It's fall! The story is going well. I'll post more details about the writing at the end of the chapter. This one is a luffly length of 42 pages. I've been doing a LOT of editing and re-editing trying to get all the scenes where I want them. This chapter shall be dedicated to SHADOWoftheFOX, dragonlady222 and Bakurafangurl91. Lyrics placed throughout it are as follows: "Let Me Die" by The Classic Crime, "Kill the Light" by Lacuna Coil, and lyrics put together from two translated songs ("Mi-e dor de noi" and "Două anotimpuri") by DJ Project.
My choice for the set up of which stories to follow changed a bit for this chapter, but I'm happy with how it turned out. Main focus this chapter (but not exclusively) is Yami.
Chapter 43: Nature of the Hero
I fight against what lies beneath
It's just my will against the sea.
I've never been one to give in.
Of all the virtues I have lacked,
The need to fight has been my anchor.
I could never ask for you to save me.
No, your will could never calm the seas I'm braving.
(Yami's POV)
The sound of the waves is one giant heartbeat echoing all around. The lights were left off, a blue glow coming from behind the glass. Shadows fly by like little spirits, entrancing me, urging me to follow. Larger shapes move in unison like broken up storm clouds all mingling in the same wind current. I didn't think I would feel so calm here. Quite the opposite. I came to tackle a fear, to try and tip the balance of depression that has kept me within its clutches.
The janitors are elsewhere in the massive building, leaving us full access to the main exhibits. We can explore this captivating, rather eerie world they created. I stare at the flitting figures as they follow my hand as I move it in front of me, raising it above my head. They trail after; possibly emboldened by the dark. Here and there I will catch glimpses of their beauty, flashes of bright colors as they move in and out of the dim light shining somewhere above the tanks on their side.
My shoes tap on the marble-looking floor, echoing in the expansive space that only we two occupy. Speaking of which, I come out of my trance that I have been wandering for an unknown amount of time. Looking about me, water reaching beyond the visible ceiling on either side of me, I realize I am alone. Having looked at the map on the wall in the grand lobby, I know that it ends up taking me full-circle. I keep going, almost back to the main gallery of the aquarium. It gets even darker. Pitch black. Or not quite. The ghostly figures of jellyfish glow unearthly greens and yellows under a black light. My feet stop and I stare, something in me quivering. They are haunting and breathtaking all at once. If I saw then in the wild, I'd mistake them for plastic bags. How can something that seems only on the verge of being alive be so deadly?
Releasing a noiseless breath, I move on through the dark passage. Reaching its end, I find myself about to enter a tunnel. This is different from the hallways with water on either side. There is glass for the floor and the rounded ceiling of the tunnel as well. My feet plant themselves to the threshold between the clearly visible floor that I have been walking on and the sudden leap into the ocean itself. All of the fears reawaken, my palms perspiring as I stare into a realm that to me is more frightening than that of the Shadows.
Locating Otogi all at once becomes top priority. Spinning on my heels, I turn 180 degrees and march back the way I came. While the steady beat of the waves, possibly automated to a give a fuller experience to the visitors, remains steady, my heartbeat has quickened. I can almost taste the muddy water in my mouth, lungs burning as they fill with fluid.
'Calm down,' I demand of myself, quickening my pace as I pass through the cave-like area with the glowing ghosts. 'You are not underwater.' The clear patter of my shoes cannot soothe me even as it reminds me that I am not at the bottom of the river. Rather, the sound further heightens my awareness of how alone I am.
Sea creatures dance and fly behind the –hopefully—thick glass, their movements mirrored by the shadows on the polished floor. I don't know why, but it makes me reminisce of the ka temples; a vast building containing so many life forces within it. I can feel the energy even without any magic. Would anyone understand if I tried to explain the sensation? Who can I possible relate any of my experiences to? I was a human, then a god, and then an immortal. Having gone full circle, I am human again—for now. It just doesn't feel certain anymore. Existing for thousands of years, yet I am still a teenager by the world's standards. I don't know if I feel like an adolescent or not. I don't know what it is supposed to feel like. Hell, I didn't back in Egypt either.
Entering the viewing area of the lower half of the tank for the beluga whales, I exhale in relief and exasperation that I had to go looking for him. There are three rows of large steps in the basic style of in the ancient amp theaters to be used as seating. Stairs travel up either side of them. These are facing a wall of glass with the white creatures swimming beyond. What they were expecting here, I am not sure; for someone to sit for hours watching a marine mammal swim in bored circles? The real seating and spectacles are a floor above us where the animals put on shows.
Otogi doesn't seem to have gotten the memo for any of this. He is lying stretched out on his back on the second row. The dice master has removed his red vest and folded it underneath his head as a makeshift pillow. He doesn't spare the white bodies a glance as they float by, seeming lost in thought or in a drunken haze as he stares at the undecorated ceiling.
"I was wondering where you had gone," I say, not wanting him to know it bothered me to be by myself once I'd reached that tunnel.
"You were captivated with all the slimy animals. How long before you even noticed I was absent?" he asks with a hint of wryness.
"Only just," I admit. "I mean, I know you weren't right beside me. I just hadn't realized you had laid down for a nap."
"Hardly a spot for a nap," he scoffs. "This place reeks of fish."
An awkward silence follows where he goes over what he just said and I muse as to whether or not I should say anything. I opt for getting a dig in, as he is usually the one with the upper hand.
"Well, it is an aquarium."
His lips quirk.
"As in whale food. Dead fish. You know what I meant." I nod as I climb up the smaller steps and sink down on the long concrete seat beside him. It's cool and causes a shiver to creep through my spine. "And this is hardly a nap."
"You look fairly comfy."
"You're joking," the teen says, wrinkling his nose. "Look at this! No padding. With all the funding they get you'd think they could invest in some nice cushions. It's not like we're going to get wet. Oh, my vest? I wasn't going to put my head where hundreds have people's asses have been."
I roll my eyes but secretly have to agree with him. We both are very dedicated to our hair. I am not used to getting to hang out with someone who is as committed to their appearance. Not even Anzu. Otogi keeps himself impeccable and forward in style and fashion; which once again begs the question in regards to the dice master's proclamations to being straight. Not that straight males can't be fashionable, it's just Otogi has a certain…I don't even want to try to finish that thought.
"But you have no problem kneeling in the gutters puking."
"Hey, I vomit into the gutters. I don't kneel in them! Do you have any idea what kind of shit ends up in there?"
I smile at the complaint, wondering if he sees how ridiculous his argument is. Probably not. Ah, another glimpse of the world through Otogi's eyes.
"I have a few ideas."
The belugas are contentedly floating along the top of the water so their bellies are visible to us. I observe the large bodies in awe and fascination, never having been so close to anything like them. While they do not live in the Nile, we had animals larger than them. I never saw any of them though. Couldn't put the prince in unnecessary danger. And once I was pharaoh, it became irrelevant that I had not seen them.
"So, why the aquarium?"
"Huh?" I didn't fully hear him but am glad for the distraction.
"Why'd you pick the aquarium out of anywhere we could have gone?" I can tell by the tone of his voice that he is genuinely curious. The dice master had been quite disappointed when I had first announced our destination. Of course he would be: there's no booze to be had here.
'Why not the aquarium?' would be a better question. How can he be indifferent to this place? It's amazing. I'd been wandering in a daze, completely mesmerized by a recreation of a world we were never supposed to be see.
"I had never been," I say instead, casually leaning back into the uncomfortable stone, already feeling the penetrating eyes upon me.
"And?"
He knows there is more to it. How can he always know? How is it I can conceal so much from my friends but not Otogi? Have I gotten so used to opening up to him? No, he was like this before and it always irritated me beyond belief. Shouldn't it make me happy though? For so much of my life I was isolated from everyone else, wanted to be close to other people, to have them understand me. There is a fine line between understanding me and being able to read me like a book.
"And…"
Images flash before my eyes. An ethereal pale body gliding through clear waters of my bath. Of awakening in pain after nearly getting myself killed, two rubies boring into me. My lungs had burned. How could water so cold burn me from the inside?
"Back then, in Egypt," I clarify though it is unneeded, "I was…I almost drowned. Ever since then I…well, I've never been much for water. Hells, I nearly drowned again earlier this summer…"
"So some things do repeat from one life to the next," the dice master muses and I chuckle. "Why now? Why water? And if the water, then why not, say, the ocean?"
"Are you kidding? With my track record, this is much safer than the beach. Plus I had no guarantee that you would pull me out if need be," I add sending him an accusing look to which he offers a catlike smirk. "Plus how many people get the opportunity to come here at night when no one else is around?"
"Plenty of people could. You can again if you dip into those deep pockets of yours and throw them a decent contribution. You can start by buying them some cushions for this thing."
"So you can get anything you want if you pay the right price?" I ask, disappointed. That hard fact takes some of the magic of this visit away. I'm not sure why, seeing as how we got in due to his connections to Kaiba Corp. What was I expecting their reason to be? The teen hears the disgust in my voice and smiles.
"That's a rule that was around even back in your day, I'd wager. Not everything has changed, Yami. Don't try to tell me that being pharaoh didn't have any perks."
"Touché," I surrender, tipping my head back to see what would provoke him to stare at the unremarkable ceiling when there are magnificent aquatic beasts before us.
It catches me off guard, the blue reflections of the water rippling on the plain surface. It almost glows due to the lights coming from some unseen source above the whale tank. It's how I imagined it would be to sink to the bottom of the river and look up on a moonlit night, minus the fear and lack of air. The bright cerulean moves ceaselessly, watercolors trying to create a painting but unable to sink into the canvas. The colors remind me of the temple of Khonsu, moonlight striking the precious stones embedded within the god's image just right. I wonder if Otogi even notices any of this. He very well could be staring off into oblivion thanks to those drinks he had before finding me.
"So swim class wasn't part of a pharaoh's curriculum?"
"Why does that surprise everyone?" I mutter, remembering how Yugi and Mr. Mutou had been so shocked when I fell in that stupid pond and sank.
Otogi shifts in a way that suggests a shrug of his shoulders. His ebony hair fans out from his pony tail around his head. I'm seated by his feet, able to view his face at ease. He wears an easy expression, no tension in his features.
"Not surprised, per se. Just never really thought about it. There's a difference."
"If you say so."
"Which I just did."
"All right then," I concede with a grumble and he snickers. It takes too much energy to stretch out these trivial tiffs with him.
"Well what exactly are we supposed to think? It's not like you guys give us much to go on. Pretty much leave it up to our imaginations. We fill in the blanks with presumptions because we've got nothing else and then you get all pissy. What were you expecting? Know why your friends all paint such a dreary picture of ancient Egypt? You yamis make it sound like everything sucked back then."
