Chapter 44: One

Unna'Koris: With the looming threat of the Reapers, how did you cope?

Tali'Zorah: Even in the hardship and worry, there was also hope and beauty. My first time with John, for example, is a time I will treasure forever.

"Well Shepard, Tali, I'm giving you my full approval. There's no further tests we can run, no further exposure we can do without physical contact. There's still a risks, but you've both been very wise and patient and their as mitigated as they are going to get. All I have left is this: Good luck."

With those words from Dr. Chakwas, it was finally here. The day Tali and been longing for since the first day she met Shepard. The day he could see her face, to see the real Tali without her suit. She took her captain's hand and smiled. She was nervous and excited, and if the redness in his face or the way he was breathing was any indication, so was he. There was also a slight bulge in his trousers, so she wasn't the only one for whom excited had multiple meanings if her understanding of human anatomy was correct.

"Thank you doctor," Tali said, not taking her eyes from John's. "Without your help I don't think this would have been possible."

John nodded, "Yes, thanks Karen. Any last words of advice?"

Chakwas grinned. "Just one; use a rubber."

That got both Tali and John to blush and assure the doctor they would indeed use a latex barrier, then scramble out of the medbay.

"This is silly," John muttered. "I'm blushing and even more nervous then I was my first time. What the hell is wrong with me? I'm supposed to be the experienced one."

"Well, is it you first time with an alien?" Tali teased.

"Er, no." John admitted, "I've been with asari before. Something's different about this time though."

"Oh?" Tali asked, her heart speeding up.

"Well, all the women I've been with, it was just sex mostly. There were a few girlfriends but never anyone that I was really serious about. With you, it's different. I want a future with you. The sex is definitely important, but it's not the only reason I'm interested in you. I want you at my side, want to be with you no matter what happens. Even if you have to spend the rest of your life in your suit."

"Now we have to go to the clean room immediately," Tali declared.

"Huh? Why?"

"So I can kiss you, you bosh'tet!" Tali said, trying to not cry and failing. "That was the most wonderful thing you've ever said to me!" She grabbed John's arm and led him to the elevator, calling to EDI, "EDI, I want you to disable surveillance in the clean room and reserve it for us for the rest of the day. We're not getting to the Citadel anytime soon."

"Understood Tali. I also wish to express my congratulations for your relational upgrade."

Tali was so happy she didn't even care at how utterly ridiculous EDI's statement sounded. "Thanks!"

Once they were at the Clean Room though, it was time to wait. John had to go in first and scrub himself nearly raw to try and remove as much dead skin and germs from his body as he could. Then it was time for a hard rinse with water and disinfectants. The whole process would take him about 10 minutes or so, though he promised he would be going as fast as he could.

"It's a good thing I keep my hair so short," he joked, "I can't image how long it would take if I was a civilian."

Tali didn't quite get that, quarians grew their hair a variety of different lengths, though short or bald was the most popular as it was the easiest to take care of. She had been growing her own hair out, and it was about seven centimeters long now. Having daily access to a clean room meant she could properly care for her hair, which was such a deep shade of purple that it was nearly black.

Now that she was alone though, Tali started to have second thoughts. What if John thought she was ugly? What if he couldn't bring himself to look at her? What if he got sick from her? She fidgeted, her fingers anxiously twining and untwining as she paced.

Finally, it was time. The light on the door turned green; John was ready for her. She stepped into the airlock and let the disinfectant spray wash over her suit, her stomach churning with mixed emotions. Once the spray stopped, she stepped through the door. John was inside, sitting on the bench in a sterile cotton robe, looking rather red and raw. He was nervously rubbing his hands across his robe, but smiled encouragingly at Tali and stood up.

"Ready?" he asked quietly.

"I don't know! What if you think I'm ugly, or you have an allergic reaction and die or I get really sick or it turns out quarians look like freaks to humans or the clean room malfunctions and I get sick or I'm hideous or-" Tali stopped when John put his finger on her vocalizer. "I was babbling again wasn't I?"

"You were; it was pretty cute. But the only way we'll know is if you take it off, right?"

