AN: Once again, I relinquish all claims to the Cullen family and to Bella Swan to Stephenie Meyer.
I also apologize for the delay, but know that I have two chapters after this one completed, and two more halfway finished with only one between those two that has to be written. I mention this because in the next 4 weeks I have to undergo two surgeries, but I'm hoping to still be able to post the completed chapters about a week apart while working on the other three.
Also, this story and a few others have been nominated for awards. You can vote for "Hunger" at silent-tear-awards(dot)webs(dot)com and "Siren Blood" and a few other at bringmetolifeawards(dot)weebly(dot)com(backslash)index(dot)html – although voting has not started at Bring Me To Life Awards yet; that site is still taking nominations. Voting is good, and I hope you will take to time to recognize at least this story when the voting opens up. Thanks for all the kind reviews, and I try to answer all of them as quickly as possible.
Now, on with the narrative.
Journal Entry Thirty-Nine – Out Like a Lion [March 1959]
The old saying is that March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb, but not in 1959. We experienced extremely warm, mild weather that March, more than normal in fact, until the last week of the month.
Emmett, Alice, Jasper, and I had planned to go hunting on the last Thursday of the month because of the sunny conditions, and how Alice missed the sudden change in the weather, I'm not sure. She was always the best weather forecaster and never made a mistake, but she completely missed the fluke storm that rolled in that day we left to go hunting.
I had driven Bella to school in the morning, and she had said she would ride the bus home after school so I wouldn't have to worry about her. That was the plan, but the plan failed when Bella missed the bus, so she began the mile and half walk home. She had only gone two blocks when the sky opened up and poured down icy rain on her insufficiently clad body. Weather predictions for the day had continued with unseasonably warm weather, so Bella had only worn a light jacket to school. By the time Bella reached home, she was drenched and sneezing. Her mother was quick to make Bella strip off her wet clothes and climb into a hot tub of water.
We had not arrived back home until an hour before school, so when I called to pick Bella up on Friday, her mother told me she was keeping Bella home because she wasn't feeling well. I ended up not seeing Bella until that evening after every one retired for the night. Bella continued to reassure me she was fine, but she felt slightly feverish all throughout the night. I did notice that she pulled herself as close as possible to me, and wrapped not only her arms around me but also her legs. Then just before I left her in the morning, I kissed her forehead to gauge the seriousness of her fever. I still only found it slightly above normal, but she never once seemed to shiver during the night while being so close to me.
Saturday was a pre-planned girl's day between Bella and Alice, but Bella's mother almost kept Bella home. Alice and I had both arrived at Bella's house around mid-morning and we could hear Bella persuading her mother that she was well enough attend the sleep over with Alice.
"Mom, it's only a cold," emphasized by a sneeze and then her nasally voice continued, "I'm okay, really I am. Besides, Alice says she has a new way she wants to fix my hair. I think she wants to put curls in it."
"Not a permanent, Bella, you know what your father would say about that."
"Yes, I am well aware of his opinion on those. I'll never forget how he yelled when you had one done on your hair." I heard her sneeze again and then blow her nose.
"Are you sure you're going to be okay. You look flushed."
"Mom, I'm fine, and anyway, if I should feel worse, I'll ask Dr. Cullen to look at me. He is my doctor," and she sneezed again. "Besides, it's just a cold, like I said."
"Alright, but I'm sure if your father were here, he would declare you bed ridden."
"Where is he anyway?" Bella coughed this time, then sneezed, and blew her nose.
Her mother was right; she did sound worse than she was letting on. Her cough was congested, and I suspected the cold had begun to settle in her chest. Whether she liked it or not, Carlisle was going to see her before Alice did any make-over work on her.
Alice had skipped ahead of me to ring the door bell, but I was standing right behind her when Mrs. Swan opened the door.
"Good morning, Mrs. Swan," Alice chimed with a huge smile on her face. "Is Bella ready? I have a new outfit I want her to try on, and we have to begin planning her dress for the prom."
Mrs. Swan laughed as she held open the door, "I swear child, I've never seen anyone more clothes conscious than you, and the prom is more than two months away."
"You can never be too prepared," Alice replied as she waltzed gracefully through the door with me almost on her heals.
"No one will ever dampen Alice's joy of dressing everyone up," Bella noted as Alice gave her a hug.
