A Year of Seconds
The wooden boards softly creaked beneath Kakashi's bare feet as he paced from wall to wall. Combing a few fingers through his silver locks, he stopped mid-step and sighed. Holding up a small diamond ring within his palm, he rolled it between his fingers in thought. Ever since he bought this damn thing nearly a month ago, he felt like it was burning a hole inside his pocket.
After dating Sakura for nearly over a year and a half now, he had at first thought about taking their relationship to the next step and ask her to move in with him. Then the more he thought about it, the more he realized how much he simply wanted to make her his wife. Never in his life did he think he could be capable of ever feeling this way about anyone. He looked forward to each day and felt like he finally had a real purpose in his life.
And it was all thanks to her.
But every time he tried to pop the question during the past several weeks, he either lost his nerve or found the timing to be awful. Tonight they had planned their usual casual Friday night together to mark the beginning of the weekend, but he hoped to make it somewhat special enough so that he could finally ask her. He wasn't sure how much longer he could wait. Every time he was around her, he always felt like his heart could burst at the seams at any moment.
Clearing his throat, he stepped up to his tall bookshelf that was littered with Icha Icha novels and decided to rehearse what he hoped to say at some point tonight. "You know, it amazes me every time when I think about how we got to this point. Over the years we've both changed in so many ways… and I don't think I ever could have predicted how important you'd become in my life back then, but since we've been together, there hasn't been one day that I haven't thought about how thankful and lucky I am to have you with me. You mean more to me than I can ever describe… and I want nothing more than to have you always by my side."
Awkwardly lowering down to one knee, he held out the ring and said, "Will you marry me?"
Hearing a low cough, he turned to find Pakkun standing at the entrance from the hallway. "Hey Boss, I really think we need to have a talk about your Icha Icha obsession."
Glaring, Kakashi retorted, "Haha very funny."
The small pug sighed as he licked his paw. "I don't think I'll ever understand you humans and your strange courting methods."
Hearing a knock sound at the front door, the shinobi immediately stood up and nervously placed the ring within his pocket. "Pakkun, you promised you'd leave like an hour ago."
"But I'm curious how your 15th attempt will go."
Another knock sounded.
"Pakkun," Kakashi said in a warning tone.
"Okay, okay," the dog mumbled. Before poofing into thin air, he said, "I'm going. Good luck, Boss."
Sighing, Kakashi quickly smoothed the wrinkles out in his clothes and shook a hand through his hair in hopes it didn't look as ragged as it usually does when he wasn't wearing a headband to hold it out of his eyes. Jogging to the door, he took in a deep breath before opening it with a casual smile. "Hey Sakura-chan," he greeted.
Seeing that she had two large grocery bags in her hands, he immediately grabbed them from her and placed a kiss on her forehead. "Thanks for picking up the ingredients."
"Hey, that's no way to properly kiss me," Sakura said with a coy smile, lightly teasing at him for always wearing his mask out of habit even when he knew it was just her coming over. Standing up on her tippy toes, she pulled down his mask and gave him a proper kiss. Grinning, she stepped back and added, "Not a problem. You know how much I love cooking dinner with you. I hope you'll like what I picked for us to try and make from scratch tonight. It's something we haven't tried before."
Looking down into the bags, Kakashi curiously hummed from seeing an absurd amount of cheese and vegetables. "What is it?"
"Pizza!" she excitedly replied.
"Ah…" Kakashi evenly said, unsure exactly how romantic it was going to be proposing over pizza. Realizing that he sounded disappointed from the worried look within her green eyes, he added, "Ahhhhh-ha. Sounds pretty awesome to me. I can't say I remember the last time I've had pizza since no one makes it here in Konoha."
She beamed a smile once again. "Same here. I've gotten to only try some on a few missions that passed by through some towns that did it as a specialty. So I think it would be nice to learn how to make it so we can have it whenever we like."
Following him inside, Sakura closed the door behind them. Kakashi went into the kitchen and placed the bags down on the counter. Placing his hands within his pockets, he squeezed the ring and debated maybe just waiting until after they watched a movie she also picked out for their date night.
