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He woke to the smell and noise of bacon frying. He groaned and rolled more into the sofa pulling the quilt further over his head. He doesn't want to be awake. Five more minutes or another five hours would be nice.

"Breakfast?" Laura asks from the kitchen. "I know you're awake."

He frowns and pulls the quilt off his head pushing up to look at her squinting against the bright sunlight. He's not as hung over as he thought he would be. He glances over to find the sofa empty, Brendan gone and the cushion back where it was originally, like he was never there. He turns back to her.

"He's gone for a drive." Laura replies. "'Bout an hour ago."

"I didn't ask." He replies but he was going to. "Did he say where he was going?" Why couldn't Brendan just stay in the house like he had to? He hadn't even asked to go for a ride out in the car yet but he wouldn't be able to take it by himself and he could hardly go for a run like Laura had or even a walk. He was stuck because of his ankle and it was worse when they were gallivanting around.

"No but then it was more 'I'm taking the car'… You two have a late night party?" She asks and it's curious more than anything. "Came down at six to go for my run and you were both flat out."

"No. Just couldn't sleep." He pushes the quilt off him. His stomach is rumbling at him, his body feels heavy and stiff and it takes more effort than it ever should to swing his legs over the side of the sofa. His ankle is a little better, much to his relief he was starting to think that the hospital had missed a break it's still hurts like a bastard but at least the throbbing isn't there. He looks down at the strapping, there's a bruise peeking out just over the top and he wants to see now. He pulls the tube bandage off then un-wraps the bandage underneath. It's a horrible shade of purple, swollen, angry looking.

"Here." She hands him a bacon sandwich and a coffee which he places on the table before lifting his foot for a closer look. With the strapping off it feels unstable even with no weight on it.

She comes back over and sits where Brendan was lying.

"Managed to sort anything out?" She asks, she's not looking at him as she picking up the remote and turning the TV on.

He sighs and takes a bite of his sandwich, there was too much to sort out and every conversation was throwing up more things that were changing his mind on where he stood with Brendan. At the moment it was too mixed up and confusing.

"No then." She states.

"Do you think I'm shallow?" He asks because he needs another opinion just to reassure himself.

"You?" She asks surprised and he can tell she was going to make a joke but then sighs. "I think you only care about what's important so no I don't think you're shallow. Why?"

"Just something Brendan said… He thought I wouldn't want him because he didn't have money." He sighs.

"And you couldn't give a stuff but he thinks that you do." She sighs and shakes her head.

"What?" He frowns. She seems to know something he doesn't.

"In all the time you two knew each other he was pretty well off yeah." He nods. "He had more money than you." He nods again wondering what she is getting at. "He had more money than you so he could provide for you, I'm not saying that you couldn't fend for yourselves before you take my head off, I'm just saying that if you ever needed money he could help you out. Suddenly he hasn't got that, he's not rich anymore."

"It didn't, it doesn't matter." He growls in frustration.

"Not to you but maybe it did to him." She shrugs.

"That's…" He shakes his head.

"Pride."

He thinks about it. Brendan was always trying to protect him, always giving him money even when he didn't need it, although he was grateful when he did need it. He bit his lip.

"So he didn't think…"

"What? That you were only with him for his money?" She shrugs. "I don't know Ste to be honest, but Brendan's pretty alpha male from what I've seen. I'm just saying maybe it wasn't to do with you and it was more to do with Brendan."

He absorbs the idea and reaches for his coffee cursing as his muscles ache at him.

"Stiff?" She asks.

"Seriously." He replies and reaches into his pocket for another pain killer.

"I'll set the hot tub off if you want the warm water might help." She offers.

"I haven't got anything to wear." He hadn't looked through his bag that carefully but he hadn't seen any of his swimming shorts.

"Boxers?" She replies. "It's not like there's anyone to see you."

He looks outside and it's looks pretty sunny not that it matters but he'd rather be outside in the sunshine. He glances at the clock it's nearly noon. There's nothing better to do. It's not like he can go anywhere or do anything.

"Go on then."

She gets up, passes him his crutches and goes outside. He doesn't dare put his left foot anywhere near the floor as he goes to his room sitting on the bed and pulling his bag up, unzipping it and tipping it upside down looking for the most suitable boxer shorts for getting wet. He goes for a black set and changes into them, pulling on a t-shirt and picking up a towel from the ensuite which he wraps around his neck because he needs his hands free, he pulls his hoodie on then makes the pain staking trip to the conservatory and down the steps which are tricky because they are so steep.

