AN: Sorry about last chapter everyone. xD I didn't think it would make so many of you cry. But I hope this chapter begins to make up for it. ^^
I'm also currently trying to reply to reviews. Yesterday was stressful as hell, and everything just slipped my mind. So I'm trying to get onto that as fast as I can. ^^
Hope ya'll enjoy.
Big thank you to EienNi and Disgruntled Minion for Betaing and helping with the edit.
Chapter Forty-Nine
By: Akiru chan and Disgruntled Minion
The tick tock of the clock accompanied with the persistent tapping of a pen on wood filled the room. Tanaka shifted behind his desk, back straight and looking calm and collected. It was only the twitch of Tanaka's wrist as he fiddled with his pen that showed the man's true anxiety. His eyes were heavy and he felt far more tired than he let on. Every inch of his body screamed for rest and relaxation, but it wasn't something he would allow for himself at the moment.
Instead he settled an even look on the woman and man seated before him. Doll sat in a wing back chair, a white sun dress covering her slim frame, making her look far more like the little girl she had once been. Tanaka couldn't see her as a strong head of family that she now needed to be, but he did not voice his doubts.
"What offer would you like to lay upon the table?" Tanaka asked after a moment, the pen finally ceasing its tapping.
Doll shifted slightly and crossed her legs at her ankles before focusing on Tanaka. "Information," she answered confidently. "We know where the rest of Joker's gang is. We've been tracking them since they left our group and we know the way they move. We also know how they act and can tell you the best ways to take them out."
For now, it was the best she could offer. They both knew how weak the gang currently was and offering to help destroy Joker's gang was counterproductive. They would only get in the way and cause more causalities. It wasn't much to offer, but in a situation like this, you couldn't play all your cards right away.
"I would also appreciate it if our families continued being allies. Your father was a good friend, and I expand my friendship now to you." It was better for everyone that they kept on good terms. Being two of the biggest families in Europe, it would only make things harder for one another if they began competing. Tanaka was offering some peace and help if it was ever needed, and he would not turn away help from the Kelvin family if needed.
Doll nodded, pleased with the offer. As of now, her family was weak despite their strength and she couldn't ask such a thing of Tanaka. It had to be offered to her first. "I appreciate the offer very much," she answered honestly. "As future allies, I would like you to also be informed about the contents of the will, especially after it caused so much trouble for you as well."
Tanaka looked equally as pleased and slid the ring box across the table. "I would really like that," he said, and sat back into his chair looking far more relaxed. Even a small smile managed to slip onto his face. This wasn't an offer he had been expecting but he was most curious over what was hidden inside this ring that caused such a disaster.
"I will allow you to take the ring for now. You may review the info it holds and decide if there is anything that you feel uncomfortable with sharing with us." It was an offer given in good faith. Tanaka knew that perhaps the contents of the ring might be far more personal than either individual considered, and if so then Tanaka had no right to ask for such information.
"Thank you," Doll answered and reached for the ring. It was splattered with dried blood but she couldn't bring herself to wipe it away in Tanaka's presence. Instead, she tucked it away in her pocket for safe keeping. "Do you know how your members are doing?" She asked instead, knowing that Tanaka's mind was probably on them even as they spoke.
Tanaka's face darkened, before going blank. "They're in surgery now," he said slowly. "They were able to stabilize Ciel and had to rush him to surgery. I haven't been given word since he was taken away, and Sebastian was awake last time I saw him. He'll pull through." Sebastian was a fighter, Tanaka knew that well enough. It was Ciel that Tanaka was unsure of. The boy was stubborn, but it seemed as if this time around he had been hellbent on dying alongside Sebastian. Tanaka could only hope that Ciel could sense that Sebastian was every bit alive.
Doll hummed in agreement. She had been out in the halls when Ciel was rushed upstairs to the infirmary. The screams that had left Sebastian's mouth upon seeing the younger male had caused shivers to race up her spine and she sympathized with the man. If she was correct, Sebastian would be heading into surgery soon, since his had been delayed due to Ciel's arrival. They'd had to sedate Sebastian again halfway through Ciel's operation, as the older male kept trying to get out of bed to see Ciel.
Fever had set in again from the infection and Doll had only caught a glimpse of Sebastian from the hallway. Sweat had been dripping down his face and when she first saw him, she thought the male had been crying. Even now, she was unsure if the liquid was tears or sweat.
One glance at the clock on the wall and Tanaka was standing. "You're probably tired," he said as he rounded the desk. "I'll have two rooms prepared for you and you're more than welcome to relax until you are ready to leave." He didn't wish to rush Doll off, but there were more pressing matters at the moment.
"Thank you," Doll answered and stood up as well. Her body was tired and there was no need to keep Tanaka waiting when he had his own matters to attend to. She inclined her head slightly to the man before turning around and leaving the room. She had her own matters to attend to and the ring weighed heavily in her pocket. They were both curious to see what the documents said and once morning came, she would be ready to give Tanaka her findings.
Tanaka followed her out, waving down Grell who was standing at the end of the hall. "Take them to the guest rooms and ready two of them," he ordered and left the trio with a polite nod. All he wanted was to be back downstairs and waiting alongside everyone else as they awaited the doctor's news. So far his phone had been quiet, and Tanaka had made it a point to check the device at least once every ten minutes. It was quickly becoming an anxious habit.
The stairs were taken two at a time, and he met the solemn group as he turned the corner. The Undertaker seemed to be off in his own word, smiling despite the situation. Alois and Claude were together, the younger man on his lap as they whispered to once another. It was an intimate sight, and Tanaka turned away. Ronald had shown up while Tanaka had been away. He was currently hearing the story of what had happened from Finny, getting added details from Mey-rin. Carmella was also among the small gathering. She was sitting alone, looking blank and pale with worry. It wasn't every day that a casualty attracted so many people to come together. Ciel and Sebastian really had acquired a following.
"Tanaka," Carmella called softly, drawing everyone's attention to the older male. They all bowed their heads at him before looking up at him with solemn eyes, searching for something that could give them good news. The minutes had ticked on too long without any word from the doctors and the closed off room was silent after Sebastian had been sedated. And they could only imagine how horrible they would sound if Ciel didn't make it through the surgery.
The old man only nodded and took his seat amongst the group. He was as clueless as they were, and there was little more that he could do but wait. They all looked to him, waiting for something he did not have. Tanaka remained silent, giving them nothing.
Slowly, one by one they went back to what they were doing, worrying in their own unique ways. Finny was the only one who continued to watch Tanaka with careful eyes. He shifted closer until Tanaka was forced to give him his attention. "Yes?" He asked and watched as Finny fidgeted nervously.
"They'll both be okay, you know. We wouldn't have been given such a blessing in Ciel if he wasn't meant to live," Finny assured, trying to calm his own nerves in the process.
Carmella nodded, silently agreeing with Finny. They were both strong and she had no doubt that they would make it through such an ordeal. They still had too many things left to do and knowing Ciel and Sebastian, they wouldn't want to pass on without having the chance to do such things.
"And when they come to, they'll go right back to annoying us," Claude answered and Alois bobbed his head. "You know how those two get."
"Everything annoys you." Ron added, sweeping his arm up to rest it on the shoulders of a blushing Mey-rin. "Although I do have to agree that they did the best job of it."
A chorus of giggles and laughter was passed around before everyone quickly sobered. It felt wrong to express any form of happy emotion at the moment. Everything was made all the worse by the look Tanaka was giving to the floor. No one wanted that gaze upon themselves.
The older man sighed heavily but remained silent with his words. It seemed as though he couldn't find the right ones to say and it was only now that he wished to be free of the burden of leadership. To be able to pace and act impatient as they waited for news, or just to express feelings. They were things he wasn't allowed to do in public and it felt wrong not to do so now.
