Lara's POV
When we got off the ferris wheel Gabby was radiating. Like actually radiating with happiness and Sam was shy as ever. I knew that he asked her by the look on their faces and I knew that she said yes. I run over to her and gave her a big hug and she hugs me back. "Did you know about this?" She asks me.
I shake my head yes. "Since this afternoon it's been killing me." Dean comes up next to me and gives me a confused look. "What's going on?"
I grab Gabby's hand and shove it in Dean's face. He actually goes pale and looks at Sam then back at the ring then back at Sam. "You proposed?" He asked with an honest to god squeak at the end.
Sam ducked his head blushing and shook his head. Dean gave him a slap on the back and smiled. "That's awesome." Is all he could get out. I could tell Dean was about to get emotional, well as emotional has he would let anyone else see. It's his little brother that he raised and he loves him more than anything. I could tell that the love birds wanted some alone time so we cut the evening short and went back to our respective rooms.
I put the giant bear down on a chair in the room and collapse into the bed. Tonight was perfect. Sam and Gabby are going to get married. And Dean and I are going to get married. Dean starts throwing off his clothes as he walks around the room and picks up his sleep pants. "You going to change?" He asks me with a wink. He has been very excited to see all the new night gowns that Jody and Gabby have made me buy. Before I can get up and he grabs my wrists and puts something on my charm bracelet. I look down and it's a little seashell charm. "So you can remember your first time to the beach." He says with a smile.
"Thank you." I say and give him a kiss then I get up slowly. I walk over to my bag and pull out a new night gown and go into the bathroom to change. I don't know how I allowed them to convince me to buy this stuff but now I am very happy I did. I change and I look at myself in the mirror nervously. I turn around and I can still see my scars on my back through the shear fabric. It's a very short black silk night gown that stops right below the thighs with a low neck line. The back is mostly sheer fabric that stops at a v in the arch of my back then it meets the black silk. I look forward and examine the front of myself in the mirror. The scar on my breast is covered but the one on my collar bone is almost highlighted by the dark fabric on my pale skin. I look at my sides and luckily most of the scars I have on them are covered by the black silk. I take a deep breath turn the light off and go back into the bedroom.
Dean is laying down on the bed and I see that he has lit some candles. When he hears me shut the bathroom door he turns his head to look at me and lets out a long whistle. "Wow Lara" then he stares at me for a minute. "Just wow." I blush and walk over to him at the bed. He grabs me by the waist and pulls me down on top of him on the bed. I look at him nervously and can't stop blushing. "Why are you so nervous?" He whispers into my ear.
I shake my head and bury it in his chest and he lets out a laugh. He knows I've been really nervous about everything. I just feel so ugly most of the time. "You look gorgeous don't be shy." I lift my face up and he kisses my lips softly. He's been really understanding about me wanting to go slow. I don't want to tell him I need time to get over what he did to me in the dream world but I do.
We've been exploring each other's body every night now and I dare say minus one area there isn't a part of him that I don't know. At first I was surprised at his lack of scars and it made me feel so used and marred then he reminded me that he was pulled from hell his body was healed. Then I realized that he a disturbing amount of scars for only 3 years. I can't help it but I am mesmerized by the hand print on his arm. It's slightly warmer than the rest of his body. He seems to like it when I kiss it and touch it. He's unlike any of the other men I've been with. His body feels safe and warm not cold and scary. I can tell that he is sometimes straining not to take things further with me but he stays slow and gentle with me.
He has equally learned my body. He has given every scar personal attention to my embarrassment at first. The first night he tried to kiss them I started to panic and it took him a long time to calm me back down. I look at them has hideous horrible reminders of a dirty past but he seems to like kissing them and tracing them with his fingers. To be honest I have grown to like him kissing them and tracing them. He tells me how beautiful I look and how much he loves my body and I'm slowly starting to believe him.
I sit up and look down at him and I feel myself start to relax as he slides his hands down my sides. "I love you Dean." I say quietly. He sits up and kisses me. "I love you to Lara and I will love you forever." He says into my mouth.
The next morning we wake up and head out for our last day on the beach. I still can't believe we are leaving tomorrow. This has been so relaxing and amazing for all of us. Dean and Sam have gone off to get us all lunch and Gabby and I are lounging out on the beach. Neither of us are able to stop looking at our rings. We look at each other, smile, and giggle like school girls. "We're going to be sisters." I say to Gabby smiling.
She grabs me hand and smiles back. "We already are." We all spend the rest of the day relaxing in the sun and playing in the water. We had bought some boogie boards and have been catching the waves with them all week. Sam and Gabby go far out into the water for one last session in the ocean. They like to think no one knows what's going on but we're not stupid.
Dean and I stay out in the water just relaxing and floating. "Your brother is getting it on again." I say lazily.
