Married to the Mob?

Ch 49: Can't get you outta my mind…

Christian and Ethan were still outside of the Diner. In fact it's where Christian and Ana had their first kiss well, almost, as it was in the parking lot across the diner. Ironic how this all went. Ethan was just telling Christian that maybe he should just leave his sister alone. Yeah like that would happen.

"No thanks to you, I was trying to protect my sister from finding out anything." Christian told Ethan.

"Yeah you always have the best of intentions. Too bad logic tends to screw that up." Ethan replied.

"I guess you have a point." Christian pointed out. He was breaking down quickly.

Ethan was beside himself, he didn't know what to think anymore. "What is this? Are you now getting a conscience?"

Christian had his hands on his hips as he asked, "What's wrong, Kavanaugh? That doesn't fit your profile of me?"

Ethan changed the subject to Ana. "What exactly was the deal between you and Ana?" he was curious.

"Oh, so you don't know anything huh?"

"She really hasn't told me much about it, okay?"

"So your best friend really told you nothing?" Christian asked him. He was sort of surprised, but hey they weren't as close as they used to be.

"All I know is that she was scared. She didn't want to get her friends involved in this whole nightmare. Does that make sense to you?"

Christian didn't really care what Ethan thought his marriage to Ana. It was no one's business but theirs but, it wasn't even a real marriage to begin with.

"Yeah...well it's over now. So you can mind your own business," Christian replied, sharply.

Ethan knew he really didn't want to make Christian an enemy. "How's your jaw?"

"I'll live."

Ethan told Christian that when he saw him grab Mia he was going to step in. Christian told Ethan he was only playing a hero to look good in front of his sister.

"Let me give you some advice...don't be so stupid next time. I will let this one fly, but the next one, I won't." Christian said, with a little humor.

Ethan asked what about Mia but Christian told him maybe she would accept it or run far away from here.

"Do you ever think about getting in your car and taking off?" Christian asked him.

"Yeah. I've been there. The only trouble with that is...no where you end up, you're still the same person."

"What are your intentions towards my sister? I mean she has your number so I know she will call you."

"Oh so now you're telling me to stay away from her?"

"If she calls you...I want...I want you to do what she asks and look out for her."

"What's the catch, Christian?"

"No catch. I just been thinking about it and when things get crazy around here...she's going to need some support. And you really don't want me for an enemy do you?" Christian said, as he started walking off.

"Where are you going?" Ethan asked, curiously.

"I'm just ...going to drive…" Christian replied heading to his car.

Christian got in his car and went for a much needed drive. He had no idea where he was headed, just needed to get away. Before he knew he had parked his car and went inside a building. He ended up at the lighthouse where he and Ana made Jose believe they were the real deal. Christian flashed back to that night as he sat looking at the bed.

I just sat there from across the bed thinking how much my life changed that night. When Ana had crawled into the bed with me and we were kissing. I knew that I was completely in love with her then. And when Jose caught us in bed, it took every ounce of me not to rub it in.

However; once he accepted it and left that's when things changed between us. Or so I thought. I really wanted our marriage to work. I wanted her to tell me she was in love with me too, but it never happened.

Christian heard a noise just outside the door and that snapped him out of his memory. He wiped his eyes as he got up and went closer to the door. He heard the noise again and the door opened. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. There she stood...just staring back into his eyes. Ana.

My God, she was more beautiful than ever! My heart skipped a beat just seeing her. Damn she looked good! Her eyes met mine as she stood looking at me.

Ana stepped down a couple of step as she set her purse down.

"What are you doing here?" Christian asked. He was confused as he thought she left to visit her dad in Europe.

"Actually, I never left," she answered.

"You mean you didn't go visit your father?"

"No...I just needed some time to think."

Christian was kind of shocked to see her in front of him now. "So...you've been holding yourself up here all this time?"

"Pretty much yeah. So that explains why I'm here...why are you?" she asked him.

Christian stood there looking at her. He wanted to reach out and take her in his arms and tell her how he felt. Everything has been spiraling out of control lately.

"To be honest I'm not sure. I was out driving and ended up here. I'm sorry...I know this is an important place for you...I know that this place holds memories for you and Jose."