A click of the doorknob had everyone rising from their seats as Will slipped past the door. He looked tired and a little annoyed but nothing more could be assessed from his expression alone. The whole room was waiting with baited breath as Will contented himself with drying off his hands in a small towel. Something that looked like blood clung to the front of the scrubs he had hastily put on. They might not have been in an actual hospital but Will had done a thorough job of keeping it as efficient and able as one.
Will looked up suddenly as if only then realizing the audience he had. "I don't think they deserve this large of a gathering," he grumbled under his breath and pocketed his towel.
"William," Tanaka spoke quietly, the calm in his voice not giving away how anxious he was. Everyone in the room was waiting for an answer and he was no exception. More than anything, he needed to know the outcome of the situation. Especially since he considered himself partly responsible.
Will sighed and pushed up his glasses. "Sebastian just came out of surgery. His arm has been set in a cast and it will take a while to heal, along with some physical therapy classes to help strengthen it. His wounds were flushed out, cleaned, and stitched up. Infection had set in but he's on antibiotics and he should pull through without a problem."
"What about Ciel?" Finny asked softly. Out of the two of them, Ciel had been the closest to death.
"His heart stopped beating right before the surgery, but we were able to get it started again before the lack of oxygen caused any damage to his body," Will stated. "The two gunshot wounds were taken care of and he's been given blood, along with fluids. He's weak now, but we're confident that he'll make it through the night as well."
"No lasting damage?" Claude asked, asking more in interest of Sebastian's health than with Ciel's, but he cared just a little about Ciel as well. He'd rather have Ciel as heir than anyone else, he supposed.
Will frowned. "Sebastian's muscles can be rebuilt with therapy and his arm might ache some when the seasons change, but that should be it. We'll monitor him as time goes." He paused and glanced back at the room where Ciel and Sebastian were resting. "The gunshot wound to Ciel's hip will cause him the most damage. We were lucky it didn't hit the bone, but merely grazed the top part of it. He'll be in pain for a while but it's better than having the bone shattered. He'll have to undergo therapy as well so he can build up the strength in that leg so he doesn't develop a limp."
It wasn't the sparkling all good news that everyone wanted to hear, but it was good enough to know that both Sebastian and Ciel would live and have a future for themselves. Finny sprouted a smile, truly happy that they had seemed to have such great fortune. "So they'll be fine?" He had to ask, wanting to know once more for sure.
"They'll be fine," Will answered, looking far less pleased than anyone else in the room. Sebastian and Ciel would live another day to make his life miserable. He grumbled under his breath and moved down the hall past the group. "You can go see them, but only three at a time. They're still asleep, but I don't want you waking them up before they should." And Will was gone, leaving Sebastian and Ciel in the hands of his assistants.
Tanaka stood up and moved to the door. He had every right to be the first person to see them and no one was going to argue the point. Finny and Claude trailed after him silently, not wanting to draw his wrath as they were also to blame for this mess.
"Be on your best behavior," Tanaka stated, directing his comment to Finny who was the most likely to start bawling as soon as he saw the pair.
Finny nodded eagerly, craning his neck around Tanaka to try and get the first relieving glance. He was pulled back by Claude and given a firm look. They moved into the room side by side, Tanaka many steps ahead of them. For now they would give the man his time to be with Sebastian and Ciel. He deserved as much, and Claude and Finny would wait until it was appropriate timing for them to move closer.
Tanaka moved in between the beds, glancing first at Ciel and then at Sebastian. "You two are foolish idiots," he hissed, taking in the battered bodies. "You don't listen, you don't wait, and you can't control your damn libidos. I have every right to separate you two from now on, but I know that would cause more trouble in the end."
A sigh left his mouth and his shoulders slumped. "I'm just glad you two are back. It wouldn't have been the same without either of you." He ran a hand over his face, wiping away any emotions. "But don't think this means you're not in trouble still." The tone was meant to be harsh, but it came out soft as Tanaka couldn't find it in himself to stay mad at them for now.
Sebastian and Ciel slept on unknowing to Tanaka's words. It would be later that they got a generous dose of Tanaka's feelings on the matter once they were awake and in better shape then they were now. For now they were in an ignorant bliss, free of pain, and free of worry.
Giving a small nod, Tanaka moved away from the beds. He was content in knowing and seeing that both Sebastian and Ciel were doing fine. Now he could rest and put his mind at ease for the rest of the night. "Go ahead and see them," he said to Claude and Finny as he approached them.
They both nodded and watched as Tanaka made his leave. Finny stayed frozen for a moment, feeling intimidated and not yet wanting to move closer to the bed. A shove to his back had Finny stumbling forward. He would have fallen if Claude hadn't caught him and righted him.
"Sorry," Finny whispered and looked down at the beds in which Ciel and Sebastian laid. They both looked horrible, sickly and pale. Sebastian was slowly regaining a pink flush in his cheeks, but Finny was unsure if he could just blame that on the fever. The heart monitors beeped and calmed Finny's nerves, knowing that there had to be a heartbeat to be showing the jagged lines across the screen. They were surely alive.
Claude moved next to Finny's side, taking in the broken bodies. Battered and broken, but still alive, that much was a blessing and he stepped closer to Sebastian's bed. He hadn't expected to see the man alive again after he left the mansion to deliver the ring. To have him and Ciel back was a relief, especially knowing that Ciel was alive. He reached down and squeezed Sebastian's hand lightly. "He's alive," he murmured to the sleeping man. "So keep fighting so you wake up and see him."
Sebastian didn't answer, but Claude hadn't expected him to. He let go of the limp hand and turned away from the younger male so he could look at Ciel. He still looked pale but the heartbeat was stronger than it had been the first time and Claude could breathe a sigh of relief, knowing that Ciel would make it.
It was sort of surreal to be seeing Ciel alive after having him confirmed dead early that morning. How had things changed so drastically and so wonderfully? Finny remembered the feeling that had coursed through him, a deep ache that felt like nothing else. He had cried so much and yet here he stood, being given back the friend he had thought he had lost.
Finny didn't say much, not knowing what he could say. So much as a single utterance or a simple touch felt as if it could break Ciel or Sebastian. He didn't want to end up changing the ties. Finny still feared that he would wake up to find this all a dream.
Seeing that Finny wasn't going to be saying anything, Claude tugged lightly at his arm. "Come on, let's let them rest for now. Watching them like this isn't going to wake them up any quicker and we should give them their peace."
With a slow nod, Finny allowed himself to be steered out of the room. He glanced back quickly to get one last look at Sebastian and Ciel before they were out of sight. The knowledge that he would see them again soon calmed him, and he hoped that next time, he'd be able to see their laughing faces as well.
An annoying beeping sound was the thing to reach Sebastian's ears as he slowly woke up. It was a constant noise that pulsed in his ears and quickly formed a headache. His whole body ached and the sound was hurting his sensitive ears. He shifted slightly in the bed, only to groan when the pain raced through his body, feeling as though he had been run over by a truck, and his head felt thick and fuzzy.
His arm was heavy and to Sebastian's annoyance, he could feel the catheter that was attached to his penis. A scowl formed across his lips; he hated the catheter. It was embarrassing and he wondered how long it would be until he could take it out. Hopefully soon or Sebastian would have someone's head.
The noise continued, steady and strong until Sebastian couldn't stand it anymore and his eyes opened. They shut again as white light blinded him and tears wet his eyes at the harshness of it. Slowly, they blinked open until his eyes were able to adjust to the light, and he was able to look at his surroundings.
The past day instantly came back to him as he took in the hospital like setting around him, and his heart started to race. Ciel. Sebastian had last seen the younger male being rushed into surgery and had heard the monitor flat line before he had passed out. What had happened after that was a blur. He remembered screaming for Ciel when he woke up again while Claude tried to restrain him once more. Will was there with a needle and Sebastian could only guess that he had been sedated again before nothing came to mind after that.