"I'm very sure of that," her mother replied smiling first at Alice and then me. "Edward, if she seems to get worse, please make sure she sees your father. I'm not sure I should let her out with this cold she has, but I also don't want to seem overly protective."
I smiled at her mother as I replied, "I can assure you Mrs. Swan, that I will have Carlisle check her over whether she gets worse or not."
I watched Bella stick out her lip slightly in a pout as she said, "Worry wart," but then she smiled and I knew I hadn't upset her with my comment.
"Thank you," her mother replied to me. "Your father will be home late Tuesday night, so you go and have a good weekend." She embraced Bella as she added, "I will see you sometime Sunday evening."
"Thanks mom," Bella replied as she hugged her mother back.
Then Alice picked up Bella's bag, linked her arm through Bella's, and said, "We'll take good care of her Mrs. Swan, and Esme will make sure she has lots of chicken soup."
"And Carlisle will give her anything else she might need, medically speaking," I added causing Mrs. Swan to laugh.
"I'm sure that Bella couldn't be in safer hands, and please call, Bella, if you need anything." Her comment caused me to realize that she really meant what she said about believing Bella was safe around us, and yet I wonder how she could feel that way if she really knew we were vampires. Then I wondered how she would react if she understood how tempting Bella's blood had been for me only a year ago, or how I had actually stolen into their house to taste Bella's blood while everyone was asleep. Would her mother still think that Bella was safe around my family? And even less safe around me if she knew the truth?
"I will, and thanks again mom," she replied as Alice began to usher her out the door.
As I turned to go, Mrs. Swan laid a hand on my arm and whispered, "Please have your father look at her. I know she is worse than she will admit."
Seeing the concern in her face, I replied in a whisper, "I will. Don't worry." I'm not sure why I added the last, but I did. Usually Bella's mother was the last one to worry about her, but this time I could read the doubt in her face about Bella's reassurances, and since Bella's mother was my biggest supporter, I was not going to let her down.
As soon as we arrived home, Alice whisked Bella up to her room, and I called Carlisle, who was doing extra duty for another doctor who wanted a little time to spend with his family. I explained to him about Bella's cold and about her mother's concerns.
"Is her cough deep or shallow?" He asked.
"Deep with a slight rattling, and she appears slightly flushed," I informed him.
"She's probably running a fever. Did you notice anything else different about her?"
"Besides the cough and flush, I didn't know what else to look for," I told him.
"Remember your medical studies, and some of what I shared about detecting symptoms using your other senses. If she is running a fever, just your hand near her face will let you gauge roughly how much above normal it might be, and with a fever might come an infection which puts off a distinct odor. These are things you can use your senses to discover. I should be home mid-afternoon and then I'll give her a check up, but if you notice anything else, call me."
Carlisle was right; I needed to uses my senses with Bella because she was not going to admit if she was sick. Bella hated being ill and she kept it to herself when she really was sick. I would just have to stay close and monitor her. Carlisle was also right about my medical training; I needed to put it to practice. It was not like I had forgotten what had I learned, but I didn't always put it into practice when it came to Bella.
After I hung up the phone, I walked up to Alice's room while tuning into their conversation.
"Not again Alice; I've tried that dress on five times already. You can't seriously expect me to believe you haven't finished it yet," Bella's voice seemed more nasally than when we picked her up.
"It only needs a few minor alterations, Bella. I want it to be perfect for both of you. Don't you want to be the prettiest girl on the dance floor?" Alice chided.
"Rose and you are attending, right?" She asked.
"We wouldn't miss it," Alice laughed softly.
"Then I don't have any hope of being the prettiest girl at the dance because I'll never reach the standard of beauty set by Rose and you." Bella began coughing then and I noticed the cough's sound had a more pronounced rattle in her chest.
I knocked on the door knowing if I entered without permission Alice was likely to rip off one of my body parts to express the extent of her anger.
"Go away Edward. I'm not done yet, and you cannot see this dress until the night of the prom," Alice retorted.
"I know that Alice, but I'm concerned about Bella's cough. Does she have a fever?" I asked calmly refraining from biting back at her comment.
She must have moved closer or touched Bella because it took a moment before she replied, "Yes, I believe she does. Have you talked to Carlisle?"
