A/N: I wanted one more chapter from Kurt's POV, then it will be Finn's again. And Finn will be thinking about…. Cue the dramatic music…..Dun Dun Dun!

On the other hand, does anyone besides me actually remember their first time? I'm amazed at the number of fics (and movies, and books) that have the birds singing and flowers blooming and everything goes perfectly the entire time. I seem to remember a lot or groping, quite a bit of pain, and a few faces and noises that should never see the light of day again. Just sayin'

Kurt POV

There was no way I was going to get through today. At least not without doing something like molesting Finn in a hallway or having to jerk off in the boys room. God I hoped it didn't come to that. Galinda gave a giggle at the word 'come', and I mentally glared her back into submission. I couldn't imagine anything less sexy then touching myself in a smelly, filthy boy's room.

Well, it's that or your car. The car is infinitely cleaner, plus the locks on it actually work, but it would break your precious 'no sex in the car' rule. Or does sex with yourself not count?

Apparently it wasn't as easy as it appeared to subdue Ms. Galinda. And no, I would not be touching myself in the car. I had fallen pretty low, but not that low.

Yet.

That one I would give her. Ever since Finn had called last night, with the exciting news that things might actually start happening now, I had barely been able to contain myself. I don't know why I never thought of asking Rachel's fathers for advice, since they were right here and had nothing to hide. For once, Finn had outsmarted me.

You probably didn't think to ask, because who could really trust the judgment of two men who created Rachel Berry.

That was true. But Finn swore that they had both been as kind as possible about everything, and that I should feel completely comfortable asking them questions. According to him, they were both awesome, which was good enough for me. Finn had become less trusting recently, especially with men, and it was good that he had accepted them and felt comfortable with them. I just didn't know that I could get over the humiliation.

For Finn? I'll be that you could.

For Finn, I was willing to do just about anything. But I was an intensely private person, and the thought of discussing my sex life with people I didn't even know, people who I might have to see again at Glee events made me shudder. It was just too much. Maybe I would just let Finn tell me, or better yet, show me, what he had learned. That would be the same thing, right?

This is Finn Hudson we're talking about. He can't remember all the directions to make a frozen pizza, and you're going to trust him to shove something inside your body?

I was going to have to. Even if I felt like talking to Rachel's fathers, there wasn't going to be any time before this afternoon, which was when I had promised Finn that we would explore his newfound knowledge. Besides, he was apparently going to trust me to shove something in his, so I guessed I owed him the same amount of courage.

You do. You know that Finn wouldn't hurt you.

Not on purpose. But I had seen Finn fall down the stairs or crack his head on things often enough to know that accidents happened a lot around him. I was going to trust him, though, and trust that he knew what was best. Now I just had to will my hard on away, so I could take my messenger bag out of my lap and strand up.

Finn naked, Finn naked, Finn naked! Galinda wasn't helping at all.

I tried to block her out, filling my head with the most repulsive images ever. Let's see, the boys locker room floor, Karofsky in a tutu, Rachel Berry dressing herself, Dad and Carole having sex- oh God, that did it.

That did it plus some.

And just like that, Galinda and I were in perfect agreement again. I stood up, after making a quick hair check, of course, and strutted out into the hall. I probably wouldn't see Finn right now, since his next class was remedial math and that was on the other side of the school. Sigh.

Someone gave my shoulder a gentle bump. I turned around to see Tina laughing gently at me. "Hi Kurt. You're awfully smiley today."

I couldn't tell her the real reason, so I just laughed. "I'm just happy. Don't you ever have days when you're just happy for no reason?"

"No. Well, not as happy as you're acting. Did you and Finn finally do it? Because he's walking around with a stupid smile, too."

"No. Finn and I have not 'done it', as you so elegantly put it, and, when we do, it's not going to be a topic for discussion." There, that sounded snippy enough, right?

Apparently not, because now Tina was laughing. "Liar. When you and Finn finally do it, you'll be calling me and Mercedes as soon as the pillow talk is done."

Yeah, probably. "I will neither confirm nor deny such a blasphemous accusation. Why don't we talk about your sex life with Artie?"

