Chapter 52 – A blown out candle

Toshiro, Mio and Yoshika were sitting on one couch in the ships lounge. People were moving in all directions, not paying attention to the Fuso trio. It was the fourth day of October.

"Buuuuuh… Thank the goddess that we are maybe an hour away from Yokosuka… This cruise was the shit for the first week, but then it was just the same boring crap as the trip to Britannia… If it weren't for the library that is on this ship, I would drop dead…" Toshiro moped lazily.

"Oh shut up, Toshiro… You think I had it better? I couldn't do combat patrols, do drills with sailors, NOTHING!" Mio said with anger.

"It was fun for me…" Yoshika said silently. "But why did I have to share a cabin with Ms. Sakamoto, and not Toshiro?"

"Because you would do gods know what when left alone! Two teenagers getting bored are a signed invitation with RSVP for trouble. I know how affectionate you are to each other, so I had to restrain you two a bit. But hey, when we are on land, you can do whatever you like, as long as it doesn't bring shame to the Navy."

"Okay, Mio…"

After an hour and a half, they were standing at the railing with their luggage. The ship was entering the Yokosuka Naval Base docks. Many people were waiting for the ship at the pier, cheering and shouting.

"Mom! Grandma!" Yoshika shouted suddenly and started waving her hand.

Toshiro looked at the people down at the pier, and saw a woman with chestnut hair, standing beside and old, gray woman.

"Yoshika, is that your family?" Toshiro asked.

"Yes!" Yoshika cheered.

"Heh, how cool that they came… Mother probably couldn't come because of her condition. Thirst thing I'll do is visit her."

"Oh! Can I come!?"

"Well… Why not? But then I'll probably have to visit your mother, heh…"

"I don't have anything to hide, come when you have the need, heehee…"

The ship stopped and the mooring lines were fastened onto the bollards. Soon after the gangplank was lowered, and the passengers started disembarking.

Toshiro saw that a Type 95 'Kurogane' reconnaissance car drove up, with only the driver in it. The driver got out, and neared the gangplank. When their trio got down, the man saluted.

"Major Sakamoto, I'm here to get Warrant Officer Akayama to the base commander's office."

"At ease soldier. You can take Toshiro with you."

"Thank you ma'am!" The man looked at Toshiro. "Please sir, follow me."

"But…"

"Don't worry, Toshiro, I'll take care of your chest. Go now, it could be important."

"Okay…"

Toshiro got into the car, and he was driven to the well-known office of the base commander. The driver pointed to the door and said:

"Please sir, get inside."

Toshiro got out, and entered the building. Inside, he saw a surprising pair: the base commander was standing alongside some other army officer. It took Toshiro a few seconds, but when he finally recognized the bald individual, he saluted swiftly.

"Marshal Admiral Yamamoto! What a pleasure to meet you personally!"

"Now, now, Akayama, at ease."

"Yes sir!"

"You know what you were summoned here for, Toshiro?"

"No idea, sir."

"Well then… I believe you know that a request was filed for your promotion to 2nd Lieutenant, right?"

"Yes sir."

"That was before the incident with the Akagi." Yamamoto took a box from the commander, which Toshiro previously didn't notice. "Akayama, attention!"

Toshiro straightened himself like a broomstick. The Admiral approached him, and he removed the insignia from his uniform.

"Warrant Officer Toshiro Lucas Akayama, for your bravery in combat, destroying a Neuroi Hive and saving the lives of many of the Akagi crew members, including its captain, I hereby promote you to the rank of 1st Lieutenant!" Yamamoto said with a loud voice while he was putting on the epaulettes on Toshiro's uniforms shoulderboards. They had the same color and shape as the previous ones, but this time he had a 1/4th inch golden bar loop, a 1/8th inch black bar and a 1/4th gold bar underneath

"Thank you sir! Banzai!"

"I am glad you are happy, Akayama." Yamamoto said, but soon made a grim face. "But now, it's time to settle something else… Commander?"

"Yes sir." The commander replied, pulled out a piece of paper and passed it to Toshiro. "You better read this, son…"

Toshiro took the piece of paper from the commander and glanced through it.