"Yes, he said to monitor her condition and call him if it seems to get worse," I informed her.
"I hate it when you two talk about me like I'm not here. Edward, I'm fine. Go read a book or listen to some music, and I'll join you when Madame Dior is finally finished with torturing me."
"Bella . . ."
"Go Edward, I'm fine, and if I'm not, Alice will be the first to call you." Bella's tone was firm and I knew it would not pay to argue with her but I could not help but be concerned as I heard her coughing again as I walked away.
Just to help pass the time and avoid eavesdropping on Alice and Bella, I put in the "William Tell Overture" and made sure the volume was loud enough to drown out audible voices. I must have played the entire record but never really noticed what was playing because I could not take my mind off Bella. I recalled how flushed she looked when we picked her up, the raspy sound I heard as she breathed, and the deep cough that sounded like there might be some fluid in her lungs. It took everything within me not to rush down to Alice's room and whisk Bella over to the hospital to see Carlisle.
What finally pulled me back to awareness was Emmett rushing in the room yelling, "Edward, Alice needs you now."
That was one time when I did not monitor my movements to stay at human speed. Before Emmett could make any other comment, I was opening Alice's door.
"Didn't you hear me Edward? I've been calling for five minutes." Alice was sitting next to Bella who was laid out on Alice's bed.
"What happened?" I first noticed how pale Bella looked, and then heard her labored breathing.
"Said she didn't feel well, and then passed out. I caught her before she hit the floor, but Edward, she is burning up. I didn't notice it until I caught her, and I have already called Carlisle. He should be here any minute. I called you, but you never came. Emmett heard me, so I sent him to get you. What have you been doing?" The amount of concern in her voice was extremely evident, and as she spoke I approached the bed.
Even as she relayed Bella's symptoms, I could both see and feel the evidence of them. Just one touch told me Bella was running a dangerously high fever, and every breath she took verified my suspicions that there was fluid in her lungs.
Before I could do anything else, Carlisle walked through the door with his bag in his hand. With extremely efficiency and calm, he said, "Edward, I think you should leave while I examine Bella. Alice, please stay, I may need your help."
As I turned to leave, Alice laid her hand on my arm saying, "She will be okay. Carlisle is here now."
It wasn't much comfort, but it was all I had. I didn't make it further than the hallway where I just stood and waited. Patience had never been a problem for me before Bella. When you have all the time imaginable, it is easy to wait for things to happen, but Bella brought the factor of time back into my life in a way I never imagine possible. I might have all the time I needed, but Bella's time was limited, and whenever she was injured or sick, that reality slapped me in the face. I knew it was too soon to turn her; age was always an issue – too young and it could turn out poorly. I also had the issue of her father. Turning her now would mean she would have to continue living at home, but waiting until she was eighteen was actually becoming stressful for me.
Had anyone ever told me stress would play a major role in my life, I would have laughed at them. What did a vampire need to stress over unless he was a renegade of some type? Well, I learned the hard way that there are circumstances where even vampires face stress, and mine all revolved around Bella. Of course, my entire existence now revolved around Bella so all my desire, concern, love, jealousy, passion, lust, need, want, and even emotional stress were tied directly to her. I was like a flower whose roots were deeply embedded in Bella soil, and to rip those roots from that fertile ground would not only be excruciatingly painful but also fatal.
The worst part about waiting in the hallway was hearing movement on the other side of the door, but no one spoke. Carlisle's thoughts revolved around readings he took. Bella's temperature was 103.1 degrees – too high I knew, her blood pressure was 100 over 60 – too low, and her pulse was 125 – too rapid. He also noted the wheezing as she breathed and could hear the fluid in her lungs as he listened to her respiration. Alice's thoughts were all about how pale she looked and how shallow and labored her breathing was. She was also chastising herself for not calling Carlisle sooner and requesting him to come home for Bella, but then she remembered how Bella kept say that she was okay and they shouldn't bother Carlisle while he was at work.
I couldn't make myself upset with Alice because I was feeling the same way. I should have monitored how Bella was doing rather than becoming lost in my music and thoughts like I had. I should have demanded that Bella see Carlisle first – I caught myself on that thought and realized how much that thought made me sound like her father. It wasn't that either of us would have been wrong since Bella really was sick, it was just that the thought of forcing her to do something was the wrong way to go about doing anything were Bella was concerned. I won't deny that I'm over protective when it comes to Bella, but fear was a major motivator.
