Disclaimer: The world and characters belong to J.K. Rowling, and I claim no ownership whatsoever. I only own my original characters and their names.
~HP~
As tradition dictated, Boxing Day came and went, and the holiday fervor in Britain finally began to die down. Life slowly went back to normal, whatever normal was for any particular person. Although, it seemed that everyone had one unsavory chore on their agendas. The blizzard that blew through on Christmas Eve left much of northern England buried under three feet of snow, and many cars and doorways needed to be dug up if anyone had any hope of making it back to work on time. More than a few prayers were sent up to the heavens that another foot would not be cruelly added onto that.
Rose and Severus woke very early to take care of their pavement. In another life, they might have been out there with every other Muggle living on that block, merrily shoveling snow to the tune of their neighbors' grumblings. But why would they do that when they had magic to make those petty little chores easier? The only trouble with that was that they had to do it at a time when the Muggles couldn't see them, which meant they had to get up before the sun had a chance to rise. It ended up being Rose who ventured out at five in the morning with her wand tucked discretely down her sleeve. With sharp turns of her wrist, she sent huge chunks of packed snow flying back, and once she had a clear walkway, she used a blast of hot air to melt the ice that had formed on the ground. Severus felt terrible as he watched her from the window. He would have liked to have been out there helping her, but Rose had been very firm. She didn't want him out in the cold for very long, and he shouldn't have to do that sort of work while pregnant. It wouldn't take very long anyway, she added, so it was easily a one-person chore. If only that one-person chore did not include subzero temperatures and knee-deep snow. As the sun gave its first peak over the horizon, Rose stepped back into the entrance hall with soaked trousers and lips that bore a visible shade of blue.
"I'm sorry you had to do that, Rose," said Severus, breathing in the steam that was rapidly filling the bathroom. Rose had decided that a nice hot shower was a good way to defrost, and she insisted that Severus keep her company. He sat and talked to her from a moderately comfortable spot on the toilet. "I would have come out and melted the ice for you."
"Never mind, Sev," Rose said as she ran her fingers through her long, wet hair. She could feel every muscle relax as the scalding water dripped down her naked body. Just on the other side of the shower curtain, she could see the silhouette that was her darling Potions master. "I know how your pregnancy makes you hypersensitive to the cold. I feel better taking care of that stuff myself. It was no big deal."
"No big deal? The ends of your hair were forming icicles when you came in." Severus leaned his back against the warming porcelain, and he crossed his arms over his swelling middle.
"Better me than you," said Rose with certitude, and she pulled the curtain back slightly to look Severus in the eye. Though she was a little more lax than in the Gryffindor showers, she still had enough sense to keep certain bits hidden from view.
Severus noticed this from his seat across the tiny room. He saw how large drops ran down the slim figure behind the curtain, hugging the delicate curves of Rose's body, and he felt a shiver of hesitancy in his stomach. It was a bit strange, really. Rose had been all over him the past couple of days, so keen to pleasure him when the moment called for it, especially since finding out about his pregnancy. He knew in his heart that he wanted intimacy with Rose, and he knew that would grow with privacy. But he hadn't imagined that they would reach such a deep level of affection this soon into their relationship. For Severus, sex was something too consequential to rush into so hastily. What made it worse was that he had hardly anything to go by on that matter. When faced with that bare closeness, with Rose's discarded clothes lying on the floor before him, Severus wondered if they were ready to take that step, if he was ready.
"Yes, I suppose," he sighed, diverting his eyes down to the dingy tile beneath his feet. "But don't feel that you have to do everything for me. I'm not as delicate as my condition suggests."
"I know, but you can't be too careful." Rose smiled at him. "You know, there's room enough for one more."
Severus looked up at his sopping Gryffindor. There wasn't a trace of mischief in her misty blue eyes, though her tone told Severus that Rose would not object if he wanted to join her. But instead of jumping at the subtle invitation, he got to his feet and bent over to grab her clothes off the floor. "I think you need that hot water more than I do. Speaking of which, I'll go put on the kettle downstairs, that way you can have a cup of tea waiting for you when you're finished."
Rose nodded, though not without concern. She noticed the sudden dip in Severus's voice, and his persistence to keep his eyes off of her. At first, Rose thought Severus was just trying to be modest in the face of her state of undress. But she soon began to wonder if there was possibly something more to it. "Severus?" she spoke up as the pregnant wizard opened the door to leave.
"Yes Rose?"
"Is everything alright? Did I say something wrong?"
"No, not at all," said Severus, shaking his head. "Take as long as you need, love. I will be waiting for you in the kitchen." And with that, he was gone. He shut himself out, keeping the heat inside the tiny bathroom. Rose stood confused for a moment, now sure that it was something she said. Severus had been fine up until she made that little suggestion. She hadn't been suggesting anything in particular, but perhaps she should have thought about how it would sound coming from her mouth. She swallowed a hard knot of worry as she retreated back into the hot rush of her shower.
~HP~
Later that afternoon, Rose sat in the sitting room alone. Casually flipping through television channels, she kept an ear open to the front door. Having noticed how weary Severus appeared by that time, as well as the slight ache in her joints, Rose decided that it would be a nice idea to break out her mum's fifty pound note and order some take-away food in. Severus surprisingly agreed, and he pointed to the phone book that had recently been dropped on the doorstep. He insisted that he accompany Rose down the street to the nearest working phone box, even though he was feeling the drag of their early morning. But Rose assured him that she would be safe in that dodgy neighborhood, so long as she had her wand hidden away in her coat. She then promptly sent Severus upstairs for what appeared to be a much-needed nap.
As she came to realize that there wasn't anything worth watching that evening, Rose looked around at the books surrounding her, and she started to feel the little nip of curiosity beginning to creep in. Quietly, she hoisted herself out of Severus's armchair, adjusting the wrap jumper her mother had sent her for Christmas, and she began to wander up and down the length of the room, running her hands over the rough bindings. Rose hadn't really been the nosey type in the past, but she did have her moments were she let her interests get away from her and it caused her to poke around slightly. And in this room, it was almost impossible to keep her interests at bay. Severus wouldn't mind if she looked through some of his personal library again. It was an intellectual need, he could understand that. Rose briefly paused at the odd thought of calling herself an intellectual before she continued on with her quiet snooping.
She glanced over several intriguing titles, covering a broad range of magical theories and techniques. There were books on obscure potions ingredients from all over the world, and spell books that told of magic she had yet to see, even in her seventh – nearly eighth – year of study. But Rose didn't have to open these books to know what some of them contained. She somehow knew that her fingers were potentially grazing over some very dark magic. And though she knew there was no one around to see her reading about it, she never wanted to take the chance of delving into it. Severus had told her time and time again that she should never have to know about that sort of evil, and she wanted to respect her lover's wishes in his own home. She passed those over in favor of more promising subjects.
