Death Sentence III

Shinji pondered the strange world he had entered as he was driven home by Misato. The woman was not necessarily as dangerous an escort as Rei, but it was a close race. In aOlympiccopetition, Rei would get a9 while Misato would get an 8.5.Finally, after much vehicular carnage, they returned to the apartment. As they climbed up, Misato remarked, "Rei really doesn't get paid enough…" She tried to make it sound as if it was idle conversation, but the tactician had trouble doing that sort of thing.

"Oh really?" Shinji asked, suspiciously. Then, the door swung wide.

Rei was inside, idly dusting a vase. Shinji turned on Misato accusingly.

She looked nervous and defensive. "Eheheh, you see, Rei's apartment was condemned, and she only lived in 'cuz she wasn't paid enough to get a better one, and now that she can't live in it, I offered her a room if she did some cleaning work."

"Cleaning work? She's a human wrecking ball!"

"Hey! I am not human!"

There was a pause. Rei realized her blunder and quickly used her guitar to wipe everyone's memories, setting the situation back to as it was in the quote-before-last.

"Cleaning work? She's a human wrecking ball!"

"Hey! I do not have balls!"

"It's nothing to worry about. She can be quite adroit when she wants to be."

Rei drove the point home by collecting beer cans, and two tins of spam. She acted as if the spam was burning her skin.

"Alright, she can stay..." moaned Shinji, wondering whether he would still be alive in the morning.

-

The next morning, nothing interesting happened. Then, something – or more specifically, someone - came through Shinji's forehead.

"Push Shinji, push!" cried Rei, who kneeled by Shinji's side as the person came through. It was quite an agonizing procedure, but, finally, after many hours, the transfer was complete. Lying unconscious was a crudely dressed redhead girl, soaked in a greenish liquid. Misato kneeled down and tasted some.

"Cranial fluids," she said wisely.

"Come on now! Come on now! That is uncalled for! Ewwwww, that's just nasty. Oh, good God…" a reader moaned.

"And maybe some urine, too…"

Incoherent screaming from the readership.

"Right, so that's enough of that," said Rei. "We need to find out who she is, and get an Eva for her."

"Right. Wait a tick, how do you know she's an Eva pilot?"

Rei just smiled knowingly. Nobody knew she had a copy of the Script.

-

Shinji listened to the novelty music playing in his SDAT.

"It's the attack of the radioactive hamsters from a planet near mars!"

Ah, how he loved his novelty music. It was right that moment that Rei opened the door and flopped down the bed. Shinji ignored this, right up until the point where his brain processed this information; the total time being about 4.9 seconds.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? THIS IS MY ROOM!"

"The other room's taken by Misato," said Rei. "Now lemme go to sleep."

"But we can't sleep together!"

"Says who? Conventional social codes?"

"Yes, that's who!"

"To bad. They won't be around for much longer."

And, with that cryptic remark, she drifted off to sleep. Shinji was stuck with her.