A/N: Thank you for all the support. This chapter is a bit angsty, but there is some fluff. Also, I really had no time to write at all since my semester already started, so it's a short chapter. Sorry guys.
I love your reviews so keep them coming :D
I have absolutely no knowledge of medicine. The little I mentioned here was what I gathered from the Internet. I apologise for any mistakes regarding that.
Sorry for typos and mistakes.
Happy reading :3
The Consequences
Following her kidnapping and subsequent rescue, Tara spent two days under observation. Doctors had examined her carefully, especially since she was pregnant and they feared the worst.
Luckily, she had no injuries to the cervical spine. Her hyoid wasn't broken, though her throat did hurt. It was swollen and she had trouble speaking. She was overall exhausted from the emotional trauma she had suffered.
After they discharged her, Jax took her back to Gemma's. She needed to rest and Jax wouldn't even let her go to the bathroom by herself. He would scoop her up in his arms and carry her to the toilet, wait patiently until she was done, and then help her get dressed.
When she needed to shower, Jax would wash her, his rough hands gently massaging her aching body. He would even comb her hair afterwards.
During the day, they didn't speak a word. Tara withdrew in her shattered psyche, leaving Jax to fight his own demons.
It was only during the night that she sought the warmth of his body and protection of his familiar, strong embrace.
She would wake up in sweat, still feeling Kohn's hands wrapped around her neck, still hearing his curses.
Jax would call her name times and times until she would wake from her trance. Pulling her closer to him, his arms would wrap protectively around her tiny frame. He would stroke her hair gently and whisper how much he loved her and how much he was sorry.
Tara would bury her face in his chest and sob quietly, wishing her pain and Jax's to go away. Her fingers would curl around his neck and that was the only she was able to go back to sleep.
Jax was trying to be strong for her, his old lady. But even his strength had its limits. He couldn't bear to watch her torture herself with thoughts of that sick fucker. He wanted to cry every time his gaze froze on her bruised neck that still bore impression of Kohn's fingers.
Her lovely face was still pale and she could barely eat anything. He noticed that she avoided looking at him, her eyes always fixed on something in front of her, her hands resting protectively over her belly.
He never left the house. He talked to Gemma on the phone every day, but he never told her what happened. Lying to her became a habit, just like smoking at least two packs of cigarettes a day.
Instead of punching someone, Jax smoked almost non-stop. In spite of constant coughing, he just couldn't get rid of it. He would smoke to prevent himself from cry, from screaming, from beating someone to a pulp, from trashing his mother's house.
Abel was ok, happy to spend some time with Nate, and Jax was glad that at least he and Gemma managed to save themselves from this suffering.
The distance that was being created between him and Tara terrified him. He dreaded losing her. Her nightmares were his nightmares. Jax often wondered what would have happened if they hadn't come when they did.
Would she still be alive? What if he had lost her and their baby? What would have become of him?
He was already losing it when she was gone for less than a day. If he had lost her forever, what would have happened?
The silence between them was deafening. The situation went on for five days before Jax decided he couldn't take it any longer.
Tara was lying in bed, curled on her side. Jax was sitting in an armchair, the words he wanted to speak but never did choking him. He leaned forward with his elbows on his knees and his hands wrapping around his head. Finally, he decided to speak, his voice etched with pain and sorrow.
-"Babe. I'm lost here, Tara. I'm trying to put us back together, but I don't know if I can. I don't know what to do here." – his voice broke.
He was surprised when she spoke, her voice hoarse.
-"I know, Jax." – Tara sat up, pulling her legs to her chest and leaning her head on her knees.
Jax began crying as he looked at her eyes that held no life in them.
-" I just feel so far away from you now. I need you, Tara. And I know you need me. I can't do this without you. We've been growing apart and that's killing me. I see you falling apart and you won't let me help you."
Jax got up, his face wet with tears. He walked slowly to her, the floorboards screeching with every step he took. He fell on his knees next to the bed, his hands reaching up to take Tara's. Hesitantly, she took them, tears pooling in her eyes.
-"I keep seeing his face, Jax. I feel his hands on me. I hear his voice. I can't forget the way he looked at me. I'm disgusted with myself." – she spoke quietly before she started coughing.
Jax got up and poured her a glass of water. She drank it thirstily. He sat beside her on the bed.
-"You never told me what he did to you."
She cleared her throat, still feeling uncomfortable to speak about anything. But this was Jax. The man she loved.
Tara was well aware of the agony that he was going through as well. His hair was tousled, his goatee a bit longer. His expression was etched with concern for her, his eyes bloodshot from hardly ever sleeping.
She knew that this whole situation was taking a great toll on him too and she wished she could wave with some magic wand and erase it all. But it was impossible.
-"It wasn't so much what he did. It was what he said, how he said it. It just... returned me to that time when I felt weak. Before I met you. And I truly felt I was over it. But after this, it's like I can't forget it no matter how much I try."
-"I want to help you, babe. I'll help you forget it all. We have to be strong for our kid. She's gonna need her mommy." – Jax caressed her cheek.
Tara leaned into his touch, holding back a sob. She cupped his face and wiped his tears.
-"I'm sorry, Jackson. I'm sorry this happened. I feel like shit for going behind your back, listening to Wendy and wanting to help her. Look where it got us." – the guilt was clear in her voice.
-"Babe, this was not your fault. None of it. She's a fucking deranged junkie. You're too good to see the bad in people. But that bitch and that sick psycho will pay for everything. He won't ever come anywhere near you again."
Tara wrapped her arms around his shoulders, her face buried in his neck, inhaling the scent of cigarettes. As weird as it was, she didn't mind. It was familiar and comforting. It was Jax.
-"I love you, baby."
-"I love you, babe."
(So, the Kohn thing is over, but there are certain consequences of his actions. Tell me if you liked this chapter or not. Love you all xoxo)
