Disclaimer: Don't own.
:}
For a Friday, Compared to most schools, or even itself from just a few months ago, Hollywood arts was fairly relaxed. By this point, the students knew what was expected of them, and those who were in performances moved ahead through the rehearsals at a steady pace, learning their lines and mastering their performance's. Those who weren't performing that weekend were also busy, seeking out the parties that represented their type of fun. All of it was done in a measured pace, because they had learned that panic only makes things worse.
Then there were those behind the scenes. The directors, the effects people, the ones who do props and makeup. Even the writers. All the people who are there to catch the performers when they do panic, as often happens shortly before the performance. Today was Jade's play, the class project, and they were ready to fix whatever needed adjusting so the play would seem to flow naturally.
Tori was ready, her costumes done, and like everyone knew her lines and ques. But she could see Jade pacing, and knew that her girlfriend was sure something would go wrong. She decided to ease the pressure on her girlfriend. "Jade, relax, they'll love it." She said, not sure how much longer she would be able to handle the black belts fidgeting.
"But the curtain goes up in just" Jade stopped to look at her phone, "Nine hours. Nine hours, and I'm not sure what I need to fix." She rushed the few steps to Tori. "Maybe if we went through it again..."
"Or," Tori said, "Once study hall ends, we can slip into the janitors closet for a little stress relief."
"Tori, be serious, How can I fix things if I'm busy playing squeeze toy for you?" Jade bit out.
"Squeeze toy?" Tori asked, her eyebrow raising. Letting that go, the singer sighed and tried something different. "Jade, the reason you can't find the flaw is that the play is as good as it's going to get. Now relax, we've reached the point where there is nothing more you can do. It's time to let go and have faith in the actors and others you've trusted to bring your story to life."
"And how do I do that?" Jade asked.
"How did you ever put on any of your other plays?' Tori asked, feeling even more frustrated.
"I directed, and frequently starred in them." Jade replied, like that was the most obvious thing in the world. "I made sure that the cast knew my vision, and were able to produce something close. Even 'Well Wishes', where I cast Cat cause I knew she'd understand what I was trying to say."
"So you've never let go and trusted others with your work?' Tori asked, though she had a pretty good idea of the answer.
"I'm letting Trina have one of the songs I wrote." Jade replied. "Well, kinda wrote. I did the lyrics."
"You wrote that?' Tori asked, impressed. "I thought the rhythm was kinda fast for Trina, but she's pulling it off, so far."
"Good." Jade said, pulling Tori in close, and kissing her nose.
"Can't you wait five more minutes?" Miss Rosewood, the study hall teacher, asked. Neither Tori nor Jade dignified that question with so much as a blush.
The tree toned bell rang, and they headed out to lunch. Once Tori and Jade had their meals, they joined their friends at their usual table. "So, Jade explode yet?" Beck asked.
"I think one freshman's going to be in therapy for the rest of his time in school." Tori said. "Including college."
"What'd Jade do?" Beck asked, his voice showing the resignation to having to somehow fix this.
"She yelled at her locker for not opening quickly enough. Poor girl was caught in the blast radius." Tori explained.
"That's what she gets for not reading the safety pamphlet." Cat said. Everyone looked at the red headed spy master, not sure what to make of her statement. "That was a joke, right?" She asked.
"Yes Cat, it was a joke." Beck said slowly. "We" he gestured around the table, "Aren't used to you making that kind of joke."
"Oh." Cat said. "Kaykay."
"Plays sold out." Robbie chirped in.
"Sold out?!" Jade said at normal volume but with such intensity that everyone was still startled. "SOLD OUT?!" She shouted. "IT..."
Tori kissed her to keep the goth from shaking up the entire Asphalt Cafe, partially because she knew that the in the know students would run, and then they'd have to explain to the others why that may have been a good idea.
"TORI?" Jade shouted. But the objective had been achieved, and Jade wasn't freaking out about tickets.
"Relax, your brother got tickets a week ago." Tori assured her girlfriend.
"And you know this how?" Jade accused.
"Sinjin told me." Tori said, smiling. "Besides, I'd have made sure there were tickets put aside anyways. I know how important this is for you."
"So everyone has tickets?" Jade asked.
"Trina will be distributing most of them at the dojo today, after school, and the rest will be distributed by Adam, after he picks them up from Trina. Sinjin confirmed the number, and I sent a couple of extra just in case." Tori said, smirking. "Love me now?"
"Yes, I love you, now can we drop it?" Jade said, sounding frustrated.
"You know, you can thank me tonight." Tori said, her voice getting sultry.
Jade sighed. "Sorry Tori, I know you're trying to help. I really do appreciate it. It's just I'm so stressed, kinda where you were yesterday."
"We could start by you giving me a nice massage, maybe with some warmed scented oils." Tori continued.
"Tori, I apologized." Jade snapped. "The least you could do is accept, or let me know you rejected it."
"I heard you, and I accept." Tori said. "But after the initial rubbing, things might get a little hotter, as you're hands slip down my body, and start to explore."
"Tori!" Jade whined. "Not in front of our friends."
"Then you realize you'll have to straddle me to get the right pressures, so you remove your white outfit so it wont get dirty." Tori continued.
"OH, we don't mind." Beck said.