But Sebastian still didn't know whether or not Ciel made it through the surgery, and Sebastian's fingers curled into a fist. He needed to know, needed to find the younger male so he wasn't alone. He struggled to sit up, the cast on his arm hindering the movement more than anything and all too soon, Sebastian was a panting mess, forced to collapse back on the bed.
A low whine left his throat as desperation clawed at him. Every fiber of his being wanted to see Ciel, and his eyes darted around the room, searching for something that could help him get out of bed. They froze, though, when they landed on the bed next to him and Sebastian sucked in a deep breath.
Ashen black hair spread out on the white pillow and the blankets moved up and down in a steady beat that Sebastian found himself matching. IV's dripped into pale skin, providing fluids and blood to the younger male while machines beeped out constant information.
"Ciel," Sebastian breathed and craned his neck to see if the younger male was awake.
Ciel didn't even flinch to indicate that he had heard Sebastian. He was still under the influence of post surgery and medication to be aware of the man one bed over. The waking world was still lost to Ciel, but the beginning fibers of consciousness were slowly being brought together. Ciel's eyebrows twitched and then furrowed. The pain of surgery was becoming the catalyst to Ciel's waking. It would still be a moment or two, but Ciel was slowly coming to despite his body's need for more rest.
Sebastian shifted in the bed again, trying to find the energy to sit up. His body screamed at him that he shouldn't, but he wanted to be next to Ciel, needed to see and feel for himself that the younger male was still alive. With a low groan, he pulled himself up, his stomach muscles protesting as the skin stretched and stitches threatened to tear. The monitor next to him was beeping faster and louder now, and Will would no doubt be in the room any moment now.
The door burst open the moment Sebastian pulled himself up into a sitting position, and he heard Will yell his name. Sebastian glared at the man as he rushed over to the bed, trying to stop him from leaving. "Don't touch me, Will," he croaked, throat dry.
"You idiot," Will hissed. "You're tearing out your stitches. Ciel's not awake yet and probably won't be for a while. You can help him by stop hurting yourself in an attempt to see him."
Sebastian shook his head. "I want to be closer to him," he protested and glanced over at Ciel, making sure that the younger male was still all right.
Will cursed under his breath and leveled both Sebastian and the sleeping Ciel with a nasty glare. Truth that the moment Sebastian woke up he would be making Will's life miserable once more. He was very tempted to sedate Sebastian once more or merely tie the man to the bed. Instead he decided to go with an option that would save him further headaches.
Swiftly, Will moved around to the other side of the bed, before Sebastian could protest further, and began to slide the bed closer to Ciel's It seemed to weigh a ton, and Will toyed with the idea of suggesting Sebastian going on a diet, but he wanted this done and over with sooner rather than later. The machines were resituated and Will backed up to look at his handiwork.
"Will you stay in bed and relax now?" He bit out.
Sebastian glanced at the touching beds before turning to Will and nodded. "This will work just fine. Thank you." He reached over and grabbed Ciel's hand through the bars that kept them from rolling off the bed. The touch was familiar, and Sebastian squeezed it gently, glad that he could finally hold Ciel again, and know that he was alive.
Will wasn't softened by the show of affection and he merely frowned all the more. "I have Grell acting as nurse. He'll be coming in soon to check you over." He turned to leave, but stopped short of the door. "Stay in bed. One stitch out of place and you'll regret it." Will warned and left.
Sebastian ignored the man, too focused on the contact he had with Ciel. His thumb stroked over the soft skin, feeling the warmth in Ciel's hand and the pulse that told Sebastian that Ciel was still alive. He wanted to hold him more, but the vast amount of IV lines made it impossible and Sebastian didn't want to injure Ciel by pulling one out. For now, he would be content with this.
He stretched over the bed until his stomach muscles protested and pressed a soft kiss on Ciel's temple. "I love you," he whispered and pulled back slowly, allowing his fingers to lace through Ciel's once more.
A low groan left Ciel, and his fingers moved beneath Sebastian's hand. He was vaguely aware of being touched, hand being held in a warm grip. Ciel didn't want to open his eyes, not when his body felt stiff and every part of him ached. He moaned as he tried to remember what had happened to cause him to be in such a state, but his medicated mind supplied him with very little at the moment.
It was only after a small battle that his eyes finally opened, blue eye looking more grey in the dim light. Only, Ciel realized, it was one eye in which he was looking out of. His right eye was nothing but a black blur. Try as he might he could not open it, the action only causing a searing pain to jolt within Ciel's head. He gasped, and his eye fell closed once more.
"What happened?" He asked to no one, not expecting any divine answer.
"You were stupid," Sebastian answered softly. "You came back to rescue me even though I told you not to." He squeezed the hand again, glad to see that Ciel was awake. He wouldn't tell Ciel how close to death they had been; Ciel didn't need to know that.
Ciel's eyes snapped open, and he slowly turned his head to the side. "Sebastian?" He asked as if he didn't quite believe it. The man's words soaked in and fuzzy memories came to the surface, bits and pieces of the horrors that they had both faced.
"You're alive?" Ciel did remember the bombs, being shot, and then nothing. Somehow it felt as if they shouldn't be lying here right now, talking to one another. They shouldn't be alive, yet Ciel was ecstatically happy to find that wasn't the case. It hurt, but Ciel smiled.
"We're both alive," Sebastian corrected and reached up to stroke Ciel's face. "I'm sure Tanaka will have our heads, but we're still alive and we have each other. Don't you ever scare me like that again."
Seeing Ciel that close to death had scared Sebastian in a way that he had never thought possible. To feel that sort of terror due to the thought of losing someone was something he had never experienced before, and it was something Sebastian didn't want to repeat ever again.
"I can see that," Ciel laughed, but stopped short, his mouth dry and throat sore. "I feel like shit." There was a deep frown on his face as he took notice of the exact state of his body. He felt heavy as if he had been unmoving for far too long. It took all of his strength to raise his arm and tenderly touch the new bandages covering his ruined eye. His opposite shoulder burned with the effort it took, but it was dull in comparison to the stabbing pain of his hip. Suddenly he wished he could go back to sleep.
"You'll feel that way for a while," Sebastian answered. "It'll fade with time though, and soon you'll have a scar that has a story to tell." He glanced down at his own broken arm, knowing that it would ache at times when the weather changed and he'd have to build up his muscles again. But all things considering, he was lucky.
The mental trauma, though, would be different. It would linger longer than the physical problems and would be harder to treat. But he knew that if he woke screaming in the middle of the night, someone would be there, and that made things better.
Ciel hummed and closed his eye. "Just what I need, more scars." He could just imagine how they would look, raised pale lines marring his skin, the worst of all the disfigurement of his face. Ciel didn't even what to think of how badly the gash across his eye would scar. Surely he would no longer look like the Ciel that Sebastian had fallen in love with. The thought that Sebastian might find him unsightly was unsettling, but Ciel did not allow himself to worry over such things at the moment. Not when he did not know how well it would heal.
"Scars can be sexy," Sebastian said softly, thinking of his own and how many littered his body.
A crack of blue could be seen as Ciel opened his eye just wide enough to look at Sebastian. "I don't think you have much of a choice but to find them sexy now," he said after a moment. "If not, then I think it'll make things a little difficult for us." It was meant to be said in a teasing tone, but there was a stiffness to Ciel's tone that spoke of more than just a playful jest.
Sebastian squeezed Ciel's hand. "Don't think like that. I love you no less, no matter what's going on inside that little head of yours." He glanced up as the door opened, Grell appearing in his line of sight and looking happy to see them awake. Sebastian gave the hand another small squeeze. "I love you, no matter what," he stated firmly.
