BitterIce


Chapter 52 – A fresh start.


Renesmee's Point Of View.


My palms sweat tremendously. I keep wiping them on my jeans but it only makes the problem worse. I never thought I would be this nervous about going home. Before when I used to work at the pizza joint I couldn't wait to come home and would have expected myself to be bouncing up and down like Auntie Alice. I keep twitching, finding stuff to keep me occupied. But in this truck there isn't much to fiddle with. So I pick at my nail, twirl my hair around my fingers and tug at the cotton at the hem of my comfortable floaty top, which still exposes my little bump.

When I see the welcoming sign to Forks, my toes in my converses curl up. If the seatbelt didn't restrain me I would be sitting on the edge of my seat if I could, biting my nails so there are none left. Rose and Alice will furious with the state I'm in. Let's hope they will forgive me and won't start pruning me till after I've had some rest. Jet lag still hovers over me. I kept worry about my little boy. But he didn't once play up, which I was surprised about. I don't know if it's just me but I can see the slight change in his weight and height. It's only a little bit.

I glimpse across at Jacob who is seated in the driver's seat next to me. He smiled warmly and his dark eyes blossomed with care. Jacob returned his eyes back onto the road ahead as he said with calm soothing tone, "Don't you worry beautiful." He continues to look at the road as he removes a hand from the steering wheel and placing it comfortingly on my knee. Jacob rubs gently in circular movement which helps relax me a little. I'm glad to have Jacob with me. He's my protection, my warmth, my hope and my heaven. No one will ever take him away. No one. Not even slim ball Topaz. "Your parents will certainly be surprise to see you… but they will be delighted at the same time."

"Jacob's right Ren," Declan agree in the back of the truck as he watches over Leo. Glancing over my shoulder to them both, I uncover my worried look to him. "They just want you back in their safety. They've accepted the fact of Leo and they wouldn't want to argue about it. And if you're concerned about me and your Dad don't. We're cool now."

Resuming my gaze out of the window, I watch the trees passing by as I remember the horrible phone call I took months ago from Dad. He could have killed Declan if he wanted to. If Jacob and Jet weren't there then he probably would have and Leo would be without a father in his life. I shiver in my seat. Closing my eyes, I then sigh to myself as if the world is on my shoulder because it certainly feels that way. "… It doesn't mean he had the right to hurt you…"

With that, everyone fell into a compete silence, including Leo which makes me more slightly edge then before. I rub my hands along my jeans again making them sweatier. Jacob also doesn't approve of the awkward silence. He reaches over and presses a button that lights up the centre dashboard. He then touches another button and the radio turns on, humming out some sort of chart music that I haven't had time to listen to. I've missed my music a lot. I had nowhere to play a piano in private and that is one of the things I'm looking forward to as well. I'm also looking forward to getting back into my dance. I've missed that too. My coach probably isn't too pleased with me. Six weeks until I can do exercise. It's going to kill me. I want to be up on my feet already.

When Jacob turned the car down the drive, I got a sudden wave of anxiousness, filling my guts with the most awful butterflies ever.

I sense a sickening feeling in my throat as if someone had grabbed my throat tightly, chocking me on purpose. It doesn't let up easily so I unwind the window and let the fresh air in to cool me down from the growing tension.

Entwining my fingers together, I squeeze my hands together tightly before returning to picking at my already ruined nails. The nerves are seriously getting to me as I see the end of the drive where, I can see everyone waiting for me on the steps. I glance down at my lap and I automatically think the worse. Dad might be getting a kick out of my distress. I know I would if I was him. "Renesmee are you okay?" Jacob asked his voice filled with concern. "You look peaky…"

Through gritted teeth I simply respond, "I'm fine…" But I'm not.

I couldn't look as the stress bubbled up into a massive explosion as Jacob swung the truck slightly and parked into onto the empty drive way. My entire body shakes with nerves, concerns and guilt. I felt my family's golden eyes watch me but I couldn't return the same gesture. I actually feel shy. I tug my seatbelt off and before I knew it my door swung open and within seconds a coldness surrounds me. Mum. She has her arms bound around me in a flash, focusing me out of the vehicle. She forces me to stand with her but let me remain in her embrace. The quickness to me is out of this world. I cannot keep up. I've gone for a long time without seeing their vampire speeds but I guess I know now what it's like for humans. At that moment the anxiety of all my worries just flushes away and I feel at home. "Oh Renesmee…" I hear her voice cry. If she could physically show it she would be swimming in tears. I admit it's good to hear her beautiful voice which I haven't heard for months which feels like years. I really should have called her, she would have listened.

"What has she done to her hair?!" Alice blurted out somewhere in the distance as the other doors of the truck opened. I'm not surprised of her shocked tone I've been waiting to hear her opinion for a while. I knew I wouldn't have great feedback from her.

