A/N: Good day to all of you! First, I'll hand out cookies to all of you as you guys get comfortable for a moment.
Remember I said last chapter that there's something special? Well, let me tell you. Exactly one year ago, on July 1st, I pressed the button "Post New Chapter" for the first time. And one whole year later, I'm posting Chapter Forty-Eight. Where has the time gone? I can't believe this story is one year old! And so I'd like to say, HAPPY FIRST ANNIVERSARY, EVERYONE! =D
Yup! Exactly one year ago on the same date, I posted Chapter One of this fic. Look at us now! I can't thank you guys enough for EVERYTHING. Imagine me as an emotional mess right now, I'm swelling with thanks for every single one of you! Thank you for sticking with me for all this time, thank you for every reviewer, follower, favorite, and Guest reviewer! You all make me so inhumanely happy. ^w^
This is the first anniversary chapter, but eh, frankly, I didn't know how to make it special, so this is just like any other regular chapter, requests and all. I just wanted to pass on this special message to all of you, and how thankful I am to each and every one of you. :')
Thank you once again, and enjoy the new chapter. =)
Chapter Forty-Eight: The Meaning of Life
Lucario should open an ice cream shop.
That was Mewtwo's first thought. Between his hands, he clutched his twenty-fourth ice cream bar, munching delectably on this perfect piece of confection. He hated to admit, but Lucario's ice cream bars were award-winning. Of course the Pokemon would never offer Mewtwo any, or to any Smasher for that matter, because ice cream was his pride and Lucario intended to keep it a secret.
Of course, that secret was dispersed a long time ago. No matter how many times Lucario changed his hiding spot, Mewtwo always found it, regardless of the circumstances. Even if they were stored dangerously in a cage with a drunk Crazy Hand, Mewtwo still somehow managed to obtain it. It was inevitable.
Finishing the last satisfying bite of ice cream, Mewtwo contently tossed the wrapper and turned back to Lucario's latest hiding spot, a large coffin that he dug out from buried a hundred feet underground with a label on it proclaiming "Mewtwo's Legend."
Hm…what other type of ice cream sandwiches were available for him?
Chocolate chip, mint, vanilla, strawberry, cake, cotton candy, butterscotch, chocolate… Mewtwo frowned.
He wanted a new and exotic flavor, not boring ones he'd been consuming all this time. Like, I dunno, fish flavored? He was growing bored. He could leave and he could retreat peacefully, but no.
Mewtwo was angry. There were no satisfactory ice cream left.
Which simply meant, he must destroy something.
LATER…
Wario watched, mouth open and popcorn half chewed in his mouth as he continued gazing at his laptop screen, completely immersed in an episode of The Vampire Diaries.
"Go…go…GO!" he cheered, popcorn flying ungracefully out of his mouth (not that any graceful every came out his mouth). It was nearing the climax of the episode, the best episode The Vampire Diaries could get, and Wario watched eagerly, so eagerly he even had the nerve to put the popcorn aside (because nobody ever put the popcorn aside until they were finished. I mean, who would dare to do that?).
Wario watched feverishly, eyes wide, mouth hanging open, the climax approaching.
Wario anticipated, so anticipated, preparing to throw his arms up and shriek and deafen everyone if he needed to.
Right when it was about to, the great eagerness building up—
The Internet crashed.
"! $% $^*%#%*# $ $^*!" Wario swore, enough to make Marth jealous. He stared at the computer screen at the desktop background, for the Internet and the highly anticipated episode had abruptly crashed. Rigidly, trying to contain his bursting and flaming anger, Wario slid the mouse to the corner of the screen to confirm his enraged assumption: "No Wi-Fi Connection."
It wasn't long before Wario didn't own a laptop anymore.
"Hm…just need to add one more egg and some vanilla extract, and then it's…done!"
Peach hummed leisurely, stirring her cake batter, peering at the recipe on the iPad screen (borrowed from Ness). All was going well, and after another egg and some vanilla, the cupcakes was ready to go. The Mushroom princess giggled excitedly to herself while stirring the batter, feeling another successful delicacy was going to be born.
As she poured it into the cupcake pan, Peach cast one last look at the recipe to see how long to bake—
"No Wi-Fi Connection."
The Mushroom princess stared at that message now evidently displayed on the iPad screen, mouth open in irritation, still pouring batter into the overflowing cupcake tin.
Well.
Annoyance starting to bubble up, Peach set the bowl of batter to the side and stormed out of the kitchen, whipping the door open to see who was the culprit behind messing the Wi-Fi up because no one flippin' messes with the Wi-Fi! However, she was alarmed to open the door to a flood of complaints.