"Well, I suppose it's good to see you up," Grell said more to Sebastian than to Ciel. He wore a smile as he went straight to work, checking over Sebastian's vitals and scribbling some stuff on a clipboard. "Is the pain tolerable?" At the moment, Will had instructed Grell not to administer pain medication unless it was absolutely needed. No need to keep the two of them under the influence of meds when it wasn't needed. For now it would be better if they stayed aware.
"It's livable," Sebastian answered and looked over at Ciel. "But Ciel's are more serious and you should probably be checking over him first," he said with a smile. Ciel had already mentioned that he was in pain and Sebastian didn't want the younger male suffering anymore than he already had.
Ciel's cheeks puffed and he gave Sebastian an annoyed look. "I'm fine. They just hurt if I move too much." It wasn't far from the truth. There was only a dull throb that pulsed through Ciel's body at a constant level. For now he could stand it.
"See, he's fine," Grell commented, moving over to check Ciel over just as he had Sebastian, although his bedside manner seemed to have dropped to nonexistent. Ciel's current health was written down and Grell moved back to Sebastian, looking irritatingly pleased about something. "I'm going to go check in with Will, and then I'll be back to remove that catheter."
Sebastian paled slightly at the thought of Grell handling the catheter. "I think it's a little too soon to take it out," he stated. "Will told me that I can't get out of the bed yet, and I'd rather not wet the bed because you took it out early." There was no way he was going to let Grell touch his penis or come anywhere near it.
Grell seemed to deflate just a bit. "Well then I suppose we shall have to wait." He batted his eye lashes, and looked far too excited at the idea.
It was Ciel who spoke up this time, not liking where this conversation was quickly headed. "I do hope that we include Sebastian and myself, minus you," he said, tone dry.
Grell huffed and glared at Ciel. "I highly doubt that you know how to properly remove a catheter without causing damage to the penis. It's a tricky device that you don't know how to use, and I'm sure you've never gone far enough in your sexual escapades to try sounding."
Sebastian sighed and waved Grell away, not in the mood to deal with the man. His head was already starting to hurt once more, and he simply wanted more alone time with Ciel.
"I wasn't suggesting myself for the job," Ciel mumbled under his breath as Grell stalked out of the room in a huff. Once the man was gone, Ciel returned his attention back to Sebastian and gave him a curious look. "Sounding?" He asked, looking perplexed.
"A form of sexual pleasure," Sebastian answered as he lowered himself back onto the pillow and sighed in relief as his body relaxed on the bed once more. "Where something thin is inserted into the tip of your penis to stimulate the prostate."
Ciel squirmed in his bed at the thought, finally becoming aware of his own catheter for the first time. He blushed, and realized that he definitely did not find the idea of sounding to be pleasant. "We are scratching that off of our sexual to-do list," he said, feeling more aware and awake than he had been feeling previously.
Sebastian chuckled. "It's not as bad as it sounds," he stated and let his eyes close as he pushed any thoughts of sexual activity away from his mind. Neither of them were in such a position to do something like that.
A small laugh left Ciel. It felt good to talk with Sebastian like this. At one point he had believed that they would never have moments like this again. It made him happy. "You say that as if you've done it before." But Ciel didn't push the subject past that. No matter how normal the situation seemed to become, it still didn't override the fact that Ciel was injured. Having just woken up from the ordeal and surgery he had gone through was slowly catching up with him, and grogginess was beginning its creep into Ciel's consciousness. He yawned and sent Sebastian a lazy smile.
"Sleep," Sebastian cooed. "I'll still be here when you wake up and nothing will happen," he said with certainty. They were safe for now and nothing was going to take Ciel away from him. He brought Ciel's hand to his lips and pressed a soft kiss on the male's knuckles, hoping to calm him some.
"You better be." Ciel yawn again, eyes drooping. "I'd hate to have to chase you down again." He squeezed Sebastian's hand, being reassured that the man was so close to him now, even after how far they had been previously. It was a wonder that they had made it through everything they had endured. Ciel still didn't know how they survived the bombs, but now was not the time to ask that. If he had learned anything in this moment, it was just how easily their lives could change and end. They had come so close to death that Ciel now feared it all the more. His hand gripped tighter onto Sebastian and he tried to clear away such thoughts for the time being.
Sebastian ran his thumb over Ciel's hand as the younger male gripped his own in a tight hold. The heart monitor started to beat faster, showing that Ciel was thinking of something that was making him worried, and Sebastian shifted closer to the edge of the bed, trying to provide support. "It'll be fine, Ciel," he murmured. "Don't think about it."
Ciel blinked a tired eye open. "Do you really know that?" He asked, voice strained. He didn't want to think about all of this now. Not when he had been so happy to be with Sebastian once more, but it just wouldn't leave his mind. It stayed no matter how hard he willed it away.
A frown settled over Sebastian's face. No, he didn't really know that but now wasn't the time to be talking about such things. "Later," he said finally. "We'll talk about this later. You need to sleep for now and know that I'll still be here when you wake up."
"Promise?" Ciel asked, grabbing onto Sebastian all the tighter. He was sure he was probably hurting Sebastian, but he couldn't bring himself to let him go.
"I promise," Sebastian answered. Even if he had to stay awake while Ciel slept, watching over the younger male, he would. "I won't let go of your hand and I won't leave."
"I'll kill you myself if you do," Ciel threatened as his eyes finally closed once more and he sunk deeper into his pillows and bedding. It felt so warm and comforting despite the pain, and Ciel tried to allow himself to relax and give into sleep. Sebastian would be there when he woke, and the sooner he fell into the bliss of sleep, the sooner he would then be waking to find Sebastian just the way he had left him. Finally after many moments, Ciel gave in to slumber and floated off into pleasant dreams.
Tanaka sighed heavily as he glanced out the window behind him. It was early morning and the sun was just starting to peek through the clouds. After receiving news that Sebastian and Ciel had woken up, Tanaka had been able to sleep soundly that night, knowing that they had pulled through. He didn't want to go and see them right away, deciding to allow the two some time together.
But today he was going to stop by and pay them a visit after he had his meeting with Doll. They still had to discuss what was going to happen with Joker, who was downstairs in a holding cell. Tanaka wanted full rights to torture and kill the man, considering what he had put the family through. But at the same time, Doll had the same rights to have access to the man as he had torn apart Kelvin's family and murdered the man.
Doll was waiting in Tanaka's office when he arrived, this time without Snake by her side. She sat in one of the wing-backed chairs, looking over something on her phone. The device was flipped shut when Tanaka came in, and she stood to greet him properly.
"Tanaka," Doll said, and held out a hand to him.
"Doll," Tanaka answered and they shook hands briefly. He moved around to sit behind his desk and regarded her carefully. "We still have somethings to sort out before we can truly put this behind us. I know what I would like to do with Joker, but he's also caused you grief."
The issue of Joker was something Doll had mulled over herself for sometime now. She and Snake had different opinions on the matter, hence his absence now. There had been enough blood shed within her family at the moment, and she didn't wish to bring more home with her. She had made her decision, but was curious to know what Tanaka had planned for the man.
"And what would you like to do with him?" She asked, looking truly intrigued.
"The specifics are probably something you wouldn't care for," Tanaka answered. "But eventually we would kill him." The answer was blunt and honest as this was something that Tanaka didn't want to dance around.
Doll nodded, seeming pleased. "He deserves no less. May I ask who would have that honor? My father is dead, he cannot exact his revenge, but you have family who were victims that are very much alive." She did not need to bluntly ask for what she was proposing, since it was already obvious by what she had said thus far.
Tanaka paused and mulled over the question. He wasn't sure himself and knew that it would be either Ciel or Sebastian who would have the final blow. Sebastian would also want to torture the man where Ciel might not be so privy to such a thing. "Ciel," he finally answered. "Sebastian can torture the man as much as he pleases, but Ciel will deliver the final blow."
