A/N: Hey guys! So after reading the last batch of reviews I'm gonna take the time to clear some things up.
If y'all remember way back in Entry 36, I hinted that some of Ed's entries would begin to touch on events that're going down in my chp fic Ricochet, so if you're not reading that story you'll get confused with the content in some of these entries. Entry 50 is a prime example of this. So if there's material that looks new and doesn't pertain to the original canon stuff, chances are that's 'Ricochet'-related content. I'm getting close to when Ed decides to hop that train to Youswell and seeing Xena fight the military so consider yourselves forwarned. I hope this clears up any confusion going forward.
Cyber milk and cookies go to: ArtofthePlate, lilaclily00, Purestrongpoem, lolololol, and Number Eleven is My OC for their support and reviews! Happy Halloween to everyone who celebrates it.
It happened. I had another nightmare.
Again.
I was sleeping when all of a sudden I thought I heard someone walking towards our room. Mind you, I was in a deep sleep. Anyway in my head the footsteps drew closer. And closer. Then I realized they were coming towards the master bedroom.
Then I saw the knob turn and the door open. Very, very slowly.
I thought it was one of the kids but they were fast asleep in their beds. And the footsteps sounded like they belonged to an adult. Judging by the light tread, they were female.
I glanced to my left, thinking Winry had slipped out for a drink or something. But she was in bed, completely knocked out after pulling two all nighters.
A woman's slender figure stood silhoutted by the doorframe. She wore a long white nightgown and had long auburn hair. It was my beloved mother.
I couldn't believe my eyes. The logical part of my brain was telling me it was just a dream. She was long dead and wasn't coming back. But the small, orphaned boy hiding from the monsters in his closet, the child in me whose innocence had been brutally ripped away poked his head out from behind the safety of the thick wall around my heart.
"Mom? Is that you?"
I wanted to weep at the lost, yet hopeful note in his voice. The figure shuffled across the room, her feet-if she had any-making no noise on the wooden boards. Almost as if she didn't want to frighten the poor kid.
She glided to a stop next to where I'd sat up in bed. Trying to see if I was hallucinating. I knew she was dead and the dead don't come back to life. But then...she spoke.
"Edward. My dear sweet boy."
I wanted to cry but my gut warned me this wasn't real.
She cocked her head. Puzzled at my lack of reaction. Then the soft porcelain skin of her face began to peel away until she turned into that blank-eyed bloody, grotesque...thing we created after our failed human transmutation. "Why? Why couldn't you put Mommy back together sweetie?"
Then Nina showed up in her chimeral form.
"Big Brother. Wanna play? Let's play."
Kimblee was next. Red, glowing eyes. Mouth opened in a fit of insane laughter. The explosion that shortened my life. Blood. So much blood. Spilling from my mouth, gushing from my side, spreading in a widening pool on that mineshaft's dirty floor...
Those ravenous one-eyed albino monsters under the Briggs tunnel ripping their creators to shreds, the results of soul-binding from the Ishvalan war...the smell of burnt flesh as Mustang incinerated them with his flames...
I jerked awake panting and covered in a cold sweat. The horrible visions were gone, but I needed to get out. If this was a relapse I wanted to be someplace where I couldn't hurt Winry or the kids. I never want to see hand-shaped bruises on her skin ever again.
So I threw the covers off-careful not to wake Win up, Truth knows she needed her rest-found my slippers, overcoat and you, book and went to pay a visit to Mom and the old man.
The fall night was clear but cold. I trudged the dirt path down to the cemetery, remembering this was the very route Al had run all those years ago when he rushed me over to the Rockbells, half-dead and bleeding out. That's another reason why I had to leave the house. Tonight marks the tenth anniversary when we burned down our old family home and hit the road. October 3rd, 1921.
I carved the original date 3 Oct 11 into my State license as a personal reminder of the sin I committed and resolved to atone for. Even if it meant I became a wanderer for the rest of my life, I wouldn't stop until I'd fixed things and returned Al to his body.
Thankfully the moon was very bright so I sat down with my back to Mom's headstone and began writing. I think I might come out here or someplace like it when the flashbacks get really intense, book. That way I'm not hurting anyone or myself when they hit.
I think I'll sit out here for a spell until the images die down. The dead are nice and quiet and it's really peaceful out here. Yeah. Sounds like a plan. I'll be back in bed before anyone notices I'm gone.