"I roll over so you can do my chest, and I see your bare breasts hanging above me, in all their glory." Tori seemed lost in the thought.
"Speak for yourself." Andre said. "Tori's like a sister to me, and I don't need to hear my sister fantasizing about sex."
"Tori..." Jade warned.
"So large and firm, I just have to touch." Tori continued, and Jade was worried that her girlfriend was starting to drool.
"But Jade naked, that I'm down for." Andre added.
"Andre..." Jade warned.
"Oh, right." Tori stopped, suddenly realizing who was privy to her no longer private fantasies. "Sorry, that was a really satisfying fantasy about... massage. I love a good hot oil massage."
"Awww." Cat whined. "I wanted to hear how the story ended."
"Cat, I think you wouldn't like how..." Robbie started, pausing as he looked for words.
"Tori, were you going to finger Jade, or just rub against her?" Cat asked.
Silence overtook the table, and Cat looked like the she'd just eaten the canary. After letting them sit in shock for a minute, Cat asked "Jade, you've met my brother, right?" Jade nodded. "And you think I've never heard of sex? I know, understand even, far more about it than most of you think I would. Probably more than any of you do. So yes, I'm innocent, to a point, but I know the difference between fantasy and reality, and I choose to live in the fantasy. Now Jade can relax about the whole family chiz, they're coming. And later on, when she thanks Tori for making sure her family would get to see her work, they'll be cumming." Cat smiled, looking around the table. "Come on, that was a clever pun! You know what, forget it. You'll think about it later, and you'll laugh." She nodded toward her friends. "Robbie." She said, nodding, and walked away.
"I think you upset her." The nerdy boy said. Of course, inside he was still reeling. This was a side of Cat no one knew exsisted.
After lunch, they went their separate ways, knowing they'd meet back in Sikowitz's class. For some reason, they had him last on Fridays, but today it would help, since everyone in the class was involved in the play, in one way or another.
Jade spent the class before the acting class lost in thought. To help keep herself from drifting too far, she doodled. 'Now I'm reduced to doodling, how sad is that?' she asked herself, not sure if it was right to answer. Her stress wasn't reducing. Instead, she was beginning to realize that this performance anxiety was present in everything she'd ever done as an artist. She had it before she submitted everything she wrote, from plays to stories to reports. She had it for every part she played, up to and including Mandy Walker. In some way, the fear she'd attributed to the pre-fight jitters was actually performance anxiety. It would be better to be beaten to a pulp then to admit she was nervous, afraid that the people watching would want their money back. And the fear was there now, eating away at her.
Unlike the past, she was not in control of this play. She'd written it, but the music was multiple peoples, including Andre and Tori, while the actors and director set the tone. None of that mattered, not to the imaginary critics in her head, the ones she'd learned they had to be harsher than her father ever could be, or Jade would be subject to ridicule and told how worthless she was. That feeling, of failure, of being utterly worthless, was familiar. She knew she'd rather die than let her family down. She'd rather die then let her father down.
And she knew why it was so easy to accept being choked out by Shelby Marx. She knew that she'd rather die then admit she was weak, that she was distracted by how much Shelby looked like Tori, and she very nearly succeeded.
But the insight, the understanding of how the need to be seen as good enough, pushing herself until she was nearly dead, out of the belief that it was better to be dead than seen as anything less than perfect, it didn't ease her tension. No, Jade still was nervous. It just wasn't so bad that death, or even maiming, would seem to be a pleasant alternative to tonight performance.
"Okay students, we're working on tonight's play, and since it's a class project, we'll be spending the rest of class working on whatever needs to be completed." Sikwoitz announced, and Jade cursed herself for getting lost in thought.
'I came here on auto pilot.' Jade thought.
But as the students wandered off to deal with whatever needed to be finished, most of them found themselves sitting around as the actors did the last rehearsal before the opening night. Everything was done. Every costume, every look, every song and every choreographed dance step. Even the fight scene that Jade had no idea why they threw it in was done. They were ready.
"Okay my students, it's time to relax. Curtain's in two and a half hours, so don't get too far." Sikowitz announced. "Jade, a word please."
Jade stayed behind, as did the rest of the gang. "What?" She asked, trying to sound as calm as possible.
"I was just making sure you understood, while we have two hours, we don't have time for you to be wearing out my lead actress." He said, smiling.
"How about I take that lead actress out for some food." Jade suggested.
"Sure." Tori said.
"Where are we going?" Andre asked.
"I think we're going to Nozu, or karaoke daoke." Beck said. "I think they're going someplace else."
"OH!" Andre said. "Just be back in time for opening curtain."
"And don't wear her out." Cat said.
"I heard Sikowitz." Jade snapped.
"I wasn't talking to you." Cat said.
"CAT!" Jade yelled. The redhead jumped. "Suggestive you is creeping me out."
"You want me back to happy 'little red?'" Cat asked. "Okay, deal with the sexual tension. I swear, I'm afraid of what Jade will do if she doesn't get some relief. Just, you know, after the play." With a wink, Cat skipped off.
:}
Cat isn't as innocent as she seems, or maybe she is. They gave hints at both on the show. But she definitely knew about sex.
And oh yea, OMG, fifty chapters? That's almost a year! This freakout brought to you by... Insert sponsor here.