"Oh come on! I was winning online on Mario Kart 8!"
"What the heck, I was watching the funniest fail compilation ever."
"MY VAMPIRE DIARIES! NOOOO!"
"Dang it! I was watching LIVE on the most epic football game ever, and I'm missing it!"
"Really? I was just gonna send a super witty Tweet!"
The meaning of life, simply put, was Wi-Fi.
Mario, who was outraged from not being able to play Farmville on Facebook any longer, was completely livid that the Internet just had to crash.
"Come-a on, my soybeans were about-a to be harvested!" he grouched.
And then, he knew.
The red plumber stood up and marched out into the hallway. Master Hand…! He thought indignantly. Thinking you-a can hog all the Wi-Fi to-a yourself…
However, as Mario approached the hand's office, said hand burst through, visibly fuming.
"WHO DISCONNECTED THE INTERNET?!" Master Hand demanded. "I WAS HAVING A LOVELY DATE WITH NETFLIX, AND SOMEONE HAD TO RUIN IT." The hand spotted Mario, who had skidded to a stop by his sudden outburst. "MARIO, YOU GOT ANY IDEAS?"
The plumber huffed, "Nope, I was-a gonna come talk to-a you about it!"
Before he knew it, Master Hand saw a whole line of Smashers stomping towards him, all thinking the hand was behind this outrageous baloney. No Wi-Fi was also as bad as no technology, if not even worse, and the Smashers were outraged. After all, Wi-Fi was totally the meaning of life.
"That's-a it!" Mario fumed. "I'm going-a on another vacation!" Nobody really gave a hoot as the plumber made his exit. A lot of them just wanted the precious Wi-Fi back, and the culprit was still unknown.
SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDST OF RAGING SMASHERS…
Mewtwo smirked, satisfied with this revenge. He had calmed down a little after his mini rampage, but the simple truth was, there was no satisfactory ice cream left and he had destroyed the Wi-Fi in a moment of fury.
Mewtwo shrugged. In a way, it was Lucario's fault for not having suitable ice cream to begin with, so no one could really blame him, right?
Alph wanted candy.
Kirby wanted candy too.
So Kirby ate Alph's candy.
Alph got mad.
Kirby didn't care.
Alph wanted revenge.
Alph had his revenge.
He watched Kirby, flailing around, hollering, "VEGETABLE CANDY?! WHAT SORT OF UNHOLY CREATION OF SATAN IS THIS?! AAAHHH!" The puffball flailed frantically, trying to get his tongue on something tasty to rid of this sinful vegetable taste of low-blood sugar health.
Alph smirked triumphantly, pleased that he was just such a good gardener.
"Face it, you need to diet anyway!" King Dedede jeered off to the side.
"AS IF YOU DON'T NEED IT MORE THAN ME!" Kirby gagged, wholly unpleased with this unearthly taste. As a final resort, he turned to a meditating Ryu (who had been sitting there for the past three hours) and promptly inhaled him, purple mat and all, because at least a sweaty yoga mat tasted much, much better than vegetables!
The puffball finally calmed down a while after that painful ordeal and turned angrily back to Alph, who was smiling pleasurably at his perfect revenge. "That's it, I'm going to Dream Land for some candy!" Kirby grouched. Whipping a phone out of nowhere, he swiftly dialed and called for candy takeout.
Until he realized the Wi-Fi was out.
"I'm outta here," he said, exasperated, and jumped onto a Warp Star back to Dream Land. I'll have plenty of candy there…he thought triumphantly.
Alph dusted his hands victoriously. Now... He turned over to a still-laughing Dedede. The small character sauntered up to the snorting penguin and held out his hand. Dedede stared down at it.
They were candy.
Completely forgetting his fate even though it displayed right in his face via Kirby, Dedede's eyes sparkled at the sight of candy. "Candy!" he chorused. He accepted the candy without a second thought.
Meanwhile, somewhere else in the land with lack of Wi-Fi, Lucario had finally found out behind this whole silly fiasco. He and Mewtwo were on the battlefield, staring each other down.
Bring back the Wi-Fi, Lucario thought, directed to Mewtwo.
Sorry, can't do, Mewtwo replied telepathically.
Infuriated, Lucario thought, If you don't, I'll tattle to everyone and you'll be mauled by Wi-Fi lusting Smashers.
Mewtwo shrugged indifferently. They have no proof! I won't be admitting anything either.
Lucario gritted his teeth. I'll make you then!