Sakura helped herself through the cabinets to pull out a few utensils and dishes that they were going to need for their cooking experiment. Pulling himself out of his daze of thought, he made himself useful by laying out their ingredients first before washing them.
Once prepared, they began to work together in making pizza dough for the first time. As they both took turns putting an ingredient into a large mixing bowl, Kakashi had tossed the last cup of flour a bit too hard which caused a white dust to billow up across Sakura's face just as she was about to pour a teaspoon of olive oil.
She gasped in surprise and then sneezed. "Kakashi!"
"S-Sorry, Sakura-chan," he half snickered while trying to hold back a laugh. She looked like a pink haired ghost. Gently brushing a few fingers across her face to take some of it off, he stopped at her cheeks to draw a thoughtful heart on each side of her face. "Cute," he lovingly said.
Unsure what he had drawn, she gave him an unamused glare with an endearing pout. "I'll show you cute."
Dipping her fingers into the unused bag of flour, she gently smeared the white powder across his bare face into some kind of design which he wasn't sure of what, but he grinned when she seemed rather satisfied at her artwork.
"Thanks," he dryly said which prompted her to giggle. Playfully tickling her in defiance, he resisted the urge to look at a mirror and began stirring the contents together once she finished adding the last few ingredients inside the bowl.
Time flew as they chatted about each other's day, each thinly silencing down various vegetables as they waited for the dough to rise up enough to get it ready to bake with their homemade sauce and toppings.
A mini food fight ensued over whose favorite toppings would end up mostly on the dividing line of the pizza. Once the pizza was placed inside the oven to be baked, they both sighed and looked at each other before bursting into laughter.
He pulled a mushroom out of the pink strands of her hair as she shook a few fingers in his own which rained shredded cheese.
"We might have gotten carried away," she said with a smirk.
Pulling another mushroom from her hair, he ate it and shrugged like he was oblivious. "Not sure what you mean."
Rolling her eyes, she lightly hit his hand as he tried to grab yet another vegetable out of her hair to snack on. "Let's get washed up, silly man."
Following her into the bathroom, he looked up to the mirror for the first time since she had come over. His mouth fell open in disbelief at what he saw. He had a white flour beard with two pepperonis somehow stuck on both side of his cheeks, making him look like a rosy colored Santa Clause.
Shooting her a glare, she proudly smirked before seeing his own little decorations he had sneakily placed across her face. Peeling a mushroom from over her seal, she flicked at him which he caught in his mouth.
"Mmm," he hummed. "Tasty."
She sighed. "I hate you sometimes."
"I'll still always love you anyway," he teased back.
Once they were both washed up, Kakashi suggested that they kill some time on the balcony before their dinner would be ready in about half an hour. Opening the sliding door for her, he closed it behind them after stepping out into the wooden deck. They both admired the village around them as lights began to flicker on one by one along the streets and windows. Soft orange hues of sunlight faded behind the horizon buildings in the distance as night slowly came to take its place.
Leaning against the banister, Kakashi glanced to Sakura as she admired the view below. Softly smiling to himself, he decided that she was indeed still the most beautiful woman in the world despite having a large mushroom still entangled in her hair that she must have missed. Plucking the mushroom from her locks and tossing it into a bush below, she shot him a suspicious look from feeling something briefly touching her hair.
Offering her an eye-crinkle of a smile, he smoothly placed a hand around her waist and pulled her into a hug. Sakura tightly squeezed him back, placing a chaste kiss against his neck. A warmth rose within his heart as he held her, reminding him all the more how much he wanted to feel this way for the rest of his life.
Should he ask her now?
Gently letting her go from his arms, he nervously placed his hands within his pockets, fumbling the ring in his left between his fingers as his heartbeat skipped a beat. He took a deep breath and tried to stand up straight in hopes he would find more confidence.
He can do this. He needed to do this.
"S-Sakura," he stammered, inwardly grimacing at already sounding like a stuttering idiot.
Turning towards him, she tilted her head curiously as she noticed his usually rigid posture. "Yes, Kashi-kun?"