Ana wasn't quite sure what to say, "It's not...yeah it is a special place for me. It's kind of why I came here. I wanted to think about me and Jose…" her voice trailed off looking into his eyes.

Wow! It's weird seeing Christian here after all this time. I had no idea what he was doing here but in a way I was glad. It was great to see him.

Christian looked at her so sad. There she goes mentioning Jose again.

I should have figured Ana would come here and rehash memories of her and her old boyfriend. Hearing her say his name only made me feel worse. I just felt like dying inside...who was I kidding? I was already dead.

"I will get out of here so you can think...I really hope you figure everything out. I want you and Jose to have a really good life together," his voice trembled. Christian knew he better leave quickly or he'd fall apart. "I didn't mean to intrude on your special place," he said as he dropped his keys.

He and Ana went to pick them up...he felt her hand on his and he felt that jolt of electricity. Both looked at each other the same time. They gazed into each other's eyes, one was hoping the other would speak up. He picked up his keys and started to leave. Only Ana stopped him.

"Christian wait...I don't want you to go," she said looking at him. "We have to talk about this."

He walked away from her saying, "What do you want to talk about, Ana?"

Christian was on the brink of losing it anytime now. He was sure she could his his heart beating fast.

"Oh please!" Ana began. "Are you kidding me?"

Christian turned to Ana as he almost broke down. "Oh come on, wake up! This isn't just about you and your feelings!" as his voice cracked. In fact he already had tears built up and now was escaping his eyes. "Did you ever stop and think ever since we met...that my life...hasn't exactly been a picnic either?"

Ana, herself was getting emotional too. She closed her eyes just to calm down and breathe.

Christian continued on, "I got myself arrested last night," he saw her eyes opened wide as she looked at him. He sniffed and went on, "I put my family in jeopardy and now got my kid sister got involved. Now she thinks...we're just a bunch of criminals."

Ana told him she was sorry as she went up to him trying console him only he pushed her away. "Don't be, I'm the one who screwed up."

He started walking away when she started talking to him again. "Christian, please don't...you need to let me finish. I came here to think about Jose and I can't because…" her voice trailed off as it became too much. She took a deep breath to calm down again.

"What?" he asked.

"Because...I can't stop thinking about you…" Ana said as she looked into his eyes. She wanted him to know she was sincere about this.

Christian looked at her in turmoil. He was looking at her hoping she would say she was in love with him.

"I have tried...I've really tried… and now I can't get you out of my mind."

He really wanted to believe Ana. But something inside of him told him she was only setting him up again. He couldn't take it anymore.

What the hell is she doing to me? Is she trying to tell me she's in love with me? All she was telling me was that she couldn't get me off her mind. So what does that mean exactly?

"Can I just be honest with you?" Ana asked.

He sighed as he was so tired emotionally. It been a long day, but he was going to hear what she had to say.

I wished she would, be honest with me.

"Okay...please." he replied.

"I came here in a way to recapture what past I had with Jose, and um…"

Oh Jeesh, do I really need to stand here and listen to her talk about Jose? Really? Damn it! I just want to choke the man with my bare hands.

"That's good…" he started to say but she continued on, "Jose and I were really happy in here you know. It meant alot to me…" Oh great I get to hear about good ol Jose! "But now um…" Just keep stabbing me in the heart, Ana. "All I've ever been able to think about is lying with you in bed that night, and lying next to you...And I'm having a difficult time," Just say it, Ana! Come on you're driving me crazy! "I'm having a very difficult time remembering Jose's face, which scares me a lot. And I'm really surprised by the whole thing because it's not what I expected at all."

"I can't keep fighting it you know?" Ana said, to him as he turned facing her.

"I'm sorry you were here that night right?" Christian asked as she replied, "Yes." He said, "It wasn't some big romantic evening, if you remembered I repulsed you. You also pushed me away and cried about Jose."

Ana clasped her hands together saying, "I was upset about Jose because I didn't want to hurt him, and I still don't want to hurt him...but you're my husband."

"Ana, that was nothing but a lie, you know that."