I open my mouth to protest before I let it really sink in. Yugi, Anzu, Ryou, Jou…none of them have heard any of my good memories. Of the tricks Mahaado and I would play on members of the royal court as children. Of my fatherly advisor that so resembled Mr. Mutou. Of…
"I see their faces—the reincarnations of my friends and enemies both," I murmur, threading my fingers together loosely in front of my knees. "While three thousand years passed for Bakura and Malik, for me…it has only been four years. And even less time since I remembered anything. So really, it has been one year since I watched my friends get cut down one by one. Watched the city, my city that I swore to protect, burn. Since Bakura…" I hate this feeling, this rancid taste in my mouth whenever I speak his name. "I cannot talk about all of that, let alone the good times."
"Well maybe it's time to shift your focus. One of you three needs to break the chain."
"Therefore it must be me, right?" I snap, looking sharply at the placid teen. "Because I fucked up Malik's psyche so badly with that spell that he couldn't look on the bright side if he tried and my bringing Bakura here has reduced him to a suicidal junkie?"
Again I can feel those intense eyes. There were bright red eyes that used to make me smolder. No one could see me like they could. This is different. These ones dissect me.
"I didn't say it had to be you," the dice master drawls, unaffected by my shift in mood. "You're just the only one of the yamis I'd carry on a civilized conversation with. Besides, it sounds to me like you're tired of playing born leader and noble hero. In other news: Stop taking full credit for those two's problems."
"They're here because of me. While they may have instigated fights back then, I could have killed them outright and been done with it all."
The black haired teen groans.
"You really need to get a life, Yami."
Get a…? This little shit! What does he think I've been doing this whole time? Trying to put everything back together!
"I don't know if you noticed, but ever since I awakened in these times, even before I knew who I was…"
"You're doing it again," he cuts in, voice bland as he stretches his arms out behind his head.
"What?"
He angles his neck so his head is raised enough that we are facing each other. I glare at him, frustrated with his nitpicking and interruptions that come out of thin air. He's like a sliver that burrows under your thumbnail that hurts like hell but you can't quite reach. Makes you just want to rip the entire nail off even though that will end up hurting even more.
"Wallowing. Do you know how many sentences that come out of your mouth start with 'since I awoke in these times' or 'because of what happened back then'?" He scowls at me when I am too angry and tongue-tied to work up an immediate response. "Nothing is going to change until you let that shit go. Malik's off in Egypt fucking a near-mirror image of himself. And for all of his issues, Bakura has made some progress."
I blanch at that absurd statement. Now he's just trying to rile me up.
"You mean the heroin-addicted, Shadow-summoning, suicidal ex-tomb robber? I'm going to school and have a group of friends while he is busy killing people whenever he has a panic attack! Tell me exactly where you see progress."
"From what I've heard and seen, he's trying to have a relationship with Katsuya. He's trying to lay off the drugs and has been succeeding as of late. That takes some serious trust in somebody. I'm not for being all mushy, but he has that in Katsuya. You that close to anybody?" Otogi raises his eyebrows at my dubious stare. "What? I didn't say he'd be able to pull it off on his own. In fact, I very much doubt he'll make it."
A cold wave washes over me, encompasses my entire body. Was it the statement itself or the casual way it was stated? It also begs the question of what I want the outcome to be for Bakura and Jounouchi. This wasn't how any of it was supposed to go. Despite his violent attempts, things might have turned out differently once I regained my memories. There was still a chance. A small chance, maybe, but a chance. I set it all in motion when I turned my back on him on the blimp.
"What makes you say that?"
He said it before, that he senses it's going to go one of two ways: Bakura going on a killing spree or killing himself. The teen's face has become serious, green eyes honing in on me, gauging my reaction to what he tells me. He's told us a packet of lies, but when alone like this, we two have spoken the truth to one another. When he doesn't want me to know something, he simply evades. Not this time. He holds his gaze steady.
"Otogi." My voice drops, an edge forming to my words. "Tell me. Now."
Instead of outright answering, he tilts his head to the side, sizing me up. If only I was wearing the puzzle. Not to say I would ever use it on him. He's just a bit more compliant when there's a Millennium Item present. I know I am the yami of whom he has the least qualms. He knows I would not stoop so low as to use Shadow magic to get my point across…however tempting it may be at times.
"Katsuya thinks Bakura is on his way to doing something drastic."
"Drastic?" I repeat, straightening up, a million possible plots the thief could be hatching whirling through my mind.
"To himself. Though I was thinking along the same lines as you were just now judging by the panic all over your face," Otogi says with a mirthless smile, rising up into sitting position and stretching his arms over his head. "I'm not supposed to be telling anybody, but it's probably better than having you waltz in to find Bakura hanging from the banister."
The thought makes me sick. And the reason it makes me sick horrifies me. It wouldn't be Bakura's death itself. If it were just a body left, that would somehow make it more the Bakura I loved and adored. He would no longer be this enemy, this person I despise. He would be mine again, hanging there cold with wide dead eyes. It was bad enough when I sealed him away. I can't stand the image the dice master has placed before me.
"It won't come to that. Not with Ryou and Jounouchi there to look after him."
"Did you not just hear me say that it was Katsuya who mentioned this? The kid's terrified and here I kept dropping not-so-subtle hints for you to warn him about Kaiba. Jesus, what more did you need, Yami? Me to write big cue cards for you?"
"You never outright said what the two of you were scheming!"
"So you were just going to sit back and wait?" he retorts, somehow offended by my lack of action. "I gave you more than enough reasons to caution him. Yet the only one who seems to get the picture is Bakura…though he did cheat in his methods…"
"Oh shut up!" I snap, wondering if this time I might actually punch him. There's a first for everything. "You could have stopped this. Hells, you could have kept anything from happening!"
"Why would I?" the teen responds blandly. "It's not my bunch of friends. I don't have any loyalty to you guys. Katsuya does hold a few cards, what with his sis…"
"How can you be this way?" I shout, jumping to my feet, voice bounding off the walls. "You have zero morals and no respect for anyone! Does nothing matter to you aside from money and fame? Is nothing sacred? These are lives that you are toying with, Otogi. This isn't a duel or a game!"
We're all in a game, silly Pharaoh.
"No!" I say when he opens his mouth, shoving my hand against his chest to prevent him from standing. "No more. I am not putting up with your antics. Stay away from my friends. Stay away from the thief as well. While you might get a kick out of his suicide, it would kill Jounouchi. Despite your enthusiasm to hurt him, Bakura is human now. So just back off." Giving him another push, I lean over the teen and ask: "Do I make myself clear?"
Glaring at me, he shoves my hand away with a strength I didn't know he possessed, sending me off balance. Otogi takes the moment I am recovering to rise to his feet, snatching up his vest in a violent motion. I am blocking him from the stairs on this side. It would be easy enough for him to turn and go down the set at the other end of the row. He doesn't try to flee and he doesn't back down.
"First off, I rarely take orders and especially not from you. Secondly, if Katsuya doesn't want me around anymore, then that is between him and me. He is a big boy. He can handle talking back to me."
"Only if he has a reason to!" I snap, regretting more and more my indecision to warn Jounouchi of the conspiracy between Otogi and Kaiba. "He has no idea what you are capable of!"
"Actually, he does."
My mouth clamps shut as I ponder the meaning behind this ominous statement. The teen, who is always cocky and cool, is livid. He is staring at me with a look that could kill. I haven't seen a look so lethal since Malik during Battle City. The fact that I am comparing Otogi to Malik causes my guard to go up, though I have no idea what to expect.
"And what is that supposed to mean?" My heart skips a beat. "You didn't…!"
"He knows. I let him in on it. Things were going downhill fast and you weren't talking." Otogi smiles tightly at my shock. "Got about the reaction you'd expect."
I'm floored. Seriously, what is this? Otogi went against Kaiba to save Jou's neck? Why? For Shizuka's approval? That would be complicated since Otogi was involved. It would have to be something else. I narrow my eyes, daring to take a step closer.
"What are you up to now?" I rumble.
"Excuse me?"
"Do not make me repeat myself, Otogi. I want to know what's in it for you. Whatever convinced you, it certainly wasn't how any of this would hurt Jou or Bakura's state of mind. Or was that it? You didn't want Jou to earn the public's sympathy card after his boyfriend kills himself?"
"You think I'm that much of a bastard?" His voice is quiet but emboldened by my low expectations of him. "My whole plan is fucked up. All plans involving Kaiba Corp. are fucked up!" Stepping closer, he shoves a finger in my face as if he were planning on sending it straight through my eye socket like a red hot poker. "I may not be the most upstanding person, Yami, but even I know where to draw the line. Sure, people are supposed to get hurt. People always get hurt. It's business. If you're not aggressive you won't get anywhere in this world. But I refuse to be responsible for pushing somebody that far. And you should have fucking known that!"
I gape open-mouthed, dumbfounded and speechless as the finger trembles between my eyes. Otogi straightens, arm lowering as his rage simmers. He doesn't look any less angry with me, just getting back in control of his temper. Everything he's said, his strange behavior, all of it is making more sense. I myself am ashamed at once for automatically making such assumptions about the dice master. That was the type of remark Yugi or Anzu would make, abhorring him through and through. But I've gotten to know him well enough that I should have figured that out on my own.
"You guys may hate me and I may be willing to go to greater lengths to reach my goals than most, but I'm not a fucking monster."
I open and close my mouth, trying to find my voice and grasp some coherent sentence. He doesn't give me the chance; doesn't bother with the stairs. Otogi moves swiftly from one bench to the next like bleachers in a stadium. It isn't one of his games. I take one step after him but stop from following. Nothing I say will be good enough right now. No apology will do. He's admitted to making some awful assumptions about me and the other yamis. But nothing compared to what I have just done. What I said to him—it was uncalled for. Some part of me didn't quite believe he would go so far, yet I regret to say I was surprised when he flat-out told me off. Not knowing whether he left me here, I figure should best get moving in case I need to find my own mode of transportation to get home. My phone's weight in my pocket is all at once noticeable. I shake off the part of me that wants to call my hikari. After how I brushed Yugi off, it is wrong to ask for his assistance. I need to work out some things for myself. That includes getting home.
My footsteps are even more pronounced than before, giving the illusion I am the only one left in this building filled with living spirits. The janitors were smart and steered clear when the shouting started. I can only imagine…or can I? I squint as I quickly pass through the glowing jellyfish in their dark world. What exactly was I expecting from Otogi? All of this time when he was dropping hints of the scheme I sat and did nothing but berate him. Why? I would very much like to say because I knew he wouldn't go through with anything horrible. That would be a lie. Well, I had hoped he wouldn't. A small voice in my head wonders for whose sake and it wouldn't have been for Jou or Bakura. I refuse to delve any deeper into that.
My feet halt automatically at the threshold between the distinct floor and oblivion. I barely register any of this, gazing instead at the lone figure standing within the seemingly invisible tunnel. Otogi's head is tilted back as he looks around. My heart leaps as a very large, dark figure passes ominously close to his head. It's too eerie resemblance to him standing in some portion of the Realm, shadows circling around waiting to devour him. I try tapping into the puzzle to ward them off, glancing down in surprise as I recall I am powerless here.
