Author Note - There are only 6 chapters left. Thank you, you guys have been wonderful.

"Have you been busy these past few weeks we haven't seen each other?" Dr. Moreno asked, smiling at him. Tony shifted uncomfortably on his cushion. He was still feeling tired, but he came anyway in hopes that everyone around the apartment would stop worrying.

"I don't know. A lot of stuff has happened, but I don't really feel busy." Tony shrugged. He didn't think he could be busy since the only times he got out of bed in the last few days was to walk the dog, because his parents demanded that he do it, or to go out and eat with the team.

"We missed our last session. Why don't you tell me about anything you feel is important?" She asked. Tony knew where she was trying to lead this conversation, no doubt she was informed of his overdose and everything that happened back at the SHIELD base. He didn't want to talk about that, though. He wanted to pretend his problems were simpler today.

"I moved back in with Clint, Nat, and everybody. I think they're better for me." Tony said, shrugging. "They got a dog. He's a nice dog but won't leave me alone." Dr. Moreno nodded.

"How have you been feeling while you've been staying with them?" She asked. Tony fumbled his candy bar in his hands quietly.

"Fine, I guess. I'm not scared of them and I don't feel like they are going to hurt me." He said, still looking down at the candy bar she gave him. He honestly didn't want it, which he thought was strange. He could eat candy all day but right now he didn't find it at all appealing.

"That's excellent. It's very important that you feel safe and secure in your home." She said. Tony looked up at her, frowning.

"Why?" He asked. Dr. Moreno raised her eyebrows, looking over at him carefully.

"Do you not think it's important?" Tony looked back down at his hands at her words. He shook his head because he didn't think it was important. Making sure he was eating and sleeping was important, which he was because they still kept up the stupid routine of him exorcising and eating right to help him sleep and they all got pushy about food. "Tony, being safe often gives people a sense of control to their lives. Feeling in control has found to lead to better physical and mental health. You deserve to feel safe." She explained slowly. Tony shook his head again.

"No, I don't." Tony whispered. What she was describing sounded nice and peaceful. Tony didn't think he deserved that. His mind was always racing with all the horrible things he had done and he knew he was going to be punished for it, he just didn't know when and waiting was becoming unbearable. The team would never do anything bad to him, they promised to protect him. He was going to be punished by something outside.

Dr. Moreno kept talking to him, but he didn't pay much attention. It was like a distant mumbling that he couldn't make out. She was trying to catch his attention, but all he could do was stare at his hands. He hated them, he killed people with them. He had squeezed his hands into tight fists when her hands came into view and lightly covered his.

"Tony, why don't you think about all the good things your hands have done?" She said softly. Tony looked up confused, snapping to attention and realizing he was muttering to himself quietly.

"Okay." He sighed, looking back down at them. He thought lazily, doubting he could think of one good thing he's ever done. Then his mind settled on something and he chuckled softly. "I punched my dad in the face one time. I thought that was a good thing."

"Why don't you tell me about it? What happened or how it made you feel?" She urged.

"He was drunk. And angry. I guess I was sort of sick of him and everything. He grabbed me and I just swung at him." Tony said, pulling his hands out from under hers. "I'm glad I did that. He was terrible for as long as I can remember at I'm happy that just once I managed to fight back. The rest of the day ended up pretty bad but that part was good."

"Are you familiar with fight and flight responses?" Dr. Moreno asked, Tony nodded. "It's how we react when we feel threatened and attacked. Usually when we're in danger our immediate reactions are usually to either run away or to fight. In that moment you felt threatened so you attacked what you thought would cause you harm."

"That makes sense." Tony said, looking up at the clock. They still had half an hour left. He just wanted to go home and lay down and watch Dummy and Lucky chase each other around. "Dummy, my robot. I did good when I made him." He muttered.

"Can I ask you something about what happened in the SHIELD building?" Dr. Moreno said. Tony continued to stare at the clock, trying to will it to speed up. No, he didn't want to talk about anything that happened that day. He nodded anyway. Dr. Moreno was smart, she knew what she was doing, and was trying to make him better. She continued. "What happened in there was you again trying to fight off a threat. How do you feel about it?"

"Bad." Tony said quickly. She sat, waiting for him to continue. "Ashamed, guilty. It's different. They didn't hurt me, I killed them." His voice started shaking.