Suddenly, the Aura Pokemon pulled a cowboy hat and sunglasses, and also a lasso too. And with one quick movement, much like a magic show, he released a Pokeball, releasing Keldeo (unicorn Pokemon appearing in Smash). Lucario, grinning widely, hopped on Keldeo's back and stared at Mewtwo, lasso and cowboy hat prepared.
Yeehaw! Lucario thought exuberantly, charging towards Mewtwo at immense speed.
Suddenly, in a blink, Mewtwo also had his own cowboy hat and a lasso, however, he wasn't riding a horse or even a unicorn, for that matter. He was, quite simply, piggy-backing on a Zoroark which he dug out from the Smash Pokeballs.
This is a war for Wi-Fi! Lucario thought heroically. He swung the lasso on Keldeo's back, preparing to throw it at Mewtwo and trap him, if possible. Keldeo and Zoroark were both propelling towards each other, not exactly knowing what's up.
Mewtwo swung his own lasso, approximating the speed, distance, and proximity of his opponent. Zoroark wasn't entirely pleased with him to be riding, but what the heck, this was interesting! The same could be said for Keldeo, but both Keldeo and Zoroark wanted their few minutes of freedom they would get.
Mewtwo and Lucario stared at each other, electricity literally flying directly between their laser gazes. Not gonna lose, Lucario thought resolutely.
Not gonna lose, Mewtwo thought as well. They both smirked at each other, knowing the other couldn't possibly beat their awesome cowboy lessons!
I watched the Wild West, and you didn't! Lucario thought victoriously. I'm the one who knows what I'm doing!
Mewtwo scoffed in his brain. And I watched Indiana Jones!
Keldeo and Zoroark galloped (well, at least Keldeo did) towards each other, the distance closing considerably. Both Mewtwo and Lucario's lassos were swinging faster than Peach's standing mixer, both preparing to launch said item over each other's body. It was only a matter on who did it first, then they would be tied up and dumped in the basement for whenever someone else would dare go down (the person who last went down had to be treated with immense therapy and hardcore meditation and brainwashing to recover from whatever trauma happened).
And then they were nearly upon each other.
Mewtwo reeled back his arm to throw his lasso which was spinning so fast there was a mini tornado in it. Lucario also prepared to toss his, equally as fast as Mewtwo's.
OUTSIDE THE BATTLEFIELD
Mr. Game and Watch paused, feeling swift gusts of air coming from nowhere. Hm…the last time he recalled, today was supposed to be an un-windy day. Oh well. Probably Smashers creating tornadoes somewhere, somehow.
BACK IN THE FIGHT AT HAND
They released both their lassos at the same time, right at the instant Keldeo and Zoroark passed each other, barely grazing the other. Lucario's watched his fly—and saw Mewtwo's lasso falling straight towards him.
Mewtwo was in the same situation, watching gloriously at his well-thrown lasso, only for a sense of discomfort approaching as Lucario's lasso approached him as well.
Both Pokemon gazed fervently at whose lasso would catch the others first and...
...none did.
Lucario and Mewtwo were both taken wholly by surprise as their lassos found exactly on the dangling lights on the ceiling.
Uh oh.
Due to the force of Keldeo and Zoroark, who were both still sprinting in no particular direction, Mewtwo and Lucario found their selves thrust upward…
…and swinging uncontrollably over thin air as both their lassos wound over and over the light fixtures.
And once opening their eyes, they were suspended dangerously fifty feet in the air, both clutching tightly for their life on their flimsy lassos. Mewtwo and Lucario shared a glance.
Truce?
Truce.
"I'm pleased to have you all here today." Little Mac sipped daintily from his cup of tea, his political accent coming back. He regarded Captain Falcon and a newly-recruited Snake and Ryu, who were both sitting pleasantly at the table, each with their respective tea cups.
"What has gathered us together today?" Captain Falcon asked primly, stirring his small cup of tea with a stick.
"Aren't we here for the conversation of daily life and bring meaning back to the word 'normal?'" Snake suggested.
"Normal here is nothing normal from back where I came from," Ryu mentioned.
"I figured as much," Little Mac sniffed. Dabbing his mouth with a mini pink handkerchief, he clasped his hands together. "So, how are your normal lives back home compare to your 'normal' life here?"
"Well," Snake piped up, "it's certainly more difficult to live here than back home."
"More difficult? As far as my aging memory recalls, your missions don't appeal too pleasantly to me, or any of us for that matter."
"That just sets perspective how difficult it is to live here."
"You have an acceptable point."
The four simultaneously took a sip from their tea.
Ryu swallowed his bite of blueberry scone. Although he still felt a little awkward, he felt as if these people would accept him. "My place back home was pleasant," he said.
