Disclaimer: Mash-up. I merged my favorite book as a kid with my favorite book as an adult. The basic premise is from Elizabeth Cadell's 1955 "The Lark Shall Sing," while the characters and setting are from Charlaine Harris' Southern Vampire Mysteries. Cussing, kids scheming, white trash, anything having to do with sex was NOT in the original Cadell book, okay?


Fashion Mini-Chapters:

This section originally posted in June 2010. I got the idea that I wanted to emulate Charlaine Harris and describe what everyone wore to breakfast with Bill. I posted a fake chapter asking readers for suggestions on what everyone should wear to breakfast. So to the Original Readers currently doing the reread, THANK YOU! This was the most fucktardedly wonderful part of the story. As I wrote, I realized I was wasting a golden opportunity if all I did was describe them dressing. So, instead, we get to spend a little quality time with everyone as they get ready for breakfast.

IMPORTANT: To see what everyone looks like and their wardrobes, click on the "see Return of the Stackhouse Six page on my blog" link on my FF profile page.


Chapter Fifty: Eric Gets Ready

Monday morning found Eric awake rather early. Frustrated after a rather unfulfilling sleep, Eric felt the need to expend some pent up energy. Deciding to go for a run, Eric was surprised he didn't encounter anyone, either inside or outside.

Back in his room, dripping wet and clad only in a towel, Eric answered a knock at his door. Hoping it might be Sookie, he was unsurprised to see that it was Pam.

Following a barely perceptible nodded greeting, she spoke. "Guess who's coming to breakfast?"

What is this? Pam's version of a knock-knock joke? Okay, I'll bite, he thought. "Sidney Poitier?"

"No. Guess again."

Bracing himself, he asked,

"Who?"

"Douche bag"

"What?"

"Douche bag says what!"

With that, Pam thrust something into Eric's hand. Eric shook his head. He could only surmise Pam was spending a little too much time with Hunter.

"What's this?" Eric found himself with a rolled up t-shirt in his hand.

"One of the teacups found it. They're lobbying for you to wear it."

Eric opened up the t-shirt and laughed. "Seriously?" Contemplating the potential ramifications of wearing the t-shirt, Eric had to acknowledge wearing it was a pretty messed up thing to do. It might even be the 21st century equivalent of challenging a man to a duel. Quirking his brow, he punctuated his question nonverbally to Pam.

She smirked and nodded. "Yes, well. The boys were your find. Take it up with them. You could always throw another shirt over it but it would be a shame to cover those guns, Eric. Arm porn is all the rage these days."

"Hmmm." Eric shook his head. He did not think Sookie would find it funny. Fuck. He grinned. Everyone else would.

"What the hell size is this?"

"Don't be a princess. It'll fit you. It'll just be snug. Are you going with them to Hotshot? You, your pecs, and a t-shirt two sizes too small might make that whole mess dissolve like cream in coffee."

Eric frowned. He could normally handle Pam—hell, they'd been friends since college. But he sometimes wished she could rein herself in until after breakfast. He could tell by her tone she meant 'cream' in multiple connotations. All things considered—from what Eric had heard about the women of Hotshot—their 'cream' was not something he wanted any direct knowledge of. He certainly didn't want the fucking image planted in his mind before he had a goddam coffee.

Pam.

Who was standing in front of him tapping her foot. For the first time he noticed what she was wearing. "Pam. What the hell are you wearing?"

Pam smiled. "Just noticed, huh? It's Amelia's old schoolgirl skirt."

"No. Not that. The t-shirt."

"I think it speaks for itself."

"'Vagitarian'? Yeah, I suppose it does. You think that's appropriate to wear to breakfast?"

"Eric. Now you're sounding like a douche bag! Lighten up. Barracuda already wants to drive a stake through my heart. Who cares if I'm wearing a progressive t-shirt that speaks of tolerance and acceptance?"

"They don't have 'Predatory Lesbian', do they?"

"I'm gonna have some made up."

Eric nodded. Reconsidering, Pam was right. Sookie was going to make whatever decisions she was going to make, irrespective of what t-shirts he or Pam wore to breakfast. She might as well get full insight into what she's in for. He glanced again at the t-shirt in his hand and laughed. It was pretty damn funny.

"They say it even looks like him," Pam told him.

"Yeah?"

Pam nodded.

"Okay, I'm in."

Pam nodded once more. "I'll let the teacups know."

Eric nodded, shutting his door after Pam. He hadn't given too much thought to what he was wearing to breakfast. Honestly, he'd been too preoccupied by the thought of meeting Bill and seeing the woman he fully admitted to being infatuated with interact with her still-as-of-yet fiancé.

He knew Soookie didn't want things to devolve into a pissing match, and he had promised her he would do what he could to keep things 'nice,' but he had also been painfully clear in his assertion that he would take whatever actions he regarded as necessary if she did not live up to her end of the bargain. With her decision not to talk to Bill the previous night, Eric was starting to feel a bit concerned that she was not living up to her promise. As that was the case, Eric had no compunctions about taking the actions he felt necessary.

Truth was, if she didn't want him around all she had to do was say the words and he'd be gone. But she hadn't done that. He knew she wouldn't do that. But she was caught up in this thing. He needed to get her to stop feeling insecure about them and just allow herself to accept him and accept them.

For some reason, she was having a hard time with this decision to break up with Bill, even though she knew it was the right one. Maybe it was her headstrong nature. Maybe it was antithetical to her worldview, her vision of herself. Maybe she felt an obligation to Bill, a sense of responsibility. Maybe she worried that if she broke it off with him, he'd be alone forever.

Well, whatever it was, it wasn't a concern of Eric's. Eric just needed Sookie to keep to their agreement. If she didn't, she would learn the hard way that he would keep her to it.

Returning to the decision of what to wear, Eric dropped his towel. The sun's rays filled the room setting his naked form aglow like a mythical sun god.

He pulled the too-tight t-shirt over his head. Looking in the mirror he laughed, shaking his head.

He went to grab a pair of briefs from his dresser drawer when he suddenly changed his mind. Deciding nothing quite said 'I'm home' like going commando, Eric opted to forgo briefs and instead just pulled on a pair of jeans.

He grinned at his vision in the mirror. He'd have to go back to filming later in the week. It would be hard to go back to work given how much fun he was having at Camp Stackhouse.

He considered putting on flip-flops but then opted to forego those as well. If going commando said 'I'm home," then going barefoot said "I'm not leaving."

Chuckling to himself, Eric left his room to start his day.


AN: Hmmm. So, whatcha think of Eric's wardrobe decisions? I must say I really can't fault his logic. Made perfect sense to me.

Next Up: Bill *shakes head*

Don't forget to check the blog for the cast and wardrobe selections. Bill's such a douche one of his links disappeared and I had to track it down and repost. So if anyone tried and didn't get to see "Bill's Hat" - the link has been repaired.

Voting still open on Funniest Character on my FF profile.

:D more to follow.