Yokosuka Public Hospital, Kanagawa Prefecture

Death Certificate

Name: Akiko Akayama

Cause of death: Terminal Leukemia

Date of death: 3rd October 1944

Toshiro was lost. He didn't know what he just read. He had the feeling that the words had a meaning, but it slipped his mind.

"I'm sorry for your loss, son…" The commander said in a sympathetic tone. "The wake is being held today at the Sōgen-ji Temple, and the funeral is tomorrow at 1100."

Toshiro folded the death certificate and put in his breast pocket. He was acting mechanically, his mind detached from his body.

His legs were becoming weaker, his pulse slowing down.

"Hey, Toshiro, what is happening to you? Wha.. To…"

Toshiro fell down on the floor.

Toshiro opened his eyes slowly. He was lying in a bed, in a room that he faintly recognized as the base infirmary.

"Oh, Toshiro, you're awake…" Toshiro heard Yoshika's voice.

"Toshiro, what happened?" Mio's voice was also heard. "We ran here as fast as we could. It's not an everyday occurrence that the Commander-in-chief of the IFN yells out for a medic…"

What happened? If only… No… No… Mom… No…

Tears started gushing from Toshiro's eyes, that couldn't be stopped by any earthly force. He was wailing aloud, realizing that he lost his mother, the mother he loved for seventeen years, the mother which cared for him, fed him, clothed him, gave him shelter.

"Toshiro…?" Yoshika asked concerned after Toshiro calmed down a bit.

He pulled out the death certificate from his pocket.

"Here… Read… It… Both of you…" He said between sobs.

Yoshika and Mio huddled up and unfolded the paper. Their faces went pale in an instant, as they understood what they just read.

Yoshika immediately crawled up Toshiro's bed and embraced him while lying down beside him.

"Oh Toshiro… I'm so sorry…"

Mio grabbed his right arm and said, "Toshiro… Please accept my sincere condolences… Not as a soldier, but as a friend…"

With all this support, Toshiro finally calmed down.

"Thanks… But… Ugh… I will have to attend to the wake…"

"We will go with you, right, Miyafuji?"

"Yes ma'am!"

Mio grabbed a mirror from the cupboard near Toshiro's bed and gave it to Toshiro.

"Here, you should look at yourself right now…"

Toshiro hesitantly looked at his face in the mirror. He twitched at what he saw, because his hair turned pure white.

"What…"

"The doctor said that it's a very rare occurrence for someone to lose his hair color. Given what you learned before you passed out it is understandable. The Admiral said that your hair turned white in a flash…"

"Oh well…" Toshiro sighed. "Now you can call me 'Big Grandpa'…"

They went to the temple in complete silence. A priest greeted them and let them in.

Akiko was lying on a table clad in a white kimono, and a white triangle, an eboshi, on her forehead. Strong incense was being burned in the dimly lit room, full of ceremonial candles.

"Please, leave me alone…" Toshiro said suddenly.

He went forward to the body of his mother. She was paler than usual, but she had her usual smile preserved even in death. Toshiro stroked her hair once and grabbed her right hand. It was cold as ice, not warm like he always remembered.

"Oh mother… Why did you hide this from me…? Why didn't you tell me you were THAT sick…? I would have kicked Sakamoto in the ass and stayed with you…"

Toshiro went back to the girls and said, "You two can go home, I'll stay here…"

"Okay, Toshiro, as you wish…" Mio replied.

"Um… When is the funeral going to be held?" Yoshika asked curiously.

"Supposedly at 1100 tomorrow…" Toshiro answered.

"Okay… Bye, Toshiro…"

As the two went away, Toshiro stood wake aside his mother's body until sundown.

"Goodbye, mother. Until tomorrow…" He said as he was going out.

Toshiro decided to go to their old apartment, where his mother was living before she died. The landlord greeted him as he neared the gate.

"You must be Toshiro…" The old man said.

"Yes…"

"Truly unfortunate… Akiko was a good and peaceful tenant…" The man pulled out a key from his pocket and gave it to Toshiro. "The rent is paid until the end of the month, so you can live in the apartment until then."