Taking her hand, he cleared his throat and opened his mouth to recite what he had been practicing for weeks now, but as he stared into her eyes, for the life of him, he couldn't remember even one word of it. Butterflies flipped around in his stomach as he stood there completely drawing a blank. "Um… I…"
"Is something the matter?" she asked in concern.
"No, no, no. Nothing like that," he reassured her. "I-I just, um, wanted to say that…"
She stared at him with a raised brow.
"That…" He worriedly glanced down at their joined hands. This was not how he wanted to start proposing to her. Awkwardly patting her hand, he directed her to sit down on one of the balcony's lounge chairs before rushing to say, "That… I'll be right back. I'll go check on the pizza. Want anything to drink? It's kind of cool, but hot outside. How about some water? I'll get us some water."
He immediately disappeared into the apartment about as fast as his legs could carry him. Slapping his forehead in distress once he was inside, he grumbled aloud.
"Real smooth, Hatake," he mumbled to himself.
If he was really going to do this tonight, he needed to pull himself together. Glancing at his colorful bookshelf in the living room, he sighed at now suddenly remembering what he wanted to say. "Just perfect," he dryly added aloud.
Stretching out the muscles in his arms and taking another deep breath, he felt that he calmed his nerves down enough to give it another try this time. All he needed to do what just speak from the heart. Tell her how much she meant to him over the years. Tell her how much she helped pull him out of the self imposed guilt he had carried with him throughout most of his life from the past. Tell her how she made him want to start living in the future… a future that he wanted to share with her.
With that thought in mind, he took in another breath before marching back out into the balcony with new found determination.
Glancing to his hands in confusion, Sakura asked, "Um… where's the water?"
He stopped in his tracks like a deer in headlights, lowly chuckling as he scratched the back of his hair. "Oh, uh… Be right back."
Retracing his steps back through the door, his shoulders slumped as he went into the kitchen. How could he have forgotten the excuse he used to suddenly leave?
"God help me," he muttered.
After checking the pizza and grabbing two glasses of water, he went back outside and prayed she didn't ask why he forgot in the first place. Luckily she didn't, and they carried on with some general conversation before they heard the timer going off signaling that their creation was done. Although he was disappointed in himself that he ended up not proposing yet, he figured the good of it was having more time to mentally prepare himself to get the words just right.
Grabbing two colorful red oven mittens, Kakashi carefully opened the oven to find a pretty tasty looking golden pizza bubbling nicely on the rack. Reaching for it, he stopped. "Oh wait, how should we get this out?" he asked.
Sakura hovered behind him, peeking around his arm. "Oh, um… shoot. I didn't think about that not baking it on a pan. Maybe let's just pull the rack out?"
Having her stand back, he pulled the oven door down a little wider and began to tug at the edge of the metal rack. It was working well until he was forced to tilt it upwards to lift it from the metal rails, causing the whole pizza to slide backwards.
Kakashi held his breath as it fell to the second rack below.
"Where do you keep your cookie sheet?" Sakura asked. "Maybe we can just slide it on there."
"Ah, good idea. It's in that bottom cabinet near where the measure cups are."
Once he had the pan, he took a fork and slowly pulled it towards the edge to fall on the pan below with success. Letting it cool on the counter for a few minutes, they cut it into pieces and divided it between them.
Taking their plates into the living room and placing them on the coffee table for a moment, Sakura popped in the movie she brought into the VCR as Kakashi refilled their cups from earlier with fresh water and ice.
Settling down on the couch, Kakashi raised one of his slices towards his mouth only to have all the toppings slide off into his plate. He sighed as he stared at his piece that was now covered in just sauce and some stringy cheese now. Feeling bummed for Sakura that their pizza wasn't perfect, he looked up in surprise to find her giggling.
"Oh no!" she laughed in good humor. "I guess maybe we put too many toppings on it? Or perhaps there isn't enough cheese?" she wondered aloud.
"Well you did put most of it in my hair," he jested. Taking a bite, he picked a few of the fallen toppings with his fingers and popped them in his mouth. "Still tastes pretty good though."
"We'll figure it out next time," she said with smile.