Seeming satisfied, Doll nodded. "Then I shall leave Joker in your hands, but I only ask that his body be returned to us once you are done with him. He might have been a traitor, but he was still family. We'll give him a proper burial," she said, looking grim at the prospect.
"Of course," Tanaka answered. His eyes softened slightly. "Your father would be proud of you. You've turned into a remarkable young lady and I know your family will grow under your leadership."
"Thank you. I hope to live up to that praise." Doll stood and smiled, holding out her hand once more to shake Tanaka's. "It was a pleasure working with you, but I think it's time I got home. Although I do owe you this." She turned around to grab at a bag that had been sitting inconspicuously on the floor by her chair. A manila envelope was pulled out and passed over to Tanaka. "This is the information we retrieved from the ring. Use it as you will."
Tanaka accepted the envelope and set it down on his desk. It would be looked over in time, after Tanaka had seen to Sebastian and Ciel. "Thank you, Doll." He stood up and circled around the desk. "I'll walk you to the front."
"I'd appreciate that." She allowed herself to be led to the door and down the hall. Snake had been set with the task of packing and pulling the car to the front. He should be there waiting for her now. It was good to be going home.
The car was already waiting out front when they stepped outside and Tanaka shook Doll's hand one last time. "We'll keep in touch," he said simply. There was no need for sappy comments. It was business and would remain as such.
She smiled pleasantly. "I will," Doll said before she moved into the car, and driving off. Tanaka stood waiting as he watched the vehicle drive past the gate and disappear around the bend.
Once it was gone, Tanaka turned and moved back inside the building. Sebastian and Ciel were next on his to-do list and he wasn't sure if he was dreading it or looking forward to it. They were all at fault for what had happened and Tanaka needed to apologize as well as lecture them.
He walked down the hallways and towards the infirmary hall where the smell of cleaning solution hung heavily in the air. The room Ciel and Sebastian were in was quiet, and Tanaka figured they were still asleep but he entered the room anyway.
Tired red eyes greeted him and Tanaka gazed at Sebastian, surprised that Sebastian was still awake. He vaguely noted that the beds had been pushed together and could only guess that Sebastian had caused trouble until he was close enough to Ciel.
"Tanaka, Sir," Sebastian softly, not wanting to wake Ciel.
Tanaka glanced at Ciel, seeing the boy deep in sleep. He had hoped to have both of them awake, but he didn't have the heart to wake Ciel just yet. "How long has he been asleep?" Tanaka asked as he moved quietly closer to the beds, standing next to Sebastian's.
"A while," Sebastian answered, watching Tanaka move. His eyes were cautious and his body on alert in case the older male tried to do something. "He's still tired though. Please don't wake him just yet." Sebastian had been watching Ciel sleep ever since their chat the night before and he refused to sleep until Ciel was awake again and was fine.
A heavy sigh left Tanaka and he pulled up a chair to Sebastian's bed. "He's lucky, you know that right?" Tanaka said slowly. "I was there when he was found. He was very much dead from outward appearances. It was no wonder Claude never felt a pulse, he was already so far gone." He watched across the beds to where Ciel lay, looking much better than the last time Tanaka had seen his grandson. Color had returned to Ciel's cheeks and he was looking healthier. It was such a drastic change from days prior.
Sebastian's eyes lowered. "I know," he whispered. "I thought I had lost him and such a thing should never have happened in the first place. It was foolish of me to let him convince me to do such a thing that allowed him to be caught in the first place. If I hadn't agreed, none of this would've happened. He would've had a better chance and I would've been there to help him." Everything that had happened in the past week, Sebastian blamed on himself; no one else could take the blame and he would accept whatever punishment Tanaka had to give.
"You're right, it was your fault. Yet, Ciel isn't innocent in all of this either. He should have known better as well. I can only hope you have learned something from all of this." Tanaka smirked just a bit, looking up into Sebastian's eyes. "Although I'm afraid I can't leave this at that. You both will be punished, and I still want to talk to you both about this. I won't stand for it happening again."
"I understand," Sebastian said softly. "As Ciel's teacher, I'm still to blame for his actions and will take his punishment in his place." There was no way Sebastian was going to let Tanaka lay a hand on Ciel or even think of doing so. He was already determined not to let anything else happen to Ciel, even if such a threat was coming from within the family.
A stern look was cast in Sebastian's direction. "And that's exactly why Ciel is the way he is. You baby him way too much. You try to shelter him because you don't want him hurt, but that is exactly the thing that is hurting him the most," Tanaka said. "He is a reckless boy, never thinking of the consequences because he had never had to face them until now. Ciel will face his punishment, just as you will face yours."
Sebastian scowled at the light reprimand but didn't bother to argue against Tanaka. They were getting off light for now but agreeing would only make it worse when they were punished later on. He glanced over at Ciel, watching the younger male sleep before turning back to Tanaka. "What now?" He asked.
"What now?" Tanaka smiled and reclined back into his chair. There wasn't much that could be done at the moment. The house was still in a small uproar and everything was just beginning to settle down. It would take a while, but no further action would be taken on the current situation until Ciel and Sebastian were well enough to get around. After all, he had agreed with Doll that Sebastian and Ciel would deal with Joker. Nothing could be done with the man until the two were well and able. "For now you two rest. We'll deal with everything else once you are well, but be sure to enjoy your down time," he said, leaving the reason for his last statement to hang in the air. Tanaka still hadn't thought out a fitting punishment.
Sebastian nodded and leaned back on his pillows. He was tired and wanted sleep, but refused to close his eyes and rest until Ciel was awake. Especially now that Tanaka was here. Some part of him feared that their punishment would be separation and that was one thing he couldn't stand. He gave Ciel's hand a gentle squeeze, the motion calming him down.
The boy groaned and shifted causing a pained mumble of Sebastian's name to slip from his lips. His hand gripped at Sebastian and suddenly a bright blue eye sprung open. Ciel stared at the ceiling, looking slightly panicked as he tried to make sense of where he was. Harsh breaths were slowing down as he calmed his heartbeat
Slowly he turned his head, seeming relieved too see Sebastian still beside him. "You're still here," Ciel said like he believed the older man would have up and disappeared.
"I am," Sebastian murmured and stroked Ciel's hand, feeling his pulse race still. This was why he wanted to be awake when Ciel came out of his sleep. The mental trauma was going to be hard for the younger male as he wasn't used to something so stressful as a near death experience. This was Sebastian's third and he was still unnerved by it and was trying not think how his own dreams would play out.
Tanaka watched the sight silently, studying the way the two men interacted. Ciel's response was the most concerning and Tanaka knew that any idea he had to split the two would end up being detrimental to Ciel's psychological health. Right now it would be important to keep them together as much as possible. Ciel needed that security.
Ciel smiled. "I'm glad." He stared at Sebastian a few moments, assuring himself that the man wouldn't disappear, before looking past him and catching sight of Tanaka. The smile faded and he looked nervously away. He wasn't sure why his grandfather was here, but this was the first time he had seen him since their argument in his office.
"Good morning, Ciel," Tanaka said warmly, trying to put Ciel at ease. He could see Sebastian holding Ciel's hand tighter, reassuring him that everything was going to be okay. "I'm not going to separate you two, if that's what you're thinking. I'm just here to talk."
Sebastian leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to Ciel's temple. "I'll stay up still if you want," he offered.
Ciel's head shot over to look at Sebastian. "Still? Have you not slept?" For the moment Tanaka was ignored as Ciel found current importance in Sebastian's health. "You idiot, you're going to make yourself sicker."
"I'm fine," Sebastian answered, even though it was obvious that it was a lie. His eyes were heavy and sleep was calling for him, but Sebastian could stay awake for a little while longer.