"You weren't kidding about the water thing, were you?" The teen's voice is contained, amplified but not echoing by the giant tube he's standing in.
I look about nervously, waiting for one of the sharks to drive through the invisible barrier. Otogi is unconcerned, turning to follow the movements of one particularly large predatory fish.
"It's much brighter during normal hours," he comments offhandedly, thumbs tucking through his belt loops as he stands alone about halfway through the tunnel; a good fifteen to twenty feet from me.
"You've been here during the day?" I prompt, surprised he would come here, let alone mingle with the crowds.
"Before falling under the lure of all the 'money and fame', sure."
I wince as he repeats my judgmental words. While he's an egotist, it was wrong of me to go there. Despite our spending so much time in each other's company lately, I don't know him. Hindsight can be such a bitch.
"You coming through here or are you going to circle all the way back through the building?" he ask in his nonchalant manner, still not looking at me. " 'Cause I have to say I really don't feel like wasting half an hour waiting for you all because you're scared of some fish."
"I'm not scared of-!"
This is too familiar. I will suddenly do anything to stop talking. Gulping, I take a step out into the brink of nothingness, taking care to keep my eyes on Otogi and not our surroundings or the fact that there is no visible floor in this light and oh Ra I looked—
"Yami? You still with me?"
He peers at me from the abyss into which he willingly stepped. It's waiting for me to swallow me up after two failed opportunities. I stopped breathing both times but awake very much me. Once I was alone; the other, not. So how is it I really different this time around? What's to stop my drowning this time?
I gasp as something warm curls around my wrist, only now comprehending that Otogi has come back and taken hold. Full blown panic kicks in when he smirks. Before I can stop him, he yanks hard, pulling me deeper into the hellish tunnel. Unable to break free, I do the only thing that seems sensible: I shriek and sink to my knees; and I admit it happened only because he is here as a witness. Though if he ever tells I will vehemently deny it. Not letting go, the dice master looks down at my quaking form, raising his eyebrows when I look up at him.
"Seriously?"
My teeth are clenched to keep them from chattering or I'd be shouting all the obscenities in Japanese, ancient Egyptian, and English that I know. I settle for a I'm-going-to-make-you-pay-sooo-dearly-later glare. He chuckles, tugging on my arm insistently, not known for his compassion. Then again, I think it would be even more mortifying if I were with someone who was doting over me and cooing, telling me to take my time and that I'm safe and sound with them. I would have died of shame before the water had a chance to break through the walls.
Otogi heaves an aggravated sigh.
"All right. It was amusing the first three seconds. Now it's old. So get on up. Come on."
His grip was not gentle to begin with. At this point he is determined to get me through the tunnel regardless of the means by which he does so; even if it means dragging me while cutting off my circulation. I latch onto his ankle with my free hand, preventing his leg from moving any further. This earns me a pissed off look.
"You don't want to be in here and now you've made it so we're immobile? Brilliant Yami. And now what do you propose we do?"
"Just give me a minute," I manage from between my teeth, breath hissing as I try to regain my composure.
"A minute. Sure."
I close my eyes to give myself a moment of blissful unawareness but instead am presented with my mind's worst case scenarios of how we are going to meet our end in here. Lots of water and sharp teeth. Okay, keep your eyes open until we're out.
"How are you so calm?" I rasp, needing a distraction from my horrible imagination. "Do you know how to swim or something?"
"Yeah. I know how to swim," he says, not loosening his grip in case I decide to bolt back the way we came, which is much closer than how far we have to go. "But that wouldn't do me any good if this thing were to implode. We'd either drown or get eaten by sharks." Green eyes dart about. "Or maybe both."
"Not helping," I groan, instinctively tightening my grip on his leg.
"Sorry," he says, sounding amused rather than apologetic. "So…back to holding on to issues…"
"Hey, I nearly drowned this summer too!"
"Right. That must've hurt your hero ego."
"My what?"
He tries to move his leg, scowling at me when I don't let him budge and inch.
"Your hero ego. You have to always be the hero and save everybody. I can only imagine what must have happened the few times you needed somebody else to save you. Is that another reason you're putting distance between yourself and your buddies?" he asks offhandedly.
He reads minds sometimes, I swear.
"So it's…" I suppress a shiver as large shapes glide past the 'wall' nearest to me. "So what if I'm trying to regain my independence?"
"Independence? Since when were you ever independent?"
Every now and then I really hate him.
"Okay. So I've never been independent! Wouldn't we all have been better off if I had not figured anything out? I would still be Yugi's guardian, protecting him and our friends from harm. I would have a real purpose still. I've never had to choose a purpose. It was always preordained by something bigger than me. I was a prince that had to do whatever my father and advisors said. Then I was a pharaoh that had a sworn duty to lead my people. Then I was a nameless spirit and guardian of Yugi…"
"I know the story. You might not have chosen to become those things, but at any time you could have made the choice not to be them any longer," the dice master grumbles, wrenching my arm again for good measure. I wince.
"No I didn't! I was born into the royal family! I knew nothing about the real world! What options did I have?"
He shrugs. "You could have up and high-tailed it out of there."
I gape. Does he understand nothing? The responsibilities I had? How completely naïve I was of everything? Obviously not.
"Otogi, then what would have happened to the kingdom? To my people? If I had left…"
"Same thing as if you'd turned on Yugi like Bakura did to Ryou. I didn't say you had good choices. I just said you had choices. You always have options. Sometimes they're shitty, but you have them."
That shuts me up. It is almost too unbelievable to comprehend. I am always shouldering the responsibility but forcing the majority of the blame of the past onto Bakura. The thing is, I could have reacted differently to his attacks. I was always aware of that. There were other ways of dealing with the problem. It was not an option because I chose that it would never be. It's very different from my former lover's outlook on life: That we are all tied in and stuck because of Fate. His options back then were even worse than mine and even more limited. It comes as no surprise he believed he had no control.
Then the power got to his head.
"Are you quite done daydreaming yet?" Otogi asks, sweat having formed between his hand and my wrist from the amount of time that's passed since he dragged me in here. "Geez, it really would have been faster to have you go back around the other way."
"You still could let me," I put in hopefully, readjusting my hold around the leather-cladded ankle.
He cocks his head and considers it for a moment. Another shark swims by and I am glad that I'm the one further away from it here on the 'floor', if one can even call it that. Who knows, Otogi could surprise me again with another act of mercy. He looks down at me, lips quirking upwards as he twirls his finger inside that loose strand of hair.
"Nah. Now that we've gotten this far, I'm feeling rather hell bent on winning."
I can't stand the light
Of the day outside
Feeling so cold inside your shadow
Now or never
Can you feel this loss?
Please let these memories just fade
Time will heal the rain
But sometimes it hurts.
I want to shine outside your halo.
(Bakura's POV)
The gust doesn't just knock me off my feet. I'm propelled through the air, ears ringing at the singing of Shadow Magic. My body stops less than the length of my thumb from the wall surrounding the courtyard. Blinding purple fire engulfs me, much more powerful than anything I ever experienced before, holding me in place. I know this signature. A growl rises in my throat when I tap into the magic entrapping me, applying what Seini has been teaching me. It has the opposite effect of helping me. It grows. The roar of the flames in my ears keeps me from being able to locate him, though the reverberations of his voice reach me. Seini replies loudly, the two of them seeming to argue. The intensity increases, suffocating me in this overwhelming pressure looming in from all sides as if I have sunken very deep underwater.
Diabound…attack…
"Bakura."
Someone's shaking me by the shoulder. It seems like I only blinked but as I open my eyes I'm not longer engulfed in violet flames but lying on my side on the ground in a stupor. A battered Seini is leaning over me, warm hand resting on my shoulder as he tries to rouse me. I close my eyes again, swallowing deeply as I search for the presence of my ka. It returned to my body. I blacked out before I could stop them. I become immersed in cold fear at the realization I failed. That bastard saw to ruining everything!
"We need to get him out of sight immediately," Seini is saying urgently as my eyes shoot open and I hone in on the damned priest standing above us like a condemnatory god.
"He caused the ruckus. The only reason we're in this situation in the first place…!"
"Priest Mahaado, it is Pharaoh's will. You know this."
I glare up at the silhouette I've memorized, dreamed of sneaking up on and stabbing in the dark; perhaps beheading as well for good measure. The Millennium ring shines bright, daring me to try anything more. Gritting my teeth, I urge myself to get up and beat the shit out of him, Millennium Item or no, broken wrist or not. My muscles are turned to liquid, not responding to my determination, following Mahaado's instead. There is a tense silence as the two of them have a inaudible battle of resolves. Seini has pulled out the big weapons, uttering the phrase that will forever be Mahaado's downfall: Pharaoh's will.
Hatred fills me, powering my ka even though I haven't the strength to summon it for the moment. It adds insult to injury that the only reason Mahaado stopped was because Atem commands my safety from him. He did not cease because of anything on my part. I couldn't overpower whatever the hells that was he threw at me. I didn't see a ka, didn't see much of anything. It happened too fast. My attention was on obliterating those guards before they could get away with Seth and tell everyone about me. Whatever that was, it wasn't just the Item. Something else was involved. I could tell, using my intuned, evolved senses. My muscles tense, finally reacting when the pointers of the ring lift and aim at the direction of the palace.
"They're on their way."
"Others will have heard by now," Seini reasons, grasping me by the forearm and tugging, urging me to rise. I obey slowly, still shaking from my ordeal and the revelation of what is to come now that my existence is no longer secret. "The ka temples."
"I'm not allowing someone like him access to the sacred…!"
"Priest Mahaado, there is no time!"
Holding tightly to my arm, Seini assists me in getting to my feet. He does not mention to the irate priest that he has been training me in said temples. My legs won't stop shaking and I use all my willpower not to collapse back to the ground. Not in front of Mahaado. Seini isn't the palace's head sunu for nothing. He takes charge of the situation, resolve set around keeping me from getting butchered by a mob.
"You stall them and I will take him somewhere safe."
"He's not going in my temple," the priest warns the older man against such a ludicrous idea. As if I wanted to go to his stupid temple! "Or Pharaoh's!"
"We will go to that of the necklace. I was working in there so the seal is already broken. No one will be suspicious," Seini says while beginning to walk away, arm jerking when I don't move with him.
Mahaado stares me down, seeing nothing but a parasite that he has allowed to live for the pure fact that his god wishes it. If not for Atem, he'd kill me outright. I know that now and the anger and humiliation burn. To think he is that powerful. Why did it have to be him?
"Do us all a favor and make yourself scarce. Now."
He leaves without another word or so much as a glance. The simplicity of this order makes it all the more cutting. My hand fists and it dawns on me that I am still holding the knife soaked in Seth's blood. Tightening my grip, I glare after him as he stalks away to play the hero and land in Atem's good graces. He just wants to make sure Atem hears his side of the story first.
"Bakura, please."