"Are you going to tell me you didn't feel anything when we were lying in that bed next to me? That you felt nothing at all and went I walked down the aisle and we exchanged vows...Don't do that please. You know you felt something, because I felt something when you kissed me."

Of course I felt something! There's no way I can't lie next to you in bed and feel nothing. I'm in love with you, Ana. So damn freaking head over heels in love with you! Can you not see that by looking in my eyes?

"I don't know what you're doing but stop it! Just stop it!" Christian yelled out his voice cracking. He sighed out trying to control his emotions by willing them down. "We were pretending, we did what we had to do...to keep you alive. That's it…" as he tried to walk away.

"I can't pretend that well, I couldn't pretend that well if I tried! Do you have any idea how much I wish we could go back and make it as simple as we planned and as easy as that!"

She walked towards him, "Something happened, I don't know what it was but it's there...something made it real...and I know that we deserve to make this marriage work and just want to give it a try...please."

He felt her close proximity and it was killing him inside. He was on the brink of losing his mind with her.

God, having her this close to me was doing things to my body. I wanted so much to tell her how I felt but she burned me one too many times. Please Ana just say it...Im begging you just say it! Only she was getting my resolve as she lightly rubbed my chest begging to make this work between us. She put her hands on my shoulder and said my name in a whisper.

"Christian," she whispered.

Ana was so close to Christian right now as she touched his face. "I've tried so hard to fight any feelings I had for you," her voice was now to a whisper as she said, "I tried so hard...and I can't…" she kissed his lips, "I don't want to fight it anymore."

Damn it! Why can't I resist her? Her lips were on mine and I couldn't pull away. Her lips moved over mine as we kissed. She told me she didn't want to fight anymore as she deepened the kiss. My resolve was gone as I kissed her back. I held her face in my hands as I kissed her with more passion than ever before. I wanted her so much, that I was barely hanging on.

"Christian, we can work this out if you just leave your family behind," she said, in between kissing him.

Christian pulled away from her immediately after she brought up his family.

"I can't do this!" Christian said, breaking away from her.

He was getting his emotions in check. She wanted to change him and it wasn't possible.

"What? Why? If we care about each other then why not?" Ana cried out.

He turned to her with tears streaming down his face. "Don't you get it? I am one of them. You can't change me. I can't be with you...knowing that you want to change me!"

Ana was crying now as she really wanted to continue with their relationship. "Why? We can at least try." She pleaded with him.

He stepped up to the door as he told her, "It would never work. You would never be able to accept for who I am, Ana." Christian walked out the door closing it. Ana went up to the door calling his name!

Both were crying and in tears. Ana paced around thinking of ways they could be together while her heart was breaking. Christian was leaning back on the door trying to stop the tears from flowing.

God, I love her! I love her so much it's killing me inside. But she and I come from two different worlds. I would destroy her as her best friend said. The best thing for me to do is walk away from her, even though my heart was in a million pieces.

Christian left the lighthouse and wiped his tears away. He had to move on. His sister called him to say she wasn't coming home That she was staying with Ethan at the border house, he got her a room there. Christian pulled up into the driveway. As soon as he got inside Grace went up to him. She was upset that her daughter wasn't coming home.

"Mother, come on, you lied to Mia. We all did. What did you think she would do?"

"My daughter hates me. I was only doing what I thought was right concerning her." Grace replied.

"Do you blame her?" Christian asked, he was falling apart especially after his run in with Ana.

"She's out of control and this isn't good with the families. She has taken up with that guy Ethan and I don't like it one bit."

Christian was arguing with her. Ethan had told Mia everything and now she wanted nothing to do with the family. Grace blamed this all on Ethan and Ana. She was saying if Christian took care of the problem they wouldn't be in this mess.

Grace wanted Mia back in school and not around the family. He told his mother it was her fault, if she was going to blame anyone it should be her.

"You are the one that destroyed this family, mother!" Christian blurted out.

Grace was so furious with Christian she walked out angry. John happened to walk in after their heated argument.

"Is this a bad time?" his cousin asked.

Christian laughed through his emotions. "It's always a bad time around here. What can I do for you?"