Watching her take a seat beside him, he felt relieved that she wasn't even remotely upset about it.
"Sooo," Sakura began to say as she clicked the television on with the remote. "I figured a cheesy romance movie would be perfect with our cheesy pizza."
He smiled in amusement. "Oh, yeah?"
"Ino and Hinata recommended it, so it should be pretty good I think."
A romantic movie… he had high hopes that maybe it would help set the mood for him to finally ask her to marry him. Given it was over an hour long, he'll at least have some time to think about exactly how he was going to do it. He only caught a few glimpses here and there of what was actually happening in the story since his mind was elsewhere, but it seemed decent enough and she seemed to enjoy it so far.
Letting her lie against his chest to watch the rest of the film after they finished eating, he tensed up when he saw the one of the main characters propose in the movie, fluttering his nerves and tying his stomach in knots all damn over again. Sneaking a glance towards her, she didn't seem to notice his pounding heart within chest for a few seconds as she awed happily at the screen.
Taking in a silent breath, he tried to get a grip on himself. He felt silly getting so worked up over something so… important? He sighed. He couldn't lie to himself that it wasn't to make himself feel better. Slouching slightly against the couch in wanting to mentally berate himself, he shook his head.
Stop it. Focus. You can do this.
Thinking about what he should do, he pondered about maybe taking her back out in balcony again for atmospheric sake since his apartment rather cramped and not exactly special. Or actually he liked the idea of going up on the roof which they would sometimes do to go watch the stars. Yeah, that seemed like a good idea. They could do that after the movie, but he had to hope that it wasn't cloudy tonight. Glancing towards the darkened blinds over windows, he couldn't really tell from here.
Before he knew it, he looked up to find that the credits were rolling. The movie was over… and while his nerves were on fire, he took all this time during the movie to psyche himself up to find the confidence to follow through with what he's wanted to ask since what felt like forever ago. He didn't want her to go home tonight before asking her to be his wife.
Feeling something strangely wet, he looked down to find Sakura burying her face into his shirt. Her shoulders shook slightly, making him fearful that something was terribly wrong.
Picking herself up with her elbows, her face was red as she sniffled. Wiping away her tears, she stared at him in confusion. "You didn't find it sad?" her voice cracked.
He froze. "W-what?"
She sighed in disappointment before sitting up all the way. "They died! How can you have such a heart of steel?"
Kakashi glanced back at the credits which did have rather sad sounding music playing in the background. Shit. They did? Blankly staring at her, he blundered out, "Oh… well, of course it's sad."
He slumped as he watched her get up and walk towards the bathroom, shutting the door tight with a sound of a lock. Wringing his hands in his hair, he felt like the world really must be against him. Now she was upset and wasn't entirely sure if it was because he seemed like an emotionless robot instead of comforting her. He should have been paying attention… but he thought this was a soapy romantic movie?!
Sitting up from the couch, he walked over to the television and turned it off. Picking up the box the video and came in, he flipped over the back to read the summary. "Watch as two people find love amidst a war and then…" He sighed. "Tragedy strikes."
His expression deadpanned.
Dropping the box on the floor, he wondered what the hell he could do to try and save this night. Hanging his head low, he supposed that it just wasn't meant to be tonight. Yet again he managed to pick an awful day trying to propose to her without trying. Reaching within his pocket to feel the ring, he stood still in disbelief that it wasn't there.
"Are you kidding me?" he whispered aloud as he searched his other pocket. Pulling them both inside out, there was absolutely nothing there.
He seriously couldn't believe his luck. Even if he had wanted to go through with it like he had planned, he wouldn't have gotten very far without the damn ring.
Frantically pulling up one of the cushions in the couch to search, he immediately dropped it back down when he heard the bathroom door unlock and open. Trying to look casual, he looked up to her and said, "Um…"
"I'm sorry," Sakura suddenly apologized. "I guess I kind of felt embarrassed about crying at a lame movie… I didn't mean to be upset at you or anything. I'm not… I just… feel silly."
Sighing, he motioned her to come. "It's not silly at all, Sakura. Trust me, I've shed a few tears before at a movie… and I'll even admit a few books."