Seini's insistence and care pay off for him. I give in, allowing him to lead me away from the place where I almost made a true difference. If they hadn't impeded me, everyone would be a lot safer now. Mahaado has ruined everything.
"I know you're angry with me, Bakura…"
"I'm not," I assure him gruffly, both of us knowing that it is a lie.
His interference threw off everything. I would have finished Seth. The guards too. No one would be the wiser as to several disappeared peoples. The sunu knows my thoughts, placing a bruised and bloody hand on my shoulder. I flinch, wanting to pull away and scream at him, blame him. It would be so easy except I respect him. If it were Mahaado standing before me, I would go for the priest's throat.
"They would have known, Bakura. One way or another. You are far safer this way than if Priest Mahaado hadn't made it in time…"
"Why are you still protecting me?" I ask from between my teeth as we limp in total darkness, neither of us requiring light. "You know the truth of things. Shouldn't you be calling for Pharaoh to burn me?"
Seini has stopped as we stand near the ajar door to a ka temple I have entered several times for training my sensory skills. The hand moves up and lightly smacks me across the back of my head. I start, my own fingers running over where he hit me. It doesn't sting even a bit, meant to be more as a scolding than anything.
"I know well enough where you sleep in the palace, whose bed you share," my teacher says evenly. "I also am quite certain that sleeping isn't the only activity that takes place there. When it comes to his highness, I am confident in our Pharaoh's bloodline, as I have been in his father and his father before him. That is enough proof for me in regards to what you are and what you are not. As for you…I have grown fond of you, I will freely admit. You are the most rambunctious and unconventional student I have ever taken under my wing. Also bursting with a strong will, great power, and unmeasured devotion to Pharaoh. Stop me when I get to the part where you find justification that I should demand your death."
I should be elated. This is what I've been agonizing over since I first met Seini. It's been torturous to carry this secret, never knowing how he would react, what he would do. I admire the man, possibly more than anyone else I've ever met. Yet there is no joy, no relief in his knowing. Not like this. Not when I have failed so miserably.
Seini cocks his head, listening intently to muffled voices in the distance, no doubt at the scene of the attack. My mind spins. I don't feel like hiding from these cowardly humans. There are too many important things to be done to be hindered by the frightened people. Seth and those guards need to be silenced. Malik. Before Seth breathes his last, he will tell me what he was alluding to about Malik. It could have been a lie. It must be. My pulse is pounding harder, blood rushing to my ears as I picture Malik standing strong and determined between myself and Seth. The secrets he kept are of less consequence as the plain fact that he is willing to risk his own safety and life for my own. What if Seth or someone else figured that out?
"Bakura, they'll be coming soon. We must get you out of sight," the sunu still has me by the crook of the arm as he presses open the large door to the temple, intending to lead me into another hole in which to hide like a frightened, defenseless creature.
I shrug him off, taking a step back from my teacher. His brow furrows, features tightening.
"No."
"Bakura…"
"I have to go. There are things I must see to immediately."
"Now is not the time to be anarchic," the sunu says in a hushed voice, bony hand reaching out. "There are too many people about, all looking for you."
"Then I'll be careful."
I turn on my heel, walking as fast as I dare as my head still spins and throbs from Mahaado's attack. Seini follows several steps, knowing he will be unable to keep up if I chose to shake him off.
"Seth won't be alone. I guarantee you that. Keep your head level. No one is going to be by themselves. You cannot gain anything tonight by trying to venture back to the palace."
"I just need my cloaks," I say, referring to the layers of fabric I wear to combat the harsh night temperatures of the wilderness. I only wear one when wandering the grounds to practice with the sunu. The rest are stored in Atem's chambers, unbeknownst to my lover. Seini doesn't need an explanation to know where I'm heading.
"Pharaoh won't…"
"He's not here!" I snap at the sunu, my anger at last getting the better of me. "Leave Atem's temper to me, Seini. This doesn't concern you. You've meddled enough, so just stay out of it!"
(Yami's POV)
The uproar bleeds long into the following morning, chaos taking over the servants and guards alike, jumping and up in arms at the movements of their own shadows. The lesser priests race to the temples in search of magical text that could prove useful against a powerful demon. No one listens to Shimon when he tries to take some control. They submit and obey reluctantly only when I send Karim and Shaddi to suppress the hysteria. Shaddi has a no-nonsense attitude while Karaim's physical presence alone commands obedience. Isis has been put somewhere by the priest of the scales to recover. We await her awakening for vital information. That occupies all of them, as I need it to be.
Mahaado and I enter the dark chamber with no windows. The smashed jars and papyrus littering the floor speak volumes of the haste that took place for a very brief moment in here, several of the items closer to the table soaked in blood as it even now drips down from the edge closest to us. Akunadin stands before his son's head, wide blue eyes gaping up at his father. Seth's flesh has gone pale, a sort of greyish-blue like dull fish scales. I look at the wound and regret it, my stomach churning with sickness. Mahaado catches my elbow as I falter, keeping me from falling and embarrassing myself. A single rushlight remains lit on the table next to Seth's right hip, obscuring Akunadin in the shadows it produces. The light sways, playing off the dead eyes like pieces of dull glass.
"I called for Seini."
Akunadin's voice is quiet but his tone speaks volumes as he stands before the body of his murdered son. I feel no grief for my cousin and no pity for my uncle. I know what they had in store for me. All I am experiencing is fear in its most raw form. Here we stand with a dangerous man of whom we know to be a foe, someone who can read every thought, anything that comes to the surface of our consciousness. No matter what I do, there is no way to keep my dread at bay. I cannot conceal Bakura from him any longer, if my lover was ever a secret to the priest to begin with.
"Of course, that was hours ago. How did he fare?" my uncle inquires, knowing full well if he wants to. That's the worst part: unlike the other Items, the eye does not give any hint, any clue that it is being used when tapping into a mind. Would he dare…?
"A bit shaken and bruised," Mahaado makes excuses for the sunu, the two of us remaining by the door. I hate being in closed quarters with my uncle. Mahaado is right, of course. It's best no one else get involved in this. Bringing Seini in would only worsen things, as he was present for the attack.
"He is collecting himself then? My son is in need of the rites."
"Seini is recovering, if you could just…"
"Let us drop the pretenses, Mahaado. It is only the four of us here after all, and my son will not speak again."
I couldn't agree more, but now neither Mahaado nor I are willing to say anything. Akunadin is at an advantage despite his heavy loss last night. We don't want to blurt anything or bring up anything of which my uncle had not been aware. It is useless.
"Yes it is, Pharaoh," Akunadin concurs as thought I'd spoken aloud in conversation. I've witnessed him do this when interrogating hapless criminals, always thankful that, being Pharaoh, I was untouchable.
"Akunadin, do not stoop to this level!" Mahaado beseeches his fellow priest to go no further into this treachery. The high priests all took solemn oaths to the gods that they would never use their Items on one another and, most importantly, me.
"I have not 'stooped' as far as you, Mahaado. Do not act so righteous before me!" After these heated words, his voice lowers but loses none of its sinister air. "What I am interested in now it that justice is served for my slain son."
"There will be justice…"
"Justice?" Akunadin barks a laugh. "This coming from a high priest who would allow a tomb robbing phantom to continue plundering? There are few transgressions that would greater offend the gods!"
His silhouette dips, neck angling so, even though I cannot see his face, I can tell he is looking straight at me. The sparse light catches the gold of the eye, making it appear to blink in the dark. In a panic, I begin to trembling while racking my brain for random, harmless memories and thoughts; consequently conjuring every damning piece of evidence I can recall.
"Aside, that is, from having carnal relations with said demon."
My uncle's fingers close over Seth's face, curling into the mouth and eyes as his Item dissects me and all I hold dear. I am powerless to stop him.
Mahaado moves ahead of me, taking control of the situation as I quiver. I would just as soon banish my uncle to the Shadow Realm and be done with him and Seth for good. From Akunadin's voice, I can tell he's smirking.
"It wouldn't be that simple, Pharaoh."
"You and your son's plots end here and now," Mahaado's words are hushed, edged with an undertone of ferocity. "We know of your treason against Pharaoh. Who would side with you and your outlandish claims, regardless of the truth of them? You were going to murder Pharaoh!"
By the end of his speech he is bellowing, Millennium ring alight. Mahaado waits only for my permission to banish my uncle for good. The tip of my tongue is poised on my teeth.
"And how did you come to this intriguing conclusion?" Akunadin questions evenly, not shaken in the least; perhaps partially because he has lost everything. He and Mahaado stare each other down. "I have many allies and friends in the court, being the late pharaoh's brother and uncle of the present one. I am well-respected. Before you blast me into oblivion, you might first consider what explanation you would give them. If it's this murder tale, then you'd best be able to bring forth a credible source." His natural eye narrows in delight, asking what he already knows. "Tell me, Mahaado, who told you that they overheard such evil things spilling from my mouth? Someone that the other priests will believe?" A strong hand strokes along the side of his son's pale face. "Someone you trust, Mahaado?"
My friend has gone quiet, glaring at his senior as his anger burns. I would give the order for Akunadin's demise, but it is too late. Akunadin has planted the seed of doubt in my friend. No, it was already there, festering. Akunadin just gave it water to grow. While my friend is by no means convinced of Akunadin's innocence, it doesn't mean he ever trusted Bakura's story. Furthermore, we cannot lead Bakura into open court. Firstly, they'll think he's a phantom. Secondly, the phantom that killed Seth. Then, regardless of whether I can convince them he is not a phantom, he will still be guilty of Seth's death. They won't believe he's human. Hells, I don't know whether or not he is. I cannot stand before my people and proclaim what I do not know. Even more damning would be the revelation that my touch does not harm Bakura. Seth may be dead, but that makes Akunadin next in line since I haven't any heirs.
"Now then, how soon can we expect Seini for the rites?" my uncle brushes the accusations aside like cobwebs. "My son was never charged with any wrongdoings. He deserves a proper burial and tomb he had constructed for the Afterlife."
I already see futility of it. We could accuse him of plotting to kill me but then he and his friends would demand proof. They would require introducing my lover—the only witness. This, in turn, would be sign enough for the majority that I am not the rightful pharaoh; which would lessen any crime it would have been for Akunadin to slay me, given I would theoretically not belong on the throne. My life would be forfeit and he would rise as Pharaoh in my stead.
"I will escort him here by and by," Mahaado says, not giving me a chance to speak. "You shall go with Pharaoh and address the court."
Send him with me?! It does follow custom but, seriously, has Mahaado lost it? Next I know, he is all but shoving me out the door, Akunadin following behind me casting suspicious looks over his shoulder, trying to get a read on Mahaado's motives before the door is slammed quite promptly. I'm shaking head to toe, for an instant forgetting which direction leads to the throne room.
"That would be the corridor to your right, highness," Akunadin's deep voice reverberates in the empty hall as he comes up beside me without asking permission.