A huff sounded from Ciel and he glanced at Tanaka. "Tell him he needs sleep," he said to the old man, hoping that Tanaka's authority would come in handy. It didn't seem as if Sebastian was going to listen to Ciel's ranting.
Tanaka smirked slightly. "Why should I?" He asked. "It seems as though neither of you are willing to listen to me when I say something. Why should now be any different?" It was cruel, but the point had been made.
Well that was a slap in the face, Ciel thought. He cringed and didn't look Tanaka in the eye. "This is different," he said, although not knowing just how it was different. All Ciel wanted was for Sebastian to get some rest. He had never wanted the man to stay up all night to watch over him. Ciel was a big boy, he could take care of himself. Hadn't he proved as much, at least to a degree.
Sebastian chuckled and pressed a kiss to Ciel's hand. "As my lord commands," he teased, giving the hand another kiss. He leaned back against the pillows, sighing softly as his body relaxed into the bed and let his eyes close. Fingers laced through Ciel's once more and he gave them one more squeeze before Sebastian allowed himself to fall asleep.
Ciel watched intently as he felt Sebastian's hold fall lax around his hand, and the telltale signs of sleep ghosted over Sebastian's features. It was then that Ciel knew the man to be asleep and he felt comforted that the older man was getting the rest that he needed. The idiot shouldn't have kept himself up like that, but that was Sebastian and Ciel couldn't help but feel loved in the silly little things that he did.
"Now that he's asleep, we can talk," Tanaka answered and looked at Ciel. "I'm glad to see that you're doing better after your injuries. I don't think I need to say how upset I am with you for going behind my back and against my orders."
That wasn't what Ciel wanted to hear at the moment. He was suddenly hoping for Sebastian to be awake. The man usually seemed to redirect all animosity directed towards Ciel. But now he was here with Tanaka and no one was going to save him from his grandfather's wrath. A simple sorry wasn't going to cut it, and Ciel didn't feel inclined to give it. He wasn't sorry for what he did. Sebastian was alive, he was alive, and everything had turned out for the better. Ciel had nothing to be sorry for. He saved Sebastian, something Tanaka would not have done.
"I did what I had to," he said meekly, looking already slightly defeated in his injured state.
"I understand that," Tanaka answered. "But that still doesn't make it right. We almost lost both of you and you also put two other people in danger as well. It was reckless and down right irresponsible."
Ciel huffed and settled an annoyed look at Tanaka. "I didn't force them to do anything. They helped me out because they wanted to. They wanted Sebastian home safely and because of that we got him home safely," he said. "As for it being irresponsible? I knew the risks, and I was prepared to accept them. I was ready to die if it meant Sebastian lived. He didn't deserve to die for a mistake I roped him into making with me."
Tanaka's eyes narrowed slightly and he worked to keep himself calm so he didn't snap at Ciel. "That may be, but Sebastian was also prepared to die as well. He never wanted you to end up in a such a condition." He ran a hand over his face. "But I suppose that's where we both went wrong. We've babied you and let you get away with things that normally wouldn't be allowed. Which is why you're to be punished the same as Sebastian."
"Babying me has nothing to do with it. I love Sebastian, and I'm not going to let him die if I can help it. It's as simple as that. I'll always save him, or die trying." And that was a hard fact. He would take whatever punishment Tanaka would dish out, but it would never change how Ciel felt. It was there that it seemed Tanaka could not understand Ciel's point of view.
"I understand that you two love each other to the point of death and this incident has only made that bond stronger, but there's no need for it to make you reckless. You cannot act in such a way when you take over this family," Tanaka stated. He felt as though they were running around in circles and he was starting to see just how hard headed Ciel could be.
Ciel sighed and shook his head. "I'm not going to put myself in a situation to be taken. I learned that lesson, but I will continue to be 'reckless' when it comes to Sebastian. If I have to throw myself into the crossfire in order to save him, then I will. If that makes me a bad leader, then so be it." He didn't need to head the family, not at the cost of Sebastian's safety. It was too much to ask of him. Sebastian would always rank higher than the family. That was an inarguable fact.
Tanaka massaged his temples as a headache built up behind his eyes. "You get this from your mother," he said with a small groan. He had to resign himself to the fact that where Sebastian was concerned, Ciel would be stubborn and headstrong, as was the case for Sebastian with Ciel. Nothing could change that. No amount of threatening or punishment would change the fact. Instead, it would only push them away from the family.
"You make that sound like a bad thing," Ciel bit out, still on the defensive and not yet willing to let his guard down. He was like a hissing cat, back hunched and hair standing on end. If it wasn't for being bed ridden, he would be standing while pointing a threatening finger at the man. Although Ciel doubted it would have gotten him very far.
"And look where it got her," Tanaka snapped back before clamping his mouth shut. That had been a low blow for both of them and he let out a long sigh, releasing the pent up anger. "I just don't want the same fate to meet you as well. It may be selfish, but I'm not ready to lose you, or Sebastian, which is why I'm angry right now with the two of you."
Nothing more was said on Ciel's part, since he knew that they were far too close to screaming out hurtful words. Such things would get them nowhere, and only make the matter worse. As it stood neither was ready to see things in a different light and Ciel was fine with that for the moment. Everything would come in time, and hopefully this situation would never befall them again. It was the least Ciel could hope for.
Ciel laid his head back down and stared blankly at the ceiling. "How is everyone else?" He asked after a moment, realizing that he hadn't heard from Finny or Claude.
"Everyone is doing fine. Finny is giving Claude a hard time for pronouncing you dead at the scene, teasing him and whatnot. And I'm sure Sebastian will have a few words with the man as well," Tanaka answered. "Sebastian had believed you to be dead due to Claude's words and didn't take it too well. But it was a mistake that was easy to make, as it was hard to find your pulse."
"What?" Ciel's head snapped back to his grandfather, causing a sharp pain to flare in his shoulder. It was ignored. His mind was far too confused over what he was hearing. "I was pronounced dead?"
Tanaka frowned and he quickly realized that Sebastian hadn't mentioned that fact to Ciel when they had first woken up, no doubt in an effort to protect the younger male. "Yes. When Claude and Finny first found you and Sebastian, they couldn't find a heartbeat. It was The Undertaker who realized you were alive and you were rushed upstairs for surgery. Sebastian had to watch until he was sedated due to the fear he was harming himself more by trying to get to you."
That hadn't been what Ciel wanted to hear. How close had he been to death? What had Sebastian gone through? He looked to the man sleeping soundly in bed, and his heart clenched at just what Sebastian had endured. Tears prickled at Ciel's eyes but he wouldn't let them fall. Slowly his hand reached through the bars separating Sebastian and himself and grabbed at the man's hand. He was never letting Sebastian go. It felt wrong for Sebastian to worry over Ciel, when it was Sebastian who had faced so much mental torment. It should be Ciel worrying and doting on Sebastian. The man deserved that and so much more.
"How did he take it?" Ciel had to ask, knowing that truthfully his death had been something he had freely welcomed when he had walked into this whole mess with the intent of saving Sebastian. He suddenly wondered if he would have actually been doing Sebastian a favor.
Tanaka shrugged. "I'm not sure. At the time Sebastian was informed, I was downstairs with you. Claude would know what happened, but I'm sure it wasn't pretty." He glanced at Sebastian before continuing. "When we brought you up here, Sebastian was being prepared for surgery and as soon as he heard you were still alive, he was out of the bed, screaming for you."
It was something Tanaka had never heard before; such raw emotion from Sebastian was almost eerie. Sebastian didn't show much emotion to people, bar Ciel, and those screams were something he would probably never forget. They were screams from a man who had lost everything only to regain it with the knowledge that it could be stolen away once more.