She gave me a heavy sigh. "There is no sex life with Artie! Believe me, it's not because I don't want one, either. Isn't it the girl who's supposed to want to hold out while the guy is pushing for more? No, Artie barely wants to touch my breasts, much less go any further!" She must have seen my mouth opening, because she held up a hand to stop me, and leaned down to whisper in my ear. "And don't say that it's because he's in a wheelchair, either. His dick still works, he told me so."

This was so much more then I wanted to hear about Tina's sex life. "Ok…" That seemed like a safe thing to say.

"I mean, why would he say that unless he wanted me to get to know it, right? How did you let Finn know that you were ready to go further?"

"I…." How could I put this without making myself sound like a complete tramp? "Well, we just kind of let things move naturally. When it felt right for us to take things to the next level, we did. I don't know that we really talked about it until it came to discussing actual sex."

Actually, that wasn't me attempting to be modest. Things with Finn had just flowed naturally, with neither one of us pressuring or rushing the other. Would any relationship be like that? Or did I have something special?

Obviously you have something special. If Finn wasn't special, he wouldn't be worthy of you.

Trust Galinda to put it as succinctly as possible. When she wasn't being a wanton tramp or a vapid bitch, she was actually a pretty good mental companion. Much better then the bitch that Finn has confessed lives in the back of his brain.

Luckily, Tina was unaware of my mental debate. "That doesn't help! Should I just do something slutty? You know what, that's exactly what I'm going to do." She swept me up in a hug that nearly lifted me off my feet. "Thanks, Kurt! You give the best advice." Then she was gone, muttering to herself about how Artie wasn't going to know what hit him.

I've finally concluded, after many missteps, that 90% of giving advice is just listening and letting the other person bounce ideas off of you until they come to the right conclusion on their own. Especially since my right wouldn't necessarily be Tina's right, or Finn's right, or even Mercedes' right. This way, everyone ended up happy.

Too bad that doesn't do anything for your little problem. Or should I call that thing a big problem?

And the wanton tramp was back. Not that she didn't have a point, but still. It didn't matter, though, because there was nothing to be done about my problem, big or little, at the moment. I had class to get to, and I wouldn't be seeing Finn for the next hour and a half. I would be able to get myself under control by then. Hopefully.

Usually, I had a very specific route I walk from class to class. This had less to do with efficient time management or even my schedule, and more to do with avoiding the possible danger spots in the school. For example, I never, under any circumstances, did I pass the boys locker room unless I was in a group of people. That was ground zero for homophobes and cowards in a group can be more dangerous then almost anything else in the world. If they managed to pull me in there without anyone else seeing….well, I tried not to think about that.

That was the worst place, but I also avoided most of the doors to the outside, especially those located near our dumpsters, the cafeteria because of the slushies, and the gym because you never know when Coach Sylvester might be lurking around. Well, that and the smell of 1500 poorly washed teenage boys.

My routine had served me fairly well over my year and a half at William McKinley High. Most of my dumpster dives now took place either before or after school (though they had dropped to nearly nonexistent since Finn took up for me), and, while I still got slushied fairly regularly, it was no more then any other member of the Glee club. I still had to be alert, but that was second nature to me now.

Perhaps my success had made me a little bit careless, because I had no warning before I was grabbed and drug backwards into what I quickly recognized as the janitors closet. Karofsky had his hand over my mouth, preventing me from screaming for help, so I slammed my head backwards instead, hoping to knock the wind out of him.

"Fuck Kurt! Are you trying to kill me?" The hand fell away, but the voice wasn't Karofsky's at all, and for a minute, I was confused. Why did Karofsky suddenly sound like…"Finn?"

"Yes, Finn! Your boyfriend, the one you just tried to fucking kill!" His voice wasn't much louder then a whisper, but I couldn't tell if I had actually hurt him, or if he was just trying to be discreet.

I sagged against him and buried my face in his chest, just glad that I was safe. His arms came up around me and he rubbed my back. "I'm sorry, Kurt, I thought you saw me reach out for you. I didn't mean to scare you."

"You didn't." He had terrified me, but I didn't want to let him know that.

"Baby, your heart is beating like a little rabbits." He kissed the top of my head. "It's alright, I won't hurt you."

I knew that. So I forced myself to calm down and peeked up at Finn. "Why are we in the janitor's closet?" I had a sneaking suspicion, but I wanted to hear him admit it.