She was about to reach for a book on potion ingredients of the Siberian wastelands when something near the floor caught her eye. A small black book sat on a low shelf, tucked in close to the corner of the room. There didn't appear to be anything printed on the old, flaky binding, and even if there were, Rose might not have been able to read it through the layer of dust it sported. Rose crept over and bent down onto her knees. She carefully pulled the book off the shelf, taking a strand of cobweb with it. Like the binding, the cover was so aged and worn out that the words blended into the dark background. Rose brushed off the unreadable title, and she used her thumb to pry the delicate book open. Rose was perplexed by what she saw.
It was a Gobstones manual…of all things, it was a Gobstones manual. This was truly bizarre, Rose thought to herself. Severus had never really liked sportsmanship of any kind. Gobstones in particular was up high on his list of petty annoyances, and frankly, Rose could agree. It was a pathetic little game, a waste of time even. So why would Severus have a decades old strategy guide in amongst his personal collection? Rose wondered if it was something left over from his school days, but she quickly dismissed that idea. Even if Severus did have an interest in the game when he was a boy, this book looked far too old for that. Actually, it looked like it was older than Severus given its state of decay. Rose started flipping through the pages, looking for a clue of some kind. She noticed that all over the stained pages, someone had written little notes to themselves, mostly ideas and strategies for future matches. Rose couldn't help but notice that there was something oddly familiar about this, that the handwriting was just a little too similar to the delicate scrawl of her Slytherin lover.
All of a sudden, Rose heard something slip out of the pages and fall to the floor. She looked down briefly and then picked up what had landed before her. Her brow scrunched up as she studied the photograph in her hand.
A woman sat motionless inside the rectangular borders. Long lengths of lank black hair were tucked behind her ear as her dark, hollow eyes stared off into the distance. Her face was angular and gaunt, and the sallowness of her skin was intensified by the black and white film. And as Rose's eyes travelled down, she saw that her shoulders and torso were just as thin. She wasn't the ugliest woman Rose had ever seen, but she wasn't a beauty queen either. The young Gryffindor turned over to the back, hoping to see a name written there. But all that she saw was a quick scribble that spelled out the year 1961. There was no name, nor any clues to this woman's identity. Setting the open book down in her lap, Rose concentrated on the photo. It was a Muggle photograph, but did that mean the woman was a Muggle? And if so, how did Severus know her?
The Gobstones book slid down Rose's legs and hit the floor in front of her. Rose might not have paid any attention if she hadn't heard what sounded like a page coming loose. She looked down to see that a second photo had fallen out to the creases, and she reached for it instantly. The same woman was pictured, but this time a man was with her. The longer Rose stared at him, the more she realized that she was looking at the spitting image of Severus. He had the same hook nose, the same defined cheekbones, and the same sullen glare. He must have found the camera rather amusing because his eyebrow was cocked as he stood in the background of the shot. The unnamed woman looked back at him with a smile that could be taken as affectionate, letting Rose know that she must have known this man and known him well. She looked on the back again, and yet again, there was only a date. If it was to be believed, this picture was taken in 1959. Rose pondered for a long while, trying to piece together what she had in her mind. And with every minute that ticked by, one thought slowly started to overtake the others.
"Rose?"
Rose flinched slightly before looking up to see Severus coming down the stairs. She smiled warmly at him. "Hey Sev," she said. "Have a nice nap?"
"Yes, I feel much improved," replied Severus. He glanced down and noticed the book lying open, and his face fell when he saw the photos in her hand. "What are you doing?"
"I was just looking around," Rose explained. "I hope you don't mind."
"Where did you get those?" Severus pointed to the pictures, his voice becoming rather hard.
"They were stuck in the pages of one of your books and fell out. That reminds me, you didn't play Gobstones while you were at school, did you?"
"Give me those," demanded Severus, making his way over to where Rose knelt. He held out a tense hand to her, ordering her to hand over the photos. But Rose didn't make a move to oblige. "Why?" she asked. "Who are these people?"
"It doesn't matter, just give them to me!" The bark in Severus's tone made Rose quickly hand him the photos, avoiding the need to rip them from her grasp. Severus probably glanced at them for a split second before folding them up and stuffing them into his pocket. He cleared his throat slightly before turning his attention back to Rose.
"Sorry about that," he said, back to his calm demeanor. Rose wrinkled her brow in her confusion. "But Severus, I –,"
"Just let it go, Rose. It doesn't matter, no harm done. However, I will take that book, if you don't mind."
Rose cautiously closed the delicate book and placed it into Severus's waiting hand. "Why is it that you have a Gobstones manual amongst all this?"
"Oh, it accidently ended up in an order I placed to Flourish and Blotts several years ago," Severus explained to her. "I meant to dispose of it then, but for some reason, it slipped my mind." Rose would have liked to believe him, but there was something in Severus's tone that was making her suspicious. Something about that book and those pictures were bothering him, and that bothered her in return.
She was about to open her mouth to speak when they both heard a hearty knock at the door. She exhaled as she looked at Severus. "That'll be our dinner," she said.
"Very well," Severus sighed. "You take care of the Muggle. I'll see to this." With a gesture to the handbook in his hand, the Potions master turned and headed back upstairs. Rose watched him go as she searched her pocket for her mother's money. Even as she opened the door to greet the young Muggle delivery boy and handled the exchange of money and food, her mind was firmly fixed on her boyfriend upstairs.
That reaction all but confirmed her initial suspicions.
~HP~
"Those were your parents in those pictures, am I right?"
Severus's head snapped up from the potions book Rose had given him, and he stared down to where Rose was seated on the floor. She was leaning on the low table in front of the sofa, working on a Divination essay, with an open textbook on one side of her, and what was left of her meal on the other. The Gryffindor looked to him with a cautiously curious face. "If you must know, yes," he said before going back to his reading.
Rose reached for a ketchup-covered chip and quickly popped it into her mouth. Once she had swallowed, she opened her mouth to speak again. "Now Severus, I –,"
"Rose," Severus interrupted with a sharp hand. "I understand that you are curious, but I would really prefer not to talk about this."
"But Severus," said Rose as she sent down her quill and crawled over to Severus's chair by the fire. "It just doesn't make sense to me. All this time we've spent together, with everything we shared, you never once mentioned your family. Why is that? Why is it that the only photos I've seen of them were crammed into the pages of a musty old book?"
"I can't really explain it that easily, Rose," said Severus. He let Rose creep up and rest her arm on his leg. "It's a very long story."