"I'd like to talk to you about your marriage…"

"Ahhh well, there is nothing to talk about. I made up my mind it's done." Christian replied, catching his breath.

"That's what you keep saying. My job as your priest, and cousin I'm advising you not to do this. You can just tear these up, it's not too late to change your mind."

"Yeah well, you're not me. It's done," Christian said as a matter of fact. "When you have the papers…"

John reached in his pocket pulling out the envelope. "I tried."

Christian pulled them out and they looked pretty simple, basic stuff. John wished his cousin wouldn't go through with this.

Back at Fifties, Kate was talking to Selena. She had become very close to her since finding out she was in fact her real mother. She was telling her that Jose had chosen her and that he was in love with her and not Ana. Selena was telling Kate that she was just getting closer to her wish as Ana entered the establishment.

Ana walked up to Kate asking for Jose, but Kate told her he wasn't there. So Ana decided to wait for him. She and Kate found a table and sat together talking about Jose.

"Did something between the two of you?" Ana asked.

"I told you I wouldn't do anything until you decided what you both wanted." Kate answered, giving Ana a little white lie.

"Well, that's why I'm here. I need to talk with Jose." Ana replied as she was leaning on her hand.

"I think that's a great idea. He needs to talk to you as well." Kate wanted to say something else instead she asked, "So what's up with you and Christian?"

"I told you he doesn't want anything to do with me."

"And how do you feel about that?"

"I don't know," Ana sighed out.

"Yes you do. Now out with it." Kate laughed.

"Look, it doesn't matter how I feel okay? I suggested that we work on our marriage and he said no. So case closed."

"So then you're in love with him?" Kate asked her friend. She knew Ana had feelings for Christian. But she never really has admitted to falling in love with him. So Kate was sort of pushing her.

"No. I'm just feeling something for him but it's not...love."

Kate was so tired of the drama. "I'm getting a headache!" as she held her head in her hands.

Ana told Kate maybe she should have went to visit her dad because she was helping. Kate told Ana that her dad wouldn't like her being married to the mob.

"Kate, why are you giving me a hard time on this?" Ana was quite confused with Kate's attitude towards her.

Kate looked Ana in the face as she yelled. "Because I'm sick of you, I am sick of you bouncing back and forth between Jose and Christian, like you can actually do this! He loves me, he loves me not! I love him I, love him not!"

Ana sat there looking at Kate as if she was crazy going off.

"What happened, Ana? Did you make a move on, Christian? Yes, you did. So he rejected you and now you are here sitting, feeling sorry for yourself and your hoping Jose will kiss it and make it better! Well, that's not going to happen."

Kate stood up as she continued, "I know what you want, you want to stay married to Christian so why don't you go fight for him or go sit in the lighthouse and stop making everyone's life miserable!" She yelled.

Ana sat there for a moment as Kate walked away. She had no idea that Kate was feeling this way.

Wow! I have never seen Kate so mad. I need to go after her and straighten this out.

"You want to tell me why our so upset with me?"

"I'm not..it's just...everyone's life is on hold because of you. Me, Jose and Christian. We're all in limbo until Ana sorts out her damn feelings." Kate was frustrated at this point. She clenched her fist as she talked, "I just feel like beating them out of you!"

"None of this has been easy for me either, Kate. Nothing has been simple. It's not like a walk in the park. I mean what is this...I thought you were a friend of mine...sort of?"

Kate looked at her seriously. Are you kidding me, Ana! This whole thing is crazy!

"You need to start being honest with people. You need to tell Jose where your head is really."

"If I knew this would be much simpler, Kate."

"Okay well let's figure it out quickly!" Kate snapped her fingers.

"I sort of chose Christian until he decided he wasn't interested in me."

Kate couldn't believe this. "Are you hearing yourself? You sort of chose Christian, can you be any less vague."

"Look, I told him I wanted to work on the marriage, okay?"

"And?"

"That's pretty much it."

"Oh what passion! What tenderness, Ana. I'm not surprised he told you to get lost. Because he probably thinks you're setting him up again."

"I'm not!" Ana shouted.

