Miss.Ecofreak: one more chapter dedicated to the complete humiliation of a Jak-and-Daxter-character
Zakura: oh the pain. I like that
Miss.Ecofreak: me too, as long as it's fictional characters and not me (I'm not insane it just looks that way...)(shots Ivy with a tranquilizer-gun, muzzles her and tapes her to the celing fan)
Zakura: can I turn that fan on?
Miss.Ecofreak: no. It's cold enough as it is (looks out at one feet snow that appeared during the day)
CHAPTER 49
KEIRA'S DRAMATIC JOURNEY
Keira was walking happily through the forest of unexpected happenings looking for Jak and some berries since she loved Jak and berries.
Then suddenly, as the name of the forest foretold, something unexpected happened (though it might not be so unexpected since this is Dork Period where unexpected things happen all the time)
"What was the unexpected thing that happened then?" Keira asked.
Miss.Ecofreak: Nothing.
"Nothing? That was the unexpected happening?" Keira asked.
Miss.Ecofreak: You didn't expect that! Did you?
Keira looked at the author with a look that said "You're nuts", and then kept walking to find Jak and some berries.
Then suddenly without warning nothing happened again!
"Will you stop that?" Keira asked.
Okay, so another unexpected thing happened and this wasn't just nothing.
It was a large air plane which crash-landed right in front of Keira and she didn't die from being hit by the left wing.
Out of the plane came the entire cast from Lost.
"That was unexpected" Keira said.
"Of course. It's the forest of unexpected happenings" Locke (one of the Lost-characters) said, revealing another unexpected thing, that he, who had never before made and appearance in this fic (or in Jak and Daxter/Naruto/Star Wars for that matter) knew the forest's name.
And so since Miss.Ecofreak has only seen like two or three episodes of Lost (and only season 2) and can therefore not tell much about it the plane blew up and all the lost characters flew of in different directions.
Keira was thrown away by the explosion too; she landed on the roof of the ninja academy in Sunagakure.
"WTF?" she said.
"Look mom! There's an elf on the roof!" a young sand-nin yelled to her mother.
"It sure is" the sand-nin's mother (who was quite obviously also a sand-nin) and started taking photos of Keira, it's not every day an elf lands on the roof of your children's school, in this fic it's only once or maybe twice a week.
"Er… will someone please help me get of this roof?" Keira asked.
"Just jump down" the oldest sand-nin said.
"This building is fifteen stories high" Keira said.
"In that case you're screwed" the oldest sand-nin said and turned to leave.
"Hey wait a minute! You better help me, because I know Sabaku no Gaara and he won't be happy if he learns you didn't want to help his friend" Keira said.
"I know Gaara too and I know he doesn't have any friends so he wouldn't care less" the woman said and left.
Keira just glared at the back of the two as they left her stuck on the roof.
"This sucks" she said.
Then, since Suna lies in the country of wind, she was caught by the wind and blew away.
"I hope I don't land on another tall building" Keira said and landed on the roof of Otogakure's (the Village Hidden in Sound, Orochimaru's village) Ninja academy.
"Damn!" she said.
Hoping for her bare life that oto-nins were more cooperative than suna-nins she started shouting for help.
Unfortunately she quickly learned that oto-nins were even meaner than suna-nins and they tied her up to the chimney so she wouldn't blow away again.
"I preferred being ignored" Keira said.
So let's ignore Keira and move on to the Naughty Ottsel where…
"I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT! GET ME DOWN FROM HERE!" Keira yelled.
But it wasn't much the author could do to help the character sitting on the roof since she had no ladder nor did she care much.
"Stop talking about yourself in third character" Keira said. "Keira finds it very annoying".
Miss.Ecofreak: Keira can just keep finding it very annoying because now that Miss.Ecofreak has learned that Keira finds it annoying Miss.Ecofreak wants to keep doing it.
"Damn! Gotta learn to keep my big mouth shut" Keira said.
She stayed stuck on the roof, and kept shouting for help in hope that there were some kind people around somewhere.
Soon Sasuke passed by.
"Sasuke! What are you doing here?" Keira asked.
"None of your business!" Sasuke said. (Miss.Ecofreak: coughIknowwhyhe'stherecough Zakura: coughyouwroteitmoroncough)
"Well… can you help me down?" Keira asked.