"As it is with much of your life," said Rose. "Come on, Severus. Is it really so wrong for a girl to ask about her boyfriend's family?"
Severus sighed, closing his book and setting it to the side. He gently ran his fingers through Rose's hair, massaging her scalp. He knew that there was no easy way out of this, if Rose was being her usual stubborn self. But at the same time, he wished there was something he could do to end this discussion before it even began. Very few had even a remote clue about his family history. Sometimes, it was to protect himself, as was the case with the Dark Lord and his followers. But most of the time, it was simply due to Severus's refusal to talk. Dumbledore knew that Severus had not had a happy childhood, but he didn't know the half of it. Potter caught a glimpse of the torment Severus went through during those disastrous Occlumency lessons, and Severus had to admit a grudging respect for the boy in keeping that memory to himself in his post-war press interviews. The only person who really knew the depth of Severus's pain was Lily, and there was a part of the jaded wizard that one time hoped that tragic tale would die with her. Though Rose was now the center of his world, Severus still could not bear the idea of divulging such deeply guarded information for the sake of his girlfriend's youthful curiosity.
"What do you want me to say?" he asked. "My parents were Tobias and Eileen Snape. My mother was a witch, my father was a Muggle, and this was their home. There isn't much more to tell, as far as I'm concerned."
Rose paused, not really knowing what to make of such a short explanation. Her flaxen brow shadowed her eyes. "There has to be more to it than that. Family is never that simple."
"Family is whatever you make of it," Severus simply stated. Puzzled, Rose took his hand in hers. "It sounds to me like you're not very fond of them if that's how you put it."
"It isn't that, Rose," said Severus, pushing himself up out of his armchair. He strode slowly about the room for a few seconds before easing down onto the sofa. "I don't want you to feel like I'm keeping anything from you, but Rose, you have to understand. My relationship with my parents is far too complicated to look back on my childhood fondly."
"Severus, you know this is me you're talking to." Rose got to her feet and walked over to join the wizard on the sofa. "I know what that feels like, just look at my family. It's okay, I'm all ears." Severus offered her a slight smirk, but it was only to keep her content. She didn't know what it felt like at all! Her parents had both made their share of mistakes, but there were worse things a parent could do to their child.
"I suppose it's safe to assume that it wasn't easy growing up," said Rose, reaching for another chip and encouraging Severus to do the same. The baby would like it, she said to him. Severus did as he was told, but only for the baby's sake. At the moment, food was the furthest thing from his thoughts. As to Rose's notion, he shook his head indignantly.
"Money was always an issue when I was young. My father was a factory worker, which wasn't the most reliable source of income. At one time, he worked at the textile mill up the hill, but it closed down when I was seven. After that, he went from job to job, all of which had meager wages. We were living week to week a lot of the times, and with only the bare essentials. You could just look at this house, and you can see what that was like."
"I thought it was funny that you lived in a place like this," Rose murmured, looking around the room. "But what about your mother? Didn't she do anything for a living, just to supplement your father's income?"
"She couldn't, she had me," said Severus. "Up until I started school, I was her responsibility. Besides, my father always said it wasn't a woman's place to work outside the home. Even when I went off to Hogwarts, he told her that it was his job to bring in the funds they needed to survive."
"I see," said Rose. She inched closer to Severus's side. "What sort of a witch was your mother?"
"My mother…" Severus let his mind slip into his old memories, thinking of the old photos that he had hidden away in a drawer upstairs. "She was a fairly mild-mannered woman, a capable witch in her own right. I would love to sit here and tell you that she was this gifted sorceress who held the world in the palm of her hand, but that would be a fantastic lie. She wasn't one to perform these complex feats of magic, not even when she was in school. I believe she could have gone on to do better things, but she was content with just being the captain of the Hogwarts Gobstones team."
"Oh, so that was her book I found!" Rose gasped in understanding. Severus nodded. "Yes, it was hers. But I will say this about my mother. Though she was not the most powerful witch to walk the British Isles, she was very proud of her heritage. She was proud to be of Wizarding blood, and she was a proud daughter of Slytherin. Everything I learned about our world as a boy, I learned from her. "
"She looked like a pretty distinguished woman, judging by those pictures in the book."
"Well, she came from a distinguished background. The Princes were a noble pure-blood family. They might not have been one of the most recognized families in our world, but they did have their modest wealth and their purity to boast about. My mother was raised to mingle amongst the highest-bred of Wizarding aristocracy."
"And yet your father was a Muggle," Rose thought aloud, not sure if that was the right way to approach it. Severus saw past the slight bewilderment to see the true inquiry teetering on the tip of Rose's tongue. "Hard to believe, isn't it? A Death Eater with a Muggle parent. As you can imagine, it was during those years that Occlumency came in terrifically handy. Not one of those despicable bastards knew how closely related to the enemy I was."
"But how does a pure-blooded witch end up with a Muggle man?" asked Rose, and Severus looked at her with an amused cock in his brow. "The same way a pure-blooded wizard ends up with a Muggle woman. My mother might have been raised to believe certain things about blood purity, but she didn't want to be shackled into an arranged marriage simply to keep her offspring pure."
"She wanted to have a say in who she married," said Rose. "But a Muggle? Think about it, Severus. My father was thinking with his crotch when he married my mother, totally disregarded blood purity for good sex. With a woman, it's totally different."
Severus sighed. "I think it was the fact that my mother was not the most accomplished of witches after seven years of school that made her believe that blood purity didn't matter as much as she once thought. She had been told that they were superior, and yet she was just average. So when she met my father, blood status just wasn't important to her."
"How did your parents first meet?" asked Rose. "What was so special about this Muggle factory worker?"
"Honestly Rose, I don't know," said Severus, shaking his head. He could feel his unborn baby fidgeting inside him, almost as though it was reacting to his growing unease. He moved his hand to his swelling middle to soothe it as he continued. "My mother first met my father not long after she left school, when she was living away from her family. But I honestly have no idea what she saw in that man. Of all the Muggles she could have picked to rebel with, she picked my father. He was a slave to industry, and had only a few thousand pounds to his name. He wouldn't have been able to come close to the lifestyle that she was used to. And it wasn't like he could make up for it with personality. He was terribly hotheaded, and he had hardly any grasp on eloquent language. He said what he meant, and he meant what he said. Being such a timid woman, I suppose my mother would have found such spontaneity attractive."
Rose shrugged, beginning to form a picture of that young romance in her head. But so far, it wasn't looking very pretty. "What did her family think about the relationship?"
"They didn't like it at all. Honestly Rose, how else would a self-respecting pure-blood react to their child running off with a low-class Muggle? But Mother could not be persuaded to change her mind. For whatever reason, she loved that man, and she wanted to be with him."
