When they got home, they went to lie down in the bedroom for awhile before dinner. No words passed between them, but none were needed. Olivia just held Alex, and it was enough.

Alex was starting to drift off, her head resting on Olivia's stomach, the detective's arms wrapped tightly around her, anchoring her. Her body jumped when she felt a low rumble vibrating against her ear.

Olivia grinned sheepishly, sitting up and causing Alex to do the same. "I guess I'm hungry." She combed her fingers lightly through Alex's hair. "I'm going to shower and then I'll make some pasta for dinner."

Alex nodded. "Okay." She yawned. "Go shower. You're all smelly!"

Olivia laughed. "I am not."

"Actually, you are, but that's not the point. We can have a nice, romantic evening." She waggled her eyebrows suggestively.

Olivia laughed again, in both surprise and pleasure. "If you say so. But, Alex." Her voice turned serious. "Are you sure you're ready?"

Alex took a deep breath and nodded. "I am. Now go shower!"

With one last uneasy glance over her shoulder, Olivia went into the washroom and ran the water. She climbed in, allowing the warm droplets to trickle down her back, closing her eyes as she did so. She wasn't entirely sure that Alex knew what she wanted, much less than what she was ready for, but what made Olivia think she knew best? She could easily be wrong. Alex had made so much progress over the past week, but this . . . this was a step that Olivia hadn't even considered, and she didn't want to traumatize Alex further by doing something Alex wasn't ready for. Just because Alex said she was ready didn't mean she really was.

Still feeling a bit uncomfortable, she washed her hair and body before climbing out of the shower and wrapping herself up in a towel. She blow-dried her hair and pulled it into a messy ponytail, throwing on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.

As soon as she opened the bathroom door, a delicious aroma wafted toward her. It smelled like pasta. She followed her nose to find Alex in the kitchen, carrying two plates to the table. The lights were off, but Alex's face was illuminated by shimmering, vanilla-scented candles, and she smiled shyly when she saw Olivia. "I made ravioli rosé, just the way you like it."

Olivia raised an eyebrow. "That was quick. I was only in the shower for ten minutes."

"Actually, you were in there for nearly an hour, but that's not the point." She set the plates on the table and grabbed two wine glasses. "Is it okay?"

"Yeah," stammered Olivia. "It's great. Thanks, baby." She pulled Alex into a hug. "This is really special."

She started to sit down, but Alex wagged a finger at her. "Uh-uh. I made you a nice dinner, complete with Merlot, and you've got to get changed."

Olivia rolled her eyes, taking in Alex's deep blue dress that brought out the blue in her eyes. She was absolutely gorgeous, and Olivia knew she'd never be able to match Alex's beauty, but she conceded nevertheless. "Yes, Your Highness. I'll go put on a dress."

Alex grinned. "Go!"

Then it occurred to Olivia – Alex was wearing a short-sleeved dress that only came down to her knees. She wasn't wearing a sweater or tights or anything. Her arms and legs were mostly bare, and she was perfectly okay with it.

Olivia wrapped her arms around Alex once again. "I'm so proud of you, baby," she whispered, pressing a soft kiss to Alex's temple. "And you are so, so beautiful."

Alex leaned toward Olivia, her hair tickling Olivia's cheek as she pressed her lips to Olivia's, capturing them in a breathtaking kiss. Olivia leaned into the kiss, ready to roll with this as long as Alex seemed perfectly at ease with it. If she started to get uncomfortable, they could stop, but right now Alex wanted this as much as Olivia did, and Olivia was happy to oblige.

Suddenly, Alex pulled back. She gave Olivia a light shove toward the bedroom. "This wonderful dinner I made is getting cold! Get changed."


They cleaned up together and then went to the bedroom. Alex offered Olivia a smile. "Was this okay?"

Olivia smiled back, pulling Alex close to her. "It was perfect. Like you."

Alex beamed, her hand tangling in Olivia's hair as she leaned forward for another kiss. "Mm, I love you."

"I love you, too, baby."

Alex raised a seductive eyebrow. "Do you want to love all of me?"

Olivia grinned, but her smile soon gave way to uncertainty. "Are you positive this is what you want, Alex?"

Alex considered for a moment. "Yeah." Her hands went to her dress and she smiled up at Olivia as she slid it over her thighs and folded it neatly on the bed. "Is this what you want?"

She did. Oh, God, she did. "Yeah, but that's not important."

Alex stopped for a moment and gently caressed Olivia's cheek, her eyes full of sadness. "Yeah, it is."