Stepping into his arms as he pulled her into a hug, she looked up with a surprised look. "Oh, you have? Like what?"
He sighed, rubbing her back to comfort her. "Well, there was this animated one… I was just, I don't know, I didn't expect the lion to fall down to his death and then this little cub-" His cheeks suddenly grew warm. Clearing his throat, he continued, "Well, you know what it doesn't matter, but fact is it's nothing to be ashamed about. Everyone does at one thing or another. It just means that you enjoyed it and that's what's most important. Don't be afraid to cry around me. It doesn't make me think any less of you, it makes me admire you all the more. I'll always love you no matter what."
Smiling, she reached up and gave him a thoughtful kiss. "You're too good to me sometimes, you know that, right?"
Kakashi hummed, kissing her cheek. "I think it's the other way around."
After giving him one last kiss, she pulled back and happily sat down on the couch in good sprits again. "Hey, how about we watch something else that's-" She suddenly stopped mid-sentience, sitting up for a moment to look at something that was under her. Pulling out a golden diamond ring, she glanced up in confusion. "What's this?"
His face drained.
This could not be happening. He wanted to pinch his arm to make sure this was real, but was too terrified to move. How in the hell was he going to explain what it was and where it came from? Now the surprise of wanting to ask was ruined… and his idea of doing something heartfelt and romantic was now gone out the window too. He felt obligated to ask her right now, but the moment wasn't right. She just cried like minutes ago. But what else could he really do?
Kakashi stammered, "T-That's just, um… well."
There was no way out of this. He couldn't lie and tell her it was something else. It was either now or never. Taking the seat next to her, he swallowed down his nerves and sighed before uttering out, "Sakura, I'm sorry. This isn't how I imagined doing it, but I don't know what else to say. I've been carrying that damn thing for nearly a month now and I've been trying to ask you to marry me almost every day, but either one thing goes wrong or another. Look, I love you more than anything else in this world and I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you. Will… you marry me?"
Her cheeks were growing a bright red and her mouth fell slightly open in disbelief, slowly looking between him and ring. The seconds of silence that stretch between them felt like a year. No, more like an eternity.
Uncomfortably looking away feeling his heart drop in his gut, he figured that he must have really blown it. Maybe it was too soon to ask? Most couples waited a couple years before tying the knot, but he had just felt so sure about it, especially after what they've already gone through in the war. For shinobi, the time you had on this Earth was just too unpredictable. Life can be far too short… and he knew that better more than anyone.
"O-Of course I'll marry you."
Listening the words that he'd longed to hear for so long now, he looked up in disbelief, softly whispering, "W-What?"
"I'll marry you," she repeated, this time with a bit more confidence.
"…Really?"
"Yes."
"…Seriously?"
She smacked his chest. "Yes! Kakashi," she laughed. Wiping at the edge of her eyes that were becoming watery, she sniffed. "I swear to God I don't usually cry this much in a single day."
He smiled as he took the ring from her grasp, shakily pulling out her left hand before extending out one of her fingers. Feeling even more embarrassed that his hand wouldn't stop trembling, he gently placed the ring on, kissing her hand once he was finished. "It's okay, I swear I'm usually not this nervous."
They hugged and didn't let go for a long time. Everything that he had tried to practice and be even remotely like he pictured in his head didn't happen whatsoever, but he couldn't find himself to care as much since he couldn't seem to stop smiling now. There was so much he still wanted to say, but felt he could wait just a little while longer as he continued to hold her. He couldn't wait to start their new life together.
The End
[ Author Note: You know one of my favorite kind of KakaSaku is usually riddled with cheesy-ness. :p I seem to can't help myself.
This little story is for Raposaselada's KakaSaku Pizza Giveaway on tumblr based on a pizza and movie night prompt. There are so many things on my desktop that I'm almost finished with (it's frustrating), but I've been having a hard time creative wise doing so and really wanted to give this challenge a go to at least try and put something together.
Thanks for reading and I hope yall enjoyed it. This is unbetaed and typed up after a long grumbling weekend, so apologizes for any mistakes. ]
