101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

In this chapter, Jar Jar Binks will die from being executed by intergalactic criminals…oh and yes, this is another reference to a particular movie…which again you might be able to guess.

Any guesses? It should probably be obvious by the title…

Chapter 53: Crime Family

Our heroes had gotten a spontaneous idea…that wasn't related to killing Jar Jar Binks. They had decided to create a movie based on their various adventures…

How would they get that kind of money, you ask? Let's just say that the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization had decided to give them an enormous check and leave it at that, will you? I don't want to open up an enormous plot hole that would swallow our heroes…although I would enjoy it if our Gungan friend died that way…

Things were going surprisingly well. They had even managed to set up an epic trailer for the movie, one that would be sure to bring in many viewers at the movie theater.

Due to the fact that Jar Jar Binks was extremely annoying like always and they all hated him so much, they decided to have him be the cameraman instead of simply being one of the stars in the movie.

"Lights, camera, action!" squealed the dimwitted Gungan in a cliché manner.

Our heroes were auditioning when suddenly an old friend of theirs showed up…it was Jabba the Hutt, who began speaking to them in a language they couldn't understand.

"What the heck is he saying?" Anakin Skywalker asked.

"He's saying that he wants his son over there to be in the movie." C-3PO informed.

R2-D2 beeped at Jabba angrily.

As it turns out, Jabba had brought his son Rotta with him, who looked rather excited.

"Listen, I'm afraid you cannot simply waltz in here uninvited and demand that your son be part of the movie. That's not how it works." explained Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"I'm pretty sure we have enough actors as it is. We're not doing any more auditions." continued Qui-Gon Jinn.

"Get out of here before I call the guards!" demanded Padme Amidala.

"You're going to regret that…" warned Jabba the Hutt as he left with his crying son, already plotting his revenge.

A few days later…

Anakin Skywalker was in bed, dreaming about making millions…not like he hadn't done so already thanks to that enormous gift the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization had given him for his efforts in destroying the Gungan menace.

As soon as he woke up however, he noticed that something was rather odd.

"Jar Jar Binks, what the heck are you doing in my bed?" screeched Anakin Skywalker. Apparently he had decided to invade the Jedi's privacy, which was somewhat unusual since he would usually do so with Padme.

Jar Jar curiously did not answer. Since when was he so quiet? Last time he checked he never stopped talking, even when he went to bed.

"Giving me the silent treatment, huh? Well, you're going to have to sleep in your own bed. Now get out!" screamed Anakin as he pushed Jar Jar to the ground.

Suddenly, our hero discovered that the alien had been decapitated...and he had gotten blood all over his fine bed.

"Hmm, it seems that Jabba the Hutt somehow severed his head and placed it inside my bed while I was sleeping…alright, change of plans, I'm going to let that slimy son of his be in my movie." thought Anakin Skywalker, not wanting Jabba the Hutt to move on to his friends and family.

After resurrecting Jar Jar Binks, Anakin Skywalker, Padme Amidala, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Qui-Gon Jinn, C-3PO, Rotta the Hutt, and R2-D2 all went off to star in Hollywood.

Their movie did rather well in the box office...suffice to say our heroes would be able to use more expensive killing methods in the future.

In other words, the possibilities of killing Jar Jar were pretty much limited by their imagination at that point…

That's right, I decided to reference the Godfather…oh yes, this is also the third time that Jar Jar Binks has been slain by Jabba the Hutt…perhaps he'll join the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization one day?

See you next chapter, I guess.