"No, Alex. If you're only doing this because you think I want it, then we can stop right now."

"That's not it. I want – I want to feel you. I want you to feel me. I want to be close to you again."

"Are you sure you're ready?"

"No," confessed Alex. "But I think I am. And I want to try. I trust you, Olivia."

Olivia gave her a watery smile, trying not to choke up as she whispered, "Okay."

Alex smiled back and finished undressing, no longer particularly self-conscious about her scars. She was okay. She wanted Olivia, and Olivia wanted her.

Alex lay down on the bed on her back and pushed herself up onto her elbows, watching as Olivia pulled off her own clothes. She was ready and she could do this. She wanted to do this.

Her thighs clenched and moisture immediately pooled between her legs when Olivia finished and sat down beside her, tenderly caressing Alex's stomach, stroking down her thighs, then kissing a trail from her collarbone to the apex of her thighs, grinning at Alex as she stopped there. She lightly kissed the bundle of nerves between Alex's legs, then looked up, searching for a sign that Alex didn't want this but finding none. "Is this okay?"

Alex nodded, and her answering moan was clearly eager.

Olivia kissed her there again, teasingly flicking her clit and causing Alex's hips to spasm, searching for more contact. Olivia sat up again, making sure that Alex really wanted this.

"It's okay," said Alex dismissively, her hands tangling in Olivia's hair. "Please, Liv – I want you – inside me."

Olivia obliged, slowly pumping a finger inside Alex, surprised at the copious wetness she found between Alex's legs. Alex moaned, throwing her head back and bucking her hips as Olivia added another finger.

Alex closed her eyes against the sensations, riding Olivia's fingers as pleasure surged through her. "Liv – Liv, please –"

Olivia added a third finger, curling them inside Alex. The blonde smiled in ecstasy as she felt her arousal building, building, building –


Her master had her tied to the bed as he slipped his fingers inside her, pushing, so hard, so deep. He wasn't doing this because he liked it; he was doing it because he knew she hated it. She hated how sometimes, much as it hurt, he could coax pleasure from her. She knew it was her body's reaction, not her mind's, and Olivia had explained to her how these things worked, but she was still so ashamed.

He pumped harder as she cried, biting her lip and trying not to climax, trying not to give him what he wanted, but she couldn't quite help it as the orgasm washed over her like a wave. It wasn't pleasurable, and it hurt so much, and she was so humiliated. When her master finally released her, he stood above her wearing his trademark sneer. "I guess you enjoyed that, didn't you, my slave?"

She desperately shook her head, even though she should have known better.

He laughed. "I think you want some more."

No! But she couldn't say the words aloud.

As he thrust into her once more, all Alex could do was cry.


Olivia noticed the trembling of Alex's body, not in pleasure now, but in fear. She noticed the terror in Alex's eyes and the tears streaking down her cheeks, and she immediately stopped, pulling back and asking gently, "Baby, are you okay? What is it? Do you want me to stop?"

"I'm sorry," whimpered Alex, sitting up even as her body shook in fear, wrapping her arms around herself. "I'm so sorry, Livvy. I thought I wanted it. I'm sorry."

"No, baby. It's okay. I'm not disappointed or upset. I'll wait as long as it takes. You'll be ready someday and I'm not going to push you before you're comfortable." She tenderly stroked Alex's hair. "Can I hold you?"

Alex nodded and climbed into Olivia's lap, her shivering gradually abating as she felt Olivia's warm arms wrap around her. "I'm sorry. I thought –"

"I know, honey. I know. It's okay." She kissed Alex's forehead. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"My Master – I'm sorry, Liv. I meant to say – he – he used to put his fingers inside me and sometimes – sometimes I came." She began to cry again. "I didn't want to, and it hurt, but he – my body – it's like you always said – I didn't mean to. I'm sorry, Livvy!"

"Oh, baby." Olivia gently rubbed Alex's back. "I know. It's not your fault. I know you didn't want to. It's okay. I understand. It happens sometimes. Your body reacts, and it's a defense mechanism. It's okay." She felt terrible for listening to Alex and going along with this although she'd known even then that she shouldn't have. She'd known this would hurt Alex in the long run, and yet, she still did it. What a horrible girlfriend she was. "I'm sorry, baby. I didn't mean to scare you."

"No. I told you I wanted it. I thought I did. You couldn't have known."

Olivia sighed and kissed the base of Alex's neck. "Let's cuddle for a bit."

"Okay," agreed Alex in a small voice. She snuggled close to Olivia, resting her head on the detective's shoulder and trying to rid herself of her residual fear.

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