"You felt threatened, though?" She asked softly. He nodded, they were strange people who clearly weren't SHIELD with guns while he was in a building that sounded like it was exploding all around him. "So you took actions to ensure your survival. Guilt is a normal response. However, in some cases people become overcome with it."

It made sense, Tony didn't want it to make sense. He didn't want to feel better about what happened. He wanted to feel terrible for the bad thing he did because hopefully that would be punishment enough so he wouldn't have to worry about it anymore.

"I want to go home." He muttered. She smiled, nodding.

"You can go home, but I want you to do something for me." Dr. Moreno said. Tony agreed, waiting for her to let him go. "Thoughts cause emotions. Until our next meeting I want you to be mindful of your thoughts and if you start having negative ones I want you to cut them off and think about everything you're thankful for and everything that makes you happy."

"I'll try." He said, standing up to leave and let Clint come in to talk to her.

He walked out into the waiting room and walked over to where the archer was sitting, nose stuck in a gossip magazine with pictures from some celebrity baby plastered all over the front. Clint looked up at him as Tony approached, but he just gestured to the door. He sat down quietly by the door of the waiting room far from the chairs. Clint smiled at him before going into the office.

Tony waited in silence, resting his head against the cool wall behind him. Clint came back out several minutes later and they headed out to the car. It had started raining while they were inside, the late October weather making it come down so cold he was surprised it wasn't ice.

Once they got home Tony went straight for his room. He closed the door behind him, expecting someone to come over and ask him to leave it open so they could keep an eye on him. They didn't. Instead he just stood by the door and listening to the muffled voices in the other room. Tony made out several words, trying to put together what they were saying. They were worried, he wasn't getting any better.

Tony's mood plummeted. Of course he was getting worse. He had long stopped expecting everything to be wonderful and okay. He didn't deserve everything to be wonderful and okay. But Clint, Natasha, Bruce, Thor, and Steve deserved to stop worrying and to be happy. Tony felt like he was ruining that for them. He shook his head quickly, frowning at the negative thoughts pushing into his mind.

He wasn't supposed to do that, Dr. Moreno had asked him to try to focus on happy things. Tony couldn't focus on anything happy. All he could think about was how he was ruining everyone's day and causing them to worry, how he had left Dummy behind, and how he killed those people. He sat down on the ground by the door, still listening to them talk about how they were going to help him.

I'm hopeless. Can't help me. Tony thought bitterly, closing his fists as the cold began to seep through his still damp clothing. Dummy saw him begin to shiver and started grabbing the blankets off his bed to drag over to him.

"Dummy, go plug yourself in." Tony muttered. The robot hesitated, looking him over. It laid the blankets down over his legs before going over to the outlet, plugging in, and going into sleep mode to charge.

He pushed the blankets off of him angrily. He clenched his teeth at the rapid thoughts pouring into his mind. Why couldn't he do better? Why did he have to make them worry? Why was he so horrible? He couldn't take care of Dummy, he did nothing but make his family worry, and he killed people. He raised his shaking fist and threw it down onto his thigh, repeating the motion over and over as his shivering became frantic and tears streamed from his eyes.

He stopped when scratching on the other side of the door. Tony groaned, the dog again. He leaned away from the door to open it slightly and Lucky lurched into the room, jumping up to put his paws at Tony's shoulders and lick his face. His tears fell more rapidly as he grabbed gently and Lucky's fur and buried his face into it. Clint must have fed him pizza again because that's exactly what he smelled like.

"I'm sorry." Tony whispered as the dog whined. "I'll get better, smelly pizza dog. Just have to think positive." He said, standing up to strip out of his wet clothes and into his pajamas.

Tony picked up his blankets that Dummy had dragged over and carried them over to the sleeping robot. He grabbed his pillow off the bed and laid down quietly next to Dummy, covering up tightly as Lucky laid down next to him. Tony ignored everything negative that popped into his head and tried to make a list of everything he was happy about. Rhodey and Lei still texted him every day even though he never felt like hanging out. He was happy they wanted to keep in touch. He had his GED and didn't have to go to boring high school anymore. He was happy about that. He still had the candy bar that Dr. Moreno had given him in the pocket of his jeans. He could eat it later and that would make him happy. He had loving new parents and a robot and dog that tried to take care of him. That made him very happy as he fell asleep right on the floor, curled up with Dummy and Lucky.