Chapter 54: Growth
Harry suddenly blinked awake. He looked in horror at the knife he held tightly in his hand. He could have sworn he'd just used it to slice open his arm before passing out. Clearly that had been another dream. He quickly dropped the knife into the sink before running his hands through his hair. He needed to speak with someone immediately but did not think Mr. or Mrs. Weasley would understand. He knew Albus was an option but as much as he loved his guardian, Harry never felt like he could talk to the man. Harry thought next about the clinic and Jeff but really did not feel like bothering them. This led him to Professor Snape. The man insisted on teaching Harry how to call him via the floo system and instructed him to call any time during the night should he ever need to.
Harry got up from the floor and tossed some floo powder into the dying fire. Sticking his head in the now harmless flames, he called for his professor.
"Professor Snape's Sitting Room!" shouted Harry, keeping his eyes tightly shut. When he felt the spinning stop he opened his eyes and looked around. "Hello? Professor Snape?"
"It is quite early, Mr. Potter, what can I do for you?" asked the silky voice of Professor Snape, as he walked into the room.
"I…well…I had a nightmare about dementors and the Dementor's Kiss and when I woke up I felt really overwhelmed and really wanted to cut-"
"Are you in need of medical attention?" interrupted Professor Snape.
"No! I must have dozed off or zoned out again though because I thought I'd sliced my arm open then passed out from blood loss but when I awoke again I was still sitting with the knife over my arm. I put the knife down then figured I needed to talk to someone but I was not sure who and then I remembered your instructions," Harry paused for a breath.
"Would you like me to come through?"
"I…well yes, I suppose that would be more comfortable."
"Pull your head straight back to break the connection then step back to give me space."
"Yes sir."
Harry pulled his head out of the flames and quickly moved away from the grate. Moments later, Professor Snape stepped out of the grate and used his wand to remove soot from his robes.
"Would you rather go to the sitting room or take a seat at the kitchen table?"
Harry thought for a moment then pointed to the table. Professor Snape jabbed his wand at the teakettle Harry filled with water, heating it to boiling before adding tealeaves. Harry collected two mugs, a sugar bowl, and some milk.
Professor Snape filled the mugs and allowed Harry to add sugar and milk to his own before speaking.
"How did you hear about the Dementor's Kiss?"
"It was in the book Hermione gave me about the wizarding world, in the chapter about Azkaban. Albus and Mr. Weasley told me about Sirius Black escaping from Azkaban, which the book said is impossible, and then I was curious about Azkaban prison," said Harry, taking a sip of his tea.
"It is never impossible to escape from a prison. I do not know how Sirius Black accomplished it but I doubt it was by dark magic, like the paper suggests. What did Albus tell you about Sirius Black?" asked Professor Snape, as he gazed at the tense boy across from him.
"Just that he's after me. But how do they know he's after me?"
"They don't. They are guessing that he might search for you. Sirius Black is your godfather. He was a friend of your father during his school years. Your father and godfather bullied me during our school years yet I doubt Black is guilty of the crimes that sent him to prison. I hope he turns himself in to Albus. I'd like to say the Ministry would listen to him but they've issued a Kiss on sight order for him."
"What happens to the bodies of Kissed people?" asked Harry.
"The bodies generally do not live very long but are generally sent to closed wards until the shell dies."
"What about the innocent people? Can a Kiss be reversed?"
"No. Once your soul is gone, there is no chance of recovery. There is a spell you can use to defend yourself. It is called the Patronus Charm."
"Can you teach me?" asked Harry brightly.
"I will but not tonight. How are you feeling?"
"I'm calmer, less overwhelmed. I scared myself, especially when I awoke with the knife in my hand. I want to be done with that part of my life. I know it will not happen immediately but I feel weak from the panic attacks."
"The panic attacks are not a weakness. You must learn to let go of your emotions and not keep them all contained inside. I'm glad you contacted me. Have you been drawing? Perhaps we should get you started on an exercise program, I think it could help with your focus."
"I do yoga and go flying," said Harry.
"Yoga is relaxing and does help with your strength but I'm thinking you should try running or swimming,"
"I don't know how to swim."
"That is easily fixable. Do you want to start today?"
"I suppose, but where?"
"There's a pond and a river not far from here. I can suggest to the Weasleys that it is a good day for swimming and they will all go with you. Fred and George will be excellent teachers; I think they stated they'd taught both Ginny and Ron. I suspect the gang will be up shortly."