"Oh. Well, I was sitting there in math, and I couldn't stop thinking about, you know, what we're going to do today. So, I though that I could find you, and we could have a quickie."

This would usually be the part where I reminded Finn that he was supposed to be paying attention to his schoolwork, not what was in my pants, but this time I let it go. Finn was trying so hard in math, harder then I had ever tried myself, and he just wasn't getting any better. He was so frustrated with the entire subject that I had learned to just not bring it up. He would accept my help for a short period, then give up and shut down on me. So I ignored that part of his statement and focused on the rest of it. "I am not having a quickie with you in our janitor's closet. That is filthy and disgusting and anyone could walk in on us. Anyone! The answer is no, so get that thought right out of your head."

Then his hand was at the front of my pants, and I realized that my cock was rock hard. He smirked at me. "Your mouth says 'filthy and disgusting'. Your dick is saying 'lets do it.'

I took a deep breath and tried to keep from thrusting against his hand. Acting like a cat in heat was not going to help me any. "That would be the adrenaline left in my body from when I thought that you were going to kill me. It has to come out somehow."

Another smirk. "Does it matter why you got hard, or just that you did?"

Check and mate.

The final bell rang, saving me from the humiliation of having to answer. "What class are you missing?"

"Spanish, so it's ok to miss."

He wasn't exaggerating. Ever since what had happened at his apartment, where Finn had made a stand and won, Mr. Shue has been treading very carefully around him. He wouldn't say anything about Finn's tardiness, even if he ended up missing the entire class. "I, uh….." His hand was rubbing gently now, his teeth nibbling on my earlobe. "You are not playing fair, Cowboy."

"I'm horny." It came out a whine. "Please, Kurt? I promise I won't ask you for anything else. Well, not today."

The harder I got, the more my resolve weakened. I was officially out of excuses, and I didn't want to risk damaging or straining this pair of pants. They had cost more then I liked to admit, and they were dry clean only. "If we get caught, I'm blaming the suspension and possible child porn charges on you." He pressed up against my back, and I could feel his cock against my ass.

"I can live with that." He rubbed against me, grumbling softly. One hand came around to unbutton my pants, and, this time, I let him. "Want me to suck it?"

Were all boyfriends this obsessed with giving head? From what I understood, most people were way more interested in receiving. I certainly was, though I wasn't averse to sucking a little cock myself.

If we all had Finn's natural talents at blow jobs, we would all be so crazy about giving them. Stick with what you're good at.

Speaking of what Finn was good at, he boosted me up so I was sitting on an abandoned desk. The angle still wasn't the best, but desperate times called for desperate measures, and I was beyond desperate right now. "Do it, Finn."

He didn't need much encouragement to push me back onto my elbows and take my pants down. He raised an eyebrow. "Going commando?"

"Boxers show." I gritted my teeth as his thumb traced circles on my lower stomach.

Finn kissed my jaw and down the side of my neck. "Easy access."

That was not the point! Not that it wasn't an unintended bonus, but I would rate high fashion over a blow job any day of the week. Then Finn leaned down and took the head of my cock in his mouth, and I was hastily forced to change my opinion. "Please, fuck, please." I felt like I was screaming it, but it came out in a choked half-whistle.

"Shh, unless you want someone to hear us." Finn, being Finn, didn't even bother to take my dick out of his mouth so he could speak properly. Normally, I would have reminded him not to do that, but the vibrations were only making things worse. No, change that. The vibrations were making things much, much better.

Finn was unusually focused on me, staring up at me instead of crossing his eyes to look at my dick, like he usually did. I had no idea what he was looking for, but he must have found it, because he redoubled his efforts. My hips jerked helplessly as he ran his fingers over my hip bones and across my inner thighs. One hand slid back, between my legs and rested on my butt. He was tentative and unsure, and made no move to even part my cheeks, but he was there, and he wasn't backing away.

A tiny thing, but it meant that he was thinking about us, and the next step that we would be taking today after school. I shivered harder, clamping my teeth together in an attempt to keep myself quiet. It wasn't working. In a last, desperate move, I bit down on Finn's shoulder. Hard.

He gave a thin little yelp of pain, but I was beyond caring. I was almost there, and if I could just get a little bit more-

Then Finn's hand moved, his fingers curling against my prostate, and I was very, very, glad for the fact that my teeth were still in his shoulder. Otherwise the entire town of Lima would have been able to hear me shrieking. As it was, I was pretty sure that I was more then audible to anyone who might be right outside the door.