Mum crushes me tighter and I'm zoomed back into our connection. "Never go again…" She whispers into my ear with such power that makes me nod without realising I'm doing it. My voice has disappeared and I'm not sure if that's because I'm still scared or that I physically can't find it. At that moment, I took a tiny step back but she doesn't let go. I raise my hand and placed my fingers against her pale cheek. I haven't shared anything for a long time and I feel that I'm out of touch but I'm still able to show her everything. I show her start to finish of my journey, not wanting her to feel like she missed out on all my experiences. I knew that Dad would be able to see as well which felt like killing two birds with one stone. But I know showing them this isn't going to take all the misery they felt away but it's a start for making it up to her. Mum held onto my hand for a second after I finished, her lips curled up into a beautiful smile. She quickly threw me into another hug. "I'm so proud of you Renesmee…" She let go of me and squealed out like a little child, "I'm a Grandma…"

For some reason it felt weird to hear her call herself that. She does not look old enough to be a Grandma at all. She looks like a typical young adult even though she should look like her mid-twenties. In this weird world she is happy unlike when she was in her human form. Her eyes widen as she looks across to Leo as Declan get him from the car seat. She steps delicately towards them both, removing her connection from me. "He's-" She paused for a moment as Declan happily hands him over to her. "Absolutely gorgeous…" Her golden eyes focus on her grandson, taking in every aspect of him.

All of a sudden, arms fold around me like a present being wrapped. There is only one person who this could be of course. Auntie Alice. Over her dainty shoulder I finally peeked up at the rest of my family. Emmett and Rose smile down at me and mouthed 'glad your home', Esme and Carlisle walk down the steps with huge grins on their faces before passing by us to join the gathering around Leo. Dad captures my eyes next but really I was looking for Uncle Jasper. Dad shook his head at Alice's behaviour, knowing it was actually meant to be his turn next. But of course Alice had beaten him to it. I shyly smiled at him not sure how he will react to me. But I suddenly felt relaxed. My eyes crossed to Jasper where he stands behind Dad. He wink's over Dads shoulder knowing he's helping me to relax. Well saved Uncle Jasper.

"Sorry Ness," Alice didn't sound very apologetic. "But I have to say I hate your hair." Alice unexpectedly snapped out, "Why would you be so stupid and change it?" She doesn't let me answer as she continues, "The colours is so wrong on you. No it will not do. It has to go!"

I then said through thoughts, save me Dad.

"I'm going to have to change it tonight," She declared in a huff putting her hands on her hips. "

"Alice…" Dad stepped in the middle, prompting her to move out of his way. "She's only just got home from England," He reminds her.

"Alright… Alright…" She holds her hands up but I sense the deep disappointment in her tone. Alice then pouts at Dad before showcasing her super smile in my direction. She clapped her hands together once before saying, "So glad you back Renesmee… We all missed you."

"Kind of shows with everyone pouncing on me when I'm not aware," I finally speak.

Alice shrugs her shoulders and skips away to join the others who are all fussing over Leo and surrounding him with such love.

Dad presses a cold hand against my back and reminding me of his presence. I smiled at him shyly again feeling Uncle Jaspers power decreasing just a tad. Dad gently pushes me into his figure. I'm thankful he isn't trying to shock me with any hasty movements like Mum and Aunt Alice. It's a wonder they haven't given me a heart attack. Being far away, I'm not use to the fast movements anymore. I haven't been able to stretch my legs for so long and I know I need to but I just can't. Not yet anyway. Unless Carlisle says it's okay I guess. I lay my head against Dad's shoulder and mumbled out a short tear in our silent hug. With a delightful tone he whispers into my ear, "Welcome home Renesmee…."

I held onto Dad stronger, wanting him closer than ever before. I missed him even if I did tell myself I would never forgive him. Especially after what he did to Declan, which isn't acceptable.

Dad should have never had hurt him and it was both our mistakes not just Declan's. Though technically it was Topaz who caused all this trouble but I will have it out with her when I next see her. Though, if I was her I would stay the hell away from me. "I'm so sorry Renesmee…" Dad continued. "I shouldn't have… Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?"

I had no need to answer his question because he already knew I had forgiven him. If I hadn't then I wouldn't be letting him touch me and I most likely wouldn't be here. I'd still be back in England with Warren, Jennie, Nick and Trent. I must not forget to give them a call later or go on Skype; otherwise they will worry over me, like my parents. " I'm sorry for running away and not telling you where I was." Dad arms stiffened around me but he doesn't respond he simply kisses the top of my head. I continue knowing I need to get this off my chest, "I got scared. I thought you would take Leo away from me." I glance to the other side where I see Grandma Esme holding my precious Son.

"I'd never hurt you Renesmee," Dad's says with honestly. I know he wouldn't force me to do something I didn't want to. But with the pressure I would have. Dad twists his head in the direction of my wonderful child. "Leo likes all of the attention," he tells me after reading his mind.