He sits on the same chair as the day before and looks out across the valley. It's pretty warm so he takes off his hoodie puts it on the floor next to his towel leans back and admires the view. He just looks at it, he see's a few more things than he did the day before like a farm on the hill with sheep in the field. He traces the walls across and up.

He lets himself get immersed in it. Better to be enjoying the view than thinking about anything else.

The hot tub is bubbling away as he strips off his t-shirt.

It's tricky to get in he has to lower himself down onto his arse before gently sliding down onto one of the seats.

The water feels so nice. Warm and bubbling and he feels his muscles relax a little, he slides to edge of the seat and lets the water lap just below his ears he tips his head back.

"I've got some work to do." Laura states from the top of the steps.

"Work?"

"That's the problem with the internet can't even escape up here…" She replies. "Shout if you need a hand out."

He wishes he could work on the internet. Wishes he could do something constructive for his business instead of lying around waiting for a gangster to calm down or his ankle to heal. He's pretty sure it would be worse if he was stuck in Hollyoaks so close to work and not being able to help out at least up here he's too far away to even think about getting involved.

He leans his head back, closes his eyes and lets some of the tension from his shoulders. The problem with being so far away from work is that he can't use it as a distraction, can't bury himself in it and avoid his problems or at least take his mind off them.

He sighs heavily. He hears a car pull up on the gravel of the drive, at least Brendan came back although given it's Laura's car he couldn't exactly steal it, it's not Brendan's style to steal a car. It's more his old style. He's pretty sure he could still hot wire a car if he ever found the need, not that he'll ever need to but it's part of his old life that makes him slightly proud but a little mortified with himself. It's not really a skill to be proud of but he still is a bit. It's not something everyone can do and it's not like he still goes out jacking cars anymore.

He hears Laura and Brendan talking about something a brief conversation that he can't really hear what's being said but he can hear their voices breaking through the quiet.

He feels the tickle of eyes on him, paranoia that he's being watched and opens his eyes to find Brendan standing at the top of the step looking down on him, he's staring at him. Black t-shirt, dark Jeans, he clamps down hard on his thoughts of just how much he wants to get his hands on that shirt and peel it off. That's not allowed anymore, Brendan didn't want him he reminds himself so he can't.

"Enjoy your drive?" He asks to break the silence, closing his eyes again.

He hears Brendan on the steps then behind his head and he frowns and looks up at him.

There's hunger there, Brendan's eyes are dilated and he realises that he's only in his boxers. Shit. The water was feeling so good easing his muscles that he'd kind of forgotten about his state of undress. And it's that old feeling of being used to being naked or nearly naked around Brendan that had tricked him for half a second into thinking it was alright that he was in a hot tub with Brendan around. It's not ok anymore. Brendan doesn't get to see him like this anymore, although there's fuck all he can do about it now except ignore it. Pretend he isn't soaking in a hot tub with the man who had broken his heart into a thousand pieces, obviously checking him out.

At least he can get from Brendan's expression that he still fancies him. He still wants his body. That's salve to his battered confidence. Brendan may not want him but even after all these years Brendan still finds him attractive, that it's not just him. He feels a little self-conscious because his body has changed, he's not as skinny as he used to be, still has his abs but he's naturally filled out his chest is a touch wider and firmer. At least he knows that it's not a complete turn off to someone who like's his bed fellows like he was when he was younger.

"Go anywhere nice?" He asks and closes his eyes again. If he can't see Brendan it makes it easier. It might be a little childish, the 'if he can't see it then it's not there' idea but he'll take anything he can get at this moment.

"Just around. Needed to get out for a bit." Brendan replies.

"Rub it in." He replies keeping his tone as light as possible. "I'm stuck here."

He can't keep it up. Can't lie back in the water and relax with Brendan so close. He sits up in the seat and tries to figure out how to get himself out with the least drama. He lifts himself onto the stone around the edge and pushes himself up onto his right leg hopping to the chair and reaching for his t-shirt, doesn't care that it's going to get wet because covering himself up, making himself feel less exposed is all that matters right now.