Finn swallowed like a pro, dropping down to lay his head against my shins when he was finished. I let my head loll back, accidentally banging it against the wall and being too sated and tired to care. "Damn, Finn."

He didn't say anything, just pressed his face more forcefully against me. "Come on, then."

The desk was too small for both of us to sit comfortably, but I didn't mind getting half in Finn's lap. "How do you want me to do this?"

"With your hand." Finn laid his chin on my shoulder, watching me intently.

I had no idea why I even bothered asking. With my hand, always with my hand. Was it because I wasn't any good at giving blow jobs? I knew that I didn't have Finn's innate talent (or lack of a gag reflex, for that matter), but he always managed to get off. It was something I always meant to ask, but never remembered.

I wasn't mean enough to leave Finn hanging while I did it now, though, so I popped the button on his jeans. I covered his mouth with my own, cutting off his whimpers. "Shh, quiet."

He nipped my lip, not hard enough to draw blood or even really hurt, but definitely hard enough to make me pull back. I glared at him, and he glared back. "Me keep quiet?" He is voice was a half hiss-half moan. "You were the one shrieking like a pterodactyl!"

There was no real fire behind his words, just Finn's typical goofy sense of humor. I kissed down the side of his neck, tracing the vein with my tongue. "Brave words from someone whose dick is in my hand."

He chuckled, letting me know that I had made my point. "I love you." It was sickly sweet.

"You love handjobs."

"Well, yeah, I mean-Oh, Jesus Christ!" His eyes rolled back when I started sucking on his neck. Yes, everyone was going to be able to see the hickey, but, for once, I didn't care. Finn was mine, and I wanted to make that abundantly clear.

Everyone's just going to think he got it from Rachel.

So what? I would know where it came from, and Finn would, and so would the rest of the Glee Club. They had the only opinions that mattered right now. I bit again, this time much more gently, which made him shiver violently and come against my hand. "Fuck, yeah."

Almost immediately, he was nuzzling against me, asking silently for kisses. There are plenty of days that I think he appreciates the simple affection as much or more then he does me actually touching his dick. Who would have thought that Finn Hudson would be a romantic at heart?

I used my handkerchief (not a designer one, my emergency one) to clean him up, then leaned my head against his chest, feeling the rapid patter of his heart. Gradually, the beats slowed down, and his breaths settled back into their normal pattern. He kissed the top of my head. "You bit me."

There was no anger in his voice, just a lazy surprise. "It's just a little hickey, Finn; you certainly didn't mind leaving one on me."

"No, my shoulder. You bit it really hard." He squirmed, trying to see the mark for himself.

"Oh, it can't be that bad." I rose up on my knees so I could inspect the mark for myself. Honestly, Finn was such a baby sometimes!

Then I saw the damage. Finn's shoulder wasn't bleeding, but it was already darkening in a bruise, with each of my teethmarks all too evident. My heart sank. "Oh, Cowboy."

"Am I bleeding?" Finn twisted and jerked, but he couldn't see the marks.

"No, but I bruised you. I'm so, so, sorry." I kissed the marks, trying to erase what I had done.

"It's ok. As long as I'm not bleeding." Then he gave me another grin. "But you can kiss it again if you want."

I did, then kissed the mark on his neck for good measure. He wrapped his arms around me, tugging me more securely into his lap. "Can we just….I mean, I know you have to fix yourself up so you're all perfect again, but….just for a minute?"

It was a sad state of affairs when I could take that grammatical monstrosity and turn it into normal human speak. Finn wanted to snuggle. "Of course."

I tucked my head under his chin, causing him to give a happy sigh. Of course, Finn being Finn, he lasted about 15 seconds before he had to talk again. "So, are you coming over today?"

"I thought we were going to do this at my house. I have the bigger bed, you know. But if you'd rather do it at your house, that's acceptable as well." The closer it got to the actual event, the less picky I was about the details. I was, however, getting more nervous by the second. What if, after all of this build up, something went wrong? Or what if I didn't like it?

Really? Have you disliked a single thing Finn has done so far?