"Thank you…"

Toshiro went to the apartment, and saw a chest before the door.

That Mio…

He opened the door and pulled the chest in. After turning on the light, a stream of memories from his childhood came to him.

Those were good times… Carefree, jolly times…

He saw a sheet of paper on the table in the room. He picked it up and started reading it.

Dear Toshiro,

If you are reading this, I have probably left this mortal coil. The doctors diagnosed a remission of my leukemia, this time on terminal level. I am sorry that I did not mention the true nature of my illness, neither after I got sick, and neither in the letter I have written to you.

I did not want you to worry about me more than it was necessary. I wanted you to fulfil your dreams, not looking backwards at your sick old mother. I know how much you loved me through your whole life, but you have to let go sometimes.

Your always loving mother,

Akiko

Always loving… Always caring… To the bitter end… My mother… Akiko…

Toshiro laid down on the bedroll her mother probably used and cried himself to sleep.

He woke up the next day to the sound of Yuki's voice.

"Good morning, Toshiro…"

"Yuki… Why didn't you say anything yesterday?"

"I… I'm sorry… I was too shocked to say anything… I was afraid I could make some snide remark that would hurt you… But do know you have my deepest sympathies, Toshiro…"

"Thanks, Yuki… What's the time?"

"You slept like a log, it's almost ten in the morning."

"Not bad…"

Toshiro got up and went to the chest. He opened it and changed his uniform to the IFN officer one, also swapping the insignia on it, which somehow landed in the chest.

Afterwards, he just sat on the floor and looked in the window. The lead colored clouds were moving around the sky lazily, prophets of a coming storm.

A knock on the door was heard.

"Come in…"

In came Yoshika, followed by Mio, both dressed elegantly and appropriately for a funeral.

"Pardon for the intrusion." Both said at the same time.

"Hi you two… Is it time already?"

The both nodded their heads.

"Then let's go…"

They arrived at the temple. A funeral pyre was standing on the courtyard under a canopy, with Akiko's body on top of it.

Besides the three of them, only the landlord came to the funeral.

What a sad sight… Mother didn't have many acquaintances it seems…

The priest was waiting for them already. He came to them and asked Toshiro, "Do you want to say goodbye to your mother for the last time?"

"Yes, please…"

He went up to the pyre, bent over and kissed Akiko's lifeless body in the cheek.

"Farewell, mother…"

He returned to the priest and said, "All clear, you can proceed…"

The priest commenced with the rituals, gestures, sutras and whatsoever, during which the pyre was lit.

Toshiro watched his mother's earthly remains being burned to ashes in an enormous fire.

After the traditional ash sifting, the urn with Akiko's ashes was buried, and a traditional sleek tombstone was placed over it. The rain started falling, first gently, but soon turned into a real monsoon.

Toshiro decided to go home alone in the downpour, devoid of emotions, a burnt husk of a man.

When he returned, he took of the uniform, and pulled out something that was forgotten from the chest, the bottle of sake, which Sugita gave him.

He drank the whole bottle, and given the capacity of it, he was strongly intoxicated.

"Life has no meaning… My mother has died…" He mumbled to himself.

Suddenly a thought came to his alcohol-fogged mind. He pulled out the pistol from the chest.

"Toshiro, what are you planning to do?"

"I plan to meet mother…"

"Are you an idiot?! Killing yourself won't bring her back, and neither will it make you meet her!"

"Then stop me…"

Toshiro neared the pistol to his temple with some difficulty.

"Toshiro! No! I can't control you fully when you are so hammered!"

"Then it's decided… I'm meeting mother…"

"NO! DON'T DO THIS!"

A knock to the door was heard. Toshiro started squeezing the trigger slowly.

"COME IN QUICK! TOSHIRO WANTS TO SHOOT HIMSELF!" Yuki shouted through Toshiro.

The door busted open, revealing Mio ready for action and the scared Yoshika behind her.

"Mother… I'm coming…" Toshiro muttered with madness in his eyes.

The trigger was pulled to the end.


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