"No"
"You're as mean as the otonins!"
"No I'm not. At least I didn't tie you to the chimney"
"ONLY BECAUSE I'M ALREADY TIED TO THE CHIMNEY YOU BIG IDIOT!"
"Hey! You're right!" Sasuke said and bounced away like the hyperactive and quite stupid rabbit he is.
Sasuke stops.
"Listen up fuzzball-lover! I may be hyperactive but I'm not stupid" he said.
Miss.Ecofreak: aw! But you're cute!
Miss.Ecofreak ran into the set and hugged Sasuke.
"She loves fuzzballs alright" Sasuke gasped.
Miss.Ecofreak brought Sasuke with her home and Keira was finally left alone which she had wanted all the time.
"NO!"
Okay so she didn't want to be left alone, but we left her anyway.
"One day I'm going to twist the head of that insane precursor and feed her intestines to Pappy!" Keira muttered. "The little Papillion will probably be glad to have something else to bite than us for a change".
She sure is violent; better leave her up there a while longer.
"AAARGH!"
Orochimaru heard Keira screaming and came by, carrying a sandwich.
"Hi Keira. What are you doing up there?" he asked.
"I was blown away by an airplane exploding in the forest of unexpected happenings and blown onto the roof of the ninja academy in Sunagakure where no one helped me, and then a tornado came by and blew me away so I landed here and so your stupid subordinates tied me to this chimney. GET ME DOWN FROM HERE!" Keira yelled.
Orochimaru took another piece of a sandwich.
"What an interesting story" he said, and left.
"AREN'T THERE ANY GOOD NINJAS IN THIS WORLD?" Keira yelled.
"You've come to the wrong village if there are good guys you're looking for" said Kabuto, another ninja or a fossilised Pokemon, you decide.
Keira didn't even mind asking Kabuto for help, she had gotten used to being let down now and knew Kabuto wouldn't help anyway since she once put worms in his food when they were in school. (Zakura: but they didn't go to the same school! They're not even from the same period of time! Miss.Ecofreak: that's the mute point right now)
Kabuto didn't ask if Keira wanted help either, he took out a bowl of spaghetti he had been keeping in his pocket since he was five, the spaghetti was long since rotten and the worms all dead so Kabuto threw the old dish in Keira's face and left.
Keira was muttering more threats on my life as Zabuza and Haku came by.
"What are you two doing here? I thought you came from Kirigakure? (Village hidden in mist)" Keira said.
"We're missing nins so we hardly go there anyway" Zabuza said. "French fries?"
"… er… no thanks. But I would like it if you could help me down" Keira said, trying to sound nice although she was seriously pissed at me.
"Haku? Can you fix that?" Zabuza asked.
"What? There are probably lots of bugs up there!" Haku said.
"… You're scared of bugs?" Keira asked.
"No way! I just… ARGH!" Haku yelled and ran away as Shino came out of the building with his gazillion bugs as Zabuza looked at Haku with a puzzled expression, before turning to Shino.
"Hi Shino" Zabuza said.
"Okay now I'm confused" Keira said and pulled out a Naruto book from her pocket to check whether this was weird or not, and it was. She found that Zabuza was one of the bad guys and was killed before Shino even appeared in the manga, and Shino was one of Naruto's classmates from Konoha, and so they couldn't have met. "Shino, what are you doing in Otogakure? And since when did you two become friends?"
"Since this fic. It's completely random remember?" Shino said.
"Fine. Can you help me down then?" Keira asked.
But Shino didn't listen, he went with Zabuza to get Haku before he ran of a cliff, which he apparently had done before when there was bugs around.
"This OOC-ness is getting weirder every day" Keira said.
No one more came to help Keira, sure a lot of people came and went (even Jak who was looking for a toilet) but no one helped.
So at the end of the day, lighting struck the chimney so the entire building caught fire and Keira was finally free to run for her life so she wouldn't be trapped inside the burning building.
Miss.Ecofreak: don't you just love a happy ending?
Keira: do you call that happy?
Miss.Ecofreak: no. but I asked if you loved happy endings.
Keira: AARGH! (Attacks Miss.Ecofreak)
Ivy: (still taped to the ceiling fan) get me down from here!
Zakura: pain and suffering! Yes! Please review... I've never noticed we had a ceiling fan...