Sexually? No. As far as other things went….well, have you seen how that boy dresses himself? Please, it's like Abercrombie vomited on his closet floor, and he just picks up whatever wrinkled shirt and jeans spill out first. It's beyond disgraceful for a boyfriend of mine to be so handicapped, but I was letting it go for now.

Finn smiled gently. "Your house is fine. I mean, you know, you're kind of going to be in charge, so whatever makes you happy."

"I'm happy when you are, but I think it will go smoother at my place. Dad will be gone all day, and, even though I seriously doubt it will take that long, so we'll have plenty of time. Plus, we may need a shower afterwards…." I raised a suggestive eyebrow, and Finn laughed again.

"Awesome." He gave me another kiss, one that I was happy to return. Until the kiss became less romantic, and decidedly more pornographic. His hands were starting to wander a little low, as well.

I pushed him away. "No, Finn." He started to protest, but I held up a hand. "Don't even start. I know you, Finn Hudson, and I know how you function. First it'll be a kiss. Then you'll want to give me a hug that somehow ends up with me in your lap. Then my pants are undone again, and I have come stains on my designer shirt."

Finn stared at me, making no move to deny it. If I let this go on any longer, he would do something cute, and I would be right back in the position I was trying to avoid, sans pants. So I pressed one final kiss to his lips and slid off the desk, pulling up my pants as I did so. He sighed pitifully at the loss, but leaned back on his elbows to watch me.

I pulled out my compact and examined myself critically. I was too flushed, and my lower lip looked swollen from where Finn had nipped it. And my hair. Oh, Prada, I was redefining the term 'sex hair'. "What did you do to me!" I started rummaging through my bag, looking for something, anything, to help.

"Sucked your dick." Finn's words were partially eaten up by a huge yawn. "Why, weren't you paying attention?"

I started to answer but he interrupted before I could get the words out. "Oh, was that a rhetomical question?"

"Rhetorical, and yes." I found my emergency brush and hairspray, and pulled them out. The compact was handed to Finn. "Hold this so I can fix myself up."

His shoulders trembled as he tried to repress his laughter. Wisely, though, he made no comment. I brushed my hair down and sprayed it into place, making sure that I looked nothing less then perfect. To finish up, I lightly dusted my face with powder, covering my red cheeks. There wasn't much I could do about my lip, but, with any luck, anyone who noticed would think that I had just taken a particularly nasty dumpster dive this morning. "How do I look?"

"Really good. Like, model good." Finn jumped to his feet. "Oh, wait. You have some dust on your pants."

I held still while he brushed it off the seat. Then there was less brushing and more blatant groping. If he didn't stop that, we were going to end up with our pants down again. "Finn!"

"Sorry." He didn't sound the slightest bit sorry, but I didn't call him on it. "Where do we go now?"

It was a good question. There was another 15 minutes before the class period ended, so we couldn't risk standing out in the hallway for too long. But we couldn't stay here either. If we waited too long, and someone saw us exiting the closet together (and yes, Galinda, I'm aware of the double entandre there. There is no reason for you to make a perverse comment), it would spell disaster for both of us. I stretched lazily. "How about the choir room? There's no one in there right now."

"Sweet. I've got a song I want to try. You can play the piano for it, right?"

"Your faith in my playing abilities is quite charming. I can try." I pulled him to the door, cracking it just enough to peek out. "Ok, coast is clear."

Giggling like a pair of cheerleaders, we snuck through the halls and into the choir room. I sat at the piano. "Ok, what's the song?"

"Keep on Trying." He looked so hopeful that I felt bad telling him that I had no idea what that song was much less how to play it. He read my face and shrugged. "It's ok, I guess. It was kind of dumb anyway."

"Try it a capella." It's not one of Finn's particular talents, but he's learning. "Come on, there's no one here but me."

He sighed. "I guess, but not the whole thing."

He warmed up by humming softly, a tune that was a tiny bit familiar. "Ok, I got it."

When he started the song, I realized why I had recognized the melody. It was one of the songs my mother had sung, and one of the very few I had heard my father try.