Dean looks over and laughs. "That boy has become an exhibitionist over night! He never approved of any of my antics but now that he's the one doing them they're all of sudden ok." I playfully slap Dean's chest and he stands up and pulls me closer to him. "I don't miss any of my antics." He says into my ear. I know he's trying to reassure me and I pull back and kiss him.
"Don't worry we'll be getting up to our own soon." I see a wave coming up behind us and watch it smack into his head and he looks at me in shock and I laugh. He picks me up and slams me into the water in retaliation and I let out a shriek and push him under the water next.
He picks me up and puts me over his shoulder and carries me out of the water with me hitting his back laughing. "You better put me down Winchester!" I say laughing. He drops me on my towel and collapses next to me. He raises his eyebrows at me and pulls me into him and kisses me.
Gabby and Sam come walking up the beach towards us and Sam nudges Dean with his foot. "Get a room." He says jokingly. Dean looks at him and lets out a loud laugh. "Like you and Gabby have been doing every day around this time?"
Sam starts to say something and stops with his mouth wide open. Gabby starts to laugh and hits her hip into his side. "Come on Lara. We got to get ready for tonight." She leans down and helps me up.
Gabby decided that on our last night here we were all going to go out to a club for one last party. To be honest the last place I want to go is a club but I know Dean will be there to take care of me. Gabby has spent the entire trip trying to get Sam and Dean in a pair of flip flops because she said that their boots look ridiculous at the beach. Yesterday she finally found a pair that they said they would wear only because they have flasks in them. So now that they are dressed appropriately she has become even more insistent that we all go out.
We head back to our rooms and take a shower. I grab the bag of clothes that Gabby insisted I wear for the night and head to her room. She shoos Sam out of the room and sits me down on the bed. "I am going to do your make up tonight and you're going to look hot Lara." I let out a groan. I don't like wearing makeup. It reminds me of the missions. Once Gabby is done doing hers she does me. "Keep still Lara. I don't want to poke your eye out with the liner!"
I try not to move beneath her tools but I can't help but wiggle some. When she's done she hands me my clothes and tells me to put them on while she changes. She looks great. She has on a tight dark purple dress that shows off her back and a pair of gold strappy healed sandals. I put on the outfit she picked for me and blush in the mirror. It's a short sequined silver skirt with a black top that covers my back but plunges in the front. She told me I have to wear heals because I'm short and she got me a tall pair of strappy silver heals. I did however make one alternation. I added a thigh holster for a knife so I would feel a little better going out. "I look ridiculous." I said to Gabby has we were looking in the mirror. My eyes look so dark and smoky and my lips are a sultry red. This is not me at all.
She laughs. "You may think you look ridiculous but wait until Dean sees you in this. He is going to pass out." I examine myself in the mirror and resign myself to whatever crazy night Gabby has planned for us.
We walk into the hallway and run into our men. They both still refused to wear shorts and have on old jeans but they are wearing the flip flops with the flasks in them that Gabby insists they wear. Sam has on a simple white t shirt and Dean has on a simple black t shirt.
Dean saunters over to me and looks me up and down. "Maybe I should ask Gabby to dress you move often." I playfully hit him in the stomach and he leans down and kisses me. "You look great sweetheart." I blush and he puts his arm around my shoulders and we head out for the night.
The club really isn't that bad. Dean has stayed with me the entire night knowing how I feel about them. We've been drinking and dancing and by the look of the club we're not going to be done anytime soon.
The four of us just did another round of shots and I pull Dean back onto the dance floor and put his hands on my hips. I stand up on my toes and say into his ear. "This is how I wanted you to dance with me in Santa Fe."
He looks down at me and kisses me passionately. "That's what I wanted to do to you in Santa Fe." I blush and lean further into him. We dance a bit longer just moving to the music. It feels nice to be dancing and telling my body how to move with my dance partner and know that at the end of it I will be safe. He keeps his hands on my hips and kisses me while we dance. After a few songs we head back to our seats and Sam and Gabby are already there making out again.
We sit down and cough loudly so they stop and look back at us. Dean and Sam nod at each other and go off to get us more drinks. I sit down next to Gabby. "You guys looked pretty hot out there dancing." She said has she leaned into me. I laughed and leaned into her has well.
Two men sit down at our table and for a moment I think it's Sam and Dean coming back but when I look up I don't recognize them. "Hey ladies these seats taken?"
Gabby rolls her eyes and looks back at the men. "Actually they are. You might want to be gone before the occupants come back." The men laugh and take that has a dare.
The one across from me leans across the table and tries to grab my hand put I pull it back quickly. He stands up and walks next to me and pulls me out of my seat. "What can one dance hurt?" I start to panic. I try to pull away but his hand is tightly holding on to my arm. I hear Gabby stand up behind me but the other man stops her.