Captain Falcon stroked an invisible beard. "Care to elaborate?"
"I had my friends, simple pleasures of life, and definitely not…cat dogs and doppelgangers." Ryu recalled with a regretful mind of seeing two Mega Man duplicates and then a horrifying Duck Hunt Dog Cat just yesterday.
"Ah," Snake commented simply. There was a pleasurable moment of silence as the four enjoyed their exquisite snacks.
"Our old lives were much more normal," Little Mac reasoned.
"We pretty much are the only normal residents here," Captain Falcon added.
"Ah, if only…," Snake said wistfully as Ryu nodded along. Finally, the four finished their tea and scones.
"So Ryu," Captain Falcon suddenly piped up, turning his body to fully face him.
Ryu looked up.
"You're paying for this, right?" Nonchalantly, the racer gestured to the scone crumbs and empty tea cups.
Ryu was completely flabbergasted. "Wha—"
"Yeah," Little Mac chimed in. "We all agreed you were gonna pay for the scones and tea, right?"
"Wait, so you didn't pay for these yet?"
"Nope!"
Ryu slammed his head on the table hopelessly, the horrid memory of the time he took a certain racer and boxer to a restaurant. "My poor bank account…," he muttered incoherently, mourning for the merciless deterioration for it. He started pounding his fist miserably on the table in utter despair.
"Ryu, look at this!"
Ryu glumly looked up.
Snake was holding a receipt. "Just messing with ya—we already paid for everything."
His mouth gaped open.
"Lawl, it's always funny to fool with these newcomers!" Captain Falcon chortled. Ryu breathed a sigh of relief. Phew, his wallet wasn't actually in jeopardy after all—
"So," Little Mac said after everyone calmed down, hooking his arm over Ryu's shoulders. "You wanna…treat us to that restaurant again?"
Lucas wanted cookies.
He knew there were cookies somewhere, he just knew. It was hidden somewhere, and he was determined to find it. So he went to use his ultimate foolproof plan: consult R.O.B.
The psychic boy leisurely trudged over to find the robot, because the robot knew where every single morsel was in the whole vicinity of the Smash Mansion. Using this secret method, Lucas had already consumed a hidden bag of chips, the whole lot of popsicles, and a delicious stack of tacos.
Nobody can hide snacks from me ever again! Lucas thought triumphantly. Finally, he discovered R.O.B. in his usual spot, a small office, though the robot looked a little distant today (if a robot could ever look distant).
"Hey, R.O.B.!" Lucas greeted benignly.
"Hello," the robot responded in his same monotonous tone.
"Can you please tell me where cookies are in the Smash Mansion?" he asked patiently.
"Searching for data…"
Lucas anticipated the answer, preparing a notepad he prepared from nowhere. However, it was taking unusually long for R.O.B. to respond.
"You okay…?" Lucas questioned uncertainly. The robot didn't respond.
After another awkward minute, the robot finally spoke. "Data unreachable. 404 error. Server unresponsive. Source: No Internet Connection."
Lucas gaped.
A WHILE LATER…
"Hey R.O.B., mind telling me where my book of tomes went?" Robin asked.
"Searching for data…" Robin waited. "Data unreachable. 404 error. Server unresponsive. Source: No Internet Connection."
ANOTHER WHILE LATER…
"Hey you, R.O.B. Do you know where that good for nothin' Kirby is?" Dedede asked, vowing to steal a ride with Kirby to Dream Land where treats surely resided.
"Searching for data…Data unreachable. 404 error. Server unresponsive. Source: No Internet Connection."
AND ANOTHER…
"R.O.B., you gotta know where my chicken is, right?" Ike inquired.
"Searching for data…Data unreachable. 404 error. Server unresponsive. Source: No Internet Connection."
R.O.B. was practically useless that day.
"I'M-A BACK, AND MORE GLAMOROUS THAN-A EVER!" Mario stood proudly, his vacation finally over. And he had some smuggled goods alright.
Currently, Mario was decked out with black overalls over his red shirt and a black hat instead of his usual red ones. He was currently possessing a Red Star from which he smuggled from Mario Galaxy. It gave him the ability to fly, and the plumber used it dearly.
Also, he had some gifts for the Smashers as well.
It took some meticulous planning, but the operation was deemed a success as Mario stared down at the crowd of confused Smashers. Half of them were bouncing uncontrollably coiled in a Spring Suit (courteous of a Spring Mushroom) and the other half were poisoned with P Acorns, unwillingly floating around in no particular direction.
As for Crazy Hand?
Well.
Mario was safe and sound thanks to the Red Star, so his life wasn't endangered. But everyone else was.