"How did your father feel about your mother being a witch?"
It was simple, harmless question, but it was enough to make Severus's stomach lurch. He suddenly stood up from the sofa, tugging at the hem of his frock coat, and smoothing his hands over his baby-bump. Rose shifted in her seat, following him with her eyes as Severus started for the stairs. "Where are you going, Sev?" she asked.
"The baby is getting restless," said Severus, lying only slightly. "I think I should go lie down for a while." Rose nodded, however hesitantly, and Severus slowly walked up the steps toward the bedroom.
Rose sat confused on the threadbare cushions. She looked down at her unfinished essay, but she could no longer focus on her schoolwork. All she could think of was that abrupt end to that conversation, and how her question had gone unanswered. Severus was calm on the outside when he went upstairs, but Rose could still tell that he was upset. She could see that just by looking in his eyes. But what was it about that question that would cause Severus to walk away without so much as an attempt to explain? Rose pondered what she had said to him. With her experience in Muggle Studies, she knew that not all Muggles understood magic. Her own mother did what she could to ignore it, and Harry grew up in a cupboard because of his relatives' intolerance. She had heard many stories of narrow-mindedness, with results ranging from the trivial to the extreme. But what did that mean for Severus? That's when she remembered what Severus said about his father. He was a short-tempered man, and he sounded like he had no filter. And the way Severus talked about him, it sounded like there wasn't much fondness behind it. Actually, it seemed there was a bitterness to her Potions master's tone.
Rose's eyes widened, and she gasped softly when she realized that she knew that tone.
She set aside her books and parchment, and banished her chip-covered plate to the kitchen. Rose then calmly made her way upstairs, fighting off the instinct to fly up those steps like a bat out of hell. She knocked twice on the closed bedroom door, but there was no response. Feeling a twinge of concern, Rose pushed it open with a creak. Severus sat on the edge of the far side of the bed, his back to the door. He turned around at the sound of the door, and Rose saw in his eyes the black hollowness that she dreaded to see. Her heart sank into her stomach.
"Coming to bed, Rosie?" said Severus, his deep voice much too soft for Rose's liking. It was then that she looked out the tiny window and noticed how dark it had become outside. She stepped into the room and leaned against the wardrobe.
"I don't know, are you?" she asked. Severus stared at her for a long moment until he realized what she meant. He then sighed and turned his face away again. "I have a lot on my mind."
Rose sighed. "Why do I have a feeling it's because of my last question?"
"You really are persistent, love," Severus said with a hint of his casual sarcasm, although that was being smothered by his tired drone. "I told you before that my family life was complicated, and that had a great deal to do with it. I apologize for leaving you so suddenly, but I thought it was better to get off that topic before it got to be too much."
"But you also didn't give me an answer," reminded Rose, catching Severus's breath in his throat. He looked back to where she leaned her back against the hard wood of his wardrobe. Rose continued. "Severus, you once told me that I would feel better if I got over myself and talked about my family. It's obvious to me that you've kept this locked up for too long, and you need to get it off your chest. Have you not spoken to anyone about your parents?"
Severus shook his head. "It wasn't anyone's business to know."
"Even if you would have benefited from it. You don't have to take my word for it; I'm just an eighteen year-old kid. But if Dumbledore were standing here right now, I'm sure he would say the same thing. It's time to let it all out and get it over with. How did your father feel about magic?"
"Rose, please don't make me," Severus pleaded, clinging to control of his voice.
"I'm being firm with you this time, Severus," warned Rose. "But it's for your own good. How did your father feel about magic?"
"Rose –,"
"Don't make me ask it again!"
"He didn't like it, alright?!" Severus finally snapped. All the suppressed anger in the pit his stomach started to bubble up to the surface as he vented on in a raised voice. "He considered magic to be unnatural, an outrage. I can't say that my father liked much of anything, but he always took a special interest in that displeasure. He forbade the use of magic in his house. And if he ever caught my mother performing even the smallest spell, he made sure that she paid the price."
Her jaw dropping open, Rose slowly slunk down to sit on top of her closed trunk. Already, she felt like there was a hard stone in her stomach. "What would he do to her?"
"He would put her in her place; call her a freak, an abomination. He would ridicule her that a witch was not a desirable wife, and he sometimes threatened to leave her if she used magic around him. My mother had to keep her wand hidden away under the floorboards, and she only felt safe to take it out when he was away at work."
"But why did she marry him if that's how he treated her?" asked Rose. "Why would anyone subject themselves to such verbal abuse?" Severus took a few deep breaths, glancing down at the floor. But just when Rose thought she wouldn't be getting a response, he spoke. "Why did your father stay with your mother?" he asked in return.
It took barely a second for the meaning of that question to sink in, and Rose felt like she had been punched in the gut. "She got pregnant…"
"She didn't have any other choice," Severus explained grimly. "Her family had already distanced themselves from her, but once she got knocked up, they completely disowned her. She no longer had any claim to the Prince name, and she had nowhere else to go. My father proposed to her the moment he found out, and Mother accepted on the hope that life would get better if they were married."
"Well, did it?" asked Rose, her voice getting smaller. She hoped that there would be some light in this story, but that hope was dashed when Severus shook his head.
"If there was ever a time they were happy together, I can't remember it," he said. Rose swallowed hard, and she slowly walked over to sit beside Severus. "They fought a lot, didn't they?"
"All the time," said Severus. "They fought about anything you could possibly think of, about money, work, their marriage. And it only got worse and worse with every year that passed by."
"That must have been so hard on you," said Rose, not really sure if it was right to make that assumption. Severus leaned in over himself and started massaging his temples. Rose brought her hand up to gently rub his back.
"It was hard in the sense that I didn't have a real relationship with my parents," said Severus. "When my father got angry, he would often take it out on the first person who got in his way, and that was almost always me or my mother. Even if it had nothing to do with us, he would use us as his punching bag, and his moods could change in an instant. Because he was so volatile, we had to do what we could to stay on the right side of his anger, and for me, that meant distancing myself from him. The moment he walked in the door at the end of the day, I would disappear into my room down the hall and I wouldn't come out until he stormed out to go sit in a pub somewhere."
"But that left your mother," Rose whispered before she could stop herself. Immediately she regretted it when she felt Severus shudder as he took in a sharp breath.
"He would come stumbling in late at night, reeking of booze, just looking for a fight. He was a hostile man to begin with, but when he drank…I can't describe him any other way, Rose. He was a monster. The things he did to Mother when he was drunk, they bear repeating!"