My breathing starts to become erratic and my vision starts to go in and out. I know I am about to have a panic attack but I can't seem to stop it. This is not going to happen again. Some man is not going to take me and do what he wants with me. I try to hit him of me but his grip just get's tighter.
I can't even see around him to try and get Dean's attention. Even if I could see around him it's too loud for me to call for him. "Come on just one dance. I know you'll enjoy it."
Tears start to well in my eyes and I feel myself get light headed. I just want to Dean to come back. I feel myself start to pass out then I remember my knife in my thigh holster. I pull it out with my free hand and put it to the man's neck. "You're going to let me go." I grow at him through my clenched teeth trying not to cry.
He looks at me and starts to laugh awkwardly. "Whoa there kitten put the claws back in." He says to me. The hand grabbing me lets go and I stumble back into my seat and I feel everything start to calm down again.
I look up and Dean has punched the guy who was touching me. The guy is grabbing his nose which is now bleeding and lunges back at Dean. Dean punches him again and he falls to the ground. He looks down at him daring him to stand up. The man tries to get up but Dean kicks him down and knows that he's down for the count. Dean rushes over to me and the dark look in his eyes start to fade and they grow concerned. "Sweet heart are you ok?" He asks me while he kneels in front of me and moves the hair from my face.
I shake my head no and bury my face in his neck and start to cry. I drop the knife on the table and before I know what is happening the man is pulling Dean away from me and tries to punch him again. Dean ducks and the guy misses the punch and hits the guy again. When the guy goes down he kicks him in the side and reaches down and grabs my hand. "We're leaving." He says to me picking up my knife.
I look over and the other guy is also lying on the ground but by the look on Sam's face Gabby had already punched him before he could get there. Dean puts his arm around my protectively and we leave the club.
Dean's POV
When I turned around and saw that man touching Lara I lost it. I now know the meaning of the term seeing red. I don't know if I have ever been more furious before in my life. It felt good to punch that guy. The look at Lara's face scares me though. She looked panicked and confused. I know it reminded her of her past and I want to kick myself for not keeping her with me all night. But she still tried to defend herself. When I pulled that guy off of her she had that knife to his neck and I think she would have cut him if she had too.
We get back to the room and she pulls out one of my t shirts and throws it on and crawls into bed. I know she needs comforting right now. She's shaking slightly and looks overwhelmed. I kick off the ridiculous shoes that Gabby made us get and kick of my jeans and crawl into bed next to her. She rolls into me and cries into my chest. I just hold her and try and comfort her. "I'm sorry honey. I said I would stay with you tonight and I leave for just a moment and that man touched you. I'm really sorry."
She cries harder into my chest. "You didn't do anything wrong Dean. I just panicked. I should have been able to fight him off like Gabby did but I was too afraid. It was like I was reliving one of my nightmares and my feet felt like they were in concrete."
"But you did fight him off sweetheart. You had that knife to his neck before I got there." I hold her and she cries until she falls asleep. I get up for just a moment to put on my pajamas and brush my teeth and jump back into bed. I pull her close and kiss her forehead. She's only been out a little while but I guess me getting back into bed startled her because she jumps awake and starts to hit at me. "Don't touch me Dean!" She yells at me
I reach over and turn the light on and look at her confused. "What's wrong Lara?" I ask her trying not to startle her. She's obviously still in her dream a bit. "What's wrong is that you forced yourself on me again. I am going to tell Bobby and he is going to kick your ass. Shouldn't you be with Lisa anyways?"
I don't reach out for her. She's still confused. "Lara honey that was a dream remember? Look down at your wrist. We're at the beach on vacation. Sam and Gabby are in a hotel room a few rooms down." I see reality start to sink and she looks around the room frantically.
Her eyes start to well up again and she falls into her pillow and starts to cry. I rub her back. "It's ok Lara. Don't get upset. It was just a dream." She turns her head slightly and looks at me. "I'm really sorry Dean."
I continue to rub her back. "What's wrong?"
Lara lets out another sob and rolls over on to her back. "I'm sorry I couldn't keep reality straight. I promise it won't happen again. Please forgive me." She says looking up at me with her big blue eyes.
"There is nothing to forgive what is going on?" I ask get getting scared. She looks at me and frowns. "I'm sorry I was having a dream and I got confused. You left me in that dream world because I couldn't keep reality straight and you couldn't handle it anymore. Please don't leave me."
I lean down and kiss her forehead. "We've talked about this sweet heart. I'm never ever going to leave you. What did you mean when you said I forced myself on you?"
She looks at me slightly afraid. "In that ridiculous world that Crowley made for me I woke up one night and you were…" She stops and starts to cry again. I pull her close to me. "I understand sweet heart you don't have to say anymore." So in that fake world I raped her. That's just great. I am going to kill him when I see him next. Like kill him with the colt so he actually dies and never comes back kill him.