"If you want this man, why don't you fight for him?"

"I have. I fought every way I know how to and that hasn't worked."

"He's a man, Ana. He can't hold out forever."

"That's just...you know what...its too late now because I blew it."

Kate saw Christian walk into Fifties. She looked at Ana and told her, "Maybe not. Here's your chance. Don't screw it up," Kate said, walking away as she passed Christian.

Christian approached Ana saying hello to her. She said she was glad they ran into each other and wanted to talk him and he said he need to talk with her also. He led them to a table nearby.

Ana sat in the chair next to Christian. She fidgeted with a napkin as she spoke to him. "I'm glad you changed your mind about giving our marriage a try."

"Ana...I didn't change my mind," he reached into his jacket and pulled out a brown envelope.

"These are the annulment papers...I want you to sign them. Sign them now," his tone was serious.

Ana looked at the envelope. It was as if it was a bomb ready to go off. She didn't even want to touch them. She never felt more rejected than she did right then.

What did you expect, Ana? You rejected him countless times and now you expect him to just throw his arms out to you and profess his love? You hurt him so fix it!

She looked at him, "Just like that?"

He furrowed his eyes at her, "Ana, you knew this was coming."

"After everything I told you, I told you how I felt and you're still wanting to end our marriage?"

"It doesn't fix everything…"

"I don't expect it to fix everything, but I knew it wasn't going to be easy for us."

"It should be more than easy, Ana. This whole marriage was a mistake. It should be over."

She began to tell him that their marriage meant something to her, but he told her it didn't. It became something she told him and they have to find out what that is.

"I'm just trying to see why you're trying to convince yourself that we meant nothing to each other."

He handed her a pen and told her to sign the papers. She grabbed the pen out of his hand and said, "Can you look at me please and tell me we felt nothing for each other? That we aren't right for each other. Can you tell me that for sure?"

He looked in her eyes and replied, "I know that my life isn't the right place for you. That being together, would only make ourselves miserable. "

Her tone soft, "You can't know what is right for me or you? But what I do know is that when I am passionate about something, I don't give up so easily. I don't want this marriage to end."

He shook his head at her. He couldn't believe this. Now she doesn't want to end the marriage.

"You are unbelieveable!" He threw the pen down. "Now! Now, you don't want it to end," his voice harsh.

He took his jacket off as she began saying that she knows she fought this marriage from the beginning. That she never really gave it a try as she was fighting him on it because she was so sure she didn't want anything to do with him. But now after everything that has happened, she didn't want to give up. He sighed to her telling her to just sign the papers.

"I know that I hurt you. It's so hard for you to trust me after the things I have done. But I know you believe what I am saying. I can see that you feel it."

He shook his head as she went on, "Christian, do you remember when you told me we had enough of a connection of an understanding, that we can make this marriage work."

"I was wrong!" he said to her.

"You weren't wrong, Christian. You saw a connection before I could before I would."

"Right...that's because you were so in love with Jose." He said condescending.

"I was in love with Jose...but being with you...it changed that somehow. Don't you see that things have changed, that has to say something."

"Yeah. It says I screwed up your life, and this annulment would be a blessing. Please…"

Ana stood up and said loudly, "This is not what I want!" She calmed down and said, "This is not what you want either. I can see that you're protecting yourself here."

He looked at her as he replied, "You are being incredibly naive, you know that!"

Ana crossed her arms to him as she replied back, "Maybe so. But I know you're lying. When I kissed you last night, are you going to tell me you didn't want me too?" He just sat there hoping she would stop this. She leaned in towards him saying, "Go ahead and tell me you don't want to kiss me right now."

Christian got up for the chair and commanded her to sign the papers. Only she took them and tore them up.

"I will not sign them!" as she threw the torn paper to him.

He gathered the pieces of paper, "I'm not going to let you do this."

He grabbed her hand and told her to come on. She asked where he was taking her.

"You need to see something," he said,grabbing her hand as they left the club. Together.

A/N: So just where is Christian taking her? Now that his sister knows their family business what will she do now? Are Ethan and Mia dating? Will Christian and Ana work things out?