"He wasn't violent with her, was he?" asked Rose, her voice now starting to slowly hike up in pitch. Severus pressed his eyes closed, exhaling hard. "She was lucky if he was sober, because at least then, he knew what he was doing. But it didn't matter either way. His hand was far too heavy for her to ever be safe."
Rose's jaw dropped open, and her breath was shaky as she tried to inhale. "Oh Severus…"
"Don't say it, Rose," said Severus, his voice now starting to break, and it got worse with every word. "Don't say that you know how that feels because you don't! Your upbringing was tough, but you never had to deal with anything like that! You don't know what it's like to be a small child, crouched in a corner, watching your father backing your mother into a wall with a raised fist, screaming at her the entire time. You didn't have to listen to the sound of glass breaking, pained cries, and the insults being thrown at her. It didn't matter if he was drunk or not, or whatever he was attacking her for, he always called her the same things. He called her worthless, brainless, a freak with no use but to be his whore! He blamed her for all of his problems, and he made her pay for it. You don't know what it's like to be seven years old and having to comfort your sobbing mother when it was all over."
Rose sat frozen on the bed as a tear dripped down her cheek.
"You're right," she choked out. "I don't know what that's like. I mean, my father is an arsehole, but at least he was never a drunk! And as much as he hated my mum, he never once raised a hand to her. How could anyone do something like that? That was his wife he was beating, did he have no respect for her at all?"
"No," Severus growled, rising from the bed to start to pace the floor. "He had no respect for her, and he had no respect for me. Sometimes, he would attack her because of me. He said that it was her fault that I existed, that she was just breeding others like her. He said that I would grow to be just as useless and freakish as her! You don't know how many times he told me how insignificant I was for something I could hardly control."
"But you were his son!" Rose cried, fresh drops falling down her face. Severus turned his back to her, but it was only to hide from her the tears that now threatened to spill from his eyes. "As if he didn't know that. But I was never going to get anything more than an acknowledgement as long as I was magical. My mother wanted me to know everything about our world from an early age, but it wasn't safe as long as he was around. If he ever got wind that she was encouraging my abilities, he would smack her around until she sobbed that it would never happen again. And when he was through with her, he would turn to me."
"No…" Rose gasped. Severus fought to control the emotions that were tearing his insides to bits at those dark memories. "He only had to beat me with his belt once for me to know that I had to stay out of his way."
"Please don't say that he hit you often," begged Rose, wishing she could rewrite a story with a few simple words.
"He would have hit me more often if my mother hadn't been there to stop him. He would come after me for something as benign as a broken teacup, and my mother would throw herself into a row to deflect the attention off of me. If anything, many of my beatings came when I was older, when I had finally had enough of his shit and had the gall to get between him and Mother."
"You stood up for her," Rose said in an attempt to encourage Severus. "Your mother had to be proud to see her son do something like that."
"If she was, I never heard," Severus croaked, his throat closing up on him. Rose was confused. "What are you talking about?"
"Not all of their fights were about me, but they happened enough that my mother realized that she couldn't give my father another reason to criticize her. She tried to care for me as best she could, but she was always afraid of him calling her a bad mother on top of everything else. Once I was old enough to take care of myself…she…"
"What, Severus?" said Rose, clutching at her heart. "What did she do?" Her heart dropped when Severus turned to her and showed her the utterly lost expression on his face, wet trails under his deep, but empty eyes.
"She ignored me," he whispered. "She only gave me the basics, and nothing more. There were days when I was a student where I could barely get the time of day from her. She no longer talked to me about magic; that was the school's job. And she only wrote me once every term when I was at Hogwarts. To think that if she took an interest in my education, that would have made her a bad mother! By paying me notice when I needed it, she was doing wrong!"
"She had no choice," Rose boldly stated, and Severus realized that she was exactly right. "The point is that at least she tried to be a good mother to you, against the odds you were living with. But Severus, I still don't understand. If your father was a drunken bastard who abused his own wife and child, why didn't your mother ever leave him?"
"You have no idea how many times I asked her that when I was a boy." Severus stalked across the room and eased down to sit on Rose's trunk by the wardrobe. "Apparently, she did try to leave him when I was an infant. She bundled me up and took off while he was at work. But she didn't get very far. She had a family who wouldn't speak to her, and she had no money of her own. She ended up going back to my father because she had nowhere else to go, no other means to survive."
Rose now felt a burn of anger in her stomach. Severus didn't have to grow up the way he did if his mother had been able to find some other way to escape. But what else could she have done? She was cast out of a pure-blood family with too much pride to be able to fully love their daughter. They would rather send her back to the vile Muggle they hated than admit that their daughter bore a half-blooded son. They both could have gotten away if blood-purity remained the fable it really was. Suddenly, everything that her father did to her in keeping her from her namesake seemed completely irrelevant.
"It's not right…it's not fucking right!" Rose spoke in a harsh hiss, feeling the fire in her gut rising up to the surface. She took several hard breaths before turning to look at Severus. "Where are they now?"
"Dead…both of them," said Severus, bluntly despite the hitch of emotion.
"What happened to them?" Rose asked carefully. She didn't even know why she would ask such a stupid question given how upset Severus already was.
"When I was sixteen, my mother fell ill…it was cancer. Though she knew there were treatments available to her at St. Mungo's that would have helped fight off the disease, or even just buy her more time, my father refused to let her go. Instead, she got the crude Muggle treatments, and only what they could afford. I knew that my mother was fighting an up-hill battle. After what she and I had been through together, she deserved to live out the rest of her days free of that kind of pain. And yet I wasn't there to help her through it. So while I was at school, I started researching. Since my father wasn't helping her, it was up to me. I wanted to create a potion that would be able to cure her completely." Rose nodded with raised eyebrows, now fully understanding where Severus's interest in those sorts of medicinal potions came from.
Severus continued. "I lost house points for breaking into the restricted section, I got detention for illegal experiments, but I didn't care. All I cared about was trying to save her…" He paused, his chest heaving as his eyes started to well up again. "But…but in the end, I was too late."
"Oh god, Severus!" Rose cried, and she flew across the bed to fall at Severus's feet. Severus clenched his teeth against the sob that fought to get out, but he once again regained enough control to continue speaking. "It was February of my seventh year, and I thought I was close to cracking the potion. But one day, Horace Slughorn showed up during a Charms lesson, and he pulled me out of class. He took my up to the headmaster's office, where he and McGonagall were waiting for us. They then sat me down in front of Dumbledore's desk, and he told me that my mother had passed on the night before."
"Oh Sev…I'm so sorry," Rose wept in her sympathy, gripping Severus's knees.