When a vampire finally finds their soul mate, the only person they will ever love for all eternity, that person becomes the only important element in one's existence. I would compare the loss of that beloved to the annihilation of the earth if the sun was to die – all existence would cease utterly.
"Edward," so wrapped up in my thought was I that I missed Carlisle opening the door, "As soon as Alice has finished changing Bella into some night clothes, I want you to carry her up to your room. We need to bring her temperature down, and even though an ice bath is customary, I think you'll do just as well. You'll have to remove your shirt and pants, and Alice has a pair of pajama bottoms for you," Carlisle must have noticed a look on my face because he added, "Don't ask because you really don't want to know, but once you have them on, then you are to lay down next to Bella as close as possible. Your coldness should help bring her fever down some. I'm going downstairs to call her mother."
"Carlisle, what is wrong?" It seemed the one thing he wasn't thinking about. He was more concerned at that moment what he was going to tell Bella's mother.
"She has bronchitis and if we are not careful, it will turn into pneumonia. How did she get sick so fast?" It was possibly the last question I expected from him since he was the medical professional. "Normally it takes a week or so for it to advance to this point. When did she first begin coughing?"
"Thursday, she walked home in the icy rain because she missed the bus. Her mother kept her home yesterday, so I didn't see her until last night. She was coughing and sneezing some, but she hadn't sounded this bad." It had been a long day and even longer night before I had returned to Bella's side, but Bella had encouraged me to go on this hunting trip and said I needed to replenish my nutrients. She also laughed as she said I needed to spend some quality time with my siblings since I had been ignoring them lately. Even Emmett laughed when I had relayed her comments to them while we had been hunting.
"She shouldn't have gotten so sick this quickly," he muttered as he walked off, and before I could stop to ask more questions, Alice opened the bedroom door.
"She's ready Edward, and these are for you. I don't want them back," and she thrust out a pair of pajama pants with little heart designs on them. "Come on, you need to move her quickly and begin to bring her temperature down."
I followed Alice into the room but stopped just inside the door as I caught sight of Bella. I had never seen her dress in so little ever before. Bella always wore long nightgowns at night, and during the day she was always dressed properly, but this, well it seemed rather indecent.
"What?" Alice asked as she noticed me standing and staring at Bella.
"Shouldn't you put something less revealing on her?" I asked as my eyes selfishly raked up and down her gorgeous but scantily clad body.
"Why, you don't like what you see?" Alice chuckled.
"Alice, she's almost naked," I retorted in shock at her comment.
"Edward, what she is wearing is actually considered proper for sleeping in. It's called baby-doll pajamas and most teenage girls are wearing them. I realize Bella wears less revealing gowns when she is around you, but this is very acceptable sleepwear. Besides, Carlisle wanted as much skin exposed as decently possible because your skin needs to touch hers to help draw the fever out of her body. If you're uncomfortable with the idea of lying next to her like that, I think I can get Emmett to agree to lay in bed with her. It wouldn't be the first time that he helped bring her fever down."
"No," I growled quickly. Emmett was not allowed that close to my fiancée dressed, or undressed as she was. My growl only caused Alice to chuckle again, and instead of waiting for any more comments from her, I walked over, lifted Bella gently from the bed, and swiftly moved her to my room. I gently laid her on my bed and then made a hasty retreat to the bathroom to change my clothes.
As I changed, my mind wandered back to Bella. Her arms were completely bare and her legs were mostly bare. I had felt almost that much of her legs once but I had never seen that much bare skin before. Even the little top only covered to her hips. What was Alice thinking to put her in something so revealing and requiring me to lay with her? My mind was reeling at the implication, not to mention how my body seemed to be reacting to what I had seen.
"Edward, get a grip, Bella is sick and she needs you," I heard Alice through the door, but the fact that she knew what I was thinking was slightly unnerving. "Come out here," she ordered.
For someone so small, she had a commanding voice, and without hesitating, I obeyed.