"I'm not sorry for any of this," I say between my teeth. "Seth should rot. His heart will be devoured at the weighing of the Feather of Ma'at. Mummification and a tomb of splendor will not save him."
"You seem quite certain of this," my uncle says as we begin our walk to give a formal announcement regarding Seth's passing, keeping our voices low less anyone should happen by.
"I am. I know what Seth would have tried to do to me if he'd ever had gotten the chance," I retort, hands balled into fists.
"Ah yes. Your secret lover told you."
I keep my eyes ahead, terrified of what my expression may betray. It's futile as he pages through my mind instead. I can almost feel it.
"He doesn't burn."
This revelation pleases him; what little pleasure he can take from this catastrophe, he revels in. Most likely he knew before this night, depending on what Malik told Seth. My mouth has gone bone dry, blood leaving my face.
"My son, Osiris bless and accept him, deduced quite a bit in his crossing with Malik. It was not a civilized conversation, as you assume. It was Malik after all. One can only expect so much from a rogue. Malik was there for alternative reasons."
"Such as?" I'll humor him for the sake of my own peace of mind that he'd rather talk than tell me what I'm thinking.
"Apparently Malik came to rescue his power-hungry, bloodthirsty friend. Poor wretched Malik hadn't wanted any involvement in your personal drama at all." My blood runs cold, comprehending who he is referring to.
"What you are suggesting is completely…"
"What do you think happened to the vessel of the dragon? She didn't up and leave on her own terms. Knowing Malik, he would have killed her out of mercy on the spot."
The man chuckles as we weave in and out of sunlit halls with tall block windows. The corridors are empty, everyone finding ways to defend themselves against a monster. The sun does not warm the chill within my bones as I listen, doing my best to not fall for his lies. There would be no reason for Bakura to grab the girl he speaks of. No reason for him to be in the temple in the first place…
"Did I mention her pale skin that some individuals might have found intriguing?" He smirks at the shock painted on my face. He knew about the white dragon. He knew all along. But was she a…? "No. Not a phantom. Just a foreigner. But different-looking enough to arouse curiosity in a confused creature, no?"
"Your games are getting old fast!" I snap back, itching to blast him out the next window and watch him fall to his death even as his stories rattle my confidence.
"I apologize, Pharaoh," he replies without a trace of sincerity. "I did not mean to upset you. You must be lenient with me. My actions tonight are no doubt my grief impairing my judgment. I trust you will be merciful to a grieving father and not hold it against me."
He would use his son's death as a safeguard to serve his own means. Akunadin picks up his pace, approaching the throne room ahead of me, as if in anticipation of it being his to claim. Two guards are planted on either side of the large doors looking quite agitated. Their eyes fill with pity and admiration when Akunadin comes forward, head held high; a strong man facing the violent death of his only child. Before we are within earshot my uncle turns back to me.
"There is one thing you must clear up for me, highness."
He has no reason to ask. This is another of his tricks to mess with me and rile me up. Worse, there's nothing I can do to impede him.
"What?" I ground out.
"When are you planning to tell Bakura what you did to his friend?"
Akunadin turns without waiting for a response, leaving me with a slackened jaw. He walks through the great doors into the throne room without me. I'm left in the dark just beyond the last ray of sunlight, a cold terror freezing up my entire body.
(Bakura's POV)
"Are you satisfied?"
Atem stands in the doorway to his chambers, having been to deal with the commotion in the attack on Seth. I settle for sending him a fierce look as I sit on the edge of the bed, having already stashed the sack with my cloaks and weapons in the hidden passage until sunset. It took longer than I anticipated getting back here and by the time I had it was too late to start out. I've had to hide several times as servants and slaves came and went. At least not everyone has completely lost it and can still function. Atem's frown deepens when I refuse to speak. He begins to close the distance between us but stops short of touching me when he sees the dried blood coating my hands and clothes.
"They should have put in hot water by now. Though the past night and day were…eventful," he states, averting his gaze and walking towards the washing room to see for himself. Pushing the thin fabric of the thin curtain with the back of his hand, he says, "Bakura, you need to clean up."
"I did what you would not. I am not sorry for it."
"We can talk about that later. Come on," he beckons me to follow to the bath. I don't budge.
His shoulders are squared, tension holding his posture rigid. Atem's movements are sharp as if he's expecting the phantom everyone is looking for will materialize from nothing and attack. The stupid puzzle hangs from his neck, as always, ready to take down any foe that may present themselves. Unlikely. I've seen who holds the real power here. It's not him. I stare at his stiff back, patience long gone from being trapped here for hours and having everything ruined. Why won't he share in his anger?
"You're pissed off, Atem. So be pissed off," I growl, tired of the façade. "Don't play Mahaado's monotone with me."
"Mahaado is far from monotone after you actions last night!" Atem scoffs, giving up on his coaxing, the purple fabric falling back into place. "You are lucky Seini came across you before he did." Arms planted on his hips, he finally looks at me again, letting his temper seep out. "Gods, Bakura, what's gotten into you?"
"I did just what I swore I would," I rejoin, not about to back down this time. "It's hardly my fault you didn't take me seriously…"
"Take you seriously?!" he exclaims and I sense the magic surging just beneath his skin all over his body. "You attack a former high priest in a courtyard with a knife in the middle of the night and you're mad I wasn't out there waiting to stop you? Do you hear yourself, Bakura? Do you hear how crazy you sound?"
I stand slowly, keeping myself appearing level-headed despite my screaming inside. His expression wavers at the blood, shaking his resolve. Bristling, I cannot believe it. He would fear anything saturated in blood. Some king.
"I'm the only one trying anything sensible. And I wasn't attacking random people. It was Seth."
"And I told you repeatedly not to lay a finger on him."
"In case you've forgotten amidst all of your festivals and ceremonies—you're not my god!"
Seething, Atem whips around sharply and rams his fists into the wall with all his might, fissures spreading out around his hands from the release of pent up Shadow Magic. Remaining there, he presses his forehead to the cold stone, back to me so I cannot see his face. This just angers me more that he is holding back with me.
"Akunadin knows—possibly everything."
Is Atem really this stupid?
"So get rid of him."
"This is not the desert! We are not barbarians that stab each other in the back when an opportunity presents itself. He said your name, Bakura!"
"Fantastic," I deadpan, bristling at the 'barbarian' comment. "Get rid of him."
"I said stop it!"
"Make me."
He hands unclench, running down the wall and falling at his sides. He takes a deep breath, shoulders moving down when he finally exhales loudly. I hate it when he does this; when he decides it best to not unleash his temper with me for fear he lose control. I can feel the energies around him simmering down and it only ignites my own rage.
"I mean it, Atem."
"Quit picking fights or you'll get yourself in more trouble. I have enough problems to tend to without you creating more."
Fury slithers up my spine as I stand behind him dumbfounded and incensed. He has never talked down to me like I'm such a nuisance. A pest. Mahaado has dug his claws in deep.
"I am not your responsibility."
He sighs again that his charge should dare argue with him.
"Just go clean up, Bakura," he says, weary of me.
"Why? Does the blood bother you?"
His muscles stiffen at this insult, recognizing it for the challenge that it is. Why does no one take me seriously? All I am to Atem and Malik is some helpless creature in need of their supervision and protection. Do they really see me as some dimwitted creature? Malik at least asks me my opinions on most subjects; not like Atem. Plus, Malik is now aware that I am not so defenseless. Here in the palace I am something to be hidden in secret passages and never spoken of to a soul. Atem thinks I'm fragile like him.
"You know the answer already to that," Atem speaks softly as he turns, hurt visible in his features before they fold into a stern mask, trying to be pharaoh-like. "Stop picking fights with everyone."
"If I don't fight, who will? Who will fend off Seth and his…?"
"Seth is dead, Bakura," he snaps, something flashing in his eyes as he stares at me severely, waiting to see my reaction.
I am muted for a moment by slight surprise. I mean, I knew it was a likely lethal wound when I inflicted it, but I don't put much past what Seini is capable of healing. Then again, the healer was hunkered down in the ka temple when I left him, so he wasn't present to save Seth. A grin spreads across my face.
"Well it's about time."
"Why are you smiling?" Atem asks, horrified for some reason. "Seth died of his wounds. The wounds you gave him."
"I figured as much. It took long enough for someone to silence that bastard."
"You just killed someone and you're gloating about it?" his voice rises as he eyes me like I'm a complete stranger; a frightening stranger.
"Well yeah," I sneer at his prissy attitude. "He was a powerful threat and I'm glad he's dead." I narrow my eyes as his disbelief increases. "That was not my first kill, Atem. Not even close."
"So that's it?" he asks, arms folding across his chest resting atop the Millennium puzzle. "Because it was not the first person you killed, his death is less significant?"
What the hells is his problem?
"How would you have me react? Repentant?—'cause I'm not and never will be."
"I want you to act like someone who just killed a human being! Not joyous and indifferent to the fact that it was a life despite the hatred there."
He's joking. Fuck, he's actually being serious. What is he going to suggest next? That I fall prostrate before the corpse and beg the giant statues for pardon? Maybe then I could wail along with the mourners. Ha! Seth having mourners! Now that's a funny thought. I catch that adamant look in violet eyes, all humor quickly departing, replaced with incredulity.
"You're not going to bury that twit in a decked out tomb and everything?" I ask, already confident of the answer I do not want to hear. "What is wrong with you people? He was getting ready to kill you while you and Mahaado sat patiently on your haunches waiting for him to do it! He was going to take the throne of your precious country and your response to his death is 'I think I'll give him a proper, honorary burial'?"
Atem shifts just barely in his discomfort, knowing there is truth in my words even if he will not admit it to me. It's not something Mahaado would do, so why should my lover?
"We never formally charged him with anything…"
"Oh. Well then by all means bury the bastard in hills of gold!" I throw my blood-encrusted hands up in the air as I yell.
"You talk as if you understand what is going on, how the dynamics of the royal court operate. You don't!" Atem raises his voice to me again, this time currents of magic pulsing through the air. "It's complex. It's intricate and sensitive. One cannot merely…"
"You're their god. Overrule their stupid opinions like you do mine."
"I don't…!"
"Yes you do!" I shout, backing away when he leaves the cracked wall and steps toward me as if to try and cocoon me into submission. "But because I don't think or act like the rest of you, my thoughts and concerns are irrelevant. Isn't that how you think it should be? That only the most powerful people get a say?"
"You have a say. With me, you always have a say."
I shake my head. He really doesn't get it.
"I might be able to speak freely, unlike your palace goons, but I know how insignificant my views are to you."
Diabound presses to emerge and I push back, a quick spark of fear igniting for a moment as I worry my ka will take form without my consent. I can control it. This isn't the time to reveal it to Atem. It seems Mahaado did not tell him. Why would that be? The priest is the type to have me fall out of Atem's favor. Why would he conceal the fact that I can summon a very powerful ka?
"Bakura, I didn't…If you felt that way, then why did you never...?"
