out her braids when she'd washed her hair the night before and was about to redo them when Kili had walked in. Her long dark waves spilled freely all around her, shining beautifully even within the dark rooms under the mountain. Kili admired her as her back was to him and she studying herself in the mirror. Motherhood had made her even more beautiful somehow, and he hadn't thought that possible.
He made himself tear his eyes away and sat in a nearby chair with Thora who was continuing her exploration of his face.
"We will have to get your brother more practice with her, he seemed rather afraid when he held her last." Ila spoke over her shoulder.
Kili chuckled. "Yes, he was afraid of dropping her I think. Uncle would skin him alive if he dropped his newborn princess."
"She liked him though, and she will grow to love you both. It seems she already loves you."
"She seems to like everyone, she has your good and social nature, not uncle's aloofness it appears." Kili said only half-jokingly.
"Well, she likes most that she meets, but she isn't quite sure about Dwalin yet." Ila remarked.
"Ha! What baby would be sure about that bear?"
"Well, his own will be I'm sure. Dwala is with child you know," Ila shared the secret with him.
"Really?" Kili spoke past Thora, not seeming to notice she was tugging hard on his earlobe now.
"Yes," Ila turned from her mirror to beam at him. "They haven't announced it yet but I am so excited I have to tell someone. Can you imagine it? Baby Dwalins?!" Ila giggled with delight.
"No, I cannot," Kili said resolutely but laughed too.
"It was only a matter of time. They are very much in love, and I am happy for it. Dwala deserves the world." Ila spoke devotedly of her friend and companion. She could not wait to hold the babe in her arms, and Thora would have a playmate! A companion for life, just as Dwala had been to her.
"It would be nice if they had a girl, so Thora could have a playmate. But the odds of course favor a boy." Kili spoke as a matter of fact, but then thought he might have said something he shouldn't.
Ila made no comment, only focused on braiding her hair. When she said nothing, Kili spoke.
"Ila….I meant nothing by what I just said. Forgive me." He said quietly.
Ila stopped her work midbraid and turned to look at him, confused. "What are you talking about?"
"About the odds favoring a boy….I didn't mean to suggest anything—"
"Oh Kili, I thought nothing of that. And I am not upset….I mean, I was for only an instant afraid of what Thorin might say or feel when I saw that I had a daughter, but he doesn't care and neither do I. We have plenty of time to have a boy and I have no doubt that I can produce one." Ila said confidently and went back to finishing her braid.
Kili felt relieved and went back to making faces at Thora, trying to make her laugh. That proved to be an easy task as the little babe burst into laughter, blinking her beautiful blues up at him. Kili forgot that Ila was even in the room for a moment, until her voice interrupted his concerntrated efforts.
"Why? What does the palace say?" she asked, so abruptly that Kili had to think about what they last said. Her voice was less confident this time, laced with curiosity and something else….
"The palace? Say about what?"
"About my having a daughter, not the son and heir that was expected?" Ila asked him plainly and turned to watch his face as he answered.
Kili had not been ready for that, and stumbled. "Oh….well I personally haven't heard anyone say anything in particular about that…everyone is overjoyed that there is a new royal…that their King has had a child…"
"But not a son. Has no one said anything at all? Thorin tells me nothing about what goes on outside these walls and especially wouldn't tell me something of that nature. But I know you will be honest with me." Ila said firmly and stared him straight in the eyes.
Kili nearly faltered under her gaze. He had to be honest with her, what with her insistency and her trust in him to tell her the truth. He would soften it though of course.
"Well…..the celebrations and feasting were not as extravagant as they would be if an heir had been born….and there was perhaps a little bit of…(dare he say it?)….disappointment that a direct and true heir was not produced….uncle is not the youngest of kings…..but no one was horribly upset or—"
Kili stopped himself, clearly seeing Ila's expression change at the word disappointment. He should have stopped himself well before that and he should have listened to his gut. Ila turned back to her mirror, busying herself with slipping a bead onto the end of her braid and securing it.