"I'm sorry Dean." She says through sobs. "Hush now Lara. There is nothing to be sorry for. Just go back to sleep. We'll talk about it in the morning." She slowly drifts off into sleep and I hold on to her all night.
I can't seem to be able to sleep. I just keep thinking about what she lived with me for two months in her head. So what I've been able to figure out is that I was cheating on her, raped her, divorced her, and took our baby. She imagined all of that because she doesn't feel she deserves to be happy. That idea kills me.
Sometime before dawn I slowly drift off and wake up in the morning to see that Lara hasn't moved from my arms all night. I move my arm slowly and kiss her eye lids then her mouth and she wakes up. She smiles at me then I see realization flood her eyes and she looks upset again. "I'm really sorry about last night Dean."
I lean down and kiss her softly. "Lara we need to talk." She gives me a panicked look and sits up. "Not about that sweet heart. You said that all of those things happened because you changed it. You need to stop thinking you don't deserve to be happy. You do deserve it. We deserve to be happy and to have a family."
She looks at me sadly and lays into me. "I know Dean. I just have a hard time accepting it sometimes. After everything that has happened with me I just feel undeserving sometimes. But I am getting better I swear. Being with you makes me feel better and better about it every day."
"Good, just so you know that." She gives me a small smile and we get up and start to get ready. We all meet up and pile into the impala and head home. Lara was insistent that we take the giant teddy bear home and she put him in the back seat between Sam and Gabby. We decide to stop over night and I let Gabby win and we get two rooms for the night. Honestly it's kind of nice having our own room just me with Lara. I won't admit it but I think this is how hunts are going to go from now on.
We get home in the early evening and Bobby is sitting in the living room going through his books. He looks up when we come in. "How the hell have you guys been?" He asks with a laugh and walks over to us and gives the girls hugs and Sam and I a loud pat on the back.
Lara kisses his cheek. "We've been good Uncle Bobby. We had a great time at the beach but honestly I'm glad to be back home and to be sleeping in my bed tonight." Bobby blushes at Lara kissing his cheek and gives her a kind smile. "I'm glad you guys had fun and that you're home safe. What is that?" He asks pointing towards the giant teddy bear I'm carrying in for Lara.
Lara smiles and grabs the bear. "Dean won him for me." Bobby looks at me and starts to laugh. "I don't even have to make a joke about that one."
Cas suddenly appears in the living room. "I just wanted to make sure you all were safe. Raphael has been building interest in his cause." We all look at him. Lara walks over to him. "We're fine Cas. Why don't you stay with us tonight and we'll come up with a plan tomorrow."
Cas looks at her and nods. Bobby finally looks down at Gabby's hand and points. "Are you guys engaged too?" Gabby lets out a squeal and grabs Bobby in a tight hug. "Well I'll be! I never thought I would see the day where one of you boys got married let alone both of you!"
Lara and I head up stairs with our stuff and I hear Sam trying to get Bobby's room for him and Gabby. "Why don't you stay at Jody's tonight and Gabby and I can have your room?"
Bobby laughs loudly and slaps Sam's back. "Even if I wasn't sleeping here I wouldn't let you sleep in my bed boy. You guys would destroy it for me. I don't care if you're engaged or already married for 10 years there are just some things that aren't going to happen in my bed." And I hear Bobby walk back to the kitchen still laughing.
Lara is already in our room. She put the teddy bear in the corner and has our bags on the floor and she's sorting through what needs cleaned and putting things back in the drawers and the closet. I plop down on the bed and lay there for a moment. I did most of the driving and I'm exhausted.
After about 30 minutes Lara nudges me over and she climbs into the bed next to me. She rolls over and kisses me. "Dean?" She asks me. "Lara?" I ask back.
She laughs and kisses me again. "Dean I think I'm ready." I open my eyes and look at her. "I'm ready if that's ok with you. I think I just wanted our first time to be in our bed."
I sit up and grab her. I kiss her hard and push her back on the bed behind her and cover her with my body. "That is totally ok with me. But are you sure?" And I lean down and kiss her again.
She pulls off my shirt and throws it the ground and I pull off her tank top and help her slide out of her shorts. "I don't want to wait any longer Dean." That's all the more reassurance I need. I start too kiss her neck and she moans beneath me.
I feel a breeze and hear a flutter of wings behind me and I let out a frustrated laugh. It seems like every time we try to get together Cas or Sam has to butt in. "Not now Cas!" I yell without turning around and I lean down and start to kiss Lara again. She starts to hit at me and I look down and she looks scared. I turn around and I'm surprised at what I see. "I'm not Cas." He says stoically.
"Raphael?" I yell out.