"You wouldn't have heard me," I cut him off, knives lining my words as I glare at him. "When Mahaado speaks, you fall deaf to everything and everyone else."
His face reddens, rushing to defend saintly Mahaado from my defaming his good name. Even when Mahaado had fallen out of his good graces, Atem would not insult the priest. Now I get it. It is all about strength and power—both aspects of Mahaado. These are qualities Atem respects. In me, he has witnessed neither.
"Mahaado is my most trusted priest. He is the only one of my council that knows of you. He has kept quiet against his conscience for my sake. If it had been anyone else…"
"Listen to your sing his praises," I taunt, spiteful of the priest who has won Atem over without a fight.
"Mahaado is not the enemy, Bakura!"
"It doesn't matter either way—you treat friend and foe alike."
"As you are right now. Why are you treating me this way, Bakura?" Atem demands, eyes clouding with pain, hating that he can't make me worship him like all the others. "What have I done to deserve this?"
I don't answer outright. The fact of the matter is he doesn't care about what I do for him. As long as Mahaado says it's wrong, it's wrong. Even more than that, Atem does not have faith in me. He never has. He puts all his trust in his priests and gods. He follows the scriptures that declare phantoms evil and soulless, instructing pharaohs to burn us on sight. Malik understood all of this, taking me under his wing as soon as we stopped squabbling and became fast friends. He never lied to me. I realize that now. He did conceal a great deal. His point of views, I used to think, were too harsh. Aside from his ideas about Seini, pretty much all of it has turned out to be true. Even a lot of predictions he made earlier on about Atem and what he would become.
Seth's foreboding words still burn inside of my ears. Something has happened to Malik. I wouldn't have taken the bait except that Malik has seemingly vanished, leaving no hints as to where he intended to go. After our altercation it's possible he up and left the area and maybe even Egypt. I don't buy it despite it being the preferred possibility.
"Bakura."
Atem reaches his hand out. His tan fingers stop before they can touch me, almost as if they came upon an invisible barrier. I feel it too.
"I'm going to talk to Seini," I say quickly, just wanting to be somewhere Atem isn't so I can clear my head.
"He should be going to…He's busy at the moment."
"Then I'll wait in the passage," I say, going around him, heading for the hidden door. The only door I am allowed to use.
"What is the hurry? He is already occupied with something important," Atem protests, following after but not touching me. He hangs back and does not grab me, most likely on account of the blood. "Bakura, you can't just up and go during the middle of a conversation!"
A conversation with you, you mean.
Instead of this biting comment, I manage to dig out a different response.
"I need to talk with Seini as soon as I'm able. I need to apologize," I say as I wrench the door opening, realizing that at least that much is the truth.
"Seini gets an apology but I do not?" his voice raises in indignation. "Why is that?"
"Because he deserves one," I retort, ramming the door shut in his shocked face, knowing this time he will not follow.
(Yami's POV)
"Pharaoh!" Shimon calls again, voice subdued from the other side of the door.
I'm at last drawn out of my daze, finding myself still gaping at the wall through which Bakura departed with that cruel remark. How long have I been standing here? Shaking my head, I make myself turn away, knowing he isn't coming back anytime soon. Bakura seems to be seeking Seini's company more and more frequently. It makes me jealous that he feels he cannot confide in me. I could outright order Seini to tell me all they speak of, but it would only serve to add to the betrayal I have already committed. I won't knowingly add to my transgressions if it can be helped.
"Pharaoh!" This time Shaddi's quieter voice reaches my ears, snapping me to attention. To have both of them here must mean there has been a development.
"Come in."
They enter after a respectful pause, Shaddi reaching behind and closing the door. My former tutor and my advisor both wear grave expressions. Or it could be sleep deprivation. None of us have rested since the upheaval last night and it is now dark again. I ordered that the priests sleep in shifts so there is always someone on guard. It is a rather pointless thing and I feel guilty for making them on edge and keeping them from their respite, but they must believe the phantom story; at least for now.
"What is it?" I ask as they both incline before straightening up again.
"Priestess Isis awakened…"
"Then let us go to her!" I say, glad for this diversion and anxious as to what she saw in that vision that caused her to collapse.
Neither of them moves, staring at me in the most unnerving way. This pause makes me shiver as I wonder what she has told them. Please don't let it be Bakura that she has seen. I am not prepared to deal with this, not with my priests. Perhaps after we have gotten Bakura's temper under control.
"She awakened only briefly before she was overcome again," Shaddi clarifies what I had not allowed him to finish. "Karim is keeping watch by her side."
"Oh. Good." I nod, walking on eggshells as I try to decipher what it is that they have yet to tell me, not wanting to appear I am hiding anything from them. "So…did she say anything more?"
"Some." Shimon glances at Shaddi who nods back. Their discomfort is fraying my nerves as I stand, feeling as a child before them once more. "Pharaoh, about this phantom that killed Seth…"
Shit. Here it comes. She saw. That stupid necklace showed her! I wish Mahaado was here. How am I to explain any of this? Maybe it didn't reveal much to her. That Item can be rather temperamental in its workings. Sometimes it is incredibly vague while other times it will give very clear accounts of future happenings. It is the most unreliable source for information. Perhaps I can use that to my advantage in dealing with her vision?
"…spoken to the guards. They and Mahaado assure us that no one else was present. Mahaado did a sweep with the ring for good measure to check for any other spiritual signatures," Shimon is explaining while Shaddi stands to his left, face clouded as he stares at nothing. "According to Isis, the creature that will rival the gods was in that courtyard."
"But that's…not possible," I stumble over my words, trying to wrap my mind around what he has said.
"It is unprecedented," Shaddi thinks he is agreeing with me, not comprehending why I am confused. "A phantom with that type of power. We were not even aware they had ka, let alone one so strong."
"Isis must have been mistaken," I reply, shaking my head while holding my hand to my temple. Can they see how I am trembling? "There has to be something we've missed. Obviously someone else was there."
"Obviously?" Shimon echoes, puzzled at my reaction. "Pharaoh, there were only three individuals present in that courtyard: Seth, Seini, and the phantom. Seth had no magical abilities remaining. While he was capable of summoning his own ka, he did not; nor was it the beast in question. Seini has far greater capabilities, but we know his ka. Not to mention his loyalty to you. By process of elimination, that leaves us with the conclusion…"
"It's not possible!" I snap, stepping towards them aggressively. "Do you hear me? Find out the truth of the matter. Isis is confused."
"But Pharaoh…"
"No! She is wrong!" I bellow and they both draw back, not having expected this reaction from me.
A knock on the door stops me from taking it too far and revealing everything in my passion to defend Bakura. He is already being hunted by everyone in my city. Isn't that enough? Must the accusations continue to pile up around him? Without my permission, the door opens; Shaddi and Shimon turn part way so they can still view me but also see the newcomer who dared enter without waiting for my approval. Mahaado arrives, seeming fully aware of what is happening.
"I take it they have told you?"
He remains passive while I glare at him in reply, angered that he is letting them thrust all of the blame onto Bakura just because it is convenient. The other priest and my advisor say nothing of the casual way Mahaado addresses me. They are already bewildered by my reaction to their 'news'.
"It is not true," I repeat vehemently, daring Mahaado to contradict me. "Tell them, Mahaado. Tell them Isis is mistaken."
My friend's gaze is hard. He is still angry at Bakura, and with good reason. I myself am incensed with my lover. That doesn't mean I will accept Mahaado making Bakura something to use to explain away all of the occurrences lately. We agreed earlier with Seini to let the people hunt an imaginary being. By faulting Bakura for this mess, it's becoming too real.
"We all want answers," the younger priest says in a quiet voice, never looking from me. "With Isis out of commission, we will have to do our best with what little information she could provide us. Let us not jump to any conclusions but also not cast aside any possibilities."
I have no response to that. If I outright tell him to shut up the others will truly become suspicious. Mahaado is mediating because I have let my emotions run amok. I know I am acting irrational yet even so I cannot will myself to stop. This is Bakura we are talking about. There is nothing trivial about this conversation.
"What do you suggest then?" Shimon asks, having noticed my silence and thinking it is a willingness to listen. Really, it is because I do not have a comeback that is safe in front of these two.
"Regardless of whether or not it was the phantom's doing, it is safe to say that the beast has emerged and is now a threat," Mahaado states, and I feel like a shadow in his presence. He takes charge so effortlessly, able to keep himself in check. "We must prepare ourselves for that, rather than go looking for the phantom. We need to be ready when the attack comes, able to both fight and defend."
"But how? Isis had mentioned before that this creature can challenge the gods."
Shaddi doesn't outright say it. None of them do. It's like they're all watching me, but only Mahaddo is actually looking at me. I struggle not to squirm in embarrassment. I have never summoned the gods. In my defense, there here has never been a need. My father before me never called upon them either. We are the only pharaohs to rule with Millennium Items. I do not need the others to tell me that my powers are far below par of what they should be as the gods' vessel. I haven't been training as much as I should and it shows. To be fair, there have been distractions the plenty.
"In her brief time awake she also mentioned that it is weak, whatever that means," Shimon remarks, tugging at his beard in thought. "You walked the courtyard as well, Priest Mahaado. What is your take on this beast?"
Those grey eyes that are on the border of being lavender never look away from me, locked with mine. He's trying to speak to me, to warn me of something. I resist the urge to shake my head, looking back at him half pleading, half demanding.
"From what I could gather, it is strong but not unstoppable. I could take it on one-on-one without risking any real threat to myself. How it will come to be a true menace remains a mystery. We must take it down before it reaches its foreseen potential."
These words are like a knife to my gut and my entire body goes numb as I listen in disbelief. He never said anything to me! I could tell something was bothering him, but he never confided in me about this. Was it because of how overwrought I was with Bakura killing Seth and Akunadin threatening us? Mahaado didn't exactly keep his composure during that confrontation. Still, he held it together better than I. The fault lies with me. If I had been more in control of myself he might have told me sooner. Alone. Not in front of Shaddi and Shimon. Or perhaps he is using their presence as a shield so I don't try blasting him into a wall again as he lays out his suspicions. While he keeps his tone level I know he is furious, having to hold back as well.
What he is suggesting is impossible. Bakura does not have any power, let alone a ka. We never unveiled the mystery of his origin. There was little to go on. The secrecy complicated things as well. If only we had told Seini earlier. Perhaps he could have shed some light on things for us. Then again, the time he has spent with Bakura has helped them form some bond. Would the sunu have been so willing to believe Bakura is not a demon had he not gotten to know him first?
Shaddi clears his throat, trying to hide his discomfort as he phrases his next question carefully.
"Do you think that perhaps…Should Mahaado retrieve his powers?"
"I cannot come back here while in that state," Mahaado says, closing the door to that option. "It is too great a risk."
"What if you could get the phantom to follow you there? Set a trap?" Shimon presses eagerly. Okay, maybe not quite closed.