I've been thinking 'bout

All the times you told me

You're so full of doubt

You just can't let it be

And I know

If you keep on comin' back for more

And I keep on trying

I keep on trying

And, I've been drinking now

Just a little too much

And I don't know how

I can get in touch with you

Now there's only one thing for me to do

It's to keep on trying

To get home to you

And I feel so satisfied when

I can see you smile and

I want to confide in,

All that is true

So I keep on trying

I'm through with lying

Just like the sun above,

I come shining through

Oh, yes I keep on trying

I'm tired of crying

I got to find a way

To get on home to you

That was all he was willing to sing, but it was enough. Words aren't Finn's strong suit. He trips over them, and misunderstands them, and, more often then not, ends up with what he actually wants to say stuck in the back of his throat.

But he was very good at expressing himself when he sang. He was telling me that he loved me, and that he wanted a future with me, and that, no matter what happened, he would come back to me. Yes, they were all things he had told me with words as well. But what was more romantic then a song?

Wild monkey sex in various positions and with different people on top?

She could just shut up. It would happen soon. Probably not today, but maybe tomorrow. Or the next day. Or even next week. But soon. I applauded. "That was great, Finn."

"You think so?" He sat down on the risers.

I sat next to him and snuggled under his arm. He squeezed me tightly. "I wish it was just the two of us all the time."

That would have been much sweeter if I wasn't positive that he only wanted constant privacy so we could be naked 24/7. "Maybe one day it will be."

"Yeah. When we live in New York and you're a famous designer or whatever it is you decide to do, and I'm a teacher and we have a dog named Slim Jim." He rested his cheek on top of my head.

"What if I would rather have a cat?" Actually, as long as I had Finn, I didn't care what sort of pet he wanted.

"I'm allergic to cats. And I think birds are scary, so no bird either."

"Ok, we'll have a dog and no cats or birds. Will we have kids?" It was so easy to get caught up in Finn's fantasy of how things would be that I could barely remember that none of it was real.

"I don't know. Do you want to have kids?" We had never talked about it before, but it made a certain amount of sense that Finn would be thinking about it. After all, he had already thought once that he was going to be a father, even if that hadn't turned out to be the case.

"Not right away. But, eventually, yes." I tried to imagine what my child might look like. Boy or girl? Would it look like me or Finn? Or would we adopt?

"Good. Because I definitely want kids. And Slim Jim. And you. It would be perfect." The bell rang, making us both jump and disturbing the fragile fantasy that had descended upon us. Finn bounced up, filled with energy, and pulled me to my feet as well.

We were halfway out the door before he reached out and whispered in my ear. "It's perfect now, too. Just so you know."

I was almost overwhelmed with the desire to kiss him, but managed to hold back. There would be a time when it was safe to do that, but not now.

There was no reason to be sad about that, though. There would be plenty of time for Finn and I to do things like that in the future, now that I was sure he was planning for us to have a future together.

I would be more concerned with your immediate future. Need I remind you yet again that you are about to let Finn Hudson, the same Finn Hudson who can't make it all the way across an average room without tripping twice, shove something up your ass. You're 100% sure that you trust him?

Of course I was. That didn't mean, however, that I wasn't nervous. Galinda did have a point about Finn's general grace. But today I would be on top, so I could save that worry for another time.

Oh, it'll be fine. You already got him, which was the hard part. You've held onto him when most people would have let him fight free, and you love him. The sex part? Easy, compared to that.

Galinda was such a typical woman! She could a 180 degree change in position within 10 seconds, and the men around her were expected to just nod and accept it without question. Just a few minutes ago, she had been telling me not to do it, because Finn was such a klutz.

I didn't say that. I just said be careful. I would have given Finn the exact same advice. Or do you not want this to go well?

I was saved the trouble of replying by Finn poking his head back into the room. "Are you coming or not? Don't you want me to walk you to French?"

I guess Finn wasn't worried about this entire thing at all. He lived in the moment, and, right at this moment, his only concern was safely ferrying me to French class. "Of course I want you to walk me."

Finn wrapped an arm around my shoulder, briefly jerking me off balance. "I'll meet you outside of your study hall, then we'll go back to your place and get busy."

"Sounds good to me." I was going to listen to Galinda and just let this happen. Even if it was terrible, (though hopefully it wouldn't be) we could try again. "Love you." I had to whisper it, so no one would overhear me.

His eyes flickered back and forth, checking to see who was looking. Then he flickered his hand, signing quickly. I love you, Precious.

I was pretty sure that that was all I needed to hear.