"I didn't know what to think…the one person I had left who remotely cared for me was gone. I had failed her when she really needed me. The only thing I could actually think to ask was whether or not it was peaceful. Dumbledore assured me that it was a quiet passing…her death was the most peaceful thing to ever happen to her." Severus tried to wipe away his offending tears, but Rose just reached up and took his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.
"They allowed me a few days away from Hogwarts to attend the funeral. Even in death, I felt sorry for my poor mother because the only people who were there were myself, my father, and a Muggle priest."
"How did your father react to her passing?" asked Rose.
"He took it as well as he took anything in life. He seemed so numb those days, like it hadn't totally sunk in." Severus glanced down at the positively perplexed look on Rose's face, and he shook his head. "Don't think on it too much, it doesn't make sense to me either. Honestly, I thought he would be glad she was dead. Instead, it was like he was left with this huge void."
Rose shrugged her shoulders. "There's no way to really predict how people like that will act."
"I wish someone had told me that back then," said Severus. Rose noticed that the hand that rested at Severus's side was starting to tense up into a fist. "After the funeral, we came back here, and my father started to drink his way through the cellar. I suppose I got lulled into some sort of false security because he got me to join him, and he talked to me like I was at least human. It was during this conversation that I told him what I had tried to do."
"You told him about the potion?"
"I thought he would simply dismiss it, revert back to calling me a freak. But I could never have predicted what actually happened. He flew into a rage, and threw me against the wall. He blamed me for my mother's death, that it was my failure that killed her." Severus abruptly stood up to pace again, pushing Rose to the side. "He shouted to the heavens that if I never existed, she might still be alive. He then broke a bottle over the table and came after me…he beat me within an inch of my life before I could turn and fight back. In all the battles I have fought in my life, I never thought that the worst would be against my own father. We were both battered and bloodied when morning came."
Still down on the floor, Rose was crying again. But she didn't give into her heavy emotions and sob, no matter how natural it felt. Instead, she simply breathed hard through her nose, leaning on her trunk for support. It was amazing how much it hurt to feel this way. But then, Rose had never felt such an onslaught of both sympathy and anger in her life.
"That night was the last time I ever spoke to my father," Severus further explained. "When I returned to Hogwarts the following day, I thought myself an orphan because that useless drunk was dead to me. And evidently, he thought the same about me…you know, Rose, I joined the Death Eaters right after I left school. But it wasn't because of blind ambition or zealotry for the cause that sent me running to the Dark Lord so young. It was because once I was part of those ranks, I would have a reason not to return to this house that summer's eve."
"You just wanted to get away from your father…"
"As far away as humanly possible. I disappeared into the very world he detested so violently, and he became a ghost of a memory. Those were some dark years, but I was happy to be free of that torment. When the Dark Lord and his followers did those unspeakable things to Muggles, a part of me liked to imagine it was my despicable father they were torturing."
"What became of him?" Rose asked, already imaging the horrible things that could have happened to that sinful lout, all of which he rightfully deserved.
"He died four years later of liver disease," said Severus. "It figures, the fucking bastard drank himself to death. I wouldn't have known at all if the Muggle authorities hadn't somehow tracked me down to come identify his body. I still don't know why I went. All I remember was how I didn't feel a thing when I saw him laid out on that slab. By then, he was just another man, another dead man. So I did what I thought was the most appropriate action. When the coroner asked me if that was my father, I told him, 'I have never seen him before in my life.'"
Rose's eyebrows arched up upon hearing that. "You dumped him on the Muggles?" she asked, unable to mask the stun in her voice. Severus rolled his eyes as he turned around to stare down at her.
"He showed me no respect in life, so he would receive none in death," he said. "And I mean this when I say it, Rose. If I knew where that pitiful sod was buried, I would take immeasurable joy in dancing on his grave." If someone else had said that to her, Rose would have fiercely laid into them with a razor sharp tongue. But Severus had a point. If you lived a life like that, did such terrible things to your own family, then you deserved to die in that fashion…forgotten. As far as Rose was concerned, this Tobias Snape had a nice cozy spot in Hell especially for him, right beside that of one Lord Voldemort.
Severus finally grew weary of his angry pacing, and he sat down on the bed to lean in over himself. He gave a heavy sigh, and in a flash, Rose was at his side. Wrapping her arm around his shoulders, she leaned down to rest a cheek on the Potions master's shoulder, and she pressed a tender kiss to his temple. "May I ask one last thing?"
Severus shuddered under Rose's hands, but he did open his mouth to speak. "I suppose…"
"Why did you come back to this house after all of that?"
"When my father died, all my parents' possessions and assets were automatically passed down to me, and that included the house. I was twenty-two years old, I had just started teaching at Hogwarts that year, and I needed a place to stay when school was not in session. It made sense to return here for the summer holidays instead of spending it in dingy, dirty inns, as was my habit in my years as a Death Eater. However, if I was to do that, I had to do what I could to erase what had happened all those years ago. So I got rid of much of my parents' belongings, and I destroyed every photo I had of them, save for the two you found this afternoon."
Rose looked down at the wood floor, and she sighed softly. She then went back to comforting Severus as best she could. "Oh Severus, I'm so sorry. I just…I just feel horrible…all those times I called you a miserable git."
"Truthfully speaking, you were within your limits to call me that," said Severus, using the cuff of his sleeve to wipe away what remained of his tears.
"It still wasn't fair to you. But in any case, it's all over now."
"No Rose," Severus shook his head at her. "Pain like that never leaves you, no matter how many years go by."
"But Severus," Rose said as Severus straightened himself up to look at her properly. "You must look at this another way. You made it out alive, you made a life for yourself, and you became a better man than your father was."
Severus stared her in her blue eyes for what seemed like an eternity. He then took in a shaky breath. "Did I? Did I, Rose?" He pulled out of Rose's grasp and stood up. "When I was a child, the only man around to model was my father. But what good did he do for me? He taught me that life wasn't worth living if it didn't go your way, that you couldn't trust anyone around you, even those closest to you. He taught me that pain could only be cured through self-medication. And he taught me that the only way to solve your problems was with force. I grew up in fear of him, made me hate those like him! He forced me to depend on a helpless mother, whom he had already intimidated to the point where she rejected me. And he single-handedly drove me down a path that I never should have gone down! And now you see the result…" Severus turned to Rose and spread his arms out to her. "Look at me, Rose…look at me, and see what I've become."
Rose sat deathly still on the bed, her breath growing shallow and faint. But before Severus could degrade himself any further, she floated over to shut him up with a kiss. She gently stroked the side of his face as she pulled away. "I see nothing but a brave, incomparable wizard who's done far more good than he will ever know. You're an incredibly courageous man who stared death in the face, and bled for our freedom. You show immense courage even now in carrying this child." A warm hand found its way to Severus's stomach, which Severus protectively covered with his.