"As of late, I have not been a target. For some reason Seth seemed to have attracted its attention," Mahaado replies while looking at me pointedly. "Even without his Item, it came after him."
"Could this have something to do with the dragon?" Shaddi wonders, not expecting anyone to answer.
I need to play along, I realize. Shifting the conversation could help. It will still end with Bakura in the middle of all of this.
'It will be all right,' I reason. 'Once we talk some sense into him, we can "kill" the phantom. Again. And then everything will settle down.'
"Akunadin mentioned the vessel of the dragon," I speak up, trying to regain some control over the conversation to which I have been a bystander. Three sets of eyes turn to me in surprise. "He said she had the appearance of a phantom." Okay, so he said she wasn't a phantom, but they don't need to know that.
"When was this?" Mahaado asks.
I don't give him the curtesy of answering, as he left me in the dark.
"So it could be a vengeance sort of thing?" Shimon mumbles and I am pleased he is at least considering it.
"Perhaps it's trying to take control of the dragon? It could be, regardless of whether what Akunadin said is true or not," Shaddi ends darkly. While my former tutor has not been informed of the treacheries of Akunadin and Seth, it's safe to say he's hazarded a guess that something is amiss.
I nod.
"All right. We're getting somewhere. The stone containing the dragon will be moved to somewhere more secure," I say, wondering why none of us had thought to hide it.
"The high priests can take shifts guarding it," Shimon inputs, smiling at the wearied Key holder.
"Not Akunadin," I say quickly and no one argues; whether out of distrust for my uncle or pity in the death of his son.
"He will want to be involved," Shimon points out, seeing as how the 'phantom' murdered Seth.
"It is settled," I announce in a tone of finality that says our little assembly is adjourned. "Get some rest. We hold council at first light."
Shimon and Shaddi bow and turn to leave, the high priest pausing when he realizes Mahaado has not budged. His sharp eyes catch the contrary looks we are giving each other and he knows well enough to back off and get out of the way. The door closes quietly behind them, leaving Mahaado and me.
"So," I say, glaring at him now that we are alone. "What is this about the beast of the visions being in the courtyard? Is it true?"
Mahaado scowls, not taking to my attitude. He deserves it after keeping such a big secret from me, even if I wasn't in a frame of mind to absorb it.
"It is possible. The only one who can confirm that without a shadow of a doubt is Isis," he replies tightly.
"That isn't true and you know it. That Item is unreliable and should never be fully trusted." I walk around the bed and thrust back the thick curtains leading to the balcony. Cold enters the room, a foreboding presence all its own. "If you believed it was even remotely possible, why did you not tell me?"
"I was on my way to do so. Shimon and Shaddi just beat me to it. When we first met up in the courtyard you were nearing hysterics, highness." I cross my arms, jaw clenching in anger and embarrassment. "I was planning to speak with you about it, but I had to keep Akunadin away from Seini while Seini performed the rites for Seth."
"Why bother anymore?" I say dejectedly, shoulders slumping. "He has already looked into our minds both."
"Because Bakura and Seini do spend time together, more than you think. It's hard to say what Seini knows. He certainly wasn't shaken about Bakura being a ph…" Mahaado's voice cuts off when I turn and give him a look that could kill. "My point is, we don't know what they have found in common. They're an odd pair; you must admit it, Pharaoh."
"What could they possibly have to talk about?" I ask more to myself than him, having wondered this ever since I found out Bakura has been spending time with the sunu aside from when he is injured.
"I don't think it has all been talking."
"What?!"
Mahaado gives me an inquiring look at my panicked outburst, eyes widening when he sees my horror-struck face and it dawns on him what I am thinking.
"No. Oh Ra, that's not what I meant at all!" he says hastily, but it's too late. That image will forever be implanted in our minds. To think of Bakura and the elderly sunu in that way…I do my best to shrug it off but instead shudder. The edges of the priest's mouth quirk upwards at my obvious discomfort.
"You honestly thought…?"
"Wellllll…you're the one who's being all cryptic with his explanations," I mutter slumping onto my back on the bed, arms spread out.
"I'm not trying to be," he apologizes, sobering up as the fleeting moment of amusement has passed. "I just am at a loss for how to tell you."
Turning my head to the right so my ear is pressed into the bedclothes, I pierce him with my you-tell-me-now-or-else look. Actually, it's more of a look I developed after falling victim to Bakura's own expressions that are hard to hold up against.
"You think Bakura and this prophesied beast are connected somehow? Did you sense its aura near him or something?"
Mahaado grimaces, hand reaching down and caressing the Millennium ring on his chest. He is unnerved by something. It takes quite a feat to rattle him. Didn't he say the monster posed no threat to us as it is now? Why does he hesitate to speak?
"It was more like my pummeling him to the ground and rendering him unconscious before his ka could obliterate my men."
My world goes dark. Not what I can see, but what I can feel. Reality is threatening to shift much further than I will allow it to. I will not let it. I sit up slowly, never looking away from Mahaado. Surely this is a joke. There is no way that Bakura could have a ka; not without someone knowing. My mouth goes dry as it dawns on me what Mahaado is suggesting.
"You're saying Seini…?"
"The list of suspects for his teacher is fairly small," Mahaado replies, features chiseled into a grimace. "Then again, he could have been taught by Malik long before that."
"No. He said he had no powers. He has always been so distraught about being helpless…"
"But can you be certain he was being upfront with you?" my priest prods, not wanting to make me think this way. It is required though. For the sake of us all, it is necessary.
"Yes. Bakura wouldn't lie to…"
My voice trails off into a whisper and then ceases altogether. There was a time I would have been doubtless of his loyalty to me. I could put all my trust in him. My lover has become a stranger, paranoid and reckless. He has been taking risks he never would have before—at least not since the two of us became close.
"Regardless of who trained him, he hid this from you, Pharaoh," Mahaado says without any emotion, but his eyes have hardened. "He's running around with an unquenchable bloodlust, heedless of our cautions and rules, and he now possesses an awakened ka that Isis believes might end us all."
"You said you overpowered it with ease," I manage hoarsely, feeling ill as my head reels. "It cannot be the monster in question. In order to strengthen a ka, one would need a Millennium Item to use spells and traps. Bakura wouldn't steal one, nor does he possess the knowledge or skill to wield one."
"Malik did."
My stomach turns. It all keeps circling back to Malik. The unknowns surrounding him and Bakura terrify me. The fact that Bakura has chosen to keep all of this a secret is damning enough. Mahaado's allegiance to me on this matter is hanging by a loose thread.
"It isn't Bakura," I say.
He is trying to remain patient with me, trying to help me see the futility of it all.
"It has been foreseen, Pharaoh."
"Then it can be altered."
"That is doubtful," Mahaado replies. He, too, has become fatigued by all of the dangers. It shows on his face. "Once something is prophesized, it almost always happens. Sometimes because that is how it will be. Other times it occurs when someone who has caught a glimpse of the future tries to alter it. The act of trying to prevent this could actually serve to be the ultimate downfall. Yet we must try and hope it is the former."
"You cannot ask that of me," I whisper.
Mahaado is adamant, stepping closer as he stares down at me. He will not shift his stance on this. It was bad enough Bakura robs tombs. Now he is a threat to the living as well?
"Pharaoh, this is becoming too perilous. You need to consider the impacts on the kingdom. Think of your people. You have no heirs. There are enemies the plenty waiting in the wing. They will take advantage if this does play out as anticipated."
He keeps his gaze level with mine. Both of us refuse to back down. I didn't fall in love with Bakura and overcome all of the obstacles only to have him ripped away from me due to some stupid vision. So many times I have come close to losing him. Too close. It will not happen again. I made an oath to myself.
"He will not die as long as I still breathe. I swear to the gods, he won't," I murmur, closing my eyes and seeing Bakura's smiling face before me. "I will do whatever necessary to ensure his safety."
"At what cost? Seth was a danger, but who will it be next? Akunadin? Do you realize what Akunadin would find in Bakura's mind?—things of which we ourselves are not aware! Or will he take on someone who is weaker and does not possess an Item? Bakura got lucky with Seth being stripped of his powers and title. A chance like that will not come again."
"Why? What are you thinking?" I remain on the bed; it's a sort of safe haven from the world, all I have left to retreat to with my lover absent. "Are you considering Shaddi's suggestion?"
Mahaado hates tapping into his full power. It nearly destroyed him before. No one had realized how perilous it was until he was deemed the holder of the Millennium ring. For his own safety—for everyone's safety—he locked the majority of his own spiritual powers away deep in the desert, far from even the reaches of thieves. Malik would have known about it, but he also would have known it would be suicide to break into that cavern. It would unleash the energies on the intruder, killing them almost instantly if Mahaado was not present to command them.
"I don't know yet," my friend replies, quiet now as he turns to look at the dark balcony. "If it is required of me, it is what I shall do."
That's my priest. Leading me by example even to his own personal demons. It is a last resort, but he will do it. I'm frightened by the fact that he is taking this so seriously. I mean, it's Bakura. What exactly does Mahaado expect to happen? Attacking Seth was one thing. But does Mahaado actually believe Bakura would hurt me? Endanger people I care about? It stems from that distrust of my lover. Mahaado has never approved of our relationship.
I release an unsteady breath, bracing myself.
"The shock of Seth's death has shaken us all, but you are using it as a reason to turn Bakura into the scapegoat for everything that is going wrong. I will not tolerate that, Mahaado."
"You've become blind to what is happening around you, highness. This power of his must be quenched before it grows."
"If he even has it, it cannot grow. That would be impossible without him possessing an Item."
"Then you must never remove the puzzle in his presence."
"Mahaado, you are being ridiculou…"
"Promise me, Pharaoh. Promise me now that the puzzle with not leave your neck in his presence or I will go to Shimon and Shaadi this instant and tell all I know."
My body goes rigid, muscles clamping up at this threat. That's what it is: a threat. My first instinct is to tap into the puzzle. Bakura needs me to stand up for him when no one else will; when everyone else would have him put to death.
"There is no need for that. He isn't interested in the Millennium Items." I am on my knees on the bed, staring up into hard eyes, searching for a trace of my friend in this adamant priest. "But if it will keep peace, I will do it. In exchange, you need to back off. Bakura is alone in the world except for me now. I took Malik from him, not without reason, but I did. You and I discussed this in the ka temple with Seini already. The matter is closed."
"This power needs to be contained!" Mahaado snaps at me, ignoring the finality of my statement.
"How do you know your way is better?" I rejoin, glaring at him, the Millennium symbol on the puzzle flashing. "You said yourself that our actions may bring the opposite of what we wish."
"But there needs to be some type of action!" my priest holds out his hands, beseeching me not to fall for the wiles of a demon.
He isn't wrong about one thing. Something has to give. I need to be the one in control of the situation. If I allow Mahaado too much wiggle room he will only rile Bakura up. It is best I confront my lover myself about these claims of Isis and Mahaado. His stinging words from earlier ring in my ears and I internally grimace. He sounded so hateful, lashing out at me like that. I really don't want to go through that again. It's is hell when he is angry with me.
