AN: Daisyangel, this one is for you. (review replys will be in the next chapter.)

Chapter Forty Five

It's time to clear up your emotional debris
And if I'm falling overboard, please don't save me
'Cos I'm telling you now?

I Quit! I Quit!

Hepburn – I Quit

A mix of frustration, and anger were instilled inside me as I pushed open the doors to reception mechanically. I was trembling trying to hold everything together as I caught sight of Thomas being crooned at by a short sandy blond haired woman I recognized from Matt's team.

Matt was parked at his desk, one eye on the woman and Thomas, the other on door.

"Hey, how'd…whoa." Matt moved forward towards me, as tears started to spill over.

I felt Matt's hands on my shoulders as my vision blurred. I closed my eyes as he tugged me into a warm hug. I let out a deep breath before pulling away; his hands were still on my arms, creating a soothing connection.

"What's happening?" he asked, looking for any sort of clue. Before I knew it my jaw was clenching again at the repressed anger that was bubbling underneath the surface.

"They gave me a junior member of IAB and he didn't breathalyzer the bastard," I seethed.

"Now, now Detective Devine, I don't take too kindly to you spreading my client's good name through the mud." I whirled around to face the owner of the velvety voice.

I froze as a memory rushed at me as I caught sight of his face.

We'd met before. He was still articulately dressed; his doe brown eyes were on me the same way they had been at the ball when I'd been pregnant. He had a cold and calculated look to him. His floppy light brown hair was even pushed back in the same way.

"I hope I wasn't interrupting," he murmured, a strained smile spreading across his face.

"Dresden Marshall," I muttered, narrowing my eyes at him.

"She's a little firecracker this one isn't she?" he smirked above my head, his gaze on Matt.

"So, it's you that managed to get that scumbag out and back on the streets," I growled, glaring at him as I crossed my arms over my chest. Dresden's gaze flickered back to me in vague annoyance.

"Better keep hold of that temper Detective Devine, otherwise I'll be launching my own complaint against you," Dresden warned me. I let out an unlady like snort.

"I must be off; I'll be seeing you both in at the proceedings no doubt," with that he turned his back on us both and marched towards the door.

"I'll sort this out," Matt told me, taking long strides towards the door Dresden has just walked out of. I reached out to stop him but the door was already banging closed behind him.

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"Dresden!" Matt called loudly as he broke out onto sidewalk. The lawyer stopped upon hearing his name before turning to face the SWAT member. A nasty smile curved across his face. Matt stopped inches from Dresden his bulky frame looming over the other man.

"Coming to plead her case?" Dresden taunted, raising an eyebrow. Matt crossed his arms over his chest, looking at Dresden as if he was dirt.

"I want to know what you're doing on this case; you don't work cases like this. You like to think yourself above the low lives," Matt recounted without adding his real thoughts onto the end of the sentence.

"Maybe me and O'Brian both have something in common," Dresden snarled, matching Matt's even gaze.

"Carmen has nothing to do with what happened in the past. I'm warning you Dresden don't try to drag her down." The threat in Matt's voice was imminent. Dresden shook his head, a cold grin splashing across his face.

"I'm simply trying to get justice for my client, and get a violent cop off the streets," Dresden smirked. Matt shook his head in disgust.

"You know she's not violent, this could ruin her career…"

Dresden cut him off, "She's losing her grip Matty; she's not the darling of the NYPD anymore. She's already lashed out at a civilian; I hear she tore a chunk out of the kid from IAB. I'd watch out in case she turns on you. I hear that people suffering from Post Traumatic Stress will do that to the ones they love," Dresden hissed. Matt's face etched with fury at Dresden's words.

Dresden had always managed to rile him and it was taking all of his self control not to punch the bastard in the face.

"I swear to God Dresden, if I find out your not playing fair with her, I will end you. Your reputation, your career will be in tatters."

"Look at how that turned out last time…" Dresden took a step back arms open before spinning on his heel ad disappearing into the crowd. Matt stood on the steps of the stationhouse, arms folded, feeling the floodgates of his memories open.

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I was staring down at the tiny farmyard cow in my hands when I heard my name being called. "Carmen."

I lifted my head and peered through my hair to see Flack rushing towards me. His dark hair was tousled, his face still sleep ridden. He was wearing his NYPD t-shirt and dark jeans. His eyes were livid with worry, studying every single inch of my body and posture.

"Where's…" his eyes rested on Thomas who was setting up a tiny farm yard scene with the small plastic animals that Matt had pulled out of the toy box in reception.

"Hey," I responded wearily as Flack crouched down in front of me, his hands were on my arms, caressing them softly as he studied me.

"What's going on? There's all sorts of crazy rumours…" I pursed my lips shut for a second before the words began beginning to spill out of my mouth. All the anger and repression were building up inside me as I explained about O'Brian hitting the car, the IAB kid, Dresden.

By the end of it Flack's eyes had darkened with fury he looked down at the cow in my hands. "Erm Carmen…"

I followed his gaze. Somehow amongst all the talking I'd managed to snap the head off the cow in my hands. I stared at it before setting it on the seat next to me, my hands covering my face.

"I am really, really trying to hold it all together right now, but I think I am going to explode if I don't get out of here," I said very carefully to Flack.

"There's a few things we need to clear up before we leave," Don told me, climbing to his feet. He had his game face on and there was hell I could do about it.

"Firstly, does Mac know you've been suspended?" he asked, his phone was already out.

"He will by the end of the day," I informed Flack who was shaking his head.

"Not if I can help it. Another thing, this post traumatic stress, we need to call Gus. She can help us with this." I felt my temper beginning to peak. I was on my feet, leaning close to him.

"I do not have post traumatic stress!" I hissed at him, hands on my hips.

Flack put his hand on my shoulders and looked me straight in the eyes. "I know that, you know that, but we need to get a professional to verify it and Gus has contacts," Flack told me. His fingers stroking my face were beginning to sooth me a little. He cradled my face in his hands, his expression softening.

"Look I know you've had the day from hell, and I promise you I will help you through this. Right now you need to trust me and let me take care of you Carmen," Flack murmured. I closed my eyes and nodded as he planted gentle kiss on my lips.

Flack drew away, his forehead resting against mine, making the situation more intimate as I began to fall into the depths of his eyes, feeling utterly exhausted.

"As soon as we get home, I'll run you a nice hot bath with lots of bubbles and pour you a glass of wine, and help you relax properly before we go to Ray's. Does that sound good?" he asked quietly.

I gave him my first smile of the day. His hand was on the back of my neck, stroking it and bringing me closer into a loving embrace.

"I'm here for you, ok?" he murmured into my hair. I nodded my response, getting lost in his scent and the security of him.

There was a distinct throat clearing. I pulled away from Don; his arms still around me as I twisted my head towards Matt.

"I thought I'd warn you, there's a small media circus outside the front. I think Dresden tipped them off." I felt a rush of anxiety and helplessness run through me.

Flack let go of me to pick up Thomas, who was standing up and reaching for his father.

"This is the last thing I need," I muttered rubbing my temples at the impending headache coming on.

"Matt, can you take Carmen and Thomas up to the Crime Lab and then drive them home? Do not talk to anyone before you talk to Mac," Don advised me, taking charge of the situation. Matt took Thomas from Flack's arms nodding.

"Where are you going?" I called after Flack as he stalked purposely towards the front entrance of the building. He glanced at me over his shoulder giving me a reassuring wink.

"To talk to the press." I stared after him as he opened the door and stepped out into the street.

Detective Donald Flack.

My hero.