"What's that?" Brendan says and he turns to find him closer than he was fingers close at his back. He looks over his shoulder.

"I got stabbed." He replies. He'd almost forgotten about it, rarely bothered to look at the ragged scar that had been left when the pen knife made such a mess.

He feels Brendan's fingers lightly touching his skin and it tingles sets his skin on fire, just like it used to. Brendan touching him. God he missed it. Despite everything. Brendan's hands on him, he's missed it and he doesn't care that it's wrong, that Brendan shouldn't be touching him because right in this moment he wants it... He's tracing the scar, he can feel every movement of his fingertips. He looks over his shoulder and Brendan moves closer still, he can feel his breath on his neck. His lips tingle with anticipation, his body has always reacted strongly to Brendan's touch, his presence near him.

"How'd it happen?" Brendan asks and his voice is rough around the edges.

"Kids in the park, I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time." He a little too breathless but he can't help it.

Brendan fingers trail up to his neck.

"Happened years ago." He adds as his neck rolls to the side almost as though he has no control of it when Brendan's fingers reach just below his jaw, thumb on his spine at the bottom of his hair line. And Christ if he doesn't want Brendan to kiss him. He arches his neck a little more his mouth falling open.

Brendan moves forward and his chest is on his back, cotton t-shirt suddenly plastered to his skin his other arm coming around his waist over his hips and hand finding it's way to his ads then trailing up to his chest.

Brendan's lips trace his neck lightly, stubble catching on his skin lighting it up, he trails along his jaw line and up to just under his lips and he pulls him back to him. His arse ending up in line with Brendan's crotch and he can feel his dick hardening against him.

He tips his head a little more and Brendan's lips catch his bottom lip and he can't help his lips closing around Brendan's top lip. He leans back into the hard chest and opens his mouth just as Brendan does the same and suddenly it's a full on tongues touching and rolling kiss, just as desperate as the last one in Ireland but slower, he reaches up and threads his fingers through Brendan's hair pulling him down as he push up at the same time. Brendan moans and grips at his hip pulling him back even closer as if it were possible because he is plastered to him can feel every single contour of his body. He takes Brendan's hand from his hip and pulls it around so it's sitting at the top of his soaking boxers then pushes both their hands down under the waistband to his rapidly hardening cock.

"Fuck." He breaks the kiss because having Brendan's hands on him, touching him after all this time is too much. He's on fire and Brendan is tightening his grip around his cock. He leans his head back against his shoulder and Brendan latches onto his neck kissing, nipping then tonguing a trail that's too much.

"Please." Fucking hell he doesn't even know where it's coming from but he's begging. Begging Brendan to make him come because he fucking needs it. Needs Brendan to get him off.

He groans when Brendan catches the head of his cock and works it.

"The noises you make, fuck." Brendan mutters into his neck then brings his hand up from his chest to catch his jaw and tip his head back towards him and he opens his mouth as Brendan mouth his back on his and he pants into his mouth between the dip of Brendan's tongue in and out of his mouth with the occasional closing of lips.

"Ah Bren." He throws his head back again as Brendan hand moves faster.

"Come on." Brendan bites at his jaw. "Come on." His grip intensifies and the slide of his thumb over and over the head of his cock on the up stroke has got him almost there, just needs... "Steven come for me."

It's blinding, utterly blinding. And Brendan's still stoking his cock all the way through it and everything too much, he's too sensitive can feel every touch of their bodies. He knows his groaning, moaning but he's never been able to shut up when Brendan does this to him.

His leg gives out but Brendan's there wrapping his arms around him taking his weight as though he weighs nothing and finds himself sat in Brendan's lap on a chair head back against his shoulder as he kisses him softly on the neck. He shivers a complete involuntary response as he starts to come back down off the high.

Brendan hands are trailing over his front.

"Sorry." Brendan sighs and kisses his neck again.

"You're apologising for that?" He shakes his head still trying to catch his breath properly.

"I shouldn't have..."

"Fuck's sake Brendan I wanted it." He states because Brendan might have touched him first but he was the one that pushed it into something more.

Brendan grips him a little tighter and he lets himself enjoy being wrapped in arms again because he knows this is going to end, knows that there is far too much shit to deal with between them and knows that Brendan is always going to walk away from him but right now he just wants to enjoy the moment because it might be the last time he gets to.