"To protect him…" I sigh, eyes downcast as I murmur, knowing it isn't enough in Mahaado's eyes. He will demand more. For now, this is all I am willing to do. "Back off, Mahaado. Just…Let me handle Bakura."
With my arms outstretched and my eyes closed
I used to fall toward you
Knowing that you'd catch me
You used to say that I was the air you breathed
But I can't live on memories anymore
Now I don't know if I want to be
Part of us anymore
Or just try to forget your eyes
(Yami's POV)
Pain lances through my head as I find myself once again flat on my stomach, my chin sporting a bruise from where it has hit the floor. This time I was lucky and didn't bite down on my tongue. Growling, I rise, shaking, to my hands and knees, casting a glare behind me where the dice master is seated, leg stretched out beneath my own feet. The time before that I actually got ahead of him and he lunged and grabbed my leg. He keeps a straight face, seeming to have grown weary with my plight.
"Are you done yet?"
Wiping at the blood seeping from between my lips, I fall back to sit. Otogi keeps his eyes trained on me, waiting to see if I have the wits to go back the long way again. I myself am questioning the sanity in this. Funny that it's me who really keeps it going.
"I could have broken my jaw, Otogi!"
"Yeah," he scoffs, undaunted. "You'd think after the first time you would try something different. Or even after the second time."
I had forgotten what a stubborn prick he can be when he sets his mind to something. It's maddening that the main reason he continues with this is because of my own determination. This has become some sort of twisted game for him. It is also unfair that he is apparently the more agile one.
"Well I am glad my suffering amuses you."
"Not anymore. It's gotten old."
"You could have let me go back around a long while ago. We'd be out of here by now."
"Excuse me? You've been sitting in the place you're afraid to walk through for half an hour now. And you're saying it's impossible for you to cross the last twenty feet to the other side?"
"Just admit you like tormenting me."
He grins. "Well, there's that too."
I shake my head, a horrible ache spreading through my jaw to the roots of my teeth. The dice master isn't faring that much better. During my second foiled attempt I grabbed a handful of his hair. He's pulled it back into the ponytail again, headband slightly askew, but it really is in need of a brush and some spray to right it.
"Question." I look over at him as he asks, "Is this about the fear of drowning anymore?"
It hadn't occurred to me, what with being so absorbed in my foiled plots to outsmart him; to which I have failed miserably. Still…I lift my head, turning my sore torso so I can look around the murky domain that we have stranded ourselves within. Neither of us did so willingly. Otogi didn't want to come to the aquarium in the first place and now he won't let me leave my way. How and when it became my way begs more questions. Sitting here with him, watching the powerful bodies shift in and out of the shadows as my tongue bleeds and my head throbs, having no Millennium Item to protect myself with for the first time in a very long time, I feel…oddly safe.
"No," I reply, rubbing my elbow gingerly as I straighten up a bit to really take in our surroundings. "I think it's more along the lines of we're both two very stubborn individuals. It's not about being right anymore or fear. I simply want to beat you."
"Likewise," he laughs and I have to join in, finding the true absurdity of the situation that we are responsible for putting ourselves in.
I like laughing. I forgot just how much I've missed it. Sure, my friends all joke around a lot. We have fun. But there was something different with Bakura; a wryness and sarcasm. He had a sense of humor that was both snarky and blunt. My friends, like so many people in my past, are careful of crossing lines less they should hurt someone's feelings; or, in Egypt, incur my wrath. I'm like that as well. The former. But there is something refreshing (and at times infuriating) about having someone who isn't afraid to get in your face and tell it like it is whether you're ready for it or not. It doesn't matter if it's appropriate or if someone will get offended. I understand only in this moment how very much I have missed having someone like that around.
Even if it is Otogi.
"Your eyes glazed over a bit there. Thinking about the good ol' days? I told you to snap out of it."
"Sorry. It's a bit of a habit." His very mentioning of it dampens my mood and I sigh.
"I sense the morale in here just plummeted."
How far do I dare open up to him? He isn't part of our group. Hells, until very recently he was intent on destroying Jounouchi by some means unknown to me. That alone should be cause for some concern on my part. There isn't though. There just isn't.
"I can't let it go and I know for a fact it isn't something you could understand."
"Oh, well if you know it for a fact," he says dryly leaning back with his arms straightened behind him, palms planted on the floor. "I didn't realize you had become an expert on me."
"That wasn't how I meant it."
"I know."
Ra, when did he become an expert on me?
"So enlighten me then."
I give him a dubious look, suspicions roused only a tad.
"Since when do you care to listen to other people's woes?"
"Honestly? I avoid it when at all possible." His lips quirk at the aggravated glare this statement earns him. "Way I see it, why not? We're at a bit of an impasse at the moment and I'm not exactly in the mood to turn on my phone and hear about what or who is currently pissing Kaiba off." Tapping the toe of his polished black shoe on the floor he says, "Up to you. If you don't feel like complaining then you had better be working out how you're going to try to get out of here next before I'm bored to death."
We lapse into silence. I don't know where to begin, how to explain these bottled up emotions threatening to explode from deep within me. There is only one other person I know for a fact has felt as I do and I would never say anything like this to him. Not anymore.
"Since you're feeling so talkative, allow me to interject for a moment," Otogi says sardonically and I scoot my body around on the transparent floor so I'm facing him. "Just something I've wondered: When you remembered, you didn't go back to your name. In fact, I distinctly remember you telling your friends not to call you by it on the flight home."
I grimace, wishing I had my back to him so he wouldn't have seen my immediate reaction. He sees my unease but doesn't turn away, doesn't give me privacy while I regain my composure. Green eyes hold me tight, keep me from getting up and running again. I'm really tired of evading. It's exhausting to constantly be on guard, always listening for a double meaning behind a question or a comment; always making sure to project a positive, strong front.
"That isn't who I am anymore. I wanted to separate myself as much as possible from who I was and what I did."
"Avoidance. Nice."
"I know it was stupid to assume I could do that. It was just too much coming at me at once." I close my eyes and say what my main regret has been in these present times: "I waited too long. I lost him because I waited too long to recover from the shock."
I'm freed from Otogi's speculation momentarily when he rolls his eyes.
"Fuck that. He was trying to kill you before you remembered who he was. I'd say he was sending some pretty clear messages about his own sentiments."
I shake my head, staring right back at the dice master.
"No. Something shifted. I saw it when I remembered. He looked at me differently. He stopped trying to kill me."
"Wasn't running up and giving you tongue either."
Despite the rather vulgar remark, he has a point. It doesn't change the aching as this regret eats away at my insides. It doesn't make me miss my ruby-eyed lover any less. Those last words I ever said to him…How much did he hear after that? Was he aware of anything? Could he still sense me? Why did I have to forget everything? Magic was never my forte. Was it my mistake?
"I ruined everything," I whisper, no longer speaking to the dice master. He just happens to be sitting before me. Holding my palm to my forehead, I release it: "The sole reason I sealed myself away is moot."
"Stop being the gallant victim. It's annoying."
I exhale through my nose and close my lips tight. I was right. He cannot fathom what I feel. It isn't his fault. This is just something beyond anything he has experienced in his meager seventeen years. He doesn't know how lucky he is in that respect. The dice master has realized I'm done and not going to elaborate. As he does on the rare occasion, Otogi doesn't push. By the grace of some deity that has not completely abandoned me, the teen has decided we have both had enough for tonight. In unison we rise to our feet, Otogi dusting imaginary dirt from his black pants. As I stand my fingers go to my chest to support the puzzle's weight, fingers curling into themselves when they meet the fabric of my shirt. His emerald eyes catch this movement but he pretends not to notice.
"Well, thanks for…whatever this was, I guess."
"Whatever. I'm not sure assisting you face-plant three times warrants much thanks, but I'll take it." He angles his head to one side and his neck cracks lightly, noting my mood as not eased. "There are some things that can't be fixed, Yami. More than that, there are some things that, once broken, should not be fixed."
"I tend to be the fixer type, right?" I say with a somber chuckle at my own expense.
"Far too often. How about giving it a rest now that evil Kaiba Corp. and yours truly have backed off from Katsuya?"
It sounds refreshing. That's exactly what I wanted Yugi to understand but I failed in explaining myself. All I did was hurt my hikari's feelings. My patience and temper have not been faring well lately. It is an actual possibility now that Jounouchi knows the truth about Otogi and Kaiba.
"I guess I'll have to," I mumble, as we glance around us. "Everyone else is safe…except for Bakura." I don't miss the querying look he sends me. "I suppose it's best I let the others handle that."
"Smartest thing you've said all evening," Otogi mutters.
A weight has been lifted somewhat. It isn't gone, but isn't mine alone to bear anymore. Otogi has emphasized repeatedly that it wasn't mine alone in the first place. I knew that. My role in all of this is a difficult one to accept. Is taking a back seat and let someone else figure things out going to be any easier for me? It would be safer if I leave Ryou and Jou to handle things.
But what if they can't?
"You're thinking too hard again."
"I am not," I retort, reaching into my pocket and finding my phone intact despite the repeated falls.
Otogi crosses his arms over his chest. "And now you are…?"
"I'm calling Yugi."
"Are you kidding? After what you just said...?"
"We didn't part on the best of terms earlier. I just want to let him know I'm on the way home." As the phone turns on, I narrow my eyes. "We are going home now, right?"
The teen smirks but eyes me almost warily.
"That's up to you. Are you going to try the long way 'round again or can we get the heck out of here?"
Y'know, I think this is my third fic where a character has been afraid of water. Although, in the other two it was Bakura
Bakura: Thank Ra I finally catch a break!...Oh wait, you gave me serious ISSUES in this story!
I almost went to a cliffhanger-basically the actual phone call. Considering what happened last chapter with Ryou, Anzu, and Yugi, you can imagine how that goes. So this was a difficult chapter to piece together. Originally it was entirely the past. But it was jumping back and forth between Bakura and Atem so much and passes over such a time frame that it just didn't work. Having gone back over the last few chapters, I decided it was time to bring Yami and Otogi back into the mix. There are several characters that need epiphanies: one of them is Yami. Actually, many of them require multiple epiphanies.
I do have a lot more written up already. As I said before, it's all about getting everything in the right order. I cut out a TON of scenes from this chapter. Before I even wrote this last POV for the chapter I was on page fifty-something. So yeah, things got cut. Some of them will be appearing in other chapters, some not at all.
IMPORTANT: Ferris isn't one to beg, but I really would love to hear from more of you. (I see the stats. I know you're there. *cackles*) As we're reaching the climaxes of the stories, past and present, any input, thoughts, observations and opinions would be most helpful. Helps me see if there's anything I need to tweak or add (or subtract) I reply to all reviews via the private messaging now. If you're anonymous, I'll reply in the beginning of the next chapter.