"Ila," Kili said softly, getting up and going over to her with Thora still in hand. He kneeled next to her and could see her eyes were watering a bit.
"Ila," he repeated. "How could anyone look at this and be disappointed?" he asked, holding Thora up to her. Ila looked at her babe and let a tear slip down her face.
"I do not know, for nothing has ever made me happier. But she is not what they all wanted….and….they, some of them must think me a failure for it. But I cannot help it! And Thorin loves her so it should not even matter what anyone else thinks!" Ila said, becoming very emotional out of nowhere, and taking her baby from Kili to hold to her chest. Thora was not picking up on her mother's distress thankfully and only smiled and buried her face in her mother's neck. Ila hald a protective hand on the back of her head closed her eyes, nuzzling her and instantly feeling a bit better.
"Ila, everyone will love her. When they see her they will forget they ever wanted a boy first. You are a queen….they expected it as it is your duty to Thorin and to Erebor—" Kili said and Ila's eyes popped open at him, and he realized he was about to say the wrong thing again and amended his speech.
"But you will have a boy, boys I'm sure, and all will be well. All is well. Please do not be sad and troubled. Thora is perfect. Thorin loves her and Fili and myself would kill for her, as would any dwarf in Erebor." Kili assured her and laid his hand over hers.
Ila smiled at him through her watery eyes and gave a little nod to say she knew he was right. She wasn't sure why she got so emotional just then, but the mere thought that someone, anyone might be disappointed by her Thora was enough to send her into a rage. How dare anyone in Erebor be the least bit disappointed that she was not a boy. She was perfect, and equally perfect boys would follow.
Neither of them had seen Thorin standing in the door, silently watching them. Kili was kneeling beside where she sat at her vanity, his hand over hers, Thora at her chest, and tears in her eyes.
"What is the matter?" he said, breaking the silence and startling everyone. He quickly crossed the room to Ila and Thora, checking to make sure both were alright. Kili rose from his spot and backed up, giving Thorin room.
"Nothing my love," Ila answered, sniffling a bit as she did. "Kili was only reassuring me about something."
Thorin was kneeling now, a large hand on Thora's back and another on Ila's arm.
"And what would that be? What troubles you enough to make you cry?"
Ila didn't want to say, she didn't want Thorin to know it affected her so much.
"Oh…just that Erebor is disappointed that Thora is not a son…" Ila answered.
"Where would you even get an idea like that?" he asked then looked to Kili.
Kili shook his head in defense. "Uncle I told her no such thing—"
"He didn't Thorin but I am not stupid—"
"That's enough. You need to be resting not worrying over such ridiculousness. Now back to bed." Thorin ordered, taking Thora from her.
Ila immediately began to protest. "Thorin I am not tired, I have been in bed for ages, I am going to start getting bed sores for Mahal's sake!"
"You will not. Now lie down and I will bring Thora to lie next to you. She will be wanting a nap too."
"You treat me like a baby as much as you do her," Ila said, becoming angry.
"That is enough," Thorin said firmly, his expression making it clear he was done with her protests. Kili had backed up a bit but was silently observing it all, becoming angry himself that Thorin was bossing her about so. Ila was clearly fine and did not need to go to bed, or to be spoke to in such a manner. He would never.
"Leave us, your aunt needs to rest. I will speak with you later." Thorin said to Kili. Kili inclined his head to Thorin, seeing he was in one of his moods and knowing it was best to get out of the way. He quickly looked to Ila to say goodbye but she was too embarrassed to look at him. He then simply turned on his heels and left, pulling the door shut behind him.
Ila waited to hear the antechamber door close and then rounded on Thorin.
"Thorin why must you treat me so? And in front of Kili? I am not a little dwarfling," she began but Thorin raised a hand.