"Look, because her fever is so high, you need as much close contact with her as possible. Carlisle says you need to help bring the fever down quickly. At the same time, you are going to need to get her to drink as much fluid as possible so she doesn't run the risk of dehydrating. Emmett is on his way up with a glass of something. Now focus on what Bella needs."
She had issued her orders, and I realized, somewhat shamefully, that she was correct. Bella came first, so I walked over to the bed, pulled the covers down, slip Bella under them but only covered her with a sheet before lying down next to her, and then I pulled the rest of the covers over both of us.
"This looks cozy," Emmett chuckled moments later as he walked into the room.
I only growled softly in response.
"Now, now Edward, be nice. I brought Bella a tall glass of Kool-Aid," he reprimanded.
"Well, take it back and bring her a glass of apple juice," I retorted.
"No, she likes cherry Kool-Aid better," he replied walking toward the bed.
"I said apple juice, Emmett. It's what she always gets in the morning for breakfast."
"That's breakfast, but the rest of the time she drinks Kool-Aid. I would think you would know your fiancée better by know."
"I do, and she prefers apple juice." Since I couldn't bite him any other way, I used my tone of voice to bite him.
He only chuckled and challenged, "Wanna bet?"
My response was a deep growl; he was definitely trying my patience.
"Afraid I'll prove I know Bella better than you do?" He taunted, and I was stupid enough that I took the bait.
"Okay, go get the glass of apple juice and I'll prove I'm right," I snapped.
It took Emmett less time to get the second glass than it did for me to set Bella slightly up in the bed resting her against me, but enough time for me to wonder if he could be correct.
"Here," he held out both glasses after I had Bella comfortably positioned, "See which she will like better."
I smiled smugly as I took the glass with the apple juice and held it to Bella's mouth. "Bella, honey, please drink this," I coaxed softly. She began to take a little sip and then simply pushed the glass away.
Emmett held out the other to me, but before I could take he said, "If I win, I get to take Bella for one day and entertain her in any way that pleases her."
I didn't like that option, so I stipulated, "But it cannot include anything that is dangerous."
"Define dangerous," he said.
"Anything that might be harmful to her," I clarified.
"Edward, everything is potentially harmful to her, but what is life without risks."
He did have a point; even an innocent day in the park could result in cuts, scraps, bruise, and bumps where Bella was concerned. "Okay, nothing death-defying," I replied.
"What do you classify as death-defying?" He asked.
"Sky diving," I blurted out. I wasn't even sure where that thought came from, but once uttered, I couldn't retract it.
"Edward, hundreds of people sky-dive every day and nothing fatal happens to them. Why would Bella be any different?"
Where Bella was concerned, my thought process did not always follow logical or normal patterns, which was evident that day when I blurted out, "Her parachute wouldn't open," which caused Emmett to laugh heartily.
"Edward, I'd be with her and if that happened, I'd just make sure I was near enough to grab her and then my parachute would float us both safely down to the ground."
"Yours would fail to open also," I was illogically seizing upon nonexistent explanations to prove my point but I knew I was failing miserably.
"If it makes you happy, Edward, I'll promise not to take her sky-diving. Beside, Bella once told me the idea scared her and even flying in a plane makes her nauseous when she thinks about it," he silently laughed at me as he spoke. "Now, before you say anything else, remember this is about Bella not about you."
He was right, he seemed to understand that I was thinking about my desires of protection rather than Bella's desires to be allowed to makeup her own mind, so instead of saying anything else, I snatched the glass from his hand and held it to Bella's lips. "Please, Bella, drink this."
This time, her sip turned into gulps as she began to drink. I had to tip the glass to her lips a few times before she finished the glass, but when she was done, she whispered softly, "That was delicious. More please."
Emmett only chuckled as he said, "I'll bring the pitcher up," and then he left the room.
I realized it had been stupid to agree to the bet, but I never reneged on a bet in my life, and I wasn't about to this time even though I dreaded what the two of them would do with an entire afternoon to themselves. Maybe Rose would help me stop them from spending that much time together; at least, I decided, it wouldn't hurt to ask her.
"Edward," Emmett said as he rushed through the door with the glass of Kool-Aide, "Bella's mother is here to see her."
I could hear her coming up the steps, and my first thought was I couldn't allow her to see me in bed with Bella, but as I tried to pull away from Bella, her arms wrapped tightly around me.
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