"I see." Ciel swallowed hard. He didn't want to think what might have happened at that time. A part of him needed to know, but another wanted to hide from that fact. He needed to know that giving his life for Sebastian wasn't something he wanted out of selfishness, wanting to spare himself of the hurt of living without the man he loved beyond all else. The more he thought about it, the more he questioned himself. No matter what the issue was, it still wouldn't stop Ciel from going after Sebastian if he needed to. It didn't change anything.
"He's fine now," Tanaka stated. "Knowing that you're still alive and next to him will help him heal. But I warn you now that the mental trauma you two faced will stay with you for a while. You were tortured, just as Sebastian was and something such as that doesn't go away. We know what you went through, but Sebastian hasn't spoken about his time in Joker's grasp. We can only guess at what they did."
Once more, things Ciel would rather not think about were piled on him. The torture had been nothing compared with the thought of losing Sebastian. Still, the images of Sebastian being shot in front of him haunted Ciel. Seeing Sebastian so torn and broken upon his return had also affected Ciel in more ways than he was willing to admit. He wasn't yet sure how it all would affect him in the future but it was something he would deal with when he had to. Ciel already was trying to block out his own pain from his mind, the damage to his eye being his biggest worry at the moment.
Ciel laughed then, dry and humorless. "Life sucks," he said.
"That it does," Tanaka answered and stood up. "I should let you rest now. No doubt I've given you more than enough information for one day. Make sure you get some sleep as well. I want you healed up quickly." He nodded at the younger male and moved to the door, planning to get some work done now that he knew Ciel and Sebastian were okay. Punishment was still in order, but that would come in time.
With a sigh, Ciel sunk back into his bed. He had done so much sleeping already, but his body still felt tired. A blue eye closed before Ciel could see Tanaka leave. It only took a few minutes more until Ciel fell back to sleep, hand still holding tightly onto Sebastian's.
Sebastian panted softly as he moved around the room, feeling Ciel's eyes watching his every step. Or at least one eye watched him. The other eye was covered with a black eye patch and every so often, Ciel would reach up and tug at it, not used to the feeling.
Another lap was made around the spacious room and Sebastian paused at the ending point to catch his breath. It had been two weeks since they had returned from Joker's hideout and only in the past few days had they been allowed the freedom to leave their beds and walk around. Sebastian jumped at the chance, wanting to build his strength back up and have the chance to move once more.
"You're going to land yourself another week of being bedridden. Will's going to come in and see you over doing it and he's going to kill you. I won't stop him either." Ciel was sitting in bed, watching intently as Sebastian overdid himself. Unfortunately, Ciel's hip was more than a hindrance to him when he walked, still hurting him quite a bit, only getting out of bed to use the restroom. Sebastian couldn't have him out of bed while still trying to stay in shape. Ciel would do all that when he was forced through rehab, but for now he would watch Sebastian.
"He's not going to come in because he doesn't have a reason to," Sebastian answered, leaning against the wall. His arm was still in a cast, preventing him from working his upper body as well. "And why would you want to stop me?" Truth be told, Sebastian didn't want to stop. Staying in bed drove him crazy and getting up to work out helped to keep the horrible thoughts at bay.
Ciel rolled his eyes. "I don't know... Why would I want to make you stop? Let's say... So that you don't rip out a stitch!" He yelled the last bit, his over protectiveness rearing its ugly head once more. Only down side was that Ciel was injured as well this time, he couldn't reign in Sebastian as well as he once could.
Sebastian chuckled but pushed away from the wall so he could walk towards the bed. With a huff, he sat down carefully next to Ciel. "Better?" He asked, leaning over to give Ciel a kiss. He didn't want the younger male to worry and he also had to admit that ripping out a stitch would be unpleasant, especially dealing with Will.
"Much better. I'd hate to have you hurt yourself worse and end up having to stay in bed once I'm discharged. I might not come visit you. Teach you a right lesson." Ciel smirked and poked at Sebastian's shoulder. It had been a trying few weeks, but Ciel was already beginning to feel much better. His shoulder was manageable, and his eye was healing to the point that some of the more shallow areas of the gash were shedding their scabs and revealing pale skin. He would have a scar there, but that wasn't his greatest worry at the moment. The eye could now open, but Ciel did not dare open it yet, too afraid of finding out the extent of the damage. He didn't want to know and he didn't want Sebastian to know.
"You're so mean to me," Sebastian pouted and leaned back on the bed. He wiggled slightly so his head rested in Ciel's lap and he looked up at Ciel's face. His good arm rose, fingers brushing over pale skin, skimming lightly over the eye patch, before coming up to thread through dark hair. "Are you scared?" He asked lowly.
"Of you ripping a stitch? Hardly. It'll be your own fault," Ciel answered, trying to play off the question. He didn't want to talk about this, not now. Sebastian had been trying to broach the conversation far too often for Ciel's liking, but he just didn't want to talk about it. Why worry about it now? Wait until it had to be addressed and no sooner.
Sebastian frowned at Ciel and let his fingers creep up higher until they brushed over the strings holding the patch in place. "You are scared," he commented, feeling Ciel stiffen as he tugged lightly on the strings. He lowered his hand, not wanting to rush Ciel and further harm him. "It won't make me think any less of you."
Ciel wouldn't look at Sebastian. A hand held down Sebastian's wrist, not letting it move back to the ties of the eye patch. "Sebastian, please don't," Ciel pleaded, lone blue eye looking lost as it stared at the blankets.
"Why?" Sebastian asked, looking curiously at Ciel. Fear swam in the single eye and Sebastian tugged his hand out of Ciel's grip so he could lower it down to his chest. "I'm sorry," he murmured. It was easy to forget at times that Ciel handled things differently than he did and Sebastian had to remember to respect that.
"Don't be," Ciel said after a moment, expelling a breath that he'd been holding. "I should just get over it, and deal with whatever comes from this. Be I blind or not. I'll get past it." It was better in theory. Ciel still feared Sebastian's opinion on the scar that would form. He might say that he didn't care, but it was hard to find pleasure in something unsightly. It didn't help that Ciel's body would be littered in scars. He didn't even want to think how the shallow whip lashes to his back had altered and ruined his tattoos.
Sebastian grabbed Ciel's hand, pressing a kiss to it. "Hush," he said, making the younger male push the thoughts from his mind. Tanaka would call it babying Ciel, but Sebastian called it something else. He called it caring, and it was something he would allow only for Ciel and if it got him in trouble, then so be it. Nothing from that day was going to further torment Ciel again.
"Don't tell me to hush," but Ciel drew Sebastian's head up so that he could place a firm kiss on the man's lips. At one time he had thought that he would never experience such a thing. Now Ciel could not get enough. He kissed him once more, simple and sweet, before pulling away. The action had brightened his mood just a little, and he found it within himself to smile. "We need to hurry and get well. I want you all to myself in our bed. There are so many things I want to do." A wicked glint settled in Ciel's eye.
A low chuckle left Sebastian's throat. "I like the way your mind thinks. Maybe in a week or two, I'll give you a small treat, a hint at what's to come once we're fully healed." The thought was arousing, but it was nothing more than that. Their bodies were still too injured to do such a thing and they would have to wait patiently until the time came that they could indulge themselves once more.
Ciel chuckled. "Best be when no one can catch us. Tanaka really would split us up and I'm afraid Will might kill us... Grell would kill me." He frowned, not liking the way Grell fawned over Sebastian. The man was far too desperate in Ciel's opinion.
"This is true. We shouldn't push our limits right now, seeing as we're still in trouble with Tanaka. The man can make our punishment much worse if he catches us in the act," Sebastian stated. He pressed closer to Ciel, pushing his face into the younger male's stomach and inhaling deeply. "For now, I'm content right here. Never to leave your side again."
Not yet ready to throw the idea away just yet, Ciel threaded his hands through Sebastian's hair. "You could always help me to the bathroom. My hip has been troubling me recently. Who knows, I might need help with an array of problems," he prompted, looking like a sly little fox.