"No, but you are just as precious. And I wish you would not trouble yourself with things that are not even true. Not to mention you will not listen to me. Now for the final time get into bed." he commanded and Ila pursed her lips and grabbed her skirts and stalked over to the bed, flinging herself onto it.
"That is enough." He said as he laid Thora next to her and laid down himself, so that Thora was on her back inbetween them. She was still happily oblivious to all the fuss around her, and even happier now that her father had appeared. She turned her head towards him, reaching for him with her little hands. Thorin obligingly gave her his finger to grab at and turned his eyes on her mother.
"Did Kili tell you that Erebor is disappointed by Thora?"
"No," Ila answered agitatedly.
"Then how did the subject come up? You have no reason to believe that otherwise."
"I asked him….I asked him what was going on downstairs, what everyone was saying in the palace about the birth….that's all. You don't tell me anything."
"There is nothing to tell….if I find out that Kili started that conversation—"
"He didn't, Thorin."
"Fine," Thorin stopped that particular line of questioning. "But you must stop worrying yourself about this. You are a queen, I have explained this to you before. The whole of Erebor does have some claim to you, as their monarch. They expect an heir, naturally, and must one day have one to rule them. And they will," he said stroking her face.
Ila knew he was right but was not going to stop being mad at him. She was tired of being confined and treated like she didn't know what was good for her. It was infuriating.
"Thorin, I've had enough of being treated like a prisoner. You must let me have some freedom from these chambers again."
"A prisoner? You feel like a prisoner with all I have given you?" He asked, getting a bit irritated himself now.
"That's not what I mean Thorin, you know to what I am referring." Ila said lowly.
Thora was giggling loudly now, entertaining herself with her father's face. She didn't seem to notice how dark his expression was 's beard had grown past his chin now and would soon be long enough for him to pull into a short braid. Thora would never leave it alone once he did.
"Thora is not old enough to venture out into the palace yet, I don't want her catching cold or anything. A couple more weeks and we will have a proper ceremony to present her to the kingdom. And as for you…" Thorin stopped, and Ila could tell he was trying in earnest to control his temper and was pacing himself.
"…you must not question my every command. I only have your well being at heart dear. That you think I mistreat you wounds me."
Ila frowned. She did not mean to make him feel that way, nor did she ever want to seem ungrateful. He had an infuriating way of turning her anger around on herself, and never seeing her side of things but making her feel bad for having her feelings. That wounded her too, just as he spoke of being wounded.
"Thorin….you know I would never do that intentionally…..but why can you never see my side of things?"
"Why must you be so reckless and without regard for what is best for you? You are irreplaceable," he said, being a little less angry now and stroking her face gently. "Do you not know how much I care for you, and worry for you?"
"Of course," Ila answered and took his hand from her face to hold in her own.
"Then take it easy for a while longer, please my love. And don't fight me every step of the way." He asked gently and Ila caved to him. Perhaps he was right. She hated that he always seemed to be right though, and that she never was. Still, this battle was lost, and there was no point in continuing to fight him.
"Yes, darling." Ila nearly whispered and kissed his hand. He smiled back at her and then looked at the dwarfling that had never ceased toying with his beard the entire time that very serious discussion was taking place.
"She is ever fascinated by me it seems," he said smiling at his daughter, pulling her to his chest gently and rolling over on his back with her lying on top.
"Females generally are," Ila added.
He gave her a sideways look but smiled. He picked Thora up with both hands and held her in the air over his face. She laughed loudly and fidgeted happily in his grasp. He slowly lowered her and gave her the litest of kisses before raising her back up, she laughing happily again.
"She is already in love," Ila observed, her heart melting in her bosom for the tenth time that day, and slid closer to Thorin to lay her head on his shoulder. Watching the two things she loved most in the world in their mutual adoration of each other, she forgot she had been angry at all.
A/N: So, I spoke too soon last time, Dean O'Gorman has been added to Dragon Con this month! *runs around room* *tears off clothing* *dies*