"You're greater than you know, Severus," Rose continued. "I have never met another man whom I have been so blessed to know. If your mother could see you now, she would be so proud to call you her son. And I know that your child will be just as proud to have you as their father."
"They won't if I can't care for them properly." Severus walked past Rose and strode back across the room. Rose followed him with her eyes, craning her head over her shoulder. "What are you talking about?"
"For weeks, people have been telling me that I will be a good father. But how do I know that I even have the ability? What if something happens to me after the child is born? What if I don't know how to parent in any other way?" Severus exhaled hard as he turned back to Rose, who was slowly approaching him. "I don't want to become my father, Rose. I don't want to hurt my child the way that he hurt me."
"And just saying that tells me that you won't," said Rose. She wrapped her slender arms around his torso. "Between you and me, Severus, we have seen every single way a man can fail. And whether you choose to see it that way or not, that will help you become a better father. You know exactly what not to do when raising your child. If anything, love, remember this. There is one thing that separates you from your father. You know how to love, and you know how to love properly. It was love that kept you going for all those years, and it is love that you live for now. And for that reason alone, your son or daughter will never know the same pain that you went through."
"That possibility might never have existed if not for my love for you," Severus told Rose, holding her close to his chest. "I only wish that you could have told me such things sooner. Why is it that you always know the right thing to say?"
"I think that's a matter of opinion," Rose commented, the sound of her voice slightly muffled by Severus's frock coat. "But when you have lived through as much as we have, you get pretty good at consoling people. Come on Sev, you know me. I wouldn't say it if I didn't think it was true."
Severus's first instinct was to shower Rose with words, telling her how much he loved her. But he quickly decided to spare the gushes and romanticisms, and he brought her chin up to capture her lips with his own. He could feel Rose's nails on his back, gently moving over the rough fabric of his frock coat, sending an eager shiver down Severus's spine. The kiss deepened, Rose leaning further into Severus's body, causing him to stumble back against the wardrobe. The fervent couple didn't miss a single beat as their tongues battled for dominance.
They broke apart after a long moment, but only to catch their breath. Before Severus knew it, Rose was holding his face, and she was attempting to devour him again. He snogged her right back, cupping the back of her head, tresses of red hair weaving between his fingers. Severus could feel his heart racing, his blood rushing. All of his pounding instincts were pushing him towards one thing, and despite attempts to resist, Severus realized that he just couldn't take it anymore. He wrapped a strong arm around Rose's waist, and lifted her up off the ground. He then carried her over to the bed.
As soon as her back hit the mattress, Rose went to work on the many buttons of Severus's coat, popping them out of their holes with remarkable speed. Severus in turn let his hands wander all over Rose's body, touching every curve. But when he realized that his impatient fingers had found the button of Rose's jeans, he stopped. Hesitating, Severus tried to straighten himself to sit upright, but Rose caught him by the back of the neck.
"No…" she softly gasped. "Don't stop."
Severus anxiously stared down at the breathless woman underneath him with a wrinkled brow. "Rose…what –,"
"I want you, Sev…I want you so badly." Rose went back to wrestling with black buttons. But Severus pulled away from her. "Rose, Rose, just…just slow down." He settled down next to Rose.
"Severus, what's the matter?" asked Rose. "Are you alright?"
"Yes, I'm fine…"
"Then what's wrong?" Rose sat up, gripping a handful of the wizard's clothes. Her face was calm and relaxed, but Severus could see a twinge of worry in her eyes. "Don't you want me?"
"I do, but –,"
"It's me, isn't it?" Rose interrupted. "I came on too strongly, didn't I?"
"No, no Rose," replied Severus, rather weakly. "It's not you…it's me."
Rose reached up to gently touch Severus's face. "What do you mean?"
"There's…there's something you should know, Rose," said Severus, taking her hand and caressing it in his lap. He had wondered how exactly he would explain his unique little situation to Rose, the fact that they were about to cross a line in their relationship where she might be more experienced than he was. He had toyed with the idea of simply dropping it on her when her mind was lax and lenient, but since Rose herself hadn't brought up anything of a sexual nature, he rejected it. Severus realized that when it came to their consummation, he would only have a limited amount of time to come clean about that embarrassing truth, to covey to Rose how special she was for this to even happen. But now, it seemed that borrowed time had run out.
Severus gently squeezed Rose's hand as he looked up at her. She gazed at him serenely, comfort radiating from her beautiful blue eyes, and Severus felt his nerves relax a little. Gathering together his courage and doing his best to push down the shame, he blew out a breath before he began speaking.
"I probably should have told you about this sooner, but the truth be told, this is moving a little too quickly for me. You see…" Severus swallowed hard, feeling the sweat form on his forehead. "The encounter that resulted in my pregnancy has been the only encounter I have had."
Rose's expression stayed soft, but a certain inquiring stare escape her eye as she processed the statement. Her gaze wandered down Severus's body before travelling back up to meet his obsidian eye. "Severus, are you trying to say what I think you are?" There was another deep breath, and then Severus nodded slowly.
"I have never been as intimate with anyone as I have with you. Some might argue that my child's conception counts, but I would hardly consider that to be affectionate."
Rose stared at her lover for a moment, continuing to look him up and down with careful eyes. Her silence made Severus start to worry that he had turned her off with his greenness; he was twice her age, why wouldn't she? But after a while, Rose smiled warmly at him, and she leaned in for a generous peck. "Well…I guess we'll just have to figure this out together."
And just like that, all of Severus's muscles relaxed. It was embarrassing to be in this situation with so little experience, but it felt better to know that Rose still had her own sexual innocence to help put him at ease.
Rose captured Severus's mouth again, moving to kneel before him. She gently got her hands inside his unbuttoned frock coat, easily slipping it over his shoulders. And the feather-light touch of Rose's fingers on his back made Severus throw his whole being into that kiss. Rose started unbuttoning Severus's shirt, stopping only to let the Potions master pull her jumper over her head. Shirtless and panting, they tongue-wrestled for several long minutes before completely falling over onto their sides. Their trousers and underclothes were tossed to the side, and Rose held onto Severus's upper body as he unhooked her bra. That too went flying to the pile of clothes on the floor.
Severus had to stop for a moment, feigning the need for breath. He sat up in bed, staring at Rose in all her naked glory. He saw her slender body in its purest form, every last feature adding to her virginal aura. Long locks of hair fell across her bare chest, but Rose's hand came up to brush it back over her shoulder, letting Severus get a full view of her. Whatever light there was in the little room was illuminated in her pale skin, giving her a haunting, alluring glow. To Severus, Rose had never looked more spectacular.