Palutena shrieked frantically, trying to escape a horrifyingly-laughing Crazy Hand. She couldn't cover too much distance though, due to this stupidly restrictive Spring Suit.
The goddess attempted bouncing away as fast as she could, but to no avail as she bounced unwillingly to the opposite direction than where she originally wanted to head. "Not that way!" she ordered to the Spring Suit. "No, no, the other left, stupid…stupid…" She blinked. She couldn't really blame anyone but herself since she was the one in the Spring Suit.
But as every Mario Galaxy player could agree on, the Spring Suit was the most infuriating and frustrating thing to control.
Crazy laughed elatedly, floating with a P Acorn and a Spring Suit, traumatizing everyone's soul who saw the appalling image of said hand barreling maniacally around the room.
"WHEEEE!" Crazy cheered, completely thrilled of how fun this Spring Suit was! (He didn't understand why everyone was trying to evacuate from within a fifty-foot radius of him though.)
Mario watched, delighted, floating at a safe distance with the Red Star power up. For now, he could forgive whoever corrupted the Wi-Fi, but surely he was down there somewhere, regretting interrupting Mario's well deserved playtime with Farmville, right? Mario nodded. Surely they were—
WHOOSH!
Suddenly, Mario had to steady himself in the air as something else whizzed past him at great speeds. "Woah!" he said, trying to regain his balance in the air.
Upon further inspection, it was Kirby on his Warp Star, arriving back to his trip from Dream Land. Welcome to the fun! Mario thought.
Kirby had a rough landing down in the Smash yard. Disoriented, he gingerly picked himself up from the crashed Warp Star.
"Hey Kirby!" Red called (who was contaminated by a P Acorn). "Help us here!"
However, the Pokemon Trainer was thoroughly alarmed to see that Kirby didn't look…right.
Lifting his head/body, Kirby stared at the Trainer with dazed eyes as if not remembering who he was. "Huuuh?" he drawled incoherently.
"Kirby, wh-what's wrong with you?"
"Ahhh…that?" Kirby said, stumbling a little. "A little too much…sugar…from Dream…Land."
Uh oh.
Red gulped. Immediately, he turned the other way, for surely Kirby on a sugar rush was much more life-threatening than a rampaging Crazy Hand.
"Too…much…INVISIBILITY CANDY!"
Suddenly, Kirby was running around like a madman, laughing like a lunatic. Definitely too much sugar.
"AHAHAHA!" he chortled madly, rivaling Crazy's. "I feel so happy! So energetic! I feel as if I can accomplish anything in the world!"
"That's the spirit!" Crazy approved.
Meanwhile, the rest of the Smashers screamed bloody murder, for now there was a crazy Crazy and a drunk Kirby rampaging in a sugar rush. However, their Spring Suits and P Acorns weren't getting them anywhere, much to their horror.
Crazy continued to bounce around wildly, Kirby dashing around creating mini whirlwinds, and Mario watching contently at all this madness. Who knew the plumber could be so mischievous?
And yet…
MEANWHILE…
Lucario and Mewtwo remained suspended in the air, still gripping on their lassos for dear life above the sheer drop, but for a better reason now.
Lucario gulped, peering down at the mess below him, Smashers throwing their selves out of harm's way as the offenders (Crazy, Kirby, and Mario) continued to terrorize them.
He and Mewtwo shared a knowing glance;
Being suspended fifty feet in the air was better than living the hell down there.
A/N: The horror…! Would you rather be in a Spring Suit or a P Acorn suit? Or suspended fifty feet in the air with Mewtwo and Lucario?
Mewtwo destroys the Wi-Fi due to lack of satisfactory ice cream for Dark Pit not Pittoo! xD
Lucario vs. Mewtwo cowboy scene for AngeloHeroOfLight! :D
Ryu having a cool and chill chat with Snake, Captain Falcon, and Little Mac about their normal lives back home compared to the Smash Mansion, for MrAwesomeMattyDA! =)
Kirby eats Alph's candy, and Alph has his revenge, for Twin Cats! =D (also Crazy gets his hands on more power ups! O_O)
Mario mischief for a Guest! ^_^
Mario brings some Spring Suits and P Acorns to terrorize the Smashers, for Thegeniusyoshi! :]
Kirby has a sugar rush from all that INVINCIBILITY CANDY…for Gamerfan64! 8)
That's all for now. Again, you guys have no idea how much I'm so thankful for you guys! I still can't believe it's been a whole year since Chapter One, and I want to thank every single one of you for reading and sticking with me. :') Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Next chapter, 4th of July special. =D
Await for more awesome stuff,
-prowessMaster44