Just then they heard footsteps in the hall. Harry turned in his chair and saw Mrs. Weasley pushing open the kitchen door, wearing a dressing gown and slippers.
"Oh! Harry you're up! Are you all right? And Professor Snape, when did you arrive?" questioned Mrs. Weasley.
"Harry called a few hours ago. We've been talking and sharing tea for the past little bit. If you do not mind, I will stay through breakfast then see Harry and the other kids down to the river before returning to Hogwarts. Harry wants to learn how to swim."
"Of course you are welcome. Harry, dear, you could have woken us-"
Professor Snape quickly cut her off. "None of that, Molly. Harry contacted me, as instructed. He's done quite well and I am very proud of him."
Harry blushed and slurped his tea, earning a good-natured swat on the back of his head from his professor for his poor manners.
Mrs. Weasley quickly recovered and continued, "I'll just get breakfast started. The twins are excellent teachers."
Ron appeared next, sleepily greeting Harry. Mrs. Weasley suggested he go get dressed in swim trunks and take Harry to find a set to wear too. Ron did not notice Professor Snape and merely nodded in response to his mother and grabbed Harry's hand, pulling him up the stairs. On their way back down, they bumped into the twins, Ginny, Hermione, and Maggie. Ron said they were going swimming after breakfast and said they should all dress in swimming costumes.
Upon return to the kitchen, Ron noticed his professor sipping tea.
"Professor Snape!" shouted Ron, in astonishment. "Why are you here?"
"Move Ron," said Harry, poking his friend in the back, "You make a better door than window. Professor Snape arrived this morning, he was here when you came down earlier. Sit down, I'm hungry."
Ron continued to gape at his dark potion's professor as he took a seat and began adding eggs and bacon to his plate. Harry surveyed the breakfast spread before deciding on toast with marmalade and eggs. The other Weasley children along with Hermione and Maggie trickled in and dug in to breakfast with minor greetings directed towards their professor.
After breakfast, Professor Snape walked with them down to the quiet bend in the river. Those who knew how to swim set their towels on the bank and waded in. Professor Snape watched as Fred and George slowly coaxed Harry into the water before starting to talk him through the basics. Deciding all was well; he left the group and apparated back to Hogwarts.
Arriving at the gates, he saw a large, black dog, waiting for entrance.
"Where did you come from, mutt? You look like the sort Hagrid might keep. I'll let you in, stop growling, I won't hurt you," said Severus Snape, feeling slightly silly for addressing a dog.
The dog skirted around him and through the gate, heading for the gamekeeper's hut. Severus Snape shrugged and continued up to the castle. He contemplated stopping in his rooms but decided he needed to speak with Albus.
"Enter," stated the Headmaster's quiet voice.
"Ah, Severus, what can I do for you this morning?"
"Harry floo-called me very early this morning in clear distress from a nightmare followed by either a second nightmare or an odd hallucination. I went to the Burrow and spoke with him. When I left, he was calm and the Weasley twins were teaching him how to swim. I believe swimming will be good for giving him something to constructively burn excess energy. I would like permission to check on the state of the swimming pool in the upper dungeons and restore it for use by the students," stated Severus.
"You have my permission to look into the state of the pool. I think having swimming as an option for the students is a wonderful idea. I am pleased Harry contacted you and that he is well. I do hope you did not share with him the details of the relationship between Sirius Black and himself?" asked Albus, gazing intensely over his folded hands.
"Of course I told him! The lad was terrified that some random escaped prisoner was after him for no reason! I also told him that his father and Black bullied me during school but that even I do not think Black is guilty of the crimes that sent him to prison. It is better that he knows!" shouted Severus, breathing heavily.
A knock at the door interrupted their conversation. Severus glared at Albus who called for the unknown person to enter.
"Hagrid, what can I do for you?" asked Albus, motioning the half-giant into the office.
"Professor, sir, Professor Snape, I found this dog and I think you need to listen to him," said Hagrid as he gently nudged the large black dog into the room.
The dog looked worriedly up at Hagrid before turning his gaze on Albus and Severus.
"Hagrid, how are we supposed to listen to a dog's story?" asked Severus, recognizing the dog as the one he spoke with less than an hour ago.
"He's not really a dog, he's a man. Go ahead, transform now," said Hagrid, prodding the canine into action.
The dog seemed to sigh then stood up, transforming into a man.