Nodding, Tali mumbled, "Mask disengage."

The seals hissed open and John reached up and slowly removed the mask. His eyes widened and he sucked in his breath.

"Tali..." he whispered, his voice rough.

No, he hates me, I'm ugly, he'll never want me-

"You're beautiful."

All Tali's fears melted away, and she tackled John, planting kisses all over his face like she saw in the vids. She had to be careful, avoiding his eyes, mouth and nose, but the feel of his skin on her lips was amazing. His own lips brushed her skin, and it felt like they left traces of fire. It wasn't painful; she had become used to pounding water and the feel of a brush on her own skin. It was wonderful.

"You taste sweet." John whispered.

"It's the defogger fluid. I should probably wash that off. It's not toxic to quarians, but I don't know about humans."

"I'll take the chance." John assured her.

"Will you let me at least get out of my suit? I want you to touch all of me."

"I do too."

John tried to help Tali undress, but his efforts were rather clumsy. The suit was designed so that a quarian could dress or undress unassisted, but Tali didn't mind too much. It was sweet to have John fumbling at the straps, clearly just as eager to get her out of the suit as she was to be free of it.

Finally, she stood before him, trembling slightly, naked as the day she was born. Her skin was slick with slimy lubricants and nutrient fluids, but John caressed her anyway.

"You're purple."

The non-sequitur remark provoked hysterical giggles from Tali. "You're red."

Blushing, John spluttered, "Sorry, purple just isn't a shade humans have. Your hair is purple though, and it makes your skin look purplish. It's beautiful though-"

Tali tackled John again, and in the kissing and caresses he lost his robe. The floor was a soft gel pad, and it was nearly perfect for lying on. The next hour was amazing. Tali felt a stirring in her loins she had never felt before, a wonderful sensation that spread up her spine to her entire body. There was pain too, and a little bleeding, but Raan and Chakwas had prepared her for that, and John was patient and gentle as always. They were together, completely together, and shared in a pleasure so wonderful Tali wondered how she had waited so long for it.

When it was over, they stood together under the shower, washing off the sweat and slime that was now all over both of them.

"That was amazing," John said, scrubbing her back for her. "I hope I didn't hurt you."

"A little. But it was a good sort of pain. I feel so-" Tali interrupted herself with an enormous sneeze. "So wonderful. Ob no."

"Are you alright?" John asked, turning her around. HIs expression almost made Tali melt all over again, he was the picture of concern and worry over a sneeze!

"I'b guess dabt all does kisses arb gebbing to me. I'bs OK."

Hurrying over to her suit, Tali gave herself an anti-allergenic and a shot of medigel, then stuck her head under the warm water and snorted out an enormous glob of mucus.

"Sorry, that wasn't terribly becoming was it?" Tali sheepishly asked.

Laughing, John shook his head. "No, but I hope that's the worst of it."

They finished their shower, and all too soon Tali had to put her suit back on.

"This was so wonderful," she whispered, holding her mask in her hands as John stroked her cheek, brushing away a few strands of hair. "It's been so long since I actually got to touch someone. Not since my mother died."

"You're so brave. Brave and beautiful." John told her, "I don't know if I could stand being unable to touch anyone. Shaking hands, hugging my mother, high fiving Garrus or slapping someone on the back."

"We do what we have to. And right now, I have to put this back on." Tali slid her mask back on and felt the seals engage. "Don't worry. I carry a little bit of you with me where ever I go."

John smiled, holding up a stray strand of hair. "Looks like I will too."

Unna'Koris: That's beautiful! My own first time wasn't nearly so touching. I don't even know that boy anymore...

Tali'Zorah: It was worth the wait, and the pain. I did become horribly ill for about 24 hours, but it was so totally worth it. I encouraged each of my children to wait for their own soul mate. I know Shepard didn't wait for me, but I do know he was my first, and I was his last.

Authors Note:

This chapter is admittedly a dramatic departure from cannon. I just didn't feel like the way Tali and Shepard's first time was handled in the games fit here. The ill-girl bit was far too easily hand waved away for me, so that's going to be an ongoing issue.

As always, thanks for reading