Releasing Dad from our hug, I step backwards towards the vehicle and tell him, "You should go and meet your Grandson properly. Give him some more attention…"

Dad blinked for a moment registering the fact of what he is to Leo. He nodded as an agreement. He starts to turn and says, "Giving you the heads up, Alice is thinking of putting on a party tonight."

God help us all. I roll my eyes.

Dad stumbled out a laugh before heading over to Leo and taking him away from Auntie Rosalie who suddenly became attached to him. We're going to have to watch her. Dad was a natural. He got Leo's attention completely and they just focus on each other.

I hadn't realised Jacob had been waiting in the wings. He gradually stepped up beside's me and placed his arm around my back and his hand clutching at my side. "Does it feel good to be back?"

"Yep," I answer leaning my head against the warmth of his chest as we both watch my family adore Leo. "And I'm glad to be back with you…" I twist around and face my man. Leaning up on my tip toes, I reach my destination and steal a passionate kiss from Jacob. He doesn't seem to mind as he pecks my lips over and over again, just like the first time we kissed. I wanted to forget about our company but the screams of Leo reminded me of my first priority. I kiss Jacob one last time and start to tangle my way out of his hands. But he tugged me back.

"Tomorrow," He starts his dark eyes meeting mine, "I've got something special planned for the both of us will you keep a space in your diary for me?"

A beam shoots across my face wanting it to be tomorrow already. I agree with a nod and then say, "Anything for you Jakey…"

Jacob winked cheekily.

Happily I rotated around and joined the rest of my family as they all fuss over Leo. He wasn't intending to stop crying until he had my attention. Not even his Daddy could stop him. I take him off Declan and Leo automatically hushed his sobs. "Now what was all the noise for?" I say in a soft small voice as I rock him in my arms. Leo looks at me and his arms waves about. He settles down and I can see he looks tired. Time for a nap, I think. Mummy could do with one as well.

"We've got a surprise for…" Dad said glancing between me and Declan and his eyes cross over to Jacob. Dad doesn't explain but he retreats back towards the house in a human style walk. Carrying a sleepy Leo, I follow behind him and everyone else, including Jacob came afterwards.

Stepping in the house I felt secure, happiness, cheerfulness, cosy and relaxation. It felt like home much more than the shared house I've been staying at. Dad went up the first stairs to the living room and I quickly looked around glad to see nothing has changed since I've left. Dad went up another flight of stairs and then to the first floor passing my room to another floor which leads to the hospital room. That made me a little queasy but I noticed the extended stair case for a further fourth floor. "What the?!" I wanted to question why they have extended it but I couldn't get it out of my mouth. Maybe it's because I'm a little shocked from the new appearance.

Dad had a smug smile on his face as he continues to step up the stairs.

We arrived at the new floor and Dad tilted half around before saying, "I hope you like it."

He pushes open the white door and he steps inside first, opening the door for us to enter. I step along the oak floor and into the large area. I'm completely baffled. The area has been made into an apartment. There are floor to ceiling windows that look out at the woods and the driveway but it lets in the brightness from the sky. There is an 'L' shaped grey sofa, smart television, coffee table, dining table and a kitchen with every electrical device needed. Behind me I hear both Jacob and Declan chime together a, "WOW!" I spin around and look at all the white walls that have pictures on them. One of Jacob giving me a piggy back when I was younger along the beach, his smile was big and he looked like he enjoys spending time with me. I moved onto the next one and see Jacob and myself standing together on my birthday party which I didn't realise they had captured because my head was in a whirl wind after having fallen out with Declan. There were a couple of the family together. One of Declan and I before the prom. There were a few friend pictures and some frames had no photo in them. What?

"We thought we would get some pictures of Leo to put in the spare ones," Dad tells me after reading my mind. "Do you like it?"

"Like is an understatement Dad," I say. "I love it." I glance over my family and say gratefully, "Thank you so much…"

"This was your Mother's idea," He explains. "She thought it would be best if you had a place of your own but not too far away." I watch as Dad turned to face Jacob and Declan. "Declan we figured this is going to be difficult not being able to see Leo on a regular basis. So we've created a room for you," Dad pointed towards where the room goes into a hallway which I figured goes to more rooms just like an apartment.

"Cheers Edward, that's actually awesome…" Declan sounds completely chuffed.

"And Jacob," Mum took over from speaking. "We want you to spend your time with Renesmee and we would like you to move in as well. That way everyone is happy and together."

Emmett crossed the room and jumped on the sofa, ruining the position of all the cushions. He kicks up his feet and puts them on the coffee table and switches the telly on to a sports channel. Typical of Uncle Emmett. There is a sudden blur and then I realised Alice has Emmett by the ear and she dragged him off the sofa. "This space isn't for you, it's for them." She shoves him across the room and he tumbles over his own feet without falling to the ground like I would.

"Guys can you keep it quiet," I say in a very quiet voice not wanting to disturb my sleeping son.

Emmett holds his hands up like he hasn't done anything, "Not my fault."