Chapter 54: Castle Heast
I slowly wake to the rising sun outside my stone framed window. I crawl out of bed and into the bathroom to take a quick shower and in the closet I find some black sweatpants and a tshirt, it's sorta to big but it will do. I walk down stairs and its only Leia. The whole place looks different. Everything uncovered and the light shinning through now. She is making something to eat. I walk through the large living room. There is a stone fireplace on the wall. 3 large sofas. And a dinning room off the kitchen. It's very open though. You can see anything from anywhere you stand. Stone pillars stand around various spots of the room for support.
"Wow, you really know how to clean up." I say, she startles and looks at me.
"Oh, I'm glad your up. Come eat." She grabs a pre made plate off the kitchen tables and brings it over to one of the sofas and sits down, motioning me to sit next to her. I walk over and sit down, she hands me the plate and I begin to eat the bread and eggs. "Poe and Maz left not that long ago. They went to get supplies and some... Important... People. It's better to keep you here than anywhere else. I just want to know something Darling." She looks at me with such a mothering face. I forget that I'm in love with her son, married to him.
"Anything." I say in between mouthfuls. The food tastes so good.
"How is he?" She says, her eyes swelling with tears. I swollow the food in my mouth hard and put my plate on the small table next to the couch. I turn and hold her hands, I want her to know that I trust her, to feel that I'm trying to make a connection to her. I need her help if Snoke comes for me.
"He is okay. I wish I could tell you more about how all this came to be, but rite now it's just to painful. All I can tell you is that he isn't a bad person Leia, but he is to Dark to ever be Light and I realized that and that's why I came back." Even talking about him opens the hole in my chest back up, wrenching my heart in different directions, I feel I might cripple beneath my sorrows. I'm drowning in memories of his touch. "I love him" I say to her.
She reaches up and brushes a tear off my cheek before brushing one off her own. She looks down at the necklace hanging down just over the top of my belly.
"Did he give this to you?" She says, she hold the tiny carved object in her hand. I almost feel sick that she is touching it.
"Yes." I say. I want to take it out of her hand and hold it close. She drops it.
"When the babies come, we will stay here. If word gets out about this, people will come for them... Want them destroyed. Spawn of the dev..." She stops herself. "They don't understand him like you and me. I wont let anything happen to you or those sweet babies. It's all I have left of Han and Ben. I want to protect them just as much as your do." She's is so sincere but part of me thinks she is doing this for her own selfish gain, to be closer to the two people she lost. Ben is dead to her, I fell in love with Kylo Ren, not Ben Solo.
"Your so sweet, and to take me in when I gave you the cold shoulder just a days before. I should have never left to go back to him, but I understand now. My place is here. With you." I say, I'm lieing through my teeth, all I want is to be with Kylo. And my visions give me hope. "I'm going to go for a walk." I say, I need to clear my head.
"Okay, they should be back soon. Please don't walk far." She says. She pats my stomach and the babies roll around. I love feeling them move. To think the whole time I thought there was only one. Leia helps me to my feet and I make my way outside. The sun shining on my skin.
Why would Ana show me these visions of happiness, of us being a family, of sadness, or any of this if Kylo would die? Seems so unfair. He has to come back. But she also left out this little boy... Where is he in my visions... The thought makes my stomach sick. I find myself walking through the fields. I don't even have shoes on. I make my way over to the edge of the lake. I can still see the stone house in the far distance behind me. The wind blowing in my hair. I close my eyes and imagine I'm in the meadow. The way the sun hits my skin just right to give me a warm feeling. I wish I wasn't wearing so much clothing. I open my eyes and reality sets in. I fall to my knees and buckle under the wall of tears.
"Why did you have to pull away Kylo. You left me... Alone..." I cry into my hands. I have gotten use to for a whole year, Kylo being in my head and being in all my thoughts. I forgot what being alone felt like. I feel like I'm suffocating in my own thoughts now.
I would do anything to be near him right now. How much I'm drawn to him, to his scent, to his appearance, to even the darkness that flows off him. Suddenly it's a flash of white in front of my eyes.
Im standing in the rain, looking out over a dark plain, a field of some sort but its dark out and I cant see far, A tiny figure in my vision, he turns around and I'm stunned. A child like Kylo with slightly different features... The boy. From my side Ana tugs at my cloak.
"We need to leave, it isn't safe mommy." She says. The boys eyes, yellow, his eyes narrow.
"Come here, please." I yell out to him. They have to be 5/6 years old. Just a youngling but Ana seems terrified of her brother. I can feel the darkness, so much of his father in him. I don't feel that from Ana, I feel her light.
"You should not be here mother." He says. He reaches to his side and withdraws a child size lightsaber. Red like Kylos. "You should not have came."
"Stop this, what are you doing?" I plead with him. Ana tugs harder on my cloak.
"Leave!" He yells with his small voice, the ground starts to shake and the earth cracks open causing me and Ana to fall to our knees. My heart racing, she fell away from me. To far for me to reach, she's on the other side of the crack. Suddenly a strong arm wraps around me pulling me to my feet. I look over my shoulder to see Kylos mask. I feel like he is real, touching me, his arm wrapped around me.
"Your here." I whisper. The vision stops and I open my eyes back to the water. Tears falling. I feel more broken than ever before. An evil son and a good daughter? Is that what this is. I don't get what she is showing me. Why now she is showing me him and not before or is this him showing me?
I feel lost. For a few moments I look at the water and think about Kylos arm around me and how much I crave his touch.
Does he crave mine just as much? I force myself to my feet and turn and wlk up the slight hill to the stone structure.
I make it almost to the door just in time to see Maz and Poe landing. I make my way slowly to their ship and watch the ramp lower. Two people I dont recognize get off and walk over to me and introduce their self's. They are perfesional, but dirty. I can tell they are resistance. They look like they have been through hell. One man short and plumpy with a soft face, he looks kind. The other man tall with a flat face and large bird nose. His limbs long and slender, he clears his throat.
"I am Doctor Jeckle, this here is my assistant, Burg. We are going to take good care of you." Just as hes talking. Poe, Maz, and Finn come out of the ship laughing and talking. It distracts me from the other thing the doctor was mumbling about.
"Ahh Rey, I see you meet two of my close friends already. Cant wait for this little lady to catch up, huh?," she nudged the thigh of the fat man and he chuckles. "Lets go inside, Poe and Finn will bring in everything." I glance over to Poe and Finn, quickly locking eyes with Finn. He looks away fast. I frown and turn to walk to the house. Leia waiting in the doorway, watching me. Im glad I will have good doctors to watch over these next few weeks though. For that im thankful but my mind shifts back to the vision. My head spining.
** Hi everyone! Thank you for reading. Ill update again Mon or tuesday. Im going away for the weekend to a Bachlorette Party! So i wont have time to write. The next chapter will get intense between Finn and Rey, and Poe defending Rey. Happy Weekend! **