But when his eyes travelled back up to Rose's face, Severus did not see the same sort of reaction. Rose was staring at him, no distinguishable emotion in those beautiful blue wells. One of her hands hovered at her breast, almost like she was holding it there to prevent it from reaching out. Severus followed her eye-line, and his heart sank when he realized she was looking at his exposed belly. Rose said that she would take him as he was, pregnant or not. But would that hold up when faced with his condition uncovered for her to fully see?
"Change your mind?" he asked, his voice shrinking to timid levels.
Rose sat still for a little while longer, that same entranced look on her face. She reached out to softly touch the warm skin of her lover's stomach, feeling his unborn baby turning under her palm, and Severus tenderly touched her hand. Rose looked up to smile, but paused suddenly. She moved closer, close enough that Severus could feel the raw warmth of her body against his. And just before Severus could open his mouth to speak, Rose brought her hand up and gently touched his neck.
She had never seen the scars left behind by Voldemort's near-fatal attack, not this clearly at least. She always knew they were there, hidden beneath Severus's high collars, but she never dared to ask about them. There were moments when Rose thought she wouldn't get the privilege; personal trauma aside, Severus didn't like to throw around his more recent recognition in their post-war world. But to see those healed slashes and punctures for herself, the result of her lover's ultimate heroism, it created a surge of emotion that made Rose fall in love with Severus all over again.
He was not a perfect man, but he was hers…and she wanted him with all her being.
She showed her affection and desire by nuzzling into Severus's neck, and Severus shuddered as he felt her wet lips on his skin. He groaned, relishing in that incredible sensation, forgetting the pain those scars had once brought him. Rose's kisses slowly became gentle bites, coaxing a harder groan from the Potions master. Severus brought his hands up to caress Rose's body, and he heard her humming moans resonating in his ear. Her nails dug into his bare back, fingers pulsing into tensing muscles. Severus took the sides of Rose's face in his hands and he attacked her mouth. He didn't even realize that they were moving downwards again until Rose's head and shoulders landed on the pillows.
Severus looked down at the woman underneath him. Her hair lay scattered about her, and her legs were already splayed to the side. Lights puffs of breath brushed against Severus's neck and chest. And her soft eyes were locked on his, wordlessly pleading him to take her. Still so young, yet no longer a child, she yearned for love beyond any she had ever known. Severus could hardly believe that this angelic thing was his.
'I'll be gentle…' he silently told her, and with a last deep breath, he lowered himself onto her.
The world faded into nothing around them. Time became a meaningless detail, meant to be forgotten. Nothing else existed so long as Severus was consumed in Rose. Their hard breaths melded together as separate movements became a fluid one. Clasping hands tore at the sheets, gripped at the headboard above them, pawed at sweaty skin. Severus felt Rose all over him. He felt how her hands would grip and bruise his back and shoulders, and then relax and fall away. He felt her tense legs twitching with each soft grunt she gave. He felt as her fingers lightly stroked the bump that brushed against her own taut abdomen. Severus pressed his eyes closed, and he listened to the sound of Rose's panting muffling his labored gasps. He heard all of Rose's puffing declarations of love and pleas to keep going, heightening the instincts that Severus relied on in his clouded, passion-drugged state. Never before had he felt anything like this. He had never been so taken by such a powerful sensation that took control over his entire body and mind. All of the pain that he had endured in all his years could not add up to this overpowering ecstasy that could only be found in the love he held for this woman. He never wanted this to end! He never wanted to let go of this pleasure, this euphoria!
Rose called out for more, her gaping, animalistic grin not hindered by the tear that dripped down the side of her temple to mix with her sweat. Severus opened his eyes to see this, and he thrust his whole being into his need to pleasure her the way she did him. Together, they danced love's dance, finding harmony the way nature intended, and creating an intense heat to melt away winter's icy hold on the world outside.
It ended with a great keening moan and a breathless cry.
Severus rolled over onto his side, his heart pounding and still breathless. His whole body felt limp and tingly, so much so that he couldn't sit upright to dress again. All he could manage was to pull the covers over his and Rose's still naked bodies. Already, he could feel his eyes slipping closed. The feeling that sex stirred up in him was just phenomenal, but it drained him both of strength and energy. He was exhausted, but it was the most welcome exhaustion that Severus could ever recall. He relaxed his tired body into the mattress, gradually allowing his mind to nod off.
But just before he could fall asleep, Severus felt the bed dip behind him to the sound of rustling sheets, and Rose snuggled in to spoon him from behind. Her arm draped over his torso, and she rested her hand on his swelling middle. The baby gave a sleepy turn; it seemed that Severus and Rose were not the only ones who were tuckered out for the night. The sleepy Potions master covered his young love's hand with his own, caressing his unborn child together, relishing in one last touch of passion before they both slipped into a long sleep.
"I love you, Sev," Rose whispered into her older lover's ear. "I love you so much. No matter what you think of yourself, you are the most amazing man I've ever known. You always have been, and you always will be."
"I love you too, Rosie…so much. Please…don't ever leave me." Severus's hold on Rose's hand tightened ever so slightly. He had waited far too long to know love's full power, holding out for the woman he could hope was truly meant for him. And now that he had her, now that he had felt the ultimate passion of sexual relations with her, he didn't ever want to go back to the way life was before Rose stumbled into his world. He never wanted to be so alone ever again.
Rose nuzzled into the back of Severus's neck, dusting his skin with gentle butterfly kisses. "Never Sev…I will never leave you. You have all of me now, my heart, my mind, and my body. I will always be here beside you. Nothing will ever keep me from being with you."
Severus said no more, choosing instead to let Rose's touch lull him to sleep. He wondered how a life so flawed could become so right. He was born into despair, and raised in contempt. He had been abandoned by all those he loved, left alone to a life of self-loathing. He had always assumed that his fate would be no better than that of the miserable souls who brought him into their wretched world, and yet he now lay with a woman who brought him boundless happiness. This was never supposed to happen, to have a woman who loved him so wholly with everything she had. But now that he at long last had everything he wanted, Severus was not going to give it up for any reason. He knew he had mountains to climb ahead of him as his pregnancy advanced, but he wanted his beautiful Rosie there with him through every minute of it. He had given everything to Rose; his body, his heart, his very soul. With one heated, passionate moment, he had devoted himself both to her and to the intensely secret life they shared.
There was no going back now.
~HP~
I'll be honest; I don't really know how this chapter happened. When I started it, I certainly never saw it ending this way. But I got swept up in the emotions, and it just came out this way. Let me know what you think.
Thank you so much everyone for your continued support! Keep up the good reading, and I can't wait to see your feedback.