Sebastian shook his head. "Not falling for it again. Last time I let you convince to do something like that, you were taken away from me." He wouldn't let that happen again, even if they were back in the mansion. Tanaka could always take Ciel away and the thought had Sebastian clutching at Ciel even more.
"Indeed. Besides, I want to have you in our bed." Ciel lay back, reclining on the bed. His hand continued to idly play with Sebastian's hair and the atmosphere turned calm and serene. It was nice like this, with just the two of them. They didn't receive many visitors. Everyone was too busy still cleaning up the mess that had been caused as the remaining members of Joker's gang were picked off along with their contacts. The only people not involved were Finny and Ann. Finny had his hands full with Soot and Alex. Ciel missed the two, but Will had forbade animals from coming into the infirmary. Ann was still being led in the dark over everything.
Tanaka had passed along that the woman had broken some of his priceless pottery that he kept in his office. She was on a war path until she knew what had become of her precious nephew. Ciel didn't understand why they just couldn't tell her. There was no way that he could hide his eye, and he doubted he could come up with a convincing lie. Stabbing yourself in the eye with a paint brush didn't sound all that believable. It wouldn't be long before the woman broke into this room in her pursuit to track Ciel down. That would be a sight to see.
Sebastian hummed and pushed into the teasing touches, feeling them coax him into the dreamworld. After walking around earlier, his body was tired and wanted sleep. His eyes fluttered shut and he sighed against Ciel's stomach. "You can have me anyway you want after this. Up against the wall, the mirror, or in a thunderstorm. I don't care."
Ciel thought that over for a moment, since it wasn't often that Sebastian so freely offered himself up as he was doing now. "I do believe we had in the backseat of a car next on our list." He chuckled pinched lightly on Sebastian's ear. "Don't fall asleep on me."
"I'm awake," Sebastian answered lowly. His eyes remained closed though and his grip around Ciel loosened slightly. "The back seat of the car sounds good. Under normal circumstances, I'd say we should do it in Claude's car, still tempted to actually. But he did help, so I feel as though that would be in bad faith."
That comment received a chuckle from Ciel who looked quite amused. "Wait a week and I'm sure he'll have done something to warrant you retracting that statement." Their current truce would only last so long. Soon enough the insults would be back and the animosity plentiful.
"Probably," Sebastian answered with a low chuckle. He yawned as Ciel's fingers started to thread through his hair again, lulling him to sleep. "I'm tired," he mumbled and pressed closer to Ciel.
"That's your own fault. You shouldn't have been pushing yourself so much, not when you're not even fully healed," Ciel reprimanded. "It serves you right!" He flicked Sebastian's nose and withdrew his hands completely from the man.
Sebastian pouted and rubbed his nose. A low whine left his throat and he reached for Ciel's hands again, wanting to feel them running through his hair again. "I have my reasons," he stated, but didn't bother to elaborate any further.
It went quiet, Ciel finding himself relaxed, his eyes drooping. He wasn't going to push Sebastian for answers right now; there was little point. It wasn't as if he could currently live up to any threat he could dish out. This being bedridden thing was far from pleasant and Ciel hoped that Will would soon give him the green light to be discharged.
"How much longer do you think we'll be kept here?" Ciel asked after a moment, unsure if Sebastian was still awake.
"At least another week," Sebastian answered lowly. "Then we'll be released and allowed to sleep in our own bed, see our girls, and have a bit more privacy." Even then, they still wouldn't be able to do anything. Sebastian's arm would still be in a cast and Ciel's wounds would be tender. It would be at least another two months before anything more could come from them.
Ciel groaned, not sure if he wanted to deal with all of this for another week. The constant smell of alcohol and cleaners was slowly getting to Ciel. Every moment he spent here was another reminder of what had happened and the changes Ciel would soon be made to face, both in himself and the world around him. For once he wished they could go back to their room and pretend none of this had ever happened. Ciel's eye was still as functional as ever, no ugly gash tarnishing the bright blue. He wanted to believe that, just for a little while until reality crumbled around them as life took its course and forced the ugly truth of things upon him in the most cruelest of ways.
"A week is too long," Ciel said, returning his fingers to Sebastian's hair. It seemed the action calmed him as much as it did Sebastian.
"It'll go by faster than you think," Sebastian answered. "You'll sleep through most of it and I'll watch over you, making sure that no one takes you away from me again." Sebastian wouldn't admit it out loud, but it was his biggest fear now; to have someone take Ciel away. He liked to think that they were safe in the mansion but he refused to let his guard down. Every action made him suspicious and Sebastian was constantly looking over his shoulder now.
A big yawn escaped Ceil's mouth, his eyes scrunching with the effort. "I'm not going anywhere. Not with this bum hip at least." He poked at his still sore side and hissed. If felt bruised, but indeed an improvement to weeks prior. At least he could now stand and limp around with a crutch or Sebastian's help. There was really no need for Sebastian to worry, or was there. Ciel frowned and looked suddenly serious as he stared down at the man in his lap. "Did you really think I was dead?" He asked, voice as soft as a whisper.
Sebastian stiffened and his grip around Ciel tightened. His eyes closed tightly as he recalled that day with precision and he found himself trembling. "Yes," he whispered hoarsely. "Claude told me they couldn't find your pulse when they found us and I didn't want to believe him. You were still alive in my arms when I passed out but I didn't know what happened after that. The next thing I knew, I was awake and they were telling me you weren't. It hurt so much."
"I had planned to die," Ciel whispered, afraid of the repercussion his words would have. "I wanted you to live, even if it meant me dying. I never planned on living when I went to get you. It didn't seem possible. Only when I saw you did I hope that we could return home together or die trying."
Nails dug into Ciel's back and Sebastian glanced up through his lashes to glare at Ciel. "You're not allowed to say those words ever again. You have too much left of your life to even think about dying." His grip loosened slightly as the anger ebbed away. "You were supposed to live, that was what I told you to do."
Ciel returned Sebastian's glare, looking a little miffed. "You were planning to do the same for me. What makes it okay for you, but not for me? You have just as much of your life left to live as I do. I'm not that much younger than you. Don't forget it." He flicked Sebastian's ear hard, making it redden from the attack.
Sebastian hissed and rubbed his ear. "Because I was ready for it. I've been trained to lay my life down for the family, or in this case you. You weren't ready and I didn't want you to go through something like that."
"And I didn't want to live my life knowing that you died for my sake. I just couldn't do it." The hand in Sebastian's hair moved away, curling into Ciel's other arm as they crossed against his chest. The mood was quickly turning sour and he was beginning to wish Sebastian would fall asleep.
Sebastian's mouth opened, ready to argue that he felt the same before he changed his mind. "Your life belongs to me, as mine does to you," he murmured and ran his hand up Ciel's side in a soothing manner. "No one else has that privilege."
A crooked smile curved Ciel's lips. "I do believe I've told you as much." He leaned down to kiss Sebastian on the forehead, lingering there until his sore muscles ached in protest. It was funny how easily things shifted back to calm. It wasn't worth being mad at one another at this moment in time, not when they had been so close to death. Ciel still couldn't come to terms with everything that had happened. For now they seemed stuck in their own little world, reality poking in for only a minute before being forced out once more, leaving calm serenity behind.
Humming softly, Sebastian nodded and let his eyes fall shut once more. He couldn't think about living a life without Ciel and he pushed the unsettling thoughts away. They were dangerous and only proved to show Sebastian just how much Ciel was truly his weakness. But at the same time, the male was his strength and Sebastian clung to him for now, wanting nothing more than to stay like this.
A low sigh left his mouth as he pushed further into Ciel's warmth. His body ached and Sebastian yawned, wanting to go back to sleep. Tomorrow was another day and it seemed as though that was the best way to take things for now. One day at a time.
to be continued...
