A.n.

It's my story so all you haters can go some place else, ya'hear? Pov Neku

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Laying my head on my arms I set it slightly to the side looking over at him through my blue eyes. Why did you decide to come over and help after all this time? My arms still feel itchy from all the medicine and bandages you put on to cover my bloody arms.Why did you not let me just die? Shutting my eyes for a bit I listen as you make something in my tiny kitchen. I don't even think there is a whole lot of food in there, I haven't had anything in three days because of you...Josh.

"Neku, here eat this. You need more food in you and lots of water as well." Blinking my eyes back open I stare up at you a little startled. It seems like there is some sort of soup in the bowl. "It's ramen, take it, I'll get some juice from my room and maybe some more stuff." Moving over to the door I watch as you open it waiting for you to leave before I dump this down the sink. But you seem to read my mind almost and come back over to brush my bangs from my head. "You move off that couch I'm going to jump you Nekky. So stay I'll be right back." A kiss is placed on my forehead and I can feel a blush coming over my face. Then Josh leaves as I nurse the hot bowl in my hands and I stare a little at the shut door.

Why is he doing this I thought he hated me...and some tears come to my eyes but I wipe them away. Turning in my position on the couch, I look at my tv deciding to turn it on for some noise as I place the bowl in my lap for now. I don't like the silence, it seems to want to kill me a little by worming its way painfully back into my heart.

Picking up the remote it feels a little heavy in my hand and I grip it as I press the power button. A light gasp comes from my mouth as the muscles in my arm spasm and makes me feel a bit of pain from my many cuts. That feels so good, and yet horrible at the same time.

The click of my door handle turning has me looking back over at it and Joshua comes back in with his arms laden with some things and a backpack over his shoulder. Briefly his violet eyes catch mine before I drop them back to my bowl of ramen. Lifting the spoon I take a small sip of the broth not really wanting to touch the noodles for now.

My stomach seems to rumble a little begging for more; I can feel my blood under my bandage just wanting to spill out, and my left hand skimps a little over the corner of it, wanting the same.

I keep my eyes shut savoring the flavor over my tongue missing the taste of ramen. It used to be my most favorite of dishes. My ears pick up on the slightest of steps, even over the television and I hear as Josh sits down next to me. "There, I'll ask the administrators tomorrow if I can just move in with you. Your place is so much bigger than mine." He grins, a hand going around my shoulder as Josh leans closer to me.

Side glancing over I finally seem to be able to talk. "...why?" I whimper out the water works finally starting to spill over making my vision all blurry. "Why are you here, why didn't you let me die, what do you want from me?! I fucking told you my feelings and you already let me know you didn't want me. I don't...I don't want to be made a fool of...so why?" I let out all the anger I feel, then I pick the bowl up and place it on the table. Before I can get all the way up though Joshua pulls me back, hugging me all around.

"You're not a fool Neku, no never have I thought so. And I was astonished when a few days ago you confessed your feelings to me that I...I just didn't know what to do. Then you ran off before I could confirm them back. I was going to tell you the day after but you didn't show up to classes. Or the day after and I got worried." His hold on my got tighter and I tried to quiet my sobs a little as I was left pressed against his chest. "Don't ever cut again Neku, I was scared that you were dead when I came over here. Good thing I'm learning to be a nurse right?"

"Yeah.." I whisper back letting my arms come around him as it seems like he isn't letting go any time soon. I like being hugged it is so wonderful. "So what does that all mean...?"

"That I want to date you and be there for you Neku." Joshua confirms my suspensions for me and I push away to look at his face. It's all serious with some cute humorous accents to it.

"Really?"

"Yes really." Josh agrees then kisses me. The kiss is so light and brief that I can hardly wait for more. My eyes close during it not wanting him to end it but continue.

I'm the first to let go for breath which sucks,but I hear him come next to me whispering in my ear. "I've loved you Neku since middle school and I never thought I would ever get you with me. I love you." And Josh kissed my neck under my ear sending shivers down my back.

"I've loved you since I ever laid eyes on you...and still have even when my mom told me two boys should love each other." Pausing I allow my body to enjoy the slight pleasure your lips were bringing to me. "I would like to be your boyfriend."

"Then boyfriend you are and forever be if we can." And his nose comes over to wiggle against mine. "Kay?"

"Kay." I grin sealing our lips together thinking about hiding my blades from him probably in the future...if I need them that is.

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A.N.

Okay so sorry that I haven't updated in forever. So much has been happening to me and I guess this chapter can sort of explain my feelings, right?

Lol I. O. Heaven I wish I had gay friends. I mean I don't even know who is gay in my school or else I would be friends with them and be happier than I am currently. *le sigh*

And DrenDrenDren, you're so sweet I wish you and I lived closer and were friends.

...I want friends, period end of discussion. Yet I never get any...so oh also I need to tell you guys that I have gotten a little out of touch with my twewy mood. A little I say and yet y'all get another chapter don't you? So I might just start making more chapters on all of my kh stuff or not. Maybe new ideas, I do think I will start moving the stories in here that I like the most into so chaptered fics like I already have the Hybrid so fair. So...can I have some love, and everybody